I don't own Inuyasha.

Chapter One: Detested

My life wasn't ever considered important to me. If anything, it was detested. Every royal family wants a son as a firstborn and because I, a girl, was born instead, I was frowned upon by everyone. My birth left my mother an invalid so there wasn't an option to try for a son. My day of birth wasn't ever celebrated and throughout the village, it was a day of loss - for the boy they could've had, if not for my interference.

And I believed them. It was my fault I was born. Looking back, I believe the only people who really tried (in the least) to care were my mother and my nanny.

I was disobedient and I was rash. I didn't think about was I was going to do or say - I just did it. I was despised by my governess, for she believed that being born a girl firstborn in a royal family was a sin, and that I was mischievous was something that told her I was to be punished for my mistakes.

In my eight years of life, I'd never been given a gift. I was alive but invisible. To speak only when spoken to. I was given the best education only to be out of sight of my father. Proper and graceful and resigned was how I was taught to be.

By the time I was eleven, on my way to finishing school, I was noticing more and more attention from the boys around the village. I was flattered, of course, that anyone would show any attention to me, no matter what the reason, but something so illogical never meant anything to me.

How I longed to laugh! How I longed to be happy! The silly bedtime stories my nanny read to me about love and smiles and laughter seemed childish and unreal. I was holding the mind of a woman by the time I was thirteen. Life had no point. In my world, it was the circle of death. You're born, you live, you die. Laughter and happiness was a fable; it was a lie. There was no point to why I was even alive.

During finishing school I was best at dancing, playing the piano, and singing. My English and French were practiced to perfection. The time went by faster than I would've thought, and when I reached the age of sixteen, I finished the rest of my semester and returned to the village.


"How was school, daughter?" The King turned to me. He'd said 'daughter' like it was poison.

"It was..." I hesitated. "Different," I finished. When the King didn't say anything more to me, I returned to eating the food in front of me. No one spoke for the rest of the meal which was annoying. What did I do? What did I do to deserve this unfairness? I wanted to scream at the King who hated to admit I was his offspring. I wanted to run from my numb state I was absorbed in. This was a prison. And I was trapped.

We supped and afterwards I made my way up the staircase, my left hand gripping the banister. I hoped someone would see and acknowledge the fact that I wasn't useless anymore, preferably someone like my father or mother. When I got up the winding staircase that led to my room, I paused when I opened the door. I heard the King's loud, booming voice from below.

"Well, we won't have any trouble finding a suitable match for her, at least." I frowned. So I was supposed to be shipped off and married? Indeed.

"She is the heir, after all," my mother's soft voice was hard to hear from this height. I sighed. The man was to come here.

A new feeling erupted in me then. It was anger. I was angered that they'd decided to be the ones to pick out my husband. I wanted to feel the emotion of love. All my life hatred, anger, and gloom was all I knew of.

When my parents left the kitchen I opened my door and went in. I ran straight to the books in my closet of Romeo and Juliet, of A Midsummer Night's Dream. The tragic love stories of Shakespeare - I read them all - before falling asleep exhausted.


When I woke up I rang the bell on the side of my bed and exactly one minute later, a maid came in.

She rushed over to the fire, muttering an apology that she'd 'forgotten' to put a fire in the fireplace last night. I knew she didn't forget, but I accepted her apology with all the grace I could.

The maid shuffled me over behind the screen and undressed me. She mumbled something like, "You're father bought a new dress for you to try on, from London." The maid pulled out a box from inside my closet and set it on the bed. She lifted the top of it off and murmured a form of admiration at the creation. I agreed fervently. The dress was a pure green color, like my eyes. It was a low cut, but only to show a respectable amount of cleavage and it flowed out when it hit the waist. It went to mid-sleeve and it had small ruffles along the end of the sleeves. The bodice was crossed with white lace and a white crone[kerown], which is a type of fashionable bonnet, except it only covers half of your head.

The maid laced up my corset and fit the dress on. Hesitantly, the maid praised the way it looked on me. "It makes your eyes sparkle wonderfully," she said softly. I could see by the look on her face that she didn't want to praise me. Me, a blueblooded female. I smiled back at her faintly.

"Thank you." I twirled in the mirror. But it was true. My eyes glowed. I wasn't wearing the crone because it wasn't essential to do so in Ierronet[iron-ay]. My hair was fashioned down in ringlets that cascaded down my shoulders to my mid-stomach. My hair was dark - almost black. I got his from the King who had extraordinarily black hair, which my mother had a golden brown color. In the sun, you could see the gold-ish copper colored highlights of her hair in mine.

My face was heart-shaped with quite pale skin. My nose was small and slightly turned up... somewhat button-like. My eyes were almond-shaped and were framed with long, thick dark lashes. My eyebrows were dark and had a well-defined arch. My lips were a light cherry pink while my teeth were shockingly white and straight (compared to others).

