A/N: I got this idea when I was listening to Moments by One Direction. So I decided to write it down.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Ryan Murphy does.
Sometimes, you just want to go back to the time where everything was fine, because now everything had been broken.
And that's exactly what Ryder Lynn wanted. All he needed was a damn time machine to take him back to the time where everything was fine, where Marley was still here. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss her, because he really did, a lot.
He remembered the first day he woke up and expected her to find her curled up by his side, but when he turned over, the bed was empty, she was nowhere to be spotted. He shrugged the thoughts off and he kept telling himself that she probably was taking a shower or cooking breakfast. And the lack of noise made him realize, it clearly wasn't a dream and it obviously wasn't a delusion, it was real, and she really was gone. It was just him didn't want to believe the reality, he refused to.
If he just had a chance to spend just one more day with her, he would tell her how much he loved her and how much she meant to him.
She was a best friend, a wife, and a soul mate to him. And it had been 5 years, 5 years since she left him. 5 years since the last time he saw her beautiful blue eyes, 5 years since the last time he heard her beautiful voice, and 5 years year since the last time he saw her beautiful smile. He missed her, more than he could begin to describe and until this day, he just couldn't explain the pain he got when the doctor announced her death.
Silence, he had lived in silence for years, he had no words to say. And he had danced around with the memories of her in his mind while he hoped someday when he woke up he would find her curling up by his side, but sometimes hoping too hard will crush you down.
He really had try his best to hide his tears and he had pretended to be fine in front of his friends when he clearly not.
All she left for him was a beautiful child.
Each day he had always been reminded of her in the form of their daughter.
Her blue eyes were the exact replica of the orbs Marley used to own. Annabella might be the reason Ryder still breathing until this day. And maybe if she wasn't here, Ryder would have tried to join Marley with the angels. Each day, he saw more and more of Marley in Annabella rather than himself.
He could feel the pain in his heart every time she saw Annabella, because she barely knew her mother. She wouldn't remember her mother's smile. She wouldn't even remember the countless nights Marley stayed up for her.
He remembered the night when they brought Annabella home for the first time, and he remembered when he watched her sang Annabella a song, as he leaned to the wall, watching that precious and wonderful moment.
"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are gray
you'll never know dear,
how much I love you,
please don't take
my sunshine away."
He had carried this memory with him every single day since he lost her. He would silently cry when he remembered this precious memory.
He remembered the night when he was about to put Annabella to sleep and by all of a sudden Annabella asked him about Marley.
"Daddy, where's my momma? I'm the only one who doesn't have a momma in my class. But I do have a momma right, daddy?"
"Of course you do, if you don't have a momma, you won't be here." He replied softly as he pulled out a broken smile.
"I do?" the little girl asked. Ryder just simply nodded his head, "Yes, you do."
"But daddy, if I have a momma, then where is she?"
Ryder let out a sigh escaped from his mouth, "Your momma is in heaven now, because sometimes, God needs more good people. Good people like your momma. And now, your momma is an angel."
"My momma is an angel?" she asked with amusement. "Yes, she is an angel."
"Daddy, I want to meet my momma. Can I meet her? Please?" she begged.
"Of course you can." Ryder said as he smiled.
And on the next day he found himself dragging his feet along the path with his daughter, the little girl was holding a bouquet of flowers in her hands. The cemetery was a cold, wet and dark place even in the daylight.
And then lying before them, was the most beautiful tombstone,
'Marley Elizabeth Rose-Lynn'
Amazing singer, loved by many, an amazing mother and wife
1996-2021.
And when he saw the white marble tombstone, he couldn't help but falling down to his knees and began to cry. The realization that she truly had gone made him cry harder.
"Daddy, why are you crying? Please don't cry because momma will be sad if one of us cry." Annabella whispered in his ears. He mentally slapped himself for breaking down in front of Annabella.
"Daddy misses momma." He said as he forced himself to smile. "Daddy, don't be sad. Because momma loves you."
With that, Ryder kissed Annabella's forehead and he said, "I know, and I know momma also loves you, honey."
Ryder still clearly remembered when he found a letter from Marley, a day after her death.
Dear Ryder,
First of all, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have to leave you, because to be honest, I don't want to leave you, I really don't.
You were the reason I stayed for so long. You gave me hope for a brighter future, but a glimmer of hope can only last so long before it completely disappears, and soon enough I was left in the darkness.
I don't want to say my goodbyes yet, though I bet you've already bid your farewell to me. I'm not ready to end this note. Because you really need to know how much I love you.
I need you to promise me one thing, okay? I want you to promise me to never stop loving Annabella. She will need you, and you are going to need her as well. You are strong enough to take care of her, you've always been strong to me. I feel completely and absolutely selfish for leaving you, and I sincerely apologize for the pain I will—or have already caused you.
I'm pretty sure I will miss your laugh. And I will also miss the way you turn any situation into a positive one. It could be the dreariest day on Earth, and I would still be able to see your smile glimmering against the gray atmosphere of the outside world.I sure know that whenever I was ever feeling down, you were the first person I went to. You always knew how to make everything better, and I would leave you with the brightest grin on my face. You wouldn't leave me be until I was truthfully happy again, like what you did to me on the Grease night.
Another thing, can you please tell Annabella that I love her so much?
I feel bad because I'm not a good mother. And please tell her that I'm so sorry I can't be there to see her on her first day of school, or when she say her first word.
I'm afraid this will be the end of this letter, I'm sorry for all the mistakes that I've made. And I'm sorry for the pains I've caused you.
And please take a good care of yourself and Annabella, I don't want any of you to get hurt.
I love you Ryder and I love you too Annabella.
I've always love you, and I will always love you.
I hope we will meet again someday.
Love,
Marley.
No words could describe how much he missed her, nothing could ever will.
But Ryder knew, God will unite them again one day. And all he needed to do is wait for that time to come.
"You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be. My love, my heart is breathing for this moment in time I'll find the words to say before you leave me today."
