Set in my own alternate universe, Keiko finally makes a decision. One
that would change the course of her life.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Lost in Love - Keiko Yukimura
A Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic by W. Siew Lee
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Aku seperti seekor burung kenari,
Berterbangan ke sini sana mencari jalan pulang,
Apakah dosa yang ku lakukan sehingga hidupku dalam kesengsaraan?
Di manakah kebenaran mutlak yang ku carikan?
Aku hanyalah seekor burung kenari,
Yang mencari jalan pulang,
Walaupun aku tahu jalan itu sudahpun lenyap...
*I'm like a canary lost in the wild,
Flying high and low searching for the path home,
What sins have I done to bestow this pain?
Where is the ultimate truth that I yearned for?
To me, I'll be like the canary,
Searching for its way back,
Although failing miserably for the path has vanished... *
Keiko sighed softly as she read the verse that she held in her
hands. There was a stinging sensation in her eyes but she quickly
reached up to wipe away those tears. *Is love really that painful?*
she asked herself softly.
There were shockingly familiar words in the verse, as if the
verse itself was pointing at her. The canary was like herself,
searching for the truth, but when would the truth be visible to her?
Like the canary, she had lost her path of life.
Like the canary, she was still looking for her way back home.
Her fingers were slightly trembling when she rolled the
magazine up. It was a literature based magazine with original and
translated works from all over the world. Keiko always loved looking
at those works of humans deep in love, deep in hatred, or perhaps
deep in pain. They were so realistic, in a way, that she would find
it chillingly familiar.
Perhaps all humans are the same. All humans are made of flesh
and blood. Perhaps all humans would feel the same under an identical
set of circumstances.
What did she feel now? Her heart was just a swirling nebula
filled with different sensations.
Maybe pain?
Grief?
Loss?
Love?
Slowly, she unrolled the magazine again and looked at the
verse. The author had left the verse unfinished and hanging there.
What did she mean? Keiko looked at the name and the country of
origin. *Malaysia...* she whispered softly. The verse was there,
leaving readers wondering about the fate of the canary.
Perhaps she was right. There was no ending to the canary's
search.
Like herself. She couldn't even define her target now. What was
she actually searching for?
*Yusuke Urameshi, where are you?*
With a soft sigh, Keiko leaned back into her armchair. Closing
her deep brown eyes, she began reminiscing all those years she spent
with *him*. When was it she last saw him?
Two years? Three years?
It had been too long now. Simply too long.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
14 years ago...
She looked at him. He was just a kid, as was she herself. It
was the first day of elementary school and the class was filled with
loud sounds such as children crying and screaming voices. Most
parents were saying goodbye to their children as they prepared to
leave for work and little tear-streaked faces were everywhere.
But he didn't cry.
Keiko looked at her mother who was smiling and laughing with
her teacher. Well, she had her kaasan today, but what about that boy?
He was alone, sitting there, brooding. There wasn't anyone with him
at the moment, there was just him. Keiko watched with interest as he
took out his plastic pencil box and removed a stubby pencil from it.
The girl gasped as the boy began drawing and scribbling on those
boring wooden desks.
Still awed at the boldness of the boy, Keiko stood up and left
her place. She walked over to the corner where the boy was sitting
and stood there, looking at those stick-people pictures he doodled.
Slowly, he became aware that someone was watching him. He
lifted up an eye and stared at her strangely. "What do you want?" he
growled.
Keiko simply shrugged and took her place next to him. "Nothing,
I just want to see what you are drawing," answered the girl amusedly.
He snorted and resumed drawing his fantastic pieces of art
idly.
"What is your name? My name is Keiko Yukimura," began Keiko.
"Huh! Why should I tell you?" challenged the boy and stopped
drawing. He turned around to face Keiko, eyeing her mysteriously.
Keiko gritted her teeth and stood up to leave, plainly irritated by
his rude attitude.
"Alright, no need to get so angry, right? People call me
Urameshi, but you can call me Yusuke if you like..." said the boy
quickly and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked at her and
gestured for her to sit down again.
"Well... I don't think it's very nice to draw on things. Kaasan
always tells me not to scribble on tables, chairs or walls," began
Keiko slowly. "Where's your kaasan? Why are you alone?"
"Huh! Don't talk about ofukuro. She is still drunk at home. She
doesn't care about me so why should I care about her? I'm happy
here," snapped Yusuke angrily.
"Yusuke-kun, it is not nice to say such things about your
kaasan. Where is your tousan then?" asked Keiko.
"I have no tousan, okay? I also have no friends so stop
bothering me."
Keiko kept quiet. No wonder the boy seemed so lonely and quiet.
Perhaps there was a slight hint of anti-social behavior in him, but
Keiko shrugged it off simply.
"I'll be your friend," pledged Keiko innocently, her brown eyes
twinkling merrily. "If no-one is your friend, I'll be your friend,"
continued the young girl.