I inherited my highlights, eye color, and good-looks from my mother while the King had only given me his dark coloring.

I wasn't what you would call pretty. But I knew there was something in my face that was beautifully captivating. I wasn't like any of those 'fair maidens' and all boys -and girls- knew it. The men were entranced by it while girls were enraged with jealousy by it. I could see it on their faces as I went to church that morning. All of them thinking, 'But she's a firstborn!' I could feel them with their spitting anger at me, and all I wanted to do was disappear from them. I know they hate me, but it wasn't as if I love them either.

My face was what my mother had called naive, innocent, and gorgeous. I asked her what that meant and she replied with 'something way beyond beautiful.' I couldn't exactly imagine that, but I accepted her praise. I had a love for life, she said. I wanted to laugh at her for that, but I couldn't. How could I love life when all I've ever held or felt was hatred?

I sat through church, listening to the sermon unconsciously. Normally I drift off when the talking starts. I don't like listening to nonsense. God loves everyone? I knew for a fact everyone hates me.

The singing part was the only fun I had during church. My voice was a steady and unique one, and like everything, my mamma told me it had charm.

We made our way to our carriage in silence and there was no conversation on the way back to Vedile[veh-deal-ay] Hall. I stared out the window, watching the vineyards and pastures go by. Back at home we ate out luncheon. This was done very quietly, and all you could hear was the spoon against the cup while stirring tea.

Finally I was excused to go to my room. I hated silence. Becoming bored with myself, I rang the bell beside my bed. The maid appeared flushed in my room. I told her:

"Go and fetch my riding habit, please. I would like to go out before the evening service."

"Yes'm," she replied, and left to get the clothes from my closet. She came back fairly quickly and I walked behind the screen so she could dress me.

It was a light blue habit which fit my small figure perfectly. After she'd piled my hair atop my head in clips I made my way down to the stables, but not forgetting to bring the matching blue hat so the sun wouldn't get in my eyes.

I told the stable boy closest to me to fix my horse for a ride. He complied and brought the horse out of the stone stable. I grabbed the bridle and when the boy offered me his knee to climb onto the horse I declined.

"Thank you, but I think I'm going to walk a bit first." I acknowledged the stable boy, smiling. He blinked several times before going back into the stables.

"No-no problem, miss," He stumbled away.

I sighed into the fresh air and walked away from the stables and over the grassy meadow to the forest trail. I looked around before getting on my horse. I hated the side-saddle I was supposed to do, being 'proper'; so that's why I have to make sure no one sees me get on, or they would say something to reprove me.

I rolled my eyes at the thought and flicked the bridle. My brown mare sated an even trot though the brush, then as I squeezed on its sides, it started a canter.

Finally, I came to the peaceful meadow I always used to go to when I was young. I breathed in the untouched air and closed my eyes after bringing my horse to a stop on a hill. This was really the only thing I cared about. A meadow.

I looked over the hill to the sea and tied my horse to a branch on the closest tree near the wood. He whinnied in protest but obeyed when I patted him.

After making sure my knots stayed when I pulled I walked back to the highest part on the hill and closed my eyes while I laid down on my back. I could feel the heat of the sun on my eyelids, my fingers, my lips, my cheeks...

This place was my refuge, my escape of my never-yielding prison.

Suddenly I could sense a presence so I opened my eyes with a start. Big, amber eyes stared back at me. I yelped and scrambled back. He also looked somewhat shaken by my movements and immediately apologized, going to his feet.

"It's alright," I told him, hearing my heart pound though my chest. Then I frowned as I got up. "Why are you here?" I didn't know of anyone who knew of this place and took advantage of it.

"Well, I was sitting at the bottom of this hill watching the ocean when I heard your horse." His eyes flickered to the mare, then back at me. My breath caught in my throat as we stared at each other evenly. His amber-coloured eyes were penetrating and I didn't want to be the one to look away.

After a moment I gave up and looked away. "Oh," I murmured and then, "do you come from around here?"

I think he noticed something about my proper English, but he didn't stop staring. It was rude to stare at royalty, but I suspected he was thinking like everyone else. I shouldn't be treated like other royalty. To my surprise and-although I don't like to admit it-relief, he smiled and nodded his head.

"Yes. I work for a daimyo in the village." I looked down, unable to look at him. He worked for the heads of nobles. I didn't understand why, but a feeling of disappointment flooded through me. "What is your name?" I inquired.

He hesitated. "Inuyasha. Yours...?"

It was my turn to pause. "Er-you don't know?" He shook his head. "It's Kagome." Then I wished I hadn't told him, because recognition shone in his eyes.

"Oh," he said, meeting my stare. I looked away, flustered.

