A/N: Yes, this used to be a stand-alone one-shot, but I decided to change it into a one-shot collection. Any prompts you have will be gratefully be received and I will happily credit you in the chapter. This particular chapter was written BEFORE the Crimson Horror, but it took me forever to actually upload it. Thanks to user MadamQuicksilver for indirectly making me post this by saying she doubted I'd ever post anything... Is it bad I like proving people wrong? Anyway, thank you for reading (this very long A/N) and if you review I will love you forever and send you socks (not really. Well, I will love you forever). ~Ellie

Chapter Summary: Alternate Scene for the Crimson Horror, written based only on the spoilers released - the Doctor kisses someone and the distraction. When the Doctor asks Clara for a distraction, one of the last things he expects is a kiss... but that's what he gets.


The Doctor looked around frantically as Madam Vastra stared at him, unable to speak due to her current… predicament. Mrs Gillyflower had to be distracted if they were to get out there alive. Which, at the moment, it looked rather as if they wouldn't. "Clara," whispered the Doctor, unsubtly bending down to reach her ear. "We need a distraction. Any ideas?" Clara thought about it quickly, then looked up at him.

"One," she said.

"What is it?" he asked. She didn't answer him, not verbally; she stood on her tiptoes, grabbed his shoulders, pulled him close to her and kissed her. To the Doctor's surprise it wasn't at all like River, or anyone else for that matter. His hands went naturally around her tiny body, one on her waist, one on her back. Her hands were wrapped around his neck and she was continuing the kiss longer than was necessary. When they finally broke apart, Madam Vastra had knocked out Mrs Gillyflower during the… distraction. "If I'd have known the distraction you provided would be that long, Mrs Smith, I would've taken my time." Clara blushed and the Doctor did too, Clara wearing a small smile and the Doctor speechless, waving around his arms, pointing in an irritated manner at Madam Vastra, who just smiled. Jenny, too, was standing behind Madam Vastra, looking smug. "Now who's the potato one?" asked Strax. "Potatoes can't string together sentences."

"Shut up!" the Doctor told him. "You're still the potato one!" Strax laughed, irritating the Doctor further. Jenny sheathed her sword, which fortunately for Clara hadn't been used; she still hadn't quite got over the bodies from the Russian submarine. "So, now our lives are safe, perhaps you two could continue with what you were doing?" suggested Jenny.

"You did look rather engrossed," Madam Vastra added. The Doctor's blush was getting worse, as was Clara's. "Come on Clara," he muttered darkly. "Back to the TARDIS…"

"Remind me again Doctor, is Clara the girl who named your ship a 'snog-box'?" asked Jenny, deliberately winding him up. "Because if so, it's very appropriately named."

"Shut up!" yelled the Doctor, again. In this state, it was the only thing he could think of to say. "That really is a bad comeback," Clara informed him.

"Oh and I suppose you could do better," he grumbled, still annoyed.

"Yes," she replied and, because it wasn't too late for a better comeback, she turned back to Madam Vastra. "I DON'T NEED A BOX TO SNOG IN!" she yelled, grabbing the Doctor and kissing him again. This time, it was different, because it wasn't so… Victorian. It wasn't the sort of tender kiss a married couple exchange like their last, it was more like a frantic first kiss, the kind that leaves you out of breath and hungry for more. "Well, I don't suppose you do need a box. However, in Victorian London, it would be very rare to see a couple such as yourselves doing that, so the 'snog-box' would be a more appropriate place."

"So basically, your house is your snog box?" she asked, catching on and grinning.

Madam Vastra and Jenny exchanged a glance. "I suppose so," Madam Vastra replied. "Public affection is looked down upon mainly during this time." Clara grinned as the Doctor dragged her away back to the 'snog box'.

"So, will you accompany me back to the TARDIS, Mrs Smith?" he asked her.

"Of course Mr Smith, I would love to accompany you back to your snog box, as public affection is unacceptable between two people such as ourselves." She didn't realise until after she had spoken she had referred to the two of them as a couple and while they were still 'Mr and Mrs Smith' she knew – and so did he – that she hadn't meant in the roles they were playing. They both knew how he responded would affect their relationship permanently, so he chose his words carefully. "Well then Mrs Smith, let us go back to the TARDIS, where we can go wherever and whenever you like, whether public affection is acceptable or not?"

"Snog box," was the only thing Clara said.