Nightmares.
They never stopped.
Every night they came and every night they got worse. They were the worst after my mom died in a car accident. She was on the way home one night and she got hit by a drunk driver. The last thing I said to her was 'I hate you'. We had just been in a huge argument and decided to leave to calm down. I remember waiting for her to come home so I could apologize. She never did. The next morning the police came and told us she was dead. My heart broke and I hated myself. I locked myself in my room for days. I couldn't eat or sleep. All I could do was cry. I was sick of myself. I wanted so badly to switch places with her. She didn't deserve to die. I did. I was a terrible person. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. My dad made me leave my room eventually, but I was never the same. I was never the same as before. He died not long after, about a year and a half later. I was 16 when my mom died and 18 when my dad died. I'm 21 now and the nightmares are the worst they've ever been. I wake up sobbing and screaming almost every night. I don't know how to stop them. I just want them to go away, to leave me alone. I just want to be happy. Everyone thinks I'm happy and strong and expects me to be perfect, but I lie. I'm not perfect, I'm nowhere near it. I'm terrible. I'm the worst person I've ever met. I hate myself. I just want to be okay, to be happy. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask for? I guess it is because I'm not okay. I probably never will be either. I don't let anyone in anymore. I put walls up and no one's been able to tear them down. Only a few have tried and none have succeeded. No one ever will. The only one who's seen the real me and the only one ever will is my best friend. I don't want to get hurt again. That's all everyone does. All they do is hurt me. I couldn't handle any more pain. It hurts too much. So I've given up on everything and everyone. Nothing is worth pain.
AN: Okeyy, so this story is all in Clara's POV, unless I say otherwise. I think I'm gonna post like 5 chapters today, not including this one. Tell me what you think. I'm kind of wary about it. This is my first big story. Sorry if it's a terrible waste of time. Thanks for reading some of it anyway.(: And if you do like it, then keep reading and review please!(: Thanks!