I was desperate to get rid of the quiet. "How do you know of this place?" I asked.

"I stumbled upon it once," Inuyasha said slowly, untrusting. Surprise ran across his features as he saw me slump and sit cross-legged in the tall grass.

"I see," I replied nonchalantly.

After a moment he blurted, "Why are you talking to me?"

I looked up at him. "Why not?"

That caught him off guard. "You're... Princess... Kagome," Inuyasha eyed me warily.

"Yes," I answered.

He was unruffled, though. "A princess." He lifted one of his brows in disbelief.

"And...?" I proposed.

"Royalty doesn't... chat... with servants!" He didn't look ashamed about what he said, and I smiled.

"Oh, I didn't know that."

He looked at me, now both his eyebrows raised. "Sure..." Then it looked like he made up his mind because he plopped down next to me.

He looked troubled. "Why?" He asked me, and I feigned innocence.

"Why... what?"

"Why... are you talking to me?" His voice faded out on the last word, and I sighed.

I looked out to the ocean. "I don't like to be hated..." I moved my eyes back to him hesitantly. He was going to laugh. I knew it. He was going to...

But when I looked at his face, searching for the disgusting reaction to my words, it seemed as though he must have good composure because his face was calm, other than the ever-raised brow.

"And everyone hates me," I finished. I got up and untied my horse. I hopped up onto him in one swift movement. Split-legged, the way I like. He stared after me, his mouth agape, and I smiled softly. "Good afternoon." I squeezed on my horses sides, and it immediately went into a canter, away from the boy.

When I came out of the forest I put my horse into a walk so I could swing my legs to side-saddle position.

A stable boy was running to me. "Miss, you best be gettin' back insides, 'cause the mater is throwin' a bit of a fit, sees."

I smiled slowly and acknowledged the news. 'A bit of a fit' was always an understatement. Brilliant.

I galloped to the stables, making my hair most untidy. When I got there, I remembered that the King was mad, inside, waiting. To my surprise and embarrassment, I was thinking of the boy I met in the meadow. His name was Inuyasha. That's an uncommon name, but then so is mine. Kagome. They probably named me that because they didn't want anyone else to have to endure sharing the same name as a female firstborn!

What an ugly name.

A stable boy took my horse in and I made my way into the house, waving off the guards. "It's me," I said, and, as to be expected, their frowns deepened, making lines cross on their foreheads.

They opened the door for me grudgingly, and I sighed as I made my way inside. Picking up my dress, I ran up the stairs to the King's chamber. I knocked apprehensively on the door.

Please don't let him be there, please don't let him be there, please don't let him be there... I thought continuously. Of course it was a vain hope. A muffled, "Come in," was heard from the other side.

I exhaled and made my way inside his room. The King was at his desk, papers set about everywhere. After a moment of waiting, I was getting somewhat impatient. Where was the madness? What did he want?

"You... wanted to see me?" I encouraged.

"Yes." Was his immediate reply.

"... Why?"

"Why," he used my impatient tone, mimicking me as he continued, "Did you leave the house without my permission?"

I fumed. "Am I to be a dog kept on a leash?" I was near to yelling at him. "Am I?"

He calmly held up his hand. I stopped mid-sentence and he spoke, "Get a hold of yourself, Kah-go-mey." I cast my eyes to the floor. I suppose I was being unfair, but right as I thought the word, I stopped that train of thought. Fair? Nothing was fair. I locked my eyes on his.

"Go on."

"Well," he started, unfazed by my directness, "I was meaning for you to see some men today." I could feel my cheeks turning pink and I rolled my eyes. "So am I to be sold off to a stranger? Please, father." I winced at the word. "You've gone to be quite funny."

He frowned. "I am not being funny." I smiled.

"Then you must be mistaken. I shall choose my own husband."

The King smirked. "How are you to do that?"

I was sure. "I am going to fall in love." My eyes were sparkling, I could tell.

I wasn't prepared for his laugh though. It was a big, booming guffaw that echoed throughout the chamber. When he saw the smile wash off my face, his smirk became more pronounced. "Why, love, dear?"

I flinched slightly, but nodded. "LOVE!" He yelled, then guffawed again. "You will do what I want."

"No." I was firm. He stood up so fast I couldn't process what was happening 'til it was over. I touched my hand to my cheek. It burned, stinging my face. Tears stung in my eyes as he sat back down to his papers.

"Love, woman, does not exist."

I could believe that from him.

I was so relieved to be able to go that I ran. He took away my pride. I hated him! Oh, I hated him and everyone else! I flew to my room and locked it behind me. I could feel the tears chocking me in my throat, stinging my eyes. But they wouldn't ever come.

No matter how I tried, I couldn't feel sorry enough for myself to cry. So I never cried. I couldn't. My emotions weren't there. They were invisible.

Just like me.