"Whatever," snorted Yusuke and resumed drawing on the desk.
Keiko shook her head at the boy. *What a classmate to have!*
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Four years ago...
"Whew! That was close! Heh! Mr Tanaka's expression was
priceless when I told him that he looked like a frog with
spectacles!" sighed Yusuke and leaned back on an old armchair lying
in the secluded woodwork lab. Languidly, he placed his legs up on the
teacher's table. "Such a nice place, this area... No pesky
teachers... Heck! This is even better than the city park where Keiko
and I always have our picnics!" he complimented the lab a little with
a laugh.
He glanced around the closed space. Air ventilators were placed
on top the windows and slender rays of sunshine poked through the
spaces of the wire-net. The woodwork lab was located in a far corner
of the school compound. During weekdays, it was usually full of
students milling around, getting their wooden projects done.
But then again, it was a Saturday evening. Even the sidewalks
were deserted, so was the nearest block of the school building.
Yusuke stifled a yawn and sighed contentedly to the quiet atmosphere.
All the glass windows were tightly shut and only the ceiling fan was
whirling slowly.
"Yusuke, Mr Tanaka sent us here to complete our work, not to
relax and fool around!" chided Keiko and closed the door shut. She
walked over and sat down on a wooden chair just opposite from Yusuke.
The boy ran his fingers through his slicked back hair and put his
legs down on the floor. "Yeah, thanks to that Tanaka and I'm stuck
here," grumbled Yusuke and leaned forward.
"Well, I should be the one complaining, not you," answered
Keiko, shifting the papers around. "You are the one who needs to have
someone to guide you with your Chemistry project, not me. You are the
one who is always irritating sensei until he sends you here, not me."
"Yeah, yeah, I know Mr Tanaka sees me as an eyesore so much
that he would gladly get rid of me by sending me here with you,"
grumbled Yusuke and rolled his eyes, but deep inside, he was
secretly pleased with the teacher's idea.
"So? Is it so difficult to stay here and do your work?" shot
back Keiko and motioned for Yusuke to sit next to her. The boy then
grumbled something about stupid teachers and wheeled his movable
armchair next to the girl.
Yusuke yawned again. "Keiko, why must we go to school?" he
asked idly as Keiko began punching her calculator based on the
questions set in front of her.
"Why? Simply because we will get a better living in the
future," answered the girl simply and wrote the figure on the
machine's screen onto her answer sheet.
"Heh! I wonder why ofukuro always gets enough money to send me
to school," mused Yusuke. He took the mechanical pencil from Keiko's
hands and began scribbling on the table. "Better living? My mom
doesn't even work, for heaven's sake! She is always drunk at home."
"Yusuke, you never get rid of your old habits," sighed Keiko
and tried to grab the pencil from the boy's strong grip. "From the
first day of elementary school, I have seen you drawing things on
school's property."
"Yeah, so? It is not that Mr Tanaka will suddenly walk in and
drag me to the headmaster's office," shrugged off Yusuke and
automatically stopped doodling. He smiled at Keiko and watched her
reaction. Keiko shook her head and Yusuke studied her face. The soft
whirl of the ceiling fan blew at strands of her hair and her fair
complexion that complimented her dark eyes caught his attention. *Why
haven't I noticed how cute and pretty Keiko actually is? It's
strange... I have faced or many enemies such as the Toguro brothers
before yet I never felt my heart beating faster. Is it fear this time
so is it something else?* whispered Yusuke silently as he looked at
the girl. She had changed so much physically over these years and she
had a much fuller figure now but she still had that determined look
on her face. Yusuke snickered and thought, *Keiko 'is' a determined
girl.*
"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked Keiko strangely
and blinked once.
"You are very pretty today," said Yusuke in a huff. Keiko
rolled her eyes and dismissed it with a wave. "You are still bent on
teasing me like that," retorted Keiko.
"You know something, I have never kissed a girl before... Maybe
because I don't want to catch germs or other stupid diseases,"
laughed Yusuke and stared into her eyes playfully. *Damn! Why am I
telling her all this things?! Stop it, Urameshi!*
"Heh! You know pretty well no girls would want to kiss you,"
teased Keiko and placed the mechanical pencil on the table.
"Have you kissed any boy before?" asked Yusuke innocently and
leaned back on his armchair again, feeling his heart beating faster
again.
"Well, no..." voiced out Keiko slowly, a blush creeping
steadily into her cheeks. She looked away but her intuition told her
to return Yusuke's stare.
Slowly, she turned her head to look into Yusuke's deep eyes.
"What is the matter?"
"I... er... I just want to know the sensation," whispered
Yusuke in a near-inaudible tone. "Don't get me wrong, Keiko, I just
want to ask that question for fun." Yusuke nearly slapped himself
for saying such a stupid thing, but he stopped himself to wait for
Keiko's answer.
"Well, if you really want to try..." began Keiko slowly, her
cheeks burning. "I..."
