Well No One Saw That Coming
Author's Note: I appreciate all reviews and other forms of feedback. One of my reviewers on my Mother Knows Best story, wanted another Hinata x Sasuke. So here it is. It's an oldie, but a goodie as far as the plot is concerned. I hope to put my own unique spin on it though. This story will somewhat follow cannon, but obviously veer off for the pairing to happen.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter One
Kakashi places his head in his hand. Really, he thought he had understood what being Hokage would mean. He'd try his best to inspire and protect the village. Kakashi knew that he'd have to regularly battle the Paperwork demons from Hell, as Tsunade called it. But there are some things that no one can ever truly prepare for. This was one of them.
The silver haired Jonin had been going through some old boxes. The Third Hokage had been a pack rat. He never threw anything away. Kakashi was positive most of these boxes were older than he was.
He found a positively ancient box made out of solid steel and protected by several jutsus. Some of which were quite lethal. Well that got his attention.
There had to be something interesting in there. Thankfully, the seals somehow recognized who was the current Hokage and fell away. As a matter of fact on the box it said, Only the Hokage may open this box.
Oddly enough, there were only a couple slips of paper inside. He reaches for them and reads. Uh oh. This had to be a joke. There was no way this was for real. It couldn't be.
"Well no one saw that coming," he mutters and rereads the formal contract several times to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.
I, Fugaku Uchiha, and I, Hiashi Hyuga, do formally agree to the following betrothal. Itachi Uchiha shall marry Hinata Hyuga when she comes of age, thus creating an alliance.
If for any reason, Itachi is unable to meet this obligation (be it the result of having died or being physically and/or mentally incapable of performing his husbandly duties), my second son, Sasuke Uchiha, will take his place. Likewise, should Hinata be unable to perform her wifely duties for any reason, her younger sister would take her place.
The wedding is to take place as soon as possible, after all parties involved have reached their 18th year. If one or more of the people in this agreement refuse, they will be stripped of their Main House status, banished from the clan, and/or forced to retire active duty.
EXCEPTION CLAUSES: Contract will be null and void, if the Head of either clan changes their minds. In this case, compensation would be required for the insult to the other clan's honor. Contract will also be null and void, if another ninja challenges one of the engaged parties to combat to win the hand of the object of their affections. Such a battle would be to the death.
"Just when things had settled down," Kakashi mutters to himself.
Kakashi tried to think of a single time that Sasuke had ever mentioned Hinata. Not one instance came to mind. Hell, Kakashi didn't think the two had ever even talked to each other. Well there was still a chance. Maybe it was a forgery. (A rather elaborate one, but stranger things had happened.)
Kakashi goes to get the contract verified. Anko was used to dealing with forgeries afterall. She'd spent a lot of time in the Sound. This was one instance, where that was beneficial.
"Anko, is this a legitimate contract," Kakashi asks.
Anko reads the contract. The fishnet loving ninja, bursts out laughing. Sasuke and Hinata? Were there any two ninjas, who were more different?
"This is not a laughing matter," Kakashi says.
"I'm sorry, but it's so funny," she couldn't stop laughing.
"You are a ninja. Get ahold of yourself." Kakashi admonishes.
"Alright. Alright," she composes herself and runs what must have been a dozen tests.
"All the tests are showing that it's the real deal. This is going to be the talk of the Leaf," she says.
"Anko, I need you to keep this quiet…at least until I can inform them," he says.
"Of course. I'm not THAT cruel," she says while twirling a kunai.
"Good. No telling how Sasuke will react. We just rebuilt the village. I hope he doesn't go into a rage. Hinata will probably break down and cry," Kakashi says.
"That's why it's so funny? The Angel and the Demon," she says.
"You are not helping," Kakashi sighs and heads back to his office, Anko merrily waving him off.
The masked ninja decides to notify Hinata first. She was kind, quiet, and the least likely of the two to destroy public property. So he summons her.
Hinata was at the training grounds with her teammates. It was a beautiful day. Spring was in full bloom, there were flowers everywhere, birds were chirping, and the Sun was warming them all. In hindsight, Hinata should have realized that the universe was clearly trying to lull her into a false sense of security. Every time things started to go back to normal in the Leaf, something happened.
