Smoky Dissonance

By: Sunshinegirl09

ShikaIno Fic

The foul dissonance of cigarette smoke has never tasted so good. Shikamaru draws in another breath, exhales, and taps the stick of death. His mouth is dry, his throat is dry, and so is his life. He doesn't necessarily mind though because stress is something he hates. And while he sits, perched uncomfortably on the rotting wood of his crammed deck, he thinks about things that are stressful to his dismay. And that's why the smoke he breathes in soothes him.

Shikamaru overlooks a forlorn city, with billowy hazes of pollution and busy people, rushing around in the streets below, acting busier than they really are. He scoffs at them momentarily before deciding that he has enough to think about.

His crappy phone idly rests on the edge of the balcony. He keeps it there not necessarily because he doesn't care if it falls but because if it does fall then it is meant to happen. But don't get confused with destiny. That's something Shikamaru doesn't believe in.

If there is a thing called destiny, Shikamaru thinks, then Ino and I would still be together. And none of this would have happened.

He can't quite deny that he misses her. The twenty year old boy sees her still but she doesn't really see him. He feels her eyes see straight through him and possibly into a handsome individual standing right behind him. But never at him.

They'd broken up a little over two years ago, agreeing to remain friends but Shikamaru knows that their friendship will never be the same. Up until they were sixteen they'd been best friends. Shikamaru might've thought she was annoying. But he'll admit that he liked her… a lot. Too much.

It doesn't matter though, anymore. She broke it off. She told him that it should just be a friendship. She was the one who ended it.

Shikamaru easily recalls her walking out the door, her graceful footsteps not carrying as much poise as they normally did. He hears her sobs in his head over and over. They fought about something so small, so miniscule, and so trivial.

He shamefully regrets not reaching out for her, not grabbing her shoulders and twisting her to face him. When he's sad about it he sometimes thinks of how he should've held her cheeks and wiped the tears and whispered it's going to be okay, I'm sorry.

Shikamaru doesn't get this way over women but Ino is the exception. It's only because he knows that he'll never find a woman he can stand being with other than her. She was very girly at times, emotional, and incredibly annoying. But she was also clever, witty, and strong. She actually liked him too. And now she's gone.

Sometimes he wonders if she misses him too.

Shikamaru leaves his distasteful balcony and enters his small apartment. It's very untidy, dishes lying astray on the counters, his bed unkempt, and his clothes littering the floor sordidly.

But cleaning is not really his thing.

Shikamaru curses when he realizes that he's out of cigarettes. He no longer feels guilty when he smokes though. Ino had always been against it, slapping the cigarettes out of his fingers the moment they were visible. When they initially broke up, all Shikamaru wanted to do was smoke it out but for the first year he couldn't out of remorse, regret, and just the immense pain that accompanied his memories of her.

He's long past that stage.

Shikamaru is smart enough to go to any college he wants but he can't afford it. This leaves him stuck in a crappy apartment, in a bad part of town, working at mechanics shop. The employers love him because he can literally fix everything being the genius that he is. But it doesn't mean they pay him decently.

Ino couldn't afford a great college either but, unlike Shikamaru, she wasn't a genius despite her clever and intelligent points. She still attended a community college and worked part time at her parents flower shop. Shikamaru hates community colleges so he refuses what's affordable.

Ironically, Ino doesn't get along with her parents very well, so Shikamaru knows she must be suffering at the flower shop. He remembers all the times she'd come to him crying because of her violent family arguments.

But, he thinks, at least she's happier than me. It's a proper conclusion considering her numerous boyfriends that she's had since the breakup.

Shikamaru considers going to bed early but he's not tired enough to fall asleep. If he tries now, he'll never end up dozing off. He thinks it's a pain because in high school he could literally sleep on command. But countless of nights spent awake working has permanently damaged his sleeping pattern.

He's about to get into the shower when he hears a screeching buzz. It confuses him at first because there's a clanging against metal but he realizes that it's his phone and dashes out to the balcony.

Shikamaru's cell phone nearly buzzes off the edge before he grabs it. His smoking has ruined his breathing so he catches his breath for a few seconds before checking for the identity of the caller.

Call from…Yamanaka Ino

He's in so much shock that he nearly drops it again. Though it doesn't show, he is inwardly panicking. Sure, he and Ino still talk every once in a while. But she hasn't actually called him on his phone since they broke up.

Shikamaru almost stops himself from answering but he picks up almost out of habit.

"Hello?" His voice is calm, collected, and emotionless. It contrasts with how he feels inside.

He's greeted with raspy and shaky breathing.

"Ino?"

"Shikamaru." Her voice comes through very broken, in pain. She trembles with every syllable.

"Ino? Is something wrong? Are you okay?" Shikamaru talks slowly because he's confused and he doesn't want to overwhelm his ex.

"I-I just-" she cuts herself off. "LEAVE ME ALONE. OKAY? I TOLD YOU I'M GOING. AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME."

"Ino, what's going on?" Shikamaru tries not to sound worried because he wants to keep her calm. "Where are you?"

He hears her briskly walking on concrete with her heels.

"I just miss you," Ino quickly remarks between obvious sniffles.

"Seriously, Ino," Shikamaru counters. "This isn't funny. Who were you yelling at?"

