"No, I'm mad because I love you!"
My entire body froze at his words as I felt his anger and his heat behind them sink into my skin. My head snapped up on its own accord and I saw his bright blue eyes, shining with irritation, searching mine rapidly as his words settled into the air between us.
He loved me. Damon Salvatore just openly admitted his feelings about me and my entire body sprang alive inside. My heart began to beat faster, my skin began prickling, my breath became shallow and try as I might I could feel water burning behind my eyes.
I had always known he felt something for me and it wasn't because of the kiss he planted on me as we stood on my porch, one that still made my toes curl thinking about it. I wasn't naïve, I knew that in the beginning I represented some sort of twisted game to him in an attempt to take revenge on his brother. However, sometime in-between that and this exact moment the entire dynamic between Damon and me had shifted from annoyance, to tolerance, to understanding, to friendship, to a bonded affinity, and now to this.
It was the way he looked after me, the way he touched me and didn't touch me, the way he spoke to me both with his mouth and with those blasted blue eyes of his. It was the way my body lately would thrum whenever he was near and whenever he took control of an opportunity to touch me, and damnit if my body didn't burst out of its skin every time he did.
I had survived these last horrific months because of this man standing in front of me, looking so handsome in that tux it almost hurt not to reach out and grab hold of him. He was my closest friend, someone I knew I could lean on for trust, protection and understanding. There was an under running current of something so strong about our relationship that it had taken hold of us both and here he stood, the first one to openly state what it was.
My love for Stefan wasn't suddenly made false because of this new found discovery, it just made it different from the feelings that were now coursing through my entire being. My love for Stefan had been pure and untainted. My love for Damon is complicated and frustratingly so full of emotion that my entire body at times feels sapped of all energy.
My love for Damon….
My eyes were staring straight back at his at my unspoken confession and where his eyes were once shining with anger they now stared back at me with open vulnerability and hope. I don't know how long we had been standing there, me with my thoughts running wildly through my head and him starting unwaveringly down on my frozen body.
I loved Damon. There was absolutely no way of getting past that fact and I felt a thrill of energy shoot through me when I realized that I didn't want to get past that. I wanted to soak in these new revelations with him. I wanted to cling to the fact that after all these dark months of sadness and pain he still stood there as my one shard of hope that there was still something worth grabbing life for. He had been there for me through everything, unwavering in his protection and care of me as I faced some of the harshest moments since my parents death. He had stood by me and never once let me fall and now he stood in front of me, telling anyone who cared to listen in that he loved me.
He loves me.
I love him.
I need him.
"Damon…" I whispered and saw his body begin to shut down as my words took on a pleading tone. To him, sounding as if I was going to ask him again to shut his feelings up tightly in a box and throw the key to the farthest corners of the earth. To me, I'm asking him to close the distance between us as fast as his vampire speed would allow.
"I see."
His words were harshly ground and his eyes were almost biting at me and I felt my entire heart clench as I realized just how badly I was capable of hurting him, by denying him and I the only thing that made sense anymore. Love.
"Damon, wait…." I said as he turned to leave me, my hand shooting out on its own accord and grabbing his hand. It was his body's turn to freeze at the unexpected contact and breathlessness behind my words.
He didn't turn back around to face me but he did turn his head over his shoulder to look at me with confusion, sadness and newfound hope.
He was so handsome it was heart breaking with his jet black hair, penetrating blue eyes, strong jaw clenched in anticipation, mouth shut tightly in an effort to not let any more damning words loose, and his entire body frozen in place with muscles bunched together as to not make another move.
"I love you."
There was no build-up to my response, no music reaching a crescendo, no crowd around us to cheer on my admission. It was just Damon and me and this moment that was about to change everything.
He wasn't able to stop the look of shock that came over his face at my words, he was powerless to stop his body from turning so fast towards me that he reminded me exactly what his body was capable of. I felt his hands come up and cradle my neck while he took a step forward making me turn my head up to be able to keep my eyes on his.
His eyes were darker now and with them trained solely on me I could feel my body begin to heat as my cheeks flushed under his fingers and my heart began to beat swifter. He could feel the change in my body immediately and his responding smirk did nothing to calm me.
"Do you know how long…." He began to say when someone called out his name from behind us.
We both turned and saw Stefan standing, waiting.
I expected my heart to seize up and guilt to wrack me but all I could feel was contentment when his thumb rubbed the side of my face as he turned back towards me.
I saw Caroline grabbing her coat and bag from the front hall entrance and knew she was planning on heading home.
"I see Caroline, I can just see if she can drop me off on her way home." I whispered, watching as his eyes ran over me, desperately memorizing the features of my face.
He nodded his head once and without any warning in his eyes, he bent his head down and pressed what was supposed to be a chaste kiss on my lips. However, the second his lips met mine I felt goosebumps sprout up along my arms and my belly clench hard. The physical reactions caused me to gasp into the kiss and he took the opportunity to sweep his tongue inside, gently flicking at mine while his hold on the small of my back tightened.
I knew how inappropriate we must have looked, clutching to one another and wrapped up in a kiss that would have been better suited for a darkened hallway. Amidst all of this, I could help the tiny moan that came from his ministrations of my mouth. At my moan, I heard a low grumble from low in his throat and his hold on me tightened further. We broke apart and he rested his forehead on mine as I caught my breath, my skin was hot and heavy and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the yards of fabric I was in.
Damon took my flushed appearance in and grinned, making my lower belly ache, and kissed my forehead before whispering,
"I'll see you soon, love."
I closed my eyes and when I opened them, he was walking off towards wherever Stefan had disappeared to.
I needed a cold shower.
