AN: REVIEW PLEASE

AN: REVIEW PLEASE!! Constructional criticism is good but don't be mean. If you hate Twilight I don't care you shouldn't be reading this story if you do.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight at all or else I would be rich and be spending time in Hawaii, not on this site.

CHAPTER 1

What happens when 1 human and 5 vampires are cooped up together and feel like shit?

Random insanity…

(cue ominous music)

Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward were sitting in the living room. They had been watching a gossip girl marathon for the past 5 hrs because it was sunny outside (and you know, sparkly vampires…) and even Alice was getting bored. Alice and bored do not mix.

Suddenly Alice and Rosalie jumped up at the same time and started holding hands and squealing

Bella-"Ummm wtf?"

Edward-"That a stupid idea" He shrugs nonchalantly

Bella-"Not everyone is a mind reader Edward! Now tell-"

Bella is cut off by a growl. Alice has stopped jumping for joy and tries to attack on Edward instead but Edward and beheads Alice with a loud screech.

Rosalie walks out of the room annoyed by Bella's very human presence

Stupid human girl. Always stealing the attention! BEEP her and her "endearing" clumsy shit why do all the boys think she's prettier then me? I ought to-

Edward-"Don't even think about trying out your fantasies Rosalie"

Emmett-"I'll be a part of your fantasies Rosalie" He gets up and follows her out

Edward-"My mind is befouled!" He falls to the ground writhing

Jasper:-"Hey Edward thanks for beheading my girlfriend"

Edward-"S-S-Sorry" He tries to talk through the pain of watching Emmett think of fantasies involving Rosalie

Jasper-"No seriously she's as annoying as…as a werewolf!"

A second later Alice hands that were groping the floor finally found her head but she threw it at Jasper instead knocking another hole in the wall.

Jasper-"I'm Kidding! Jeez…"

Not…

Edward grins

Alice(while reattaching her head)-"Well I'm sorry but here we are all feeling like shit and Rosalie and I come up with a wonderful plan and Edward and you mock me. Oh Bella! Are you sure you want a part of this craziness?"

Alice runs over to Bella and puts her head in her lap faking tears. Bella glares at Edward and Jasper

Bella-"Jacob would never have done that"

Edward stops writhing and sighs exasperatedly

Edward-"Sorry love" He walks over and kisses Bella's forehead. Emmett was concentrating on his X-Box now because Rosalie was in to bad a mood to make out with him. Yet.

I wish she would shut the vampire up about stupid Jacob Black! Maybe I could "accidentally" eat him when he is in wolf form. Yuck! It would be worth it though…

Alice-"Wouldn't be a good idea Eddie-kins"

Edward-"I'll behead you again if you call me Eddie-kins"

Alice-"Eddie-kins, Eddie-kins" Alice runs full out around the room and Edward chases her, pushed past his limit with Jasper acting like this entire scene was utterly boring.

Bella stands up to her full height but then trips and knocks over Esme's favorite vase

Bella-"STOP RIGHT NOW!" Turns to Edward "Edward don't be such a 2 year old" Turns to Alice "Please tell us what this plan is before something else happens! And

Edward-"Fine. Rosalie and Emmett heard you Bella so there coming down now"

Bella looks so beautiful when she takes charge…

Emmett walks in the room with Rosalie

I wish Rosalie was in a better mood… Oh look Eddie-kins is being owned by his girlfriend

What is that fool human girl doing now? Rosalie was bitchy mood (big surprise there)

Edward glared at them and Emmett shifted guiltily

Alice-"So me and Rosalie-"

Rosalie-"You mean me"

Alice-"LET ME FREAKING TALK FOR CARLISLE'SAKE!!" The room immediately falls silent shocked. A large farting noise reverberated through the room. Everyone (even Alice) looked at Emmett who had just sat on the couch, right next Jasper, on a whoopee cushion that had "mysteriously" appeared.

The whole room burst out laughing and Emmett glared at Jasper who looked at him with "innocent" eyes.

Bella fell out of her chair and hit her head because she was laughing so hard at the look on Jasper and Emmett's face. Edward was to busy laughing to care and Bella was knocked unconscious.

Then everyone stopped and Edward slapped Bella who woke up dazed. He fretted over her until…

Alice-"EDWARD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN I HATE YOU!! IF YOU DON'T LISTEN RIGHT NOW I'LL BURN THE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR YOU STOLE FROM JOHN LENNON!! AND TELL BELLA ABOUT THE REAL STORY BEHIND YOUR CAMPING TRIP 3 WEEKS AGO!!"

'Yes, Edward. I would go there. So watch your back. You better sleep with your eyes open Edward Cullen… figuratively'

Bella-"wtf?"

'Can't my love say anything else?'

Edward-"it's nothing…" He looks away

Bella bursts into tears

Edward-"Later okay love? Let's just…er…listen to Alice. NOW." (AN: Edward has a few skeletons in his closet… muahahahah)

Bella finally controls herself and wipes away her tears. Rosalie glares at her.

Holy grizzly bears. Humans are so emotional.

Now that everyone was FINALY attentive Alice looked around at each of there eyes finishing with Bella's and finally makes her announcement in an ominous voice

Alice-"Truth. or. Dare"

The whole room gasps…