One day as Killian trims his beard, a few wrinkles around the eyes catch his attention. He doesn't remember having that many there.

He raises his eyebrows. The ones on his forehead are definitely easier to see.

He scrunches his eyes. Oh, bloody hell.

He smiles, raising his cheekbones and narrowing his eyes. He thinks about how more often that happens now, before he focuses back on the wrinkles.

He's getting old.

It surprises him a little. Having spent so long in Neverland, years having gone by without any wear on his body, seeing new wrinkles now - did he just spot a grey hair? - seems to have that effect.

Before he can dwell on it, he hears Alice's wails from her crib. He shakes his head a little and walks to her.

"There, there," he says as he leans over her. He only just fed her and she still smells clean. She looks up at him and wails what he's learnt is her fake cry, the one she uses only when she's seeking his attention.

Needing himself to feel her touch too, he carefully picks her up and lets her head rest on his shoulder. Immediately her wailing stops as she leans on him. His hand on her back, he feels when she sighs heavily and relaxes against him. He starts walking around and hums the melody of a sea shanty, a little voice in his head telling him the lyrics aren't appropriate for her small age.

He shifts through various songs until he starts humming the Dead Horse. His mind plays the lyrics at the same time, "O poor old man" being repeated again and again inside his mind.

O poor old man, he sings aloud at the end of the song. It's then he passes in front of the mirror, spotting the wrinkles on his face… and the content, asleep infant on his shoulder, and he suddenly realizes.

He did spend so long in Neverland, but never with the intention to actually live to turn into an old man. He huffs a laugh. He barely remembers his dreams of that.

Before his mother's death, he probably dreamt she'd live long enough to see grandchildren, and even longer until he had a few of his own.

Before Liam's, he remembers something along the lines of retiring together and making their own families, their houses close enough they could walk to each other's.

Before Milah's… well, even before that point he'd started giving up on his dreams and tried to enjoy life as it came, making her happy and basking in her love.

After her, he'd found there was no point in even wanting to get to that later stage.

Alice yawns, bringing him back to the present. He rubs soft circles on her tiny back and looks at her through the mirror, smiling.

He now has a reason to keep on.

He'll get her out of this tower, show her what he's learnt in all his years, love her and be proud of her.

He'll grow old and watch her grow up.

A tear slips from his eye, as he keeps rubbing softly at her back and continues humming.


Author's Note:

Originally posted on Tumblr on March 12th, 2018.

And yes it's supposed to be ironic, with the canon events following, because I like pain :)