"Really?" asked Yusuke gently. "Actually, it isn't our first
time... Remember when you kissed me to breathe life into me?"
"That doesn't really count," countered Keiko and looked down at
her fidgeting fingers. "That was under extreme conditions..."
"Thank you," said Yusuke and leaned forward. Keiko closed her
eyes and waited. Gently, as if fearing to touch the girl, Yusuke
kissed her cheek softly.
"Is it just that? You have nice lips..." commented Keiko
softly, a tinge of disappointment showing in her voice. Yusuke looked
at her cheek quizzically, his eyes questioning her.
"Then...?"
Keiko drew closer. "Kiss me if you dare," she whispered and her
cheeks flushed an even brighter shade of pink. Yusuke was stunned,
but he proceeded to wrap his arms around her lithe body. Slowly, he
moved his face closer to the girl's. Keiko closed her eyes and
waited.
Yusuke edged closer, but he was afraid to go anymore. *C'mon...
Urameshi, what has gotten into you today? Because of your own big
mouth you have asked Keiko about a kiss... Fine, if you don't kiss
her now, you are going to be out of her life forever!* Yusuke scolded
himself. Finally, he took a deep breath and moved forward until he
was just inches away from her face.
Tentatively, he pressed his lips onto her pink ones.
Yusuke winced slightly when Keiko's arms wrapped around his
body. After years and years of getting involved in street fights, he
couldn't get past without such reaction at any touch. He savored the
salty-sweet tang on her lips as their kiss went deeper and deeper.
Carefully, he licked her teeth with his tongue, bringing another new
sensation down his spine.
Keiko shivered at the feeling of Yusuke's tongue. *It feels
cold...* whispered Keiko in her heart but she kept quiet as she
pulled the boy closer to her.
Gradually, the couple parted, slightly out of breath.
"Thanks, Keiko," said Yusuke and a slight shade of red crept
onto his cheeks. Keiko stood up and took Yusuke by his arms. "Thank
you too, you are so nice to me," whispered Keiko and hugged him, his
warm body now so close to hers'.
"Heh! I just wanted to know the feeling, so don't get me
wrong," laughed Yusuke but he still held Keiko's body in his arms.
"I want to feel it one more ti..." requested Keiko softly,
her cheeks flaming as she tried to hide her face in Yusuke's
shoulder. Before she could finish the sentence, she found a pair of
silky soft lips sealed over her own.
Like a dream, they found themselves floating in and out of
reality. Like vines, they entwined themselves with each other,
sharing a simple kiss.
So simple, yet so enchanting.
Slowly, the couple parted, but Keiko still hugged the boy
tightly. Yusuke placed a protective arm around her shoulders. "I know
you will be mine one day. I know it... I don't know what to say
anymore..." stammered Yusuke, breathing in the sweet scent of her
fine hair.
"Yusuke, words are not important to us. You are important to
me, that's all," whispered Keiko, secretly smiling in her heart.
*Still so immature... Still so young... Yusuke, you never change. You
never got used to saying such things. You are still the person I
like and at least you are sincere to me. I trust you to like me too.*
"Ai... Aishiteru, Keiko," gushed out Yusuke, his voice
trembling. Almost angrily, he shouted at himself mentally. *What is
wrong with you, Urameshi? You are nuts to say this to her!*
Just then, the door opened with a creak and the couple broke
apart. A head poked in and Yusuke blinked at the human. It was
Kazuma Kuwabara.
Keiko was blushing fierily and she bent her head down at the
sight of Yusuke's best friend and enemy. Kuwabara scratched his head
and stared at them. Urameshi was coughing and clearing his throat
while pulling at his uniform collar.
"Have the both of you finished your projects? Mr Tanaka asked
me to check on you both," said Kuwabara and raised a quizzical
eyebrow. *Why the hell is Yusuke looking uncomfortable and that girl
blushing bright red? Yes, of course! I know that Urameshi is
always...* thought Kuwabara craftily and touched his chin.
"Er, no..." answered Keiko quickly and walked over to the desk
again and picked up the pen. "Just a few more lines and we are done."
"Alright then, Mr Tanaka said that the extra class will end in
half an hour's time and he wants you guys to go over there," informed
Kuwabara. "For now, enjoy your time!" laughed Kuwabara evilly and
went out, closing the door as he stepped out of the lab.
"Stupid Kuwabara!" cursed Yusuke and glared daggers at the
closed door. *Just right on time to spoil the air around...*
"Yusuke, c'mon... We need to finish up the project," began
Keiko weakly and smiled a little when Yusuke finally nodded. He
heaved a big sigh and flopped down on his place.
"Keiko, if I ever leave this place, will you follow me?"
asked Yusuke suddenly, his face suddenly darkened. His eyes were
shadowed with doubt and questions, making Keiko look up at him
instantly.
