Enjoy! ( I is Logan, You is Kendall. )
You.
That is all I've been thinking about since that night at your house, last week. You invited me to come home with you, after you started a little chat with me at the bar. I didn't want to say yes, because I knew what it would do to me, but your eyes.. I just can't say no to them. We were both a little tipsy, but not drunk enough to not realize and know what we were doing, yet neither of us stopped. I missed being intimate with you and it really brought back all the good memories I shared with you and at that moment I loved it, I needed it, yet here I am right now, heartbroken and hurt, alone in my bed.
2 years ago, you were my boyfriend, and I was yours. We used to be happy, we used to be in love. We were told that we were perfect for each other, and a lot of people envied our relationship. Everything indeed was perfect, until all the screaming and fighting started.
We weren't the happy, perfect couple anymore. And after months and months of fighting and unhappiness, we broke up. We broke up only a few weeks before we would have our 6 year anniversary. We broke up, and wanted to try and stay friends, in the back of our minds we both thought that spending some time as 'just friends' would maybe save our relationship. But we couldn't even stay friend, let alone start a relationship again.
After we broke up we saw each other a few times in the mall, or when we were walking with our dogs, we were still living in the same street after all. But we never really had a conversation. We did say 'hey' if we crossed each other on the street, but that was it. And it killed me.
Every time I saw you, every time I looked into your eyes whenever we crossed each other's paths and every time I heard your voice, even thought it only said 'hey', I realized there would never be someone else for me. I wanted you, and you only. You were my world, you were my everything. You still are.
I couldn't help but feel the pain in my heart whenever I thought about it. Even right now, here, alone in my room, closed eyes, thinking back about last week's night at your house, in your bed and all I could feel was pain and sadness, because it's probably never gonna be like back then again.
Even though it hurts, I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Whenever I closed my eyes, I could see you. You looked so beautiful at the bar, and you looked even more beautiful when I was alone with you in your bedroom. You took off your own clothes before starting to tease me. I saw you planting kisses down my body, I saw you licking and biting my nipples, and I saw you going further down kissing, licking and biting random spots. You eventually took my hard member in your mouth. I could see the dead grip your hands were having on my hips, definitely leaving marks. I looked deeply into your eyes while you were preparing me, and the next thing I saw was your eyes, bright green, only a few inches away from mine, staring intensely in my brown ones as you made love to me. Your huge eyebrows, being as sexy as ever. Your hair soaked in sweat and sticking to your forehead. Little droplets of sweat could be seen on your forehead through your beautiful hair, on your nose and above your beautiful, pink upper lip. If you weren't biting your lower lip, your mouth would be open or you would be licking upper lip. Your cheeks were red and shining. I could see my finger nails disappearing into the skin on your shoulders. As I moved my fingers to another spot, I could see your skin turning red. Your arm muscles were tense, holding yourself up. As I looked further down I could see your stiff nipples. Your chest was moving quickly. You were out of breath. I could see you belly button, and the trail of hair leading down, eventually coming together with you dark, curly pubic hair. I could also see your hips moving. Moving from and to my own hips rapidity.
I could hear you. I finally heard your voice saying something else than just 'hey'. That alone made me so happy. I could hear your laughter and your cute giggles, which I missed so much. A few moments later I could hear you breathing loudly. Every now and then you would moan or groan an 'Ahh' or a 'Fuck so good'. But what I loved most was hearting you moan 'Logan, Logan, Logan' over and over again. I heard the sound our kisses made. And I heard our skin slamming against each other roughly which also made the bed squeak. I heard my own moans and sighs. I heard myself screaming for you to go faster and harder, which you did, making me moan, screams and groan out your name even louder.
