Christmas Eve.
The night before Christmas.
The night of anxiety for children.
In a remote state called Indiana, a group of Hoosiers were preparing for a Christmas party. The hosts of the party were Jasmine and Nick, so the party was sure to be both fabulous and depressing. Nick had hung mistletoe throughout the house, because he wanted to get some from the local hottie Brandon. But neither of them were ready for the events that were to unfold…..
"No one has arrived yet." Nick laments.
Jasmine snorts aggressively, "Good."
"But if he doesn't come, I can't kiss him!" Nick exclaims.
"Well. Then not good." States a monotone Jasmine.
"GUESS WHO IS HERE!" Screams a creature.
"Oh. Coasters."
A small human by the name of Miranda bursts in through the door, knocking off one of Jasmine's plants.
"God damn it Coasters."
She bounds through the house before taking up residence on the sofa, laying her feet on the pillows. "Is David coming?"
"Dunno. We sent a note to him. He might." Grumbles Jasmine.
"W-well, I didn't even want him to come."
"You did. You begged us to invite him."
"...Anyways! Let's get beer!"
"No."
"...Apple cider!"
"Sure."
And so they waited. And waited.
"Oh look, a big ass car." Miranda observes.
"Is that….." Nick gasps "BRANDON!" :o
"AND DAVID!" Miranda screams
Jasmine groans, once again questioning her choice of friends.
Brandon sludges in, looking very disappointed at the party. David followed after him, throwing 50 bucks into the air. "WHO'S GOT SOME TECHNOLOGY THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED?!"
"Oh. He's here." Jasmine sighs.
Jaime Naruto runs into the house, looking like a complete weeaboo. Lindsay facepalms behind him, and her glasses do an anime flash.
And then other people come in.
-2 hours into a mediocre party-
Nick follows Brandon around, desperately waiting for him to go under the mistletoe. But Brandon wasn't falling for his shenanigans. This saddens Nick, who had worn his tail and everything.
Meanwhile, David was tormenting Miranda while Jasmine hovers behind them, like a parent who won't leave their child alone with the strange man by the trashy Walmart who always offers candy. But anyways, tormenting.
"So." *hair flip* "I hear you have a computer that needs to be fixed."
"U-um….yes….The computer is in my bedroom….on the bed….and you can only touch it if you're naked…."
"...Wat."
"What."
"..."
"...Um, apple cider?" She shoves a jar of apple cider at the poor man, before sprinting away. David stares after her in confusion.
"What a fucking failure." Jasmine mutters, before walking to the butter bowl.
"PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSEEEE TONIGHTTTT! EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIMEE!"
Miranda flails along to the music, kicking her feet all over the place. Brandon slightly bobs his head, putting in minimal effort. Nick watches, fangirling his heart out.
"Oh my, watch how he bobs his head Jasmine! So majestic, so beautiful, it is truly a work of art!" He squeals.
"Mmmn." She responds gleefully, eating ribs so good they transcend race and class. She craves that mineral.
David is doing that stare of death, stone cold, no emotion. He might as well be a fucking robot. He tilts his head slightly, his glasses reflecting the light from a disco ball that Jasmine may or may not have stolen from a strip club. 'He's so dreamy,' thinks Miranda, doing her "I FOUND DA BOOTY" face, before tripping over her feet and falling to the floor.
*GASP*
The room is dead silent, save for LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem in the background. They all stare at her silently, thinking about how she's a fucking disgrace to this country. Slowly, David stands up. He walks over to her with a calculating, dead stare. She grimaces, waiting for the rejection that is bound to come. But, he's silent. Until….
"I will personally give everyone in this room 20 bucks if they start talking again." He declares, waving around a sequined wallet. The room quickly explodes back into conversation. "Heh, works every time." He leans over and helps the disgrace of a human being up.
(Inside of Miranda's brain)
AND EVERYTIME WE TOUCH, I GET THIS FEELING
EVERY TIME YOU LOOK, I SWEAR I COULD FLY!
CAN'T YOU FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST!
I NEED YOU BY MY SIDEEEEEE!~
(Back to earth)
"O-oh, um, thank you…." *whispers* "You're so hot."
"Heh heh, gee, thanks." He grins, and looks up. "Oh, well would you look at that?" He chuckles. Miranda looks up, and sputters out a noise of 'holy fuck am I dreaming.' For above them, hanging from the ceiling….is mistletoe. David looks at her, pulling her closer, while she continues her sputtering. He presses his soft, yet slightly chapped lips against hers softly. The kiss is soft and gentle, and although it only lasted for a few seconds, she felt like she could spend forever there. But alas, he pulls away, and the kiss is over.
"Wow…" Miranda swoons, her face redder than Ed Sheeran's hair. Giggling, she just slowly stumbles away, leaving a chuckling David behind.
-As the party is ending and people are leaving-
David turns around and gives her a wink before leaving. Miranda giggles, swoons, then collapses to the floor. While Nick is screaming in despair that his numerous attempts to get some failed, but it worked for someone else. Bitter 101.
And tis another Christmas has come to an end. Don't forget to eat your spinach, kids.