Kiba and Shino were training. Bugs against dogs. Surprisingly, the bugs seemed to be getting the upper hand. But she knew Kiba's determination. Neither man was really trying to harm the other; so it was fun to watch with Kurenai.
"They've gotten much stronger," Kurenai says approvingly.
"Yes, I think the war did that to all of us," Hinata says.
Shizune had stayed on as the Hokage assistant after Tsunade retired. So she was the one tasked with getting Hinata to Kakashi's office. She decided vagueness was probably best. She didn't want the poor girl to faint before she got there.
"Hinata, the Lord Hokage wants to speak with you. It's an urgent matter," Shizune said.
Hinata blinks. Kakashi wanted to speak with her, alone? She couldn't think of a reason why. She'd performed all her missions well enough. She never did solo missions. That largely ruled out the possibility he was going to assign her to one. Well one didn't leave the Hokage waiting. (Even if he himself was late for EVERYTHING.)
Hinata follows Shizune back to Kakashi's office. Maybe she was imagining it, but was Shizune giving her looks of sympathy and possibly pity? No, that couldn't be right. There wasn't a reason to do that. Sure, she wanted Naruto to notice her, but other than that, her life was going great. Hinata had recently won her father's respect. (Something she'd been trying to do her entire life.)
"Ah Hinata, please have a seat," Kakashi offers her a smile.
Maybe he wanted her to change from combat to a different specialization? Hinata had made inquiries about teaching at the Academy. She loved kids.
Hinata takes her seat. She smiles, noticing that the stack of paperwork was significantly lower than when Lady Tsunade was in charge. The busty blonde seemed to think of it as the ultimate challenge to try to get out of paperwork.
"Well Hinata, first I want to let you know you aren't in trouble. You didn't do anything wrong," Kakashi reassures her.
"That's good. Lord Hokage why am I here," she asks.
He rubs the back of his head, "It's complicated. Hinata as you know, Sasuke is scheduled to return from his travels shortly," he begins.
Hinata didn't see what that had to do with her. The bluenette highly doubted that the last Uchiha had ever spoken to her. But he was Naruto's best friend. So that was good news. Hinata believed in redemption and if Sasuke could go back to being what Naruto called the "Old Sasuke," that would be a great redemption story.
"That's good. Naruto will be so happy," she smiles.
"Yes, yes he will. But I want your PERSONAL opinion on the matter," Kakashi says.
Kakashi decided trying to test the waters first, was the best option. It was important that he find out if she had any bad blood with was possible she might be angry with what he'd put Naruto (and the rest of the village) through.
"Well there haven't been any reports of black flames engulfing entire villages, which is reassuring," she answers.
Kakashi chuckles. He had thought the same thing to be honest. Though that was too vague. At least, her tone wasn't one of anger or fear. He'd take what he could get.
"Yes, I am rather pleased the lack of destroyed villages as well. But I meant on a more personal level," Kakashi replies.
Hinata tilts her head. Kakashi was asking what she thought about Sasuke? She didn't understand why. Maybe he just wanted a neutral opinion to give to the Council.
"If Naruto trusts him, I trust him. I don't think he'll attack the village," Hinata answers.
"…," Kakashi wasn't sure how to respond to that.
It wasn't an unfavorable assessment. Honestly, it was probably the best he could hoped for. Still it would be nice if there was something more to build on. He hated to do this, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
"Good. Do you consider him attractive," Kakashi asks.
If there was one thing that was in Sasuke's favor, it was that women generally found him physically appealing. The fact that he was far more likely to chidori them, than to smile at them hadn't dissuaded some of his more persistent admirers. It seemed a common fantasy. Many women wanted to "fix" the bad boy.
"…," it was Hinata's turn to be speechless, why would Kakashi ask THAT?
"Hinata anything you tell me, will be in the strictest confidence. There is no right or wrong answer," Kakashi says.
"I've never really thought about it," Hinata said.
She wasn't an idiot. Sasuke had made it pretty clear in the Academy he could care less that most of his female peers had crushes on him. She'd always been focused on Naruto. If she watched Sasuke at all, it was usually because Naruto and Sasuke were always fighting.