"If... Yes, I will," pledged Keiko with a smile. Yusuke
smiled back at her and nodded once.
"Thank you."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
That was four years ago, but it only seemed like yesterday.
Yesterday was sweet, but today was bitter. Tomorrow? Keiko bit her
lower lip, no-one knew what would happen tomorrow. Her fist clenched
around the magazine tightly, wrinkling it.
Yusuke's last words were crystal clear on that fateful day.
["Keiko, I'm sorry."]
That day was a sunny and bright noon, but she felt the total
opposite.
A tear rolled down her face slowly. Those words echoed and
thundered in her ears endlessly. He was long gone, but his words
remained. Keiko stood there numbly, unable to say anything.
More tears followed but there was not a single sound from the
girl. For her, she had lost the track of time. There was no more
difference between a minute and an hour. To her, each was filled with
pain and remorse. The sun was starting to set, but she was unable to
move from her position, almost as if she was rooted there.
She couldn't believe it. Yusuke was gone, once again. He told
her not to wait for him. Why? He refused to tell her the reason.
What had he told her?
Another teardrop rolled down her cheeks.
He told her that they were not compatible with each other. He
told her that he was not fit for her. He told her to find another
man that would be able to love her truly and deeply. He told he
wouldn't be able to live anymore.
"Yusuke Urameshi! How could you say this to me?!" screamed
Keiko and buried her face in her palms, sobbing uncontrollably. How
could he hurt her like this?
She was lost like the canary, no path to follow, no way to
go. Images of Yusuke's expression that day flashed past her mind
quickly. He was still smiling, but Keiko knew that smile too well.
His was a fake smile, a smile full of gray emotions.
*Yusuke is hiding something,* whispered Keiko deep in her
heart. Until now, she was still thinking about Yusuke's actions
that day. The way he spoke... It was unnatural.
"Keiko!"
Keiko stood up immediately, her eyes looking out to the road
below her window. "Yusuke?" shouted Keiko, both of her eyes searching
frantically but they met on a single form of a young man.
"Keiko-san, it's me, Kaguya!" replied the young man, waving his
hand at her. With a heavy sigh, Keiko waved back at him and quickly
wiped away the tear streaks on her face with the back of her hand.
Leaving the magazine on her desk, she ran down to meet Kaguya.
"Hello, Keiko-san," greeted the young man politely and smiled
at her.
Keiko nodded once. "Why are you here?"
"Have you forgotten? You promised to go with me to a movie
tonight! It's already five in the evening and I thought we might have
time to stop for dinner before going to the cinema. Besides, we can
go to the city park afterwards to spend some time," offered the young
man as he flashed the two tickets in front of her face. "You know, we
have been dating so many times now and we haven't tried anything..."
Suddenly, Keiko felt sick and disgusted at herself. What was
she trying to do? Find a replacement for Yusuke? Find someone to go
with her to the city park! No, no-one could ever replace Yusuke in
her heart. From that very moment, she knew that she would be waiting
for him.
"Sorry, no... I... I am not feeling very well today... Sorry,"
apologized Keiko and turned away. Kaguya shouted after her but she
didn't hear anything.
There was one thought in her mind: Yusuke Urameshi.
Gradually, those fast steps turned into a stride. Before long,
Keiko was running down the street, heading for the city park.
The sun had began to set, its soft rays coloring the lake and
low lying clouds brilliant shades of red and violet. Keiko leaned
forward on the metal railings, her eyes looking far out across.
Quickly, she dug in the pockets of her jeans for a pen and a piece of
paper.
Word by word, she wrote out the ending to the verse.
*After searching far and wide,
The canary finally found its way home,
Home was with it all along,
Except it failed to recognize the path before;
Like the canary, I pursued for the truth,
But I found it nowhere other than in my very heart,
Like the canary,
I finally found the way home at last...*
Folding the verse with deft fingers, Keiko threw it high up in
the air. A smile lit up her face as the gentle breeze blew it towards
the middle of the lake. "Yusuke, I'll wait for you no matter what it
takes..." yelled Keiko, her voice trembling with emotion.
Slower and slower, it floated down and finally rested on the
face of the water. Inch by inch, it began to sink into the lake.
"Yusuke, I promise, I'll wait for you... I promise."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's notes:
This fanfic is dedicated to two of my dearest friends in this world.
The first is Ai-chan, who has been so supportive of me when I lost my
way like the canary in this fic. You are like a sister to me who I
never have.
Next is to the one I like a lot. One that cheered me up when I was
hurt, one that stood up for me when I was bullied. I could only say
this to you: aishiteru. We will remain best of friends forever and
you will be a very special friend to me. I promise.
Love,
Siew Lee
Copyright reserved 1999, 2000 W. Siew Lee
All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic. The
*sajak* in Malay belongs to me, so does the translation.
