Hello all!
Enjoy the story, please review :)
Thanks- Laura
The mutt is after him again. She is trying to destroy him. She has already destroyed all that he loved. His family, his home, his heart. She is a deceitful mongrel whom needs to be destroyed.
The air is too thick for his lungs. His chest raises and falls rapidly. His thoughts race a mile a minute. There is something he is supposed to remember. There is something he is forgetting. The mutt is causing him to loose his precious mind.
"Daddy," a sweet song sings from the anguish of his thoughts.
He feels a pull to this sound. Something deep inside him is stirring. He feels as if he is supposed to do something. But what? How is he supposed to remember with the mutt ruling his thoughts?
"Daddy, I had an accident," the voice sings again.
His eyes open slowly. The jungle in his mind is replaced with a spacious white walled room. The hard ground he was laying on in his thoughts is magically transformed into a feather soft bed. The spot beside him is cold yet he somehow knows that it typically is not. There should be a warm body there.
"Daddy?" the voice is more desperate now. "Before mommy sees?"
He turns towards the voice. His whole body clenches. It's the mutt. It's the mutt who ruined his life and made him what he is today. Yet something is wrong.
This mutt is much smaller. She is tiny and insignificant compared to the mutt in his thoughts. And her eyes. His own eyes are looking back at him.
She touches his hand and like magic, warmth spreads from the spot through the rest of his body. It gives him the strength to move. To push back the thick blankets that cover him. With the blankets off, it is like something else has been pushed off as well. The thick fog that was over him is starting to lift.
"Baby, why did you wake daddy up?"
He hears a voice from the doorway as he sits up to put his feet on the floor. The voice makes him feel things. Things that confuse him.
"I had an accident," the tiny girl cries.
Her mother goes over to her and puts her arms around her. They look so similar. His heart breaks a little thinking about how much his reaction played into his daughter's reaction.
"Come on, my precious flower. Let's get you cleaned up," his wife says. She walks over to kiss his temple. Cementing him in the present.
He closes his eyes and lets her kiss wash over him. It is what anchors him. He feels fully grounded to the here and now. The mutt is gone and is replaced by two new creatures he could die for, not because of.
"Let me," he says, standing up and picking up the girl all in one motion.
"You're home," Katniss whispers, only loud enough for him to hear.
"Real," he says as he exits the room. He has reassured her that he is back. That he loves her. That he is sorry.
The little girl's tears have stopped, only her small sniffles remain. His heart breaks for his Lily, his flower blooming in darkness.
"Daddy is sorry, Lil," Peeta says.
His daughter's only response is to bury her face in the crook of his neck. All is forgiven. She knows her daddy. She understands she needs to be patient sometimes. Especially on mornings when mommy is not there when he wakes up.
"Can I pick out my outfit?" she whispers, afraid to alert her mother to her plan.
Peeta laughs lightly, "Of course. Whatever you want."
Her blue eyes light up. Mommy would never give her this honor of choosing her own clothes. Peeta understands what it means when people say Daddy's little girl now. Lily has completely warped his sense of reason. She has him wrapped around her finger.
"As long as you take a bath first," he adds.
"Ugh! Daddy!" she whines. Her pout is entirely her mother.
"You had an accident. Remember what that means?"
"I need to take a bath," she huffs.
He sets her down and she marches into her yellow bedroom. So full of color and light and it could blind you. His little water lily, who bloomed in the darkness, now thrives in the light.
"You shouldn't let her pick out her own clothes," his wife says from behind him.
"So we've been found out?" he says, turning and smiling at her.
"She's going to think she runs the place. She's three going on twenty," Katniss complains.
"Hmm, wonder which of us she gets that from, sweetheart."
She bats his arm and walks into the bathroom to run water into the tub. He smiles to himself. It amazes him that only this morning he thought she was a murderous mutt, ruining his happiness. That could not be further from the truth.
She is his happiness.
"I'm a little fishy watch me swim! Here is my tail, here is my fin. When I want to have fun with my friends, I wiggle my tail and dive right in!"