I could also feel you again. It started with just your hand on my arm or back. Later it were little kisses on my cheek but it quickly became soft pecks on my lips. And before I knew it you were shoving your tongue in my mouth, while you at the same time moved your hand from my side, to inside my underwear. I kissed you back and thrust my hips up, into your hand. You moved your lips from my lips to my neck. You bit sucked and licked, definitely leaving a mark. You released my member to take off my shirt with both of your hands, before you continued with kissing down my naked body. Playing with my hard nipples for a while and then leaving love bites all over my chest and tummy. I could feel you teasingly swirl your tongue around my head before taking me all the way in your mouth. Your hands had a dead grip on my hips, squeezing and pushing your nails into my skin. I felt you gagging around my erection, it felt so good. Then without a warning you pushed your index finger inside me, pushing and pulling it in and out of me. After a while you pushed the second finger inside me and instantly started to curl your two fingers inside me, hitting my prostate. You teased me a minute before replacing your fingers with your own hard member. You pushed in and let me get used to the feeling. After I gave you the 'You can move' sign you slowly started to trust in and out of me. The slow pace quickly became a rough, hard pace. But I still asked you to go harder and faster, which you did. I felt you hitting my prostate time after time. The feeling of your hips smashing against my bum hard felt good, and it turned me on. You bent down and placed your lips on mine, once again pushing your tongue inside my mouth. You pulled my lower lip away from my teeth when you stopped the kiss to take a breath. The hot air you breathed out touched my lips and cheeks. You moved your lips to my neck. I felt the vibrations of you moaning against my neck before you bit down in my shoulder roughly, while shooting your sperm in me. Everything I was feeling at that moment was so amazing and pleasurable, that I shot my sperm out of me as well. A few moments later, I felt you collapsing on top of me, cuddling and kissing for a while before I felt you pulling out.
That got me out of my trance. I opened my eyes and looked around, hoping to see you here, next to me in bed. But no, you aren't there.
I looked up at the sealing and realised that you really must not want anything to do with me. I haven't heard from you after that night. I thought it maybe would be the start of us again. But I haven't even seen you in the mall, at the street, or any where else. You didn't even walk past my house with your dog anymore. It's like you totally disappeared.
I grabbed my phone to look at the time.
3:47. Another night without sleep, because of you.
I sighed as I moved my eyes from the little numbers to the picture on the background of my phone.
I knew it was crazy. I knew it didn't help the heartbreak and pain, but the background was a banner of three pictures of us. On the left was a picture where you kissed my cheek, while I pulled a weird face. On the right, me kissing your cheek with you pulling a crazy face. And in the picture in the middle we were looking each other in the eyes lovingly, our noses were touching and we were smiling widely. The pictures were made on the same day: Our 1 year anniversary. The pictures were taken so long ago, yet we still look exactly the same, except for the facial hair. The pictures make me smile every time I see them, except for today. Today they made me cry. Tears escaped my eyes as I saw how happy we looked in the pictures. I wish we were still young. I wish we were still the perfect couple. I wish I was still the one for you, because like I said earlier: There will never be another you. There will never be someone else. You will always be the one for me.
I softly moved my thumb over my screen where your face could be seen and wondered how you were feeling, how you felt about all this, about last week. I wanted to know how you were doing and how you felt, and most of all: I wanted you to know you I felt.
Without over-thinking my idea, I went to contacts and searched for your name. I pressed on your name, and once I was there I clicked on 'Send message'. I started to type without thinking to much about it.
I miss you so much. You haven't left my mind since last week, and I just can't take it anymore. I love you so much and I hate that we're not together anymore. I hate that I can't touch you. I hate that you're not mine. I hate that we don't talk. I hate that I can't hold your hand. I hate that I can't get lost in your beautiful eyes. And most of all: I hate that I can't cuddle with you, that I can't be annoyingly adorable with you, that I can't laugh with you anymore. I not only lost my boyfriend 2 years ago, I lost my best friend, my soul mate, my partner. I lost my everything. Kendall, I miss you so damn much. I'm so sorry for everything, and I just wish I could hold and kiss you again. Sorry about this text, I just wanted to tell you this. Bye. xLogan.
I quickly pressed send before I could change my mind. I placed my phone next to me and stared at me sealing again, thinking about.. you. I frowned when me phone vibrated, telling me that I have a new text message. I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen. 1 New message from: Kendall. I didn't expect you to text back, since it was almost 4 in the morning, but I quickly opened the message.
Come to the lake.
Tadaaaaaaaaaaa. Next/last chapter will be up tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.
I hope you guys like this. I have mixed feelings about it, I guess. I think I messed up a few things here and there, but well yeah.. when do I not. lol. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think! :D
