I do not own the eds, but I do own the story and the actual story I'm making of Necronomia
Chapter 1: Retired or Not Retired, That is the Question
There went another one down to the ground smashing to bits. The planes were now dropping like flies into buildings, pavement, and anything else in their way. "Dang it! I can't work under this pressure!" Double-d cried out as he ran through a city street and ducked into a shelter. Nothing was there except for a few guns. "Why can't I remember anything! I know I was sent here for a reason but what for what? The boss is gonna kill me for this!"
With that he grabbed the guns and ran outside blasting all the asian troops attempting to kill him. They kept shouting uncomprehendible phrases in Korean. "I'm sure you guys are basically saying kill me and if not, sorry!" Double-d shouted and blasted one of the troops in the head while heading for a sewer, "Allyoop!" He plunged into the open manhole headfirst. The koreans rushed past without noticing and the secret agent swam about in the muck towards the nearest exit.
"What do you mean!" the head agent cried as Double-d returned to their headquarters in Canada in muck and sewage, "How do you not know of what we assigned you to do! We specifically assigned you, our best agent ever, to infiltrate the South Asian military base and come back with the information about their secret weapon!" "I'm sorry sir, but that doesn't ring any bells, all I remember is waking up one night in Asia and trying to get out of there alive and if it doesn't matter all, I'm gonna quit doing this secret agent kinda thing!"
"WHAT!" he roared enraged, "No you can't! The Koreans are still after you! IF you quit you'll die! They'll hunt you down once you leave!" "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm gone, my alliance here is null and void." With that Double-d headed for the door before he was stopped by the voice of his exleader yet again. "Wait!" he cried, "At least let us give you some protection! And a plane at least until you're off it!" Double-d stood and thought for a few minutes and eventually replied, "Alright, fine, just until I'm off the plane, then it's sayonnara." He turned and walked out the door as the boss simply said, "I wish I could help him some more, but I can't if he refuses."
"Alright! That'll be my windfall now!" Eddy exclaimed excitedly as he won yet another round of poker. "No fair! How can you win every single darn game!" his opponent roared angrily. "Just luck I guess," the three haired boy replied and stood up with his collection in arms. "Hold it right there!" a man commanded and punched Eddy in the jaw spewing cards everywhere from beneath his shirt collar. "Um…oops?" Eddy said with a small, pathetic smile and tried to back away with his money, "Listen guys, I need this stuff for my agent retirement so I gotta jet!"
"No wonder you won every game you rotten, stinking pig you rigged them!" one of the people angrily told him as he approached with a dagger. "See ya!" Eddy slipped beneath their legs and jumped over their heads and sped this way and that finally managing to speed out the front door and toward the airport. "Tough luck fellas! No one's caught me yet!"
"But sir…I'm retiring, I quit!" Ed bellowed after pulling a spaceshuttle across a few football fields worth of rooms. "What! You can't quit we need you!" the commander told him, but Ed had already left the room and was headed towards the airport. "Man, I hope Sarah doesn't mind or else I'll be in uber big trouble," the dope told himself unaware of his redhead sister viewing him on a security camera. "All agents, report to the airport, Big Dopey has left the building, I repeat, Big Dopey has left the building and headed to the airport, all units report!" her voice rang throughout the secret agent headquarters.
Upon hearing this news Ed ran as fast as he could and burst through the locked doors of the headquarters and into a van which he drove at top speed toward his getaway destination. "Man, I really shouldn't have worked here!" he yelled at himself sweaty and sped even faster through a highway being sure not to hit anyone. The other, black cars with no liscence plates, were hot on his tail nearly scraping off the paint on the car's sides.
"Oh no you don't!" he yelled and threw a stick of nitro glisceren in back of him blowing up one of the vehicles, "Sorry man, but it's either you or me!" Just then Ed saw ahead of him a blockade of black cars with secret agents armed with various guns and his sister leading them. "Alright men wait for it!" Sarah commanded and then thrust out her hand with her fingers spread out and told them, "FIRE!"
