(Sakura)

Here we all are, in Health class once again. Of course, I was sitting next to my abnormally shy best friend, Hinata Hyuuga. Naruto Uzumaki, the school goofball and only male cheerleader (PFFT), was sitting over at his table with his nonchalant and chronically overweight friend Choji Akimichi. Sasuke Uchiha, the school heartthrob (more like bile-bringer) was sitting at his table with his incredibly smart-as-a-teacher-lazy-as-a-sloth friend Shikamaru Naru. Along with them was their regular groupie and self-proclaimed popular blonde girl Ino Yamanaka. And then the anonymous girls who crowd around him. Across the room, near the window, was Neji Hyuuga, who was second to Sasuke in the heartthrob competition (as if), and Tenten Kinshasa, the rich girl who wears simple clothes and enjoys secretly sharpening her knife under the table while the teacher is talking (I swear it's a fetish).

So, in a sense, we're in a school of pure lunatics.

The first sign that this class was going to be bad was when our teacher, Ms. Yorkentire (what a horrible name), walked in carrying two cartons of eggs and a stack of shoe boxes. The second was when she announced we were getting a project. The third was when she pulled out a clipboard and I could see paired names on it.

The EGG Project.

For those who are illiterate, unintelligent, or just plain stupid, the egg project is when you get paired off into a couple and have to take care of an egg like it's your baby. You have to supervise it and not break it and then write a report about what it was like being a parent. I know that whoever I get paired off with will end badly. I imagine a few ways I would start off depending on my other.

Shikamaru: "When the father of a child is lazy and won't help me…"

Neji: "When the father of a child is a stuck-up tightwad…"

Choji (ulch): "When the father of a child is a fat slob…"

I didn't even want to THINK about what I would write if I got (shiver) SASUKE. That would be horrifying.

"So, as you might have suspected…" the teacher began. "… I'm assigning you all the Egg Project. I'm sure you all know the rules, so I'll just skip it and get right to it. Here are the couples."

Due to my relatively short attention span (equaled by a squirrel), I only managed to hear a few names.

"Tenten and Neji."

Well, wasn't that just lovely? Tenten screamed at the top of her lungs and stormed out of the room after breaking the glass on the door with her knife. Neji just sat there like a lunatic hadn't just stabbed glass.

Next one. "Shikamaru and Ino."

"WHAT?" Ino jumped up and slammed her hands on the table, nearly tipping it over. "WHY DO I GET HIS LAZY—"

That last word was too horrible to mention. It definitely earned Ino a detention.

Third one, and this is just gold. "Naruto and Hinata."

Now, I didn't mention that Hinata, although rather shy, has the hots for a certain blonde-hair. And of course, being a complete knucklehead, Naruto doesn't even notice her (scratch that, doesn't even KNOW that she exists). So for him, seeing her was like a meeting an exotic bird.

An exotic bird that passed out on my lap.

Technicality. Next couple. "Kiba and Klicer."

Oh, I forgot them. Stupid me. Kiba is a rebel of a sort. He sneaks his pet dog, Akamaru, in through his bag or sometimes his jacket. I think the staff notices it but lets it slide. This is simply because he has trouble living without Akamaru. When Akamaru gets bigger, that might be an issue. But for now, he's small, so no deal.

Klicer is almost a female version of him. She sneaks her pet bunny, Soneshi, in through her jacket. Fortunately, being a girl, this works in her favor. She is easily irritated and intensely flirty. But so is Kiba.

And this last one. It just… just… "Sasuke and Sakura."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to die. I wanted to rip every last hair on my head out of my scalp and throw it across the room and scream and stomp and break a table in half and throw a desk out the window and smash a door against the wall.

But, I just said, "Hm."

Self-control. It's a major turn-on, I heard. (HAHA!)

"So, please come up and get your egg and a shoe box."

It was World War III, to keep things short. Two people were bleeding and one girl got sent to the nurse.

Sasuke came over to me smoothly. "…"

Well say something, moron… I thought, but I said, "Give me the egg."

He gave me the shoe box. Our little egg (I swear, it was just adorable!) was sitting in the center, all comfy and cream-colored and beautiful. Of course, self-control.

"I'll decorate the box tonight and you can add more to it later." I looked up to find his onyx eyes (I mean, seriously? Onyx? Is that possible?) glaring at me. "What?"

"…" He walked off.

"WELL FINE!" I screeched after him. "I'll do this project by myself! I CAN BE A SINGLE MOTHER YOU—"

Lost self-control around that last word. I had to spend my first hour with my baby with Ino and her baby in detention.