If it was just a question of pure aesthetics though, there was no harm in answering. Was it possible that Kakashi intended to play matchmaker for his former student? An image of him getting Chidoried where NO man wanted chidoried came to her mind. Hinata couldn't help but laugh softly at this.
"Yes, he's very handsome," Hinata answers.
He was handsome in the way a black panther was. Terrifyingly, beautiful. Sure, he was nice to look at. But Hinata wasn't stupid enough to try to touch and get ripped to shreds by his fangs and claws. No, she'd leave that up women like Sakura, Ino, Karin, and…actually this was a long list.
"Good well that's a start. It'd be even more awkward if you didn't at least like the wrapping paper," Kakashi says conversationally.
"…Lord Hokage, what is going on," Hinata demands.
"I was clearing out some old things the Third Hokage had laying around. One of them was a very old clan vault of sorts. Someone went through a lot of trouble to make sure no one, other than a Hokage could open them. It contained a contract," Kakashi beings.
"What kind of contract," Hinata asks nervously.
"A marriage one. I'll have you read it yourself. I've already had Anko verify that it is legally binding. I am sorry Hinata," he hands her the agreement.
Hinata reads it and her eyes widen, "But if I don't do this, then I won't be a ninja anymore."
"It's possible, you'd just be stripped of your heir title. But yes, that is also another possibility. I believe your father didn't mention it because Sasuke had deserted the village before either of you came of age. Therefore, he couldn't fulfill his husbandly duties. He's coming back soon though and you are both of age now. Thus the situation has changed," Kakashi explains.
"Do-es he kno-w about this," Hinata stutters in disbelief.
"No, not yet. It's not something I wanted to risk sending in a scroll that could be intercepted. I thought it best to tell you first. You are by far the more reasonable," he responds.
"W-ill you tell him? You were his teacher. He knows you better than me and I'm not sure I could," she starts.
"Of course I will Hinata. Things are already difficult enough, without putting you in that position," Kakashi places a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you Lord Hokage. If you don't mind, I think I need some time to process this," Hinata bows her head respectfully.
"Take all the time you need. I'll need to talk to Sasuke anyway and he may need time to adjust as well," Kakashi nods at her.
Hinata nods. She stumbles out of Kakashi's office in a daze. She couldn't believe it. She was probably going to marry Sasuke Uchiha, a man she barely knew. The Hyuga Heiress doubted that he'd reject the contract. She couldn't imagine him wanting to be a civilian.
Sasuke arrives back in the Leaf, later that day. He heads to the Hokage Tower. Kakashi had said to let him know whenever he returned. The silver haired man had specified it didn't matter what hour. So Sasuke decided to take him at his word.
"Kakashi, I'm back," Sasuke starts.
He knew something was off. Kakashi wasn't reading one of his perverted novels. The new Hokage was staring at him just a little too intently. Sasuke would never admit it, but yeah he was now officially freaked out.
"Sasuke, you might want to have a seat," Kakashi says.
Sasuke was old enough to know, that was not a good sign. Whenever someone asked you to have a seat, it was usually for a damn good reason. He sits down.
"What do you think of Hinata," Kakashi asks.
"Hinata," Sasuke asks, blinking.
"Yes, Hinata Hyuga. It is important that you be as honest as possible," Kakashi elaborates.
"I don't really know her. She's nice, quiet, and completely in love with Naruto. Why did the loser finally man up and ask her out," Sasuke asks.
"… Well actually, it's sorta the opposite," Kakashi says cautiously.
"You're kidding. Hinata asked HIM out," Sasuke inquires.
"No. No. Naruto is not part of this equation. It is just you and Hinata," Kakashi answers.
"You want me to go on a mission with her," Sasuke asks.
"I suppose you could say that. Though it's a VERY long mission," Kakashi answers vaguely.
"Kakashi, you are starting to piss me off. What the fuck is going on," Sasuke twitches.
"I was cleaning out the office. I found some old boxes, one of them contained a contract between the Uchihas and the Hyugas," he says and hands him the contract.
"That's weird. Our clans didn't really associate," Sasuke says and looks at the contract.