Somehow none of the shots managed to hit the unintelligent boy and he simply sped right through some of the cars blowing them to bits. "NO!" Sarah screamed and leapt onto the back of Ed's car aiming a pistol at him, "Stop ED!" Ed looked up with a glare and replied, "Sorry baby sister, but this is for my own good!" Upon uttering that Ed jerked over to the side and back into the middle lane but Sarah refused to loosen her grip. "Darn it Ed, just stop this!" his sister ordered and fired at him but hit the radio and blew it up. "AH!" she screamed momentarily blinded. Ed took this chance to slam his fist into her hand and swerve of to the side and off to the other far side of the street finally flung her off into a meadow of flowers and he sped off.
"Geez, where the heck is this 'help' I'm supposed to get!" Edward asked himself pacing back and forth across the airport hallway, "I mean I've been waiting here for about half a freaking hour!" Suddenly a shorter boy ran up to him and looked around. "Oh good, no more thugs or AH! Listen mister I need this money! I'm retiring from the organization okay!" "Say what?" Double-d asked looking down at the frightened kid, "What a coincidence I'm retiring too. And looking for this help that was supposed to be sent to protect me wherever I'm going." "What? You're not a thug?" Eddy asked and then thought for a minute and a grin appeared on his face, "Say buddy, I'm the help!" "What? You said you were retiring like me though." "I am, but they sent me, a retiring employee to protect you! We'll just get off our flight whever it lands and, you know, just slip away like we agents do." Eddy replied with a wink.
"Okay, that's sort of odd, but alright, besides, if we wait here any longer we'll probably have to take the next flight to somewhere called Peach Creek. So let's get on board!" With that the two companions found their way onto the plane and the turbines began to start up.
"Oh man, oh man, oh man!" Ed cried focusing his eyes on a way to escape and spotted a plane just about to take off. He sped faster and faster towards the open cargo door, "This is gonna be close! Hey airplane crew outta the way!" VROOM! The car slammed through the entrance and Ed quickly got out and locked the cargo doors. "Hey!" someone exclaimed in frustration, but it was too late to catch him, the plane was already lifting up.
"What was that!" Double-d and Eddy exclaimed in usion and looked backwards at the back wall of the aircraft. Suddenly a tall yellow skinned child stepped out and sat down in back of them. "Hi, who are you guys?" Ed asked curiously from behind. "My name is Edward also named Double-d, I was a secret agenta few minutes ago but I quit." Double-d explained after turning around. "My name's Eddy! I was a master treasure hunter back there, but boy did I ever want to leave and so I pickpocketed a bit of dough and here I am now, a bodyguard for Double-d here till we get off." The short Ed told the new companion. "Oh awesome! My name's Ed, I was a construction worker for the secret agent place but I, sorta, just decided to quit and run off." Ed told his newfound friends, "So where we headed?"
"That's a very good question. Do you know Eddy?" Double-d asked turning to him. "Nah, for all I know we could be headed towards Jamacia." "So my own bodyguard doesn't even know…great." "Oh yeah, about that bodyguard thing…well…I…" Eddy began to say but suddenly the rockets on the plane thrust into gear and they were off faster than a speeding train.
A few hours later a signal came in from below in some odd city. "Yes? Who is th-ah!" the pilot exclaimed and was thrown into a drowsy state with his eyelids half shut and directed the plane towards the city below. "Oh my, looks like we're landing fellas." Double-d told them as a landing pad appeared on a tall skyscraper. "WOOHOO!" Ed hollered and jumped about shaking the aircraft a bit.
With a loud hiss the group landed and were let out by the sleepy looking pilot. "Thanks mister!" Ed exclaimed and jumped off and onto the ground below. "Yes thank you very much!" Double-d too exclaimed and jumped off to smell the fresh air, "FREEDOM!" "Hey, thanks buddy." Eddy simply said and stepped off. With that the plane lifted back up and shot off into the distance in a hurry.