E-mail: Siew Lee [wsiewlee@tm.net.my]
URL: http://www.rurouni.org/dreams
UIN: #14025577
---------------------------------------------------------------------
that would change the course of her life.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Lost in Love - Keiko Yukimura
A Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic by W. Siew Lee
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Aku seperti seekor burung kenari,
Berterbangan ke sini sana mencari jalan pulang,
Apakah dosa yang ku lakukan sehingga hidupku dalam kesengsaraan?
Di manakah kebenaran mutlak yang ku carikan?
Aku hanyalah seekor burung kenari,
Yang mencari jalan pulang,
Walaupun aku tahu jalan itu sudahpun lenyap...
*I'm like a canary lost in the wild,
Flying high and low searching for the path home,
What sins have I done to bestow this pain?
Where is the ultimate truth that I yearned for?
To me, I'll be like the canary,
Searching for its way back,
Although failing miserably for the path has vanished... *
Keiko sighed softly as she read the verse that she held in her
hands. There was a stinging sensation in her eyes but she quickly
reached up to wipe away those tears. *Is love really that painful?*
she asked herself softly.
There were shockingly familiar words in the verse, as if the
verse itself was pointing at her. The canary was like herself,
searching for the truth, but when would the truth be visible to her?
Like the canary, she had lost her path of life.
Like the canary, she was still looking for her way back home.
Her fingers were slightly trembling when she rolled the
magazine up. It was a literature based magazine with original and
translated works from all over the world. Keiko always loved looking
at those works of humans deep in love, deep in hatred, or perhaps
deep in pain. They were so realistic, in a way, that she would find
it chillingly familiar.
Perhaps all humans are the same. All humans are made of flesh
and blood. Perhaps all humans would feel the same under an identical
set of circumstances.
What did she feel now? Her heart was just a swirling nebula
filled with different sensations.
Maybe pain?
Grief?
Loss?
Love?
Slowly, she unrolled the magazine again and looked at the
verse. The author had left the verse unfinished and hanging there.
What did she mean? Keiko looked at the name and the country of
origin. *Malaysia...* she whispered softly. The verse was there,
leaving readers wondering about the fate of the canary.
Perhaps she was right. There was no ending to the canary's
search.
Like herself. She couldn't even define her target now. What was
she actually searching for?
*Yusuke Urameshi, where are you?*
With a soft sigh, Keiko leaned back into her armchair. Closing
her deep brown eyes, she began reminiscing all those years she spent
with *him*. When was it she last saw him?
Two years? Three years?
It had been too long now. Simply too long.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
14 years ago...
She looked at him. He was just a kid, as was she herself. It
was the first day of elementary school and the class was filled with
loud sounds such as children crying and screaming voices. Most
parents were saying goodbye to their children as they prepared to
leave for work and little tear-streaked faces were everywhere.
But he didn't cry.
Keiko looked at her mother who was smiling and laughing with
her teacher. Well, she had her kaasan today, but what about that boy?
He was alone, sitting there, brooding. There wasn't anyone with him
at the moment, there was just him. Keiko watched with interest as he
took out his plastic pencil box and removed a stubby pencil from it.
The girl gasped as the boy began drawing and scribbling on those
boring wooden desks.
Still awed at the boldness of the boy, Keiko stood up and left
her place. She walked over to the corner where the boy was sitting
and stood there, looking at those stick-people pictures he doodled.
Slowly, he became aware that someone was watching him. He
lifted up an eye and stared at her strangely. "What do you want?" he
growled.
Keiko simply shrugged and took her place next to him. "Nothing,
I just want to see what you are drawing," answered the girl amusedly.
He snorted and resumed drawing his fantastic pieces of art
idly.
"What is your name? My name is Keiko Yukimura," began Keiko.
"Huh! Why should I tell you?" challenged the boy and stopped
drawing. He turned around to face Keiko, eyeing her mysteriously.
Keiko gritted her teeth and stood up to leave, plainly irritated by
his rude attitude.
"Alright, no need to get so angry, right? People call me
Urameshi, but you can call me Yusuke if you like..." said the boy
quickly and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked at her and
gestured for her to sit down again.
"Well... I don't think it's very nice to draw on things. Kaasan
always tells me not to scribble on tables, chairs or walls," began
Keiko slowly. "Where's your kaasan? Why are you alone?"
"Huh! Don't talk about ofukuro. She is still drunk at home. She
doesn't care about me so why should I care about her? I'm happy
here," snapped Yusuke angrily.
"Yusuke-kun, it is not nice to say such things about your
kaasan. Where is your tousan then?" asked Keiko.
"I have no tousan, okay? I also have no friends so stop
bothering me."
Keiko kept quiet. No wonder the boy seemed so lonely and quiet.
Perhaps there was a slight hint of anti-social behavior in him, but
Keiko shrugged it off simply.
"I'll be your friend," pledged Keiko innocently, her brown eyes
twinkling merrily. "If no-one is your friend, I'll be your friend,"
continued the young girl.