"No one."

Shikamaru paces around his apartment uncomfortably. He stalks into the kitchen to get a glass of water to calm his nerves.

"Why are you calling me?"

There's a brief pause.

"I don't know," Ino sobs into the receiver and Shikamaru feels his heart breaking.

"Ino-"

"I don't know, Shikamaru," she cuts him off. "I just can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"This."

Shikamaru scrubs his face and claws at his eyes, trying to wrap his head around the situation. For a genius he feels pretty daft.

"Okay, listen," he says. "Tell me what happened."

"Can I see you?"

"What?"

"Shikamaru, please. I can't have another night without you. I seriously need you right now." Ino is viciously crying and he thinks he hears her trip.

"Okay," Shikamaru finally whispers after a stretch of silence. "Okay. Hang on."

He rubs his eyes with his thumbs, picking at his lids. If anything happens to her he knows he'll never forgive himself but this is so sudden. He doesn't know how he feels.

"I'm coming over, Shikamaru," Ino says very quietly. "We need to talk anyway."

"I don't know, Ino," Shikamaru reasons. "My neighborhood's not very nice-"

"Well it's too late because I'm already on my way."

Shikamaru almost almost smiles because that's the Ino he knows, the one he hasn't seen in years. She's stubborn and straightforward. There's no beating around the bush. With Shikamaru she used to speak with the purest honesty.

He expects the experience to be very awkward though, thinking she'll knock on his door, shuffle in with her head down like when she's embarrassed, and she'll speak softly.

But he's wrong.

Ino almost breaks through the door and launches herself at Shikamaru. He hardly registers her tear streaked face, stained with streams of slipping makeup, before he's tackled. Shikamaru catches her in surprise, slowly wrapping his arms so they encircle her waist.

For quite some time, neither of them speak at all. The tears from Ino's cheek are pressed into Shikamaru's neck, eyeliner and mascara making dripping marks on his skin too. She's shaking so badly that Shikamaru tangles one of his hands into her muddled hair in order to help calm her. He recalls how much that had helped whenever she was upset before.

"Ino, what happened?" He quietly whispers into her temple.

Ino laughs bitterly, clutching the back of his shirt and then releasing it.

"Nothing, really," she answers. "I mean, I fought with my parents but what's new? I just…" she trails off for a few seconds. "I just couldn't take it anymore. I broke."

"Couldn't take what?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't," Shikamaru replies.

"Being without you."

Ino sounds inconceivably guilty about her words.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Shikamaru," she goes on, fresh tears pouring out of her eyes.

"You can't just blame yourself," Shikamaru responds slowly. "I'm at fault too. I overreacted. I should've gone after you."

They make eye contact and Shikamaru swears that something in his gut nearly pulls him under. He almost doesn't believe what's happening in front of him.

"I guess we're both kind of stupid then," Ino blandly states.

Shikamaru looks down at her, a smirk playing at his lips.

"You a little more than me though," he teases lightly, attempting to ease the regretful mood.

She gives him a soft punch but they're still in a loose embrace.

"I was miserable without you," Ino continues. "I don't know why but I just didn't want to hurt my pride by going back to you and it only made things so much worse."

"What about all those boyfriends?"

"Please," Ino scoffs. "Shikamaru, you're the only one that I ever considered marrying in the future because there's honestly no other fucking person who can handle me."

Shikamaru almost laughs again but refrains this time.

"Same goes for you, Ino-pig. Other women are too troublesome."

Her blonde hair is a tangled nest and her makeup looks like shit. She's wearing a T-shirt, skirt, and high heels (most likely because she couldn't find other shoes) and Shikamaru still thinks she's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

He takes her to his bed, removing her heels from her feet, and sits her between his legs. Her trembling fully ceases.

"Does this mean-"

"I don't know, anymore," Shikamaru interrupts her. "I don't know."

There's a silence and Ino feels almost dreadfully comfortable. It's been so long since she's felt this way and it's almost too good to be true.

"Listen," she says. "If we can just stay like this tonight, I promise I'll bang you tomorrow, okay?"

Shikamaru abruptly shifts her so their eyes meet.

"Is that what you think I care about?" He darkly asks.

Ino rolls her eyes.

"Isn't that what every guy cares about?"

"Okay, yes I do, but Ino," Shikamaru almost hisses. "I didn't date you to just bang. Okay? I actually loved you."

Ino's eyes are watering and her lip quivers.

"I know that, Shika," she answers. "I just don't know about now."

Shikamaru bitterly laughs and pulls her back into his chest, resting his head on hers so she can't see his tears.

"Ino, I still love you," he brokenly says. "And I probably always will. I'm not asking you to love me."

Ino shifts again.

"There's a reason I'm here, dumbass," she immediately retorts. "Don't get confused."

Before he can respond, she dips upwards to meet his lips passionately but it doesn't last quite as long as either of them thinks.

"You asshole," she says, wiping her lips. "You've been smoking again."

Shikamaru smirks without a response.

He doesn't think he'll be smoking for a while.

.

.

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Author's Note: I've been craving a ShikaIno one-shot for a really long time. Like, you don't even know. So, review and stuff guys. Tell me what you liked;) (or didn't). It's pretty short and I think I got a little lazy.