psychoanalyze me
by: like firing


i'm battling monsters,
i'm pulling you out of the burning buildings and you say 'i'll give you anything'
but you never come through

richard siken —


Can you breathe right now? I'm assuming not, my hands are around your throat and I can feel your breathing slow down. Where there was once warm breath is now some kind of empty cold. I touch your pulse. You're alive. I hate you.

I can't do it again. I hate you but I hate myself more. I want to save you but I cannot. I need those earrings, I take them. I need to kill you, I take you home.

The other Miraculous sits on my bedside table black as Hell. It glows when yours reaches it, attracted, mine dulling. I glare at you lying across my stark clean covers, almost purifying them. I remove you.

I cannot do this. I must do this. I need to do this; my father let himself get destroyed, my mother did as well. Not me, I won't. I am so strong right now and I need to kill you and I hate myself for this. For loving you. It should have been someone else. Why you?

I need to open the box so I do. The ring glows, the earrings do as well. They spark and then meet and then fall apart and then there is nothing. And then there is everything.

Any wish.

Anything?

Don't do this, Adrien.

What must I give?

Your soul. Don't do this.

Dark wings, rise!

Marinette. One who rises, after everything. Maybe I am the one who has finally silenced you.

No. That blush comes back into your cheeks and you cough and you are alive and you see me and you get up and tell me. No.

It's too late. I close my eyes and wish and you fall to your knees, tears in those large beautiful eyes. I'm not sorry.

My hands reach for your throat but I cannot, this time. But I am too far gone. This time I will win.

What happened to you?

I grew up.