Peeta laughs. His daughter is standing in her room singing to her goldfish. She has taken off all her clothes and dances around.
She is carefree and happy; he'd venture to say joyous, most of the time. She lives in a world that holds enough food for all. A world where there is not suffering and death around every corner.
"Come on, fishy. Let's go for a swim." He scoops her up under one arm.
Her baby giggles alert Katniss they are coming. Peeta only gives her a questioning look as she flushes the toilet and wipes her mouth as they walk in.
"Bubbles!" Lily shouts. Katniss must have been feeling exceptionally generous this morning. "Daddy, look! Mommy put my favorite bubbles in!"
"Only because you did a wonderful big girl job this morning, Lily," Katniss says. Her voice holds no accusations yet he feels guilt roll off of him in waves.
Of course, she senses this and grabs his hand. She pulls his face down for a kiss. The smallest hint of love and adoration land on the corner of his mouth, making him smile.
"I'll go make us some breakfast?" he asks, wondering if she's been out hunting game this morning.
She only nods and turns back to Lily, preparing for the fight of washing her hair. It seems like so long ago her mother was the only fighting others whom insisted on bathing and beautifying her.
Peeta shakes his head at those memories. Katniss, the girl on fire. Being sent off to die in a blaze of beauty and glory. Those are things he remembers now. The days before the hijacking.
It took a lot of work and even more patience. He had resigned to the idea that he would never remember the days before the hijacking as he once had. Have the untainted memory of Katniss, before she became the Mockingjay. When she was simply his reason for being. Yet she simply would not allow it. She knew that inside were the memories.
Katniss pulled them out of him with her faith and her power. She would lay with him in her arms, reminding him. Playing their small game whenever an idea came to him that he needed clarifying. She drew him back from the pit he had fallen in.
That wasn't to say that he didn't still have his days. Like today. He shook his head in disgust as he cracks some eggs into a pan. When Katniss was not there to wake him up with her kisses or stroke his hair when she sensed him awake and tense, he would always have a bit more trouble coming out of his daze.
It was unforgivable that he couldn't remember who is daughter was sometimes. That it took so long to come to her rescue this morning. Yet he'd never hurt either of them. Not since that first time in District 13.
He finishes putting the finishing touches on the smiley face pancake breakfast he'd made for Lily and the omelet for Katniss as they walked in, hand in hand.
"Oh!" Lily yelled when she saw her breakfast. "Thank you, daddy!"
"Thank you, love," his wife says, with a smile on her face. It is a different kind of smile then usual. A smile he hasn't seen in a very long time.
"Anything for my girls," he says. And, god, does he mean it.
"What are your plans for today?" Katniss questions, looking directly at Peeta yet a voice from across the table sounds.
"Well, I think we need to collect some more flowers from the meadow for my room. Some have died," Lily states, looking with big eyes at her parents.
Katniss rolls her eyes at Peeta as if to say, "look what you've done to her". He just laughs. Of course, that is exactly what he planned on doing today he says.
Lily's smile is worth the looks from Katniss.
"Actually, princess of all that is good in the world," Katniss jokes, "you are going to stay with Uncle Mish today."
Her smile grows.
"YES! I love Uncle Mish! Do you think he'll have more funny stories for me?" Lily asks. Haymitch has been one of her favorite people since she was born. Uncle almost came naturally since Lily has no actual aunts or uncles of her own and Haymitch is quite a mouthful for such a small girl so Mish it is.
"Oh, I'm sure he'll have something for you, Lil." Peeta just looks over at his wife. She definitely has something she isn't telling him.
"Finish your pancake and we'll go over," Katniss says, getting up to clear her plate. Peeta follows her.
"Alright, what's the deal? What aren't you telling me?" He tries to keep his voice level but it's teetering on desperate.
"I just think we need a few hours alone today," she says, washing the plates. "Alright, come on, Lil."
And with that the girls are gone off the Uncle Mish leaving Peeta with his thoughts. Alone time with his wife was always cherished but why today? What was the occasion?
"I know you might not remember," Katniss says, scaring him out of his thoughts, "but today is a day we need good news."