"Kakashi, if this is your idea of a joke, I'm NOT laughing," Sasuke hisses.
"Sasuke, I am flattered that you think I'm that creative. But this was not my doing. Perhaps you'd recognize your father's signature," he lets Sasuke look.
Fuck! God dammit! That was his father's signature. Sasuke remembered the very distinctive way that Fugaku had made his F's.
"Does Hinata know yet," Sasuke asks.
"She does. Hinata reacted as well as can be expected. Actually, I think she took it better than you did." Kakashi says.
"…What'd she say," Sasuke hated asking, but he had to know.
"That she hadn't heard of black flames destroying any villages and if Naruto trusted you, that was good enough for her," Kakashi says cheerfully.
"So she's not, you know," Sasuke couldn't believe he had to ask if his future wife was terrified of him or not.
"She doesn't seem to harbor any resentment towards you. I really don't think she is afraid of you," Kakashi reassures him.
Sasuke sighs and says, "It's a start."
"Yes, I would wait a day or two before approaching her. This was just as much a shock to her, as it is to you," Kakashi advises.
Sasuke nods. He couldn't believe this. He was engaged. Well she could still back out. She'd be a civilian though, possibly disowned by her clan. He didn't think it was likely.
He could back out and leave the Leaf. The last Uchiha dismisses that thought, almost as soon as it popped into his head. He couldn't do that to Hinata. She'd never done anything to him.
"I think I'm going to go find the idiot. I need to punch something," Sasuke stands and starts towards the door.
"Sasuke," Kakashi says warningly.
"What? His skull is too thick to actually hurt him," Sasuke smirks.
"Some things never change. Alright. Some training might do you some good. Just don't overdo it and "accidentally" destroy the village," he says.
"Got it," Sasuke heads off and goes looking for Naruto.
Sasuke heads to Naruto's apartment. He knocked on the door. A very sleepy looking Naruto, wearing some Godforsaken orange pajamas, opens the door. He tilts his head looking confused.
"Oh hey bastard. You're back. What are you doing here at this hour though," he asks him, yawning, and stretching.
"I need a match. NOW," Sasuke yanks Naruto by the collar and drags the flailing blonde to the Forest of Death.
"Whoa. What the heck got into you," Naruto asks once they arrived.
"I'm engaged," Sasuke says charging up a Chidori and lunges.
"WHAT?! When did this happen? To who? Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were best friends," Naruto yells outraged, as he forms his Rasengan.
"It just happened. My father signed an agreement," the two go flying at each other.
"Whoa. So you just found out? But your dad is," Naruto starts to say only to get singed by Sasuke's Chidori.
"Dead. No one bothered to tell me about this betrothal. That's probably because Itachi was supposed to be the one getting married. But he's dead," Sasuke says and narrowly dodges Naruto's counter attack.
"Shit. Is there anyway out of it," Naruto asks as Sasuke aims a kick at his stomach.
"Someone would have to challenge one of us for the honor of marrying the other. It would be to the death. Short of that, one of us has to become incapable of physically or mentally performing our "husbandly/wifely duties." If we don't go through with it, we could both get stripped of our ninja rank," Sasuke growls out and grunts in pain when Naruto grabs his hand and hurls the Uchiha into a tree.
"Damn. But you still haven't told me who," Naruto says.
Sasuke gets to his feet, races towards Naruto, and hits him with a Lion's Barrage, "HINATA!"
Naruto at this point was alternating between laughing and grunts of pain. The bastard's punches and kicks were nothing to sneeze at. This was especially true when he was pissed, like now.
"No, seriously… who is it," Naruto winces.
"Hinata Hyuga. The girl that YOU should have asked out a long time ago. You two could have been married by now. Then none of this would have happened. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT," he rages.
"I like Hinata. She's a great friend. But I just don't like her that way. Besides, how is it my fault that your father signed the contract," he avoids some more hits, countering with a few of his own.
"…," Sasuke couldn't argue with Naruto's logic there.
That was something that rarely happened, the loser making a good point. Today was just not his day. How was he even supposed to deal with this?
