Hang On
Summary: 1-shot. Dean's POV set after 12x01 Keep Calm & Carry On. As he drives thru the night in search of his missing brother, Dean has time to reflect on things as well as worry about what might be happening to Sam and remember long ago made promises. *Worried!Dean*
Warnings: Mild for language.
Tags: 12x01 Keep Calm and Carry On
Spoilers: Possibly some since it's set after the end so be wary.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the stubborn muse who thinks these things up.
Author Note: This is short but considering the muse has been buried under a rock for more months than I care to think about I'm happy it actually surfaced for this short piece in Dean's POV. I don't write 1st person very often since it requires being in the character's mindset so given the time it's been since I've written anything I hope it came out well. Thanks!
SPN SPN SPN SPN
I've been to Hell. I've been to Purgatory. Hell, I've even supposedly been to Heaven. I've seen it all. I've fought it all. I thought I had faced the worst night of my life when I had to watch the terror on my little brother's face when Hellhounds ripped me apart in front of him. I thought nothing would or could ever beat that…until now.
Now I'm pushing my car to the limit to race three hours away from Kansas in a desperate search for that very same little brother. The same little brother who'd clung to me in a cemetery when we both thought I'd be a human bomb used to defeat the Darkness and save the sun. The same little brother who thought I was dead and now was missing and possibly being tortured from some cold ass bitch.
No, this is now at the top of my list of worst things in my life because while I'm good with facing my own death or sacrificing my life for the whole greater good or saving a world that would sooner see me and Sammy dead I am not all that good at allowing Sammy to be hurt in any goddamn way.
I'd known that he hated the plan but to save the sun, to save the world turning me into a human bomb was the only choice open to us after Chuck had nearly been killed. I knew it was taking every ounce of strength that Sam had to let go of me. It had taken all of mine to let go of him because regardless of everything else when my brother hurt, so do I.
It hurt to know this time there'd be no second or 50th chance and it made me wish for possibly the hundredth or so time that our lives had been different or that Sam wouldn't be left alone. I know my brother. Hell, I raised the kid so I should and I knew he was far too much like me and our father then I'd ever tell him about. I knew the moment I died he'd go self-destructive but all I could do was hope Castiel could actually do what I made him promise and keep Sammy safe.
The actual not dying shocked the shit out of me. The return of our Mother was slightly more shocking but I put that on the backburner in my haste to get back to Sam. That was when I realized that I could still be scared out of my damn mind.
The blood in the bunker worried me but it wasn't until Castiel told me and Mom about the woman who'd not only been able to find the damn bunker and was able to blast him out of it but she must have taken Sam.
Now anyone who knew me, knew us, knew there were two things that you did not mess with unless they wanted me to feed them a body part or three: my car and my little brother.
I had already decided whoever had been stupid enough to grab him when he'd taken an emotional hit like thinking I was dead would be regretting it. Then I learned he'd been shot by some British bitch who had basically called my brother a piece of meat when she'd paid some Vet to take the damn round out of Sam's leg.
Yeah, I'd pretty much decided this chick was going to bleed the moment I found my brother. There'd been plenty of times in our lives that I'd felt rage over someone hurting Sam but it had been a damn long time, not since ole Yellow Eyes snatched him, can I honestly say I felt the fear like I do now at not knowing where he was or how he was.
Whoever this chick and her Amazonian Xenia wannabe hench bitch are or were in the one case it's clear they're playing on a field that is so totally different than what Sam's used to. A cold feeling in my gut tells me that this bitch might actually draw out the side of me that I buried since my time in Hell and if Sam's hurt too bad or worse then not even having an Angel or my mother along will keep me from unleashing those skills.
I refused Castiel's offer to drive and since Mom has only been back alive for a day or so there was no way in hell she was getting behind the wheel of my car. I'm also trying to ignore the images of just what the hell her and Dad got up to in the backseat and have to wonder if maybe there wasn't another reason Sammy always felt more at home in this car…nope. Do not want those thoughts.
Driving straight thru is a risk but the big brother in me, the big brother who had raised and taken care of Sam since the night Mom died and who has always almost been able to tell when he was scared or in trouble just knows in my gut that Sammy needs me and that just isn't going to wait for me to sleep.
Slipping my hand into the pocket of my jeans, I feel the amulet that I haven't been without since that day in that Sheriff's office when I realized that Sam had had it all those years. It had been a symbol of our bond as brothers and we'd been moving back to how we'd been before heaven and hell, angels and demons had tried to drive up apart. As I close my hand around it now, I make a promise to myself as well as to Sam…
"I will find you, little brother. I am coming for you and I will make that bitch bleed. It will just be us again…and Mom but I promise that we will be as close as we were and nothing will ever hurt you or us again."
Slipping the cord back over my neck like I used to wear it, I feel it laying against my chest and as I blink my eyes clear of the sudden blurring too much driving and getting beat on by Xenia's sister caused, that's my story at least, I ignore the little voice in the back of my head or the pictures going thru it of every bad or painful thing Sam might be enduring and I push the Impala a little faster.
"Hang on, Sammy. I'm coming for you."
I will keep that promise. I will keep every damn promise I made Sam about keeping him safe and us continuing the family business. I will also keep the promise to feed people their damn lungs for touching my brother.
Whoever this bitch is, she will learn the same damn thing both Heaven and Hell learned and that is pissing me off by hurting my brother is not the wisest thing to do because I also meant the promise I made to her on that phone. There is no way far enough to run or hide that will keep me from hunting her ass down for hurting what belongs to me.
"Hang on, little brother. Just hang on for me."
The End