She says things like that on anniversaries of tragedies. Dates from the past are not one of his strong suits anymore. Their anniversary and a few birthdays are the extent of his repertoire. He gives her a look as if to say to elaborate.
"Berries," is all she says and he knows. It is the anniversary of their first rebellion against the Capitol. Their berries. Of course she would remember this.
"Get a jacket. We're going out," she breathes as she heads upstairs to their bedroom.
He puts on a coat and shoes. Where could they be going right now? It wasn't even noon.
She walks down the stairs and grabs his hand. He squeezes it and smiles. This is so easy to him. Loving her like this.
"I adore you," he says, loving the blush that appears on her face.
"Stop it," she laughs.
They walk out of the village and into town. The air is cool and they are content to simply enjoy each other's company. Talking is optional between two people who know each other this way.
He raises an eyebrow as she walks to the door of Mrs. Wilks, the local midwife. She simply smiles back at him.
"Ah, Katniss, I knew you'd be here early!" Mrs. Wilks says, coming to greet them with a smile. "Still in the dark I see?"
"You know men," Katniss says to the midwife, "so dense at times. Especially this one."
"Hey, I take offence to that!" he says, feigning hurt.
"Come on, oh loving husband of mine," she laughs, taking his hand and following Mrs. Wilks into a small room in the back of her home.
They've only been here one other time and Katniss told him they would never be back. She said that it was never going to happen again. Once was enough and nothing he could do would change her mind.
He holds his breath and tries not to hope.
"It's ok, Peeta. You're allowed to ask," Mrs. Wilks says, laughing at the look on his face.
His eyes are large, sparking in the bright lights. His breath is shallow. His cheeks are flushed with excitement.
"Really?" he whispers.
"Who knows," Katniss says, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Anything is possible if you practice hard enough."
He starts to laugh as he says, "Then, sweetheart, we've got this in the bag."
"No, in the womb," Mrs. Wilks said, examining Katniss after a moment or so. "Congratulations."
His smile is about to break his face in half. He can't believe his luck. He holds his wife as tight as he dare, not wanting to crush the life between them.
"And from what you tell me, sounds like it will be a boy," Mrs. Wilks adds.
"What?" he asks.
"Trust me. I've seen enough pregnancy to know one way or another this early. Congratulations again," Mrs. Wilks says before walking out.
Katniss stares at him with a shy smile.
"I've suspected for a month now. I just needed it to be official today," she says looking him square in the eyes.
"Thank you," he whispers, still not believing his luck.
"Don't thank me yet. You still have to deal with me for these next months," she reminds him.
He thinks about her pregnancy with Lily. How she would stay in bed for hours and cry. How she would say how much she hated her body and what this baby was doing to her. How she felt lost, thinking that their child was going to grow up with parents who were not capable of loving it how it should be loved.
Luckily, pregnancy ended and parenthood began. Katniss was nothing if not a natural at it. She blossomed. She had the balance between loving mother and disciplinarian down.
He would help her float. Ensuring her survival did not stop just because the arenas were gone. Katniss was his life.
He grabbed her hand and lightly kissed it. He did not let it go as they exited into the town and walked back to their home. The entire way he thinks of names in his head, nervous to say them out loud.
"You can talk about it, Peeta."
He laughs softly. She knows him best.
"I'm not going to cry or bite your head off or lock myself in a dark room for the next 7 months either," she adds.
"I wonder what Lily will think," he wonders out loud.
"Well, since she is about 90% of her father, I would say that she will thrive in her role as a big sister. This baby will not want for love of a sibling, that's for sure."
Peeta saw it before Katniss knew she even felt it. Deep sadness. Lily would be the big sister that Katniss had been to Prim. Would have still been to Prim if circumstances had allowed.
She stops and touches his cheek. The warmth spreads through him once again. He leans down and kisses her. It is a kiss of reassurance, of admiration, of understanding. Mostly it is a kiss of deeply cherished love.
It has taken years. Patience and understanding on both their parts. It had taken more near death experiences than either could count but they were finally here. They were at a place where their understanding of each other was greater than their understanding of their own selves.
They were finally home.