"Whatever," snorted Yusuke and resumed drawing on the desk.
Keiko shook her head at the boy. *What a classmate to have!*
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Four years ago...
"Whew! That was close! Heh! Mr Tanaka's expression was
priceless when I told him that he looked like a frog with
spectacles!" sighed Yusuke and leaned back on an old armchair lying
in the secluded woodwork lab. Languidly, he placed his legs up on the
teacher's table. "Such a nice place, this area... No pesky
teachers... Heck! This is even better than the city park where Keiko
and I always have our picnics!" he complimented the lab a little with
a laugh.
He glanced around the closed space. Air ventilators were placed
on top the windows and slender rays of sunshine poked through the
spaces of the wire-net. The woodwork lab was located in a far corner
of the school compound. During weekdays, it was usually full of
students milling around, getting their wooden projects done.
But then again, it was a Saturday evening. Even the sidewalks
were deserted, so was the nearest block of the school building.
Yusuke stifled a yawn and sighed contentedly to the quiet atmosphere.
All the glass windows were tightly shut and only the ceiling fan was
whirling slowly.
"Yusuke, Mr Tanaka sent us here to complete our work, not to
relax and fool around!" chided Keiko and closed the door shut. She
walked over and sat down on a wooden chair just opposite from Yusuke.
The boy ran his fingers through his slicked back hair and put his
legs down on the floor. "Yeah, thanks to that Tanaka and I'm stuck
here," grumbled Yusuke and leaned forward.
"Well, I should be the one complaining, not you," answered
Keiko, shifting the papers around. "You are the one who needs to have
someone to guide you with your Chemistry project, not me. You are the
one who is always irritating sensei until he sends you here, not me."
"Yeah, yeah, I know Mr Tanaka sees me as an eyesore so much
that he would gladly get rid of me by sending me here with you,"
grumbled Yusuke and rolled his eyes, but deep inside, he was
secretly pleased with the teacher's idea.
"So? Is it so difficult to stay here and do your work?" shot
back Keiko and motioned for Yusuke to sit next to her. The boy then
grumbled something about stupid teachers and wheeled his movable
armchair next to the girl.
Yusuke yawned again. "Keiko, why must we go to school?" he
asked idly as Keiko began punching her calculator based on the
questions set in front of her.
"Why? Simply because we will get a better living in the
future," answered the girl simply and wrote the figure on the
machine's screen onto her answer sheet.
"Heh! I wonder why ofukuro always gets enough money to send me
to school," mused Yusuke. He took the mechanical pencil from Keiko's
hands and began scribbling on the table. "Better living? My mom
doesn't even work, for heaven's sake! She is always drunk at home."
"Yusuke, you never get rid of your old habits," sighed Keiko
and tried to grab the pencil from the boy's strong grip. "From the
first day of elementary school, I have seen you drawing things on
school's property."
"Yeah, so? It is not that Mr Tanaka will suddenly walk in and
drag me to the headmaster's office," shrugged off Yusuke and
automatically stopped doodling. He smiled at Keiko and watched her
reaction. Keiko shook her head and Yusuke studied her face. The soft
whirl of the ceiling fan blew at strands of her hair and her fair
complexion that complimented her dark eyes caught his attention. *Why
haven't I noticed how cute and pretty Keiko actually is? It's
strange... I have faced or many enemies such as the Toguro brothers
before yet I never felt my heart beating faster. Is it fear this time
so is it something else?* whispered Yusuke silently as he looked at
the girl. She had changed so much physically over these years and she
had a much fuller figure now but she still had that determined look
on her face. Yusuke snickered and thought, *Keiko 'is' a determined
girl.*
"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked Keiko strangely
and blinked once.
"You are very pretty today," said Yusuke in a huff. Keiko
rolled her eyes and dismissed it with a wave. "You are still bent on
teasing me like that," retorted Keiko.
"You know something, I have never kissed a girl before... Maybe
because I don't want to catch germs or other stupid diseases,"
laughed Yusuke and stared into her eyes playfully. *Damn! Why am I
telling her all this things?! Stop it, Urameshi!*
"Heh! You know pretty well no girls would want to kiss you,"
teased Keiko and placed the mechanical pencil on the table.
"Have you kissed any boy before?" asked Yusuke innocently and
leaned back on his armchair again, feeling his heart beating faster
again.
"Well, no..." voiced out Keiko slowly, a blush creeping
steadily into her cheeks. She looked away but her intuition told her
to return Yusuke's stare.
Slowly, she turned her head to look into Yusuke's deep eyes.
"What is the matter?"
"I... er... I just want to know the sensation," whispered
Yusuke in a near-inaudible tone. "Don't get me wrong, Keiko, I just
want to ask that question for fun." Yusuke nearly slapped himself
for saying such a stupid thing, but he stopped himself to wait for
Keiko's answer.
"Well, if you really want to try..." began Keiko slowly, her
cheeks burning. "I..."
