Buttercup with his belly full of bacon jumps of my lap; stretches his legs and heads toward the open kitchen window. Greasy sae has kept the conversation going up until this point with her stories about all the changes happening throughout the town, but she has now cleaned up the breakfast things and is preparing to leave. As she leaves the kitchen Peeta and I hear her say, "Good bye" and hear the front door close leaving Peeta and I are alone.
The smell of the still warm bread Peeta made, and the eggs and bacon lingers in the air. Peeta sits across the table from me our eyes meet a few times but no words pass between us for a few minutes, I eventually break the silence,
"Thank you Peeta; for the Primrose it was such a thoughtful gesture," he gives me a side smile and replies "I know how much you loved her and it'll be a subtle reminder of her every time you leave the house." "Katniss I'm sorry she died," Peeta says sadly. I reply instantly " I'm sorry too Peeta, I'm sorry you lost everyone,"
I may have lost Prim but, at least I still have my mother; Peeta has no family left.
Peeta gets up from his chair, walks towards me and lowers himself into the chair next to mine, facing me as he sits down. Peetas' hands find mine. "I've really missed you over these past few months Katniss", I give him a genuinely pleased and somewhat relieved smile.
He pauses for a few moments then takes a deep breath, stares directly into my eyes and says, "I'm sorry" "I'm sorry for trying to kill you Katniss I-I." "No Peeta," I cut him off "it wasn't you," "but I," he starts up again "No," I say more firmly "it wasn't you," "The Peeta I know would never have tried to hurt me in any way." I look down at our entwined hands as I say the next sentence "besides I am the one who should apologise"; He gives me a puzzled look. I continue, "When you needed me the most I gave up on you", he shakes his head in protest. "If it had been the other way round, if I got hijacked and had tried to kill you; you would have tried to get me back, stayed with me until you got through to me, saved me," "you would have wouldn't you Peeta?" his look tells me he would have.
I continue "I-I thought I had lost you forever Peeta, I thought Snow had taken you from me," the tears are welling up inside my eyes and I am about to cry for the third time that morning. Peeta takes his left hand from my right and wipes the tears that have run down my cheek. His touch is a comfort; his touch makes me feel warm.
Peeta leans forward in his chair and says "we are both sorry for a lot of things, but what matters is what happens from here on out;" "Katniss we're both broken and have a lot of fixing to do, it's going to be hard for us but, if we you know! Look out for each other maybe we have a chance of living through this nightmare."
I look at him through watery eyes and see the sincerity in his. I start to think back on all the times we have kept each other alive and say "because that's what we do isn't it Peeta? We protect each other"", we keep each other alive", he replies.
We give each other a warm embrace that makes me feel safe. I take in Peetas' familiar scent, along with the yeast and flour he used to make the bread. "I am glad you came home Peeta," I say softly "so am I", he says softly back.
We sit and talk and about various things for the next few hours, Peeta tells me about his treatments with Dr Aurelius. He manages to persuade me to call Dr Aurelius and set up a telephone therapy session for the following day.
We discuss what were going to do with Haymitch, the best we could come up with was checking up on him "everyday" to make sure he hasn't drowned in is own vomit and making sure he eats.
Peeta tells me that tomorrow he will go to the place where his parent's bakery once stood and where all if his family perished. I offer to go with him but, he declines "It's something I have to do on my own" he says adamantly I do not push it any further.
He cheerfully tells me he will bring me freshly baked bread everyday and I say I will hunt when needed so there will always be a hearty meal at the end of every day. We agree to eat our meals together.
That night I lay in my bed thinking about the future. I feel compelled to take out the one thing that has truly meant anything to me over the past year. It is the one thing that I have carried everywhere with me, the one thing I took with me to die, the one thing I truly cannot let go of.
I take the pearl from the velvet pouch; I now keep it in and hold it. I speak to it almost as if it can hear me, "My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am 18 years old, I survived the hunger games twice, Snow is dead, Prim is dead, Gale is gone, Peeta came home".
That night I fall asleep a little easier than usual. Buttercup is at the foot of my bed purring, sleeping soundly. The next Morning I wake up with the pearl still grasped in my hand.
I sit by the telephone feeling anxious; my finger is tapping the desk, Buttercup is circling my legs, I pick him up and begin stroking his fur. I wish Peeta was here with me, but he has gone into town to see the bakery, he would have put me at ease. As I wait for Dr Aurelius' phone call all sorts of thoughts start to go through my head, what will he ask me? I really hope he does not ask about prim, What if he does what will my reaction be, should I take the call at all? Just as I think, the last thought the phone rings. I decided to pick up the phone.
"Good morning Katniss" says Dr Aurelius' "I was getting worried you were never going to want to speak to me"," what changed your mind"? "It was Peeta, he convinced me it would do me good to talk to you", I say somewhat hesitatingly, "I see," said Dr Aurelius. I hear him write something down "Well lets get started shall we? We have a few months of therapy to catch up on"." I must warn you this not going to be an easy process, there will be a lot of difficult questions that will come up, are you sure your ready for this?" he pauses awaiting my reply. I ponder his question, Am I ready for this? "Katniss are you ready for this?" "Yes Dr I'm ready, I don't sound very convincing. "Okay lets begin then shall we ,first things first have you been having any nightmares?" I take a deep intake of breath, its going to be a long morning.