"Welcome!" a thin man with grey thick hair greeted them, "To Necronomia! We do hope you three enjoy your stay here! Oh and it looks like you all worked for the agency isn't that lovely? We'll do the best we can for you here. If you ever need me my name's Roachester." "Awesome!" Eddy exclaimed and immediately ran through the doors into the hotel followed by the bozo of the group. Double-d hover was stopped when Roachester put his hand out to the side and said, "So you're all retiring? So that means no one will come after you ever again?" "No…why?" "Oh, I just don't want a big commotion here at all, we already have a lot to deal with here in Necronomia without secret agents wrecking up these places ya know…we were just expecting you you know." "Ah well, you got more than you bargained for I guess, but we can all fit into one room." Double-d told him and walked onward. "Oh don't worry," Roachester said to himself grinning, "We know we can fit you in one room, it's just how we are going to send you on your way is the problem."
"Aw yeah! Water beds!" Ed, Eddy, and Double-d exclaimed all at the same time. "I could get used to this!" Eddy announced and jumped onto one of the beds. "Whipwhip kayoo!" Ed exclaimed and hurled himself onto one next to Eddy and Double-d jumped on the one at the far end of the room. "Yeah…I guess this is pretty good." Double-d sighed and rested.
"Who the heck are you guys!" Eddy exclaimed as he woke up ungratefully. Some people dressed in white lab coats, white pants, white boots, white masks with transparent eyeholes and breathing devices, and armed with guns stood over the eds, "WHOA!" "Huh?" Double-d asked as he woke up and immediately slammed himself into one of the people knocking the gun out of their hands and armed himself with it killing the others. "Wow! You really musta been some agent!" Ed exclaimed hopping out of bed and grabbed one of the guns. "Yeah," Eddy agreed and took a rifle, "I'm just a treasure hunter, but man, I know good firing when I see it, ya got spunk man!"
"Okay you guys, these guys are out to get us, that much is certain, but let's try to stay alive. I've been in situations like this before now let's get into the vents before more of them come for us!" Double-d ordered and blasted some holes in a vent letting it loose and dropping it to the floor. "Sweet! This reminds me of when I had to do a little excavating in Russia!" Eddy happily announced and slid right in. "This reminds me when I have to crawl into those small places to get crumbs of other people's food!" Ed said exuberantly and hopped right in after his shorter pal.
"Hold it!" one of the people commanded busting through the door and firing as much as he could, but they were already gone. "Man that was close!" Eddy told them. "You think that was close! I was the last one in my foot nearly got blasted off!" Double-d told him. "Guys?" "What Ed?" they asked at the same time. "Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" "Geez, it really is starting to burn up! Must be near a radiator!" Eddy told them. "Guys! That is no radiator! We have to move, they're trying to burn us out of here!" Double-d told them and they hurriedly crawled along the long shaft. They coughed as they moved along on burning knees and palms. "AH!" Eddy, Ed, and Double-d all gasped in relief as they burst into an elevator shaft full of fresh, clean air.
"Halt!" more cloaked people ordered armed with guns in an elevator that had just stopped there. Quickly the Eds jumped on top of the elevator and wall jumped off the walls and up to another level in the building. Ed pried open the elevator doors and they jumped into a laundry shute. "Wahoo!" Ed cried as they sped downwards and into the laundry room full of the people. Quickly the headed out the door and jumped into a trash shute. "Oh great!" Eddy exclaimed as they landed with a thud in a heap of trash in a dumpster, "Now we're filthy!" "Would ya rather be dead?" Edd asked his two companions as he got out, "Might wanna get moving ya know." "Man this is just like the movies!" Ed told them as he and Eddy hopped out and they ran along the alley towards a car, jumped in, and started it up. "Well looks like we're not retired yet fellas, let's get rolling and see why we're wanted dead." With that they sped off into the night.
"Hello, yes yes, Jack Kite, this is Roachester of the Shadow Corp. in Necronomia. The spy we were said to capture and stuff. Well we've sort of had a problem with that. 1. There are actually three people from the agency and 2. they are pretty good, took us by surprise, but do not worry, we will get them, and we know exactly which one has the information. We will get it from them at all costs!"
Well I hope you guys all like this, it's a new spy story I'm working on called Necronomia, just a rough draft with the Eds as characters. Hope you like it and no, Jack and Shadow and any of my villains probably won't be in it directly just mentioned.
