Disclaimer:I own nothing except for the insanity that is within. Everything HP related, of course, belongs to JKR. If there's anything unfamiliar or original...maybe it belongs to me.
A/N:Ok...so i've read many parenting class stories where Draco and Hermione had to pair up etc..So I decided to try my hand at one and give it a little twist. Enjoy!
Hermione Granger, aged 17, walked into her new 'Muggle Health' class and sat down. She was alone, as Harry and Ron opted not to take the class. The class was open to all 6th and 7th years, but she was still surprised to see Ginny Weasley drop into the seat next to her.
"I'm going to hate this class," Ginny whined, taking off her bag. "Mum practically forced me to take it."
Hermione gave her friend a sympathetic look. "I think it's going to be quite fun."
"Course you would," Ginny mumbled, blowing hair out of her face.
At that moment, the professor walked into the room. "Don't get too comfortable in your seats, as I'll be moving them," a voice boomed, causing all the students to turn in their seats.
"What's he doing teaching this class?" Hermione whispered, her jaw dropping.
Ginny shook her head. "Beats me. Even better...why'sMalfoy taking this class?" she whispered back.
Hermione's eyes scanned the back of the room, eyebrows raised when she found the familiar face. "What, in Merlin's name, is going in here?" she asked, maybe a tad too loud.
"What seems to be going on here, Miss Granger, is that you don't like to pay attention in my class," a voice said, causing Hermione to turn around in her seat.
"Ah...sorry, Sn-...I mean... Professor Snape," Hermione answered, folding her hands on her lap.
Severus Snape sneered at her. "Alright, class. For our first lesson in this horribly unneeded course, we shall be working on your parenting skills." He shuddered. "Don't know why I have to teach this," he mumbled, before turning to the black board. "You will each pair up someone of the opposite gender." He heard the chattering and smirked. "I know how eager you are to pair up with each other, but I have one condition," he said, turning to face the group.
Hermione took a deep breath. "Why does it look like Snape is smiling?" she mumbled to Ginny.
The redhead gulped. "Because he's probably about to do something that will make our lives hell," she mumbled back.
Snape surveyed the class, a strange and scary twinkle to his eyes. "You must pair up with someone in your dorm, so that living arraignments are already set.
There were choruses of "Hey! We can work together!" and "Sweet! Now I can get to know her better!", but one statement stood above the rest.
Pansy Parkinson was sitting next to Draco, positively beaming. "Drakey! We can be parents now!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around the stricken Slytherin.
"On the contrary, Miss Parkinson," Snape said, coming to a stop next to their table. "You and Mr. Malfoy will not be able to work together."
Draco, who was secretly thanking Merlin for his good luck, had a mock look of sadness on his face. "But, Professor...why ever not? We're both Slytherins, last time I checked."
Snape's eyes got that twinkle again and tapped his fingers together. "Are you not our Head Boy?" he asked, noticing Hermione walking nearby. "Do you not share quarters with our charming Head Girl?"
Hermione, who had been on her way over towards Colin Creevy, heard this statement and stopped in her tracks. 'What's Snape up to?' she asked herself.
Draco nodded. "Yes, I'm the Head Boy. And yes, I unwillingly share living space with Granger." Draco twisted out of Pansy's unwanted grasp and stood up. "What's living with Granger have to do..." he trailed off, as realization dawned on him.
Hermione, who had been listening, came to the same realization. 'Oh no."
"NO!" the three students yelled, then exchanged looks with each other.
Pansy looked as if she was about to cry. "You mean she gets to have Drakey's baby?! But he's supposed to be mine!" she whined loudly, drawing almost everyone's attention to the group.
Draco and Hermione exchanged a look. 'Help me,' mouthed to Hermione, panic across his face.
"Parkinson," Hermione started, waving off a fast approaching Ginny. "It's not like I'm actually having his kid. I'm sure it's just a doll or something," she answered, causing Pansy to shut-up.
'Thank you,' Draco mouthed to Hermione, letting out a sigh of relief.
Snape cleared his throat, causing silence throughout the whole room. "Now...if you lot would quiet down and sit with your partners, I can explain the assignment."
Hermione plopped into the vacant seat on Draco's other side and looked at Pansy. "Go on, Parkinson...I think Crabbe still needs a partner."
Pansy whimpered, gave Draco a scared look, then scampered over to where Vincent Crabbe was sitting.
"You're an evil little bint, Granger, " Draco whispered, nudging Hermione a bit with his arm.
Hermione gave him a small smile. "Only when provoked, " she whispered back, before turning to face the board.
"You will, over the course of a few months, be experiencing Muggle Childbirth," Snape said, pausing for a moment to shudder at the statement he had just made. "This being the case...for the female students, I have already sent out and received back all consent forms for your parents."
The class exchanged looks with each other and Hermione timidly raised her hand. "Professor? Why would our parents need to sign off on anything?"
Snape gave the class a very scary smile. "Well, Miss Granger. How many parents want their teenage daughters to go through childbirth and have a baby?"
A/N:So...what do you think? It's a little different than most...but it should be a good time. R&R!
