This is just a drabble of what's going on in Donna's head when she sees Josh through the peephole in King Corn. Because let's be real - it's such a sad J/D episode.


He's right there.

All she has to do is open the door and remove the physical barrier between them. Maybe then she could actually tell him all the things she wanted to say over lunch. The lunch he cancelled over and over again because she wasn't a priority.

She watches him through the peephole, and briefly she thinks he's struggling with his key card again, but then she notices he's not moving. He's just standing in front of his door, his head turned just slightly, and if she squints hard enough, she can swear he's looking at her door. That he wants to remove this barrier between them as much as she does.

But she left him. At least that's how she knows he sees it. It was everything she wanted to tell him over lunch. That she is so grateful to have worked for him and for his friendship, but she needs more from her job. And that this isn't about him. She doesn't want to lose him as her friend, but she can't keep working for him if she wants to move forward.

She loves him. Whether those feelings are friendly love or something deeper, she's never really thought too hard about it, but she does know she has some sort of loving feelings for him. But if he cared for her as much as she does for him, he wouldn't have held her back all these years, right? He would have let her grow. He would have been happy to see her move up in the political world. He wouldn't have practically chained her to his side for seven years.

CJ's words still ring in her ears a year later. I don't blame Josh, it takes two of you. You choose to stay. She did. As much as she wishes she could blame him completely, she knows CJ was right. She stayed. Josh didn't give her every opportunity and she still outgrew her assistant job during President Bartlet's first term. She voiced her wish to move further in her career, but she never acted upon it or went looking for other employment. In fact she turned down job offers while working for him because she didn't want to leave him.

She takes a deep breath and sighs, resigning herself to the fact that they're never going to be Josh and Donna again. Not the way they once were. And even if she opens the door and removes the physical barrier, she's almost certain the emotional damage is too much for even them to overcome. She hated hurting him. She didn't want to quit in the middle of the bullpen, but she had to. If she didn't do it right then, she never would have. She would have lost the nerve and spent another year and a half as just an assistant. If he had taken her along on the campaign trail, who knows if he would have given her more responsibility than answering his phones and making sure his burgers are burnt?

It doesn't matter now. She quit and went to work for someone Josh himself refused to campaign for. And when he looks at her now, he doesn't see a woman who was devoted to him for six years; he sees someone who left him twice. Someone who's never coming back to him.

Savoring one last glimpse of her best friend, Donna steps away from the door and heads to bed, holding back tears as she hears his door click open and then shut across the hall.