"Really?" asked Yusuke gently. "Actually, it isn't our first
time... Remember when you kissed me to breathe life into me?"
"That doesn't really count," countered Keiko and looked down at
her fidgeting fingers. "That was under extreme conditions..."
"Thank you," said Yusuke and leaned forward. Keiko closed her
eyes and waited. Gently, as if fearing to touch the girl, Yusuke
kissed her cheek softly.
"Is it just that? You have nice lips..." commented Keiko
softly, a tinge of disappointment showing in her voice. Yusuke looked
at her cheek quizzically, his eyes questioning her.
"Then...?"
Keiko drew closer. "Kiss me if you dare," she whispered and her
cheeks flushed an even brighter shade of pink. Yusuke was stunned,
but he proceeded to wrap his arms around her lithe body. Slowly, he
moved his face closer to the girl's. Keiko closed her eyes and
waited.
Yusuke edged closer, but he was afraid to go anymore. *C'mon...
Urameshi, what has gotten into you today? Because of your own big
mouth you have asked Keiko about a kiss... Fine, if you don't kiss
her now, you are going to be out of her life forever!* Yusuke scolded
himself. Finally, he took a deep breath and moved forward until he
was just inches away from her face.
Tentatively, he pressed his lips onto her pink ones.
Yusuke winced slightly when Keiko's arms wrapped around his
body. After years and years of getting involved in street fights, he
couldn't get past without such reaction at any touch. He savored the
salty-sweet tang on her lips as their kiss went deeper and deeper.
Carefully, he licked her teeth with his tongue, bringing another new
sensation down his spine.
Keiko shivered at the feeling of Yusuke's tongue. *It feels
cold...* whispered Keiko in her heart but she kept quiet as she
pulled the boy closer to her.
Gradually, the couple parted, slightly out of breath.
"Thanks, Keiko," said Yusuke and a slight shade of red crept
onto his cheeks. Keiko stood up and took Yusuke by his arms. "Thank
you too, you are so nice to me," whispered Keiko and hugged him, his
warm body now so close to hers'.
"Heh! I just wanted to know the feeling, so don't get me
wrong," laughed Yusuke but he still held Keiko's body in his arms.
"I want to feel it one more ti..." requested Keiko softly,
her cheeks flaming as she tried to hide her face in Yusuke's
shoulder. Before she could finish the sentence, she found a pair of
silky soft lips sealed over her own.
Like a dream, they found themselves floating in and out of
reality. Like vines, they entwined themselves with each other,
sharing a simple kiss.
So simple, yet so enchanting.
Slowly, the couple parted, but Keiko still hugged the boy
tightly. Yusuke placed a protective arm around her shoulders. "I know
you will be mine one day. I know it... I don't know what to say
anymore..." stammered Yusuke, breathing in the sweet scent of her
fine hair.
"Yusuke, words are not important to us. You are important to
me, that's all," whispered Keiko, secretly smiling in her heart.
*Still so immature... Still so young... Yusuke, you never change. You
never got used to saying such things. You are still the person I
like and at least you are sincere to me. I trust you to like me too.*
"Ai... Aishiteru, Keiko," gushed out Yusuke, his voice
trembling. Almost angrily, he shouted at himself mentally. *What is
wrong with you, Urameshi? You are nuts to say this to her!*
Just then, the door opened with a creak and the couple broke
apart. A head poked in and Yusuke blinked at the human. It was
Kazuma Kuwabara.
Keiko was blushing fierily and she bent her head down at the
sight of Yusuke's best friend and enemy. Kuwabara scratched his head
and stared at them. Urameshi was coughing and clearing his throat
while pulling at his uniform collar.
"Have the both of you finished your projects? Mr Tanaka asked
me to check on you both," said Kuwabara and raised a quizzical
eyebrow. *Why the hell is Yusuke looking uncomfortable and that girl
blushing bright red? Yes, of course! I know that Urameshi is
always...* thought Kuwabara craftily and touched his chin.
"Er, no..." answered Keiko quickly and walked over to the desk
again and picked up the pen. "Just a few more lines and we are done."
"Alright then, Mr Tanaka said that the extra class will end in
half an hour's time and he wants you guys to go over there," informed
Kuwabara. "For now, enjoy your time!" laughed Kuwabara evilly and
went out, closing the door as he stepped out of the lab.
"Stupid Kuwabara!" cursed Yusuke and glared daggers at the
closed door. *Just right on time to spoil the air around...*
"Yusuke, c'mon... We need to finish up the project," began
Keiko weakly and smiled a little when Yusuke finally nodded. He
heaved a big sigh and flopped down on his place.
"Keiko, if I ever leave this place, will you follow me?"
asked Yusuke suddenly, his face suddenly darkened. His eyes were
shadowed with doubt and questions, making Keiko look up at him
instantly.
"If... Yes, I will," pledged Keiko with a smile. Yusuke
smiled back at her and nodded once.