Naruto senses that the fight was dying down. He gets behind Sasuke and pats his back. The blonde gathers all his courage and decides to try to console him.
"But it could have been worse. Hinata is kind, she's pretty, and I'm sure you two will make super babies," Naruto smiles.
"… You are such a loser," Sasuke says.
"Yeah. Yeah. You going to be okay though," Naruto asks in concern.
"I don't know. I barely know who my future wife is. I know NOTHING about her. Well other than she has bad taste in men. She wanted YOU," Sasuke says smugly.
"Hey! I resent that bastard. Well I know some stuff about Hinata. You could try asking Kurenai Sensei. She might tell you. I mean she'd want Hinata to be happy. So she'd probably be willing to help you out some," Naruto offers.
"Yeah, maybe I"ll talk to her. Shino never talks. Kiba is almost as oblivious as you. She's probably the best choice. Thanks," Sasuke darts off.
Meanwhile, Hinata decides to make the best of the situation. It was definitely not something she ever expected to happen. But she doubted Sasuke was going to say no.
He'd just barely been forgiven for all his crimes before and during the war. He wasn't going to lose his ninja status. Besides, as far as she could tell he held the same opinion of pretty much any woman. It wasn't like he was in love with someone else. (If he was, he was damn good at hiding it.)
Hinata finds herself knocking on the door of the hotel room, where Mei was staying. Mei was visiting to discuss some trade negotiations. It was easier to do it in person. She'd be there for a few weeks.
Mei hears a knock on her door. She was surprised to see a Hyuga standing there. She knew this one. The blue haired girl was the daughter of Hiashi. From what little Mei recalled, she was very shy.
"Hinata, what brings you here at this hour," Mei asks.
"I need your help. It's a long story. I apologize if I woke you, Lady Mizukage," she finds herself saying.
"A long story. Now that does sound interesting. Come inside, please," she says as she opens the door and allows Hinata inside her hotel room.
"My father signed a marriage contract. Originally, I was to marry Itachi but as he's dead," she starts to explain the strange situation to the Kage.
"That means it is now for you and Sasuke. What are the terms," Mei asks.
Hinata tells her, "So there's not really much of a choice. I came to you because I think you could help me," she murmurs something very quietly.
"Ohhh. You want to know how to make it a happy marriage so to speak," Mei seems greatly amused by this.
"I don't want to be ignored anymore," Hinata says.
"Of course. Well there are worse matches that you could have had. He's certainly pleasant to look at. Though he does have QUITE the temper. Tell me about his other lovers, that should give us a good idea what we are dealing with," she responds.
"…," Hinata was speechless.
"Well surely, he's had some. A boy with a face like that, gets offers," she says.
"I don't know if he has or hasn't. If he's ever been with someone, he's been very discrete about it," Hinata answers.
' "Hmm I see. So do you know anything about him? Sometimes the smallest things can signal a man's preferences," she asks.
"He and Naruto fight a lot. He's very… goal driven? Obsessive about reaching his goals really," Hinata says.
"…So almost nothing then. Any random person off the street could have told you that much," Mei shakes her head.
"Yes, that's why I came to you for advice," she says.
"Well with his personality, there are really one or two main possibilities. Either he wants to be in complete control in relationships or he wants someone who can challenge him," Mei muses.
"Which do you think is more likely," Hinata asks.
"He'd probably get bored if you were completely submissive. I'd bet on the second one. I may have a couple outfits that could prove helpful in… perking his interest," Mei says.
She heads to her suitcase. Mei opens it and shows Hinata. Hinata blinks, there was no way she could wear THAT.
"Of course you don't want to start off too dramatic. Just wear it under your regular clothes and go with the moment. If you come off as too aggressive to start off, well it will confuse him. I'm sure that he at least is aware that you are a more gentle soul," she smiles.
"I don't think I can wear that, it's… well not me," Hinata says politely.
"You mean too revealing. Hinata you are marrying the guy. He's going to see you naked. I don't think flashing too much skin should be a concern of yours," she offers logically.
She hears a loud THUD. Mei blinks and turns around. She sees Hinata has fainted. Alright, maybe she should have worked her way up to the sexy lingerie thing. Poor girl.