"Thank you."
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That was four years ago, but it only seemed like yesterday.
Yesterday was sweet, but today was bitter. Tomorrow? Keiko bit her
lower lip, no-one knew what would happen tomorrow. Her fist clenched
around the magazine tightly, wrinkling it.
Yusuke's last words were crystal clear on that fateful day.
["Keiko, I'm sorry."]
That day was a sunny and bright noon, but she felt the total
opposite.
A tear rolled down her face slowly. Those words echoed and
thundered in her ears endlessly. He was long gone, but his words
remained. Keiko stood there numbly, unable to say anything.
More tears followed but there was not a single sound from the
girl. For her, she had lost the track of time. There was no more
difference between a minute and an hour. To her, each was filled with
pain and remorse. The sun was starting to set, but she was unable to
move from her position, almost as if she was rooted there.
She couldn't believe it. Yusuke was gone, once again. He told
her not to wait for him. Why? He refused to tell her the reason.
What had he told her?
Another teardrop rolled down her cheeks.
He told her that they were not compatible with each other. He
told her that he was not fit for her. He told her to find another
man that would be able to love her truly and deeply. He told he
wouldn't be able to live anymore.
"Yusuke Urameshi! How could you say this to me?!" screamed
Keiko and buried her face in her palms, sobbing uncontrollably. How
could he hurt her like this?
She was lost like the canary, no path to follow, no way to
go. Images of Yusuke's expression that day flashed past her mind
quickly. He was still smiling, but Keiko knew that smile too well.
His was a fake smile, a smile full of gray emotions.
*Yusuke is hiding something,* whispered Keiko deep in her
heart. Until now, she was still thinking about Yusuke's actions
that day. The way he spoke... It was unnatural.
"Keiko!"
Keiko stood up immediately, her eyes looking out to the road
below her window. "Yusuke?" shouted Keiko, both of her eyes searching
frantically but they met on a single form of a young man.
"Keiko-san, it's me, Kaguya!" replied the young man, waving his
hand at her. With a heavy sigh, Keiko waved back at him and quickly
wiped away the tear streaks on her face with the back of her hand.
Leaving the magazine on her desk, she ran down to meet Kaguya.
"Hello, Keiko-san," greeted the young man politely and smiled
at her.
Keiko nodded once. "Why are you here?"
"Have you forgotten? You promised to go with me to a movie
tonight! It's already five in the evening and I thought we might have
time to stop for dinner before going to the cinema. Besides, we can
go to the city park afterwards to spend some time," offered the young
man as he flashed the two tickets in front of her face. "You know, we
have been dating so many times now and we haven't tried anything..."
Suddenly, Keiko felt sick and disgusted at herself. What was
she trying to do? Find a replacement for Yusuke? Find someone to go
with her to the city park! No, no-one could ever replace Yusuke in
her heart. From that very moment, she knew that she would be waiting
for him.
"Sorry, no... I... I am not feeling very well today... Sorry,"
apologized Keiko and turned away. Kaguya shouted after her but she
didn't hear anything.
There was one thought in her mind: Yusuke Urameshi.
Gradually, those fast steps turned into a stride. Before long,
Keiko was running down the street, heading for the city park.
The sun had began to set, its soft rays coloring the lake and
low lying clouds brilliant shades of red and violet. Keiko leaned
forward on the metal railings, her eyes looking far out across.
Quickly, she dug in the pockets of her jeans for a pen and a piece of
paper.
Word by word, she wrote out the ending to the verse.
*After searching far and wide,
The canary finally found its way home,
Home was with it all along,
Except it failed to recognize the path before;
Like the canary, I pursued for the truth,
But I found it nowhere other than in my very heart,
Like the canary,
I finally found the way home at last...*
Folding the verse with deft fingers, Keiko threw it high up in
the air. A smile lit up her face as the gentle breeze blew it towards
the middle of the lake. "Yusuke, I'll wait for you no matter what it
takes..." yelled Keiko, her voice trembling with emotion.
Slower and slower, it floated down and finally rested on the
face of the water. Inch by inch, it began to sink into the lake.
"Yusuke, I promise, I'll wait for you... I promise."
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Author's notes:
This fanfic is dedicated to two of my dearest friends in this world.
The first is Ai-chan, who has been so supportive of me when I lost my
way like the canary in this fic. You are like a sister to me who I
never have.
Next is to the one I like a lot. One that cheered me up when I was
hurt, one that stood up for me when I was bullied. I could only say
this to you: aishiteru. We will remain best of friends forever and
you will be a very special friend to me. I promise.
Love,
Siew Lee
Copyright reserved 1999, 2000 W. Siew Lee
All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic. The
*sajak* in Malay belongs to me, so does the translation.
E-mail: Siew Lee [wsiewlee@tm.net.my]
URL: http://www.rurouni.org/dreams
UIN: #14025577
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