Adventures of Cedward Cullen, Jedi
This is the true story of a vampire named Edward Cullen. This is the story that he didn't tell Bella. Born Edward Masen? Psh. Killed by the Spanish flu? Ha! Last time I checked, Cedric Diggory was not Edward Masen, and Lord Voldemort wasn't the Spanish flu. Oh, yeah, and all that crap about his life with the Cullens as a vampire? He spent most of that time being a Jedi. This is the true story of Cedric Edward Cullen Diggory Skywalker.
The last thing he remembered was a flash of green light, then nothingness. He was dead, dead as a doornail. That's what happened when the most powerful Dark wizard of all time shouted "Avada Kedavra" at you. You died, no exceptions. Well, except for that Potter boy, but he was an exception to all the rules, wasn't he?
So there was absolutely no way that Cedric was still alive. The fact that he could hear voices was beside the point. And the burning pain that Cedric was feeling throughout his entire body? He must be in hell. There was no other option.
But then why was the pain receding? In hell, the fire didn't just go away. But it was. Cedric decided to consider his options. Maybe You-Know-Who's curse went wrong. Again. But then, why the pain? Maybe Harry had been in intense burning pain. Cedric had never thought to ask him. And besides, Harry had been a baby. He wouldn't have remembered anyway.
"Can you hear me?" said a voice.
"Yes," said Cedric, "Who are you? Where am I? How am I still alive? Where is You-Know-Who?"
"My name is Carlisle," said the voice, "And you are at my house. You are still alive because I am a vampire and I bit you, turning you into a vampire. And I don't know who You-Know-Who is."
Cedric opened his eyes to find a young blond man standing at his side. Cedric supposed he was rather attractive, though not near as attractive as Cedric. No way this man could date Cho Chang.
"Why did you bite me?" Cedric asked.
"Your father was so upset about your death that it broke my heart to leave you...dead," said Carlisle.
"So Harry did bring my body back from the maze? I hoped he would," said Cedric.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Carlisle.
"I was competing in the Triwizard Tournament with Harry, and two others. So I suppose it wasn't a Triwizard Tournament, but a...Quadwizard Tournament? You see, Harry somehow got through Dumbledore's Age Line with the Goblet of Fire. Well, the last task was a maze. Harry and I got through most of it, and we decided to tie and touch the Cup at the same time. Well, apparently, the Cup was a Portkey, and we ended up in a graveyard with You-Know-Who, and You-Know-Who killed me."
Carlisle stared blankly at him.
"I still have no idea what your talking about," he said.
"Oh, well," said Cedric, "That doesn't matter. I need to go see Harry Potter and see what happened to my wand."
Cedric arose from the bed, and was amazed to find how quickly he managed to do that. He did a quick lap around the room to find that he was impossibly fast. He reached over to the bed and lifted it with ease. He was also very strong.
"Wow," said Cedric, "I didn't know vampires had such awesome abilities! Aw, man, I'm going to be GREAT at Quidditch!"
"Did you...already believe in vampires?" Carlisle asked, confused.
"Of course," said Cedric, "Every wizard does."
With that, he jumped out the window.
It took Cedric a little while to realize that he was in America, and had to make it to England. It was a fairly simple matter of swimming the Atlantic Ocean, and he made it to England. He wasn't sure exactly where Harry lived during the summer holidays, so he set course for Hogwarts to find out. He arrived at Hogwarts to find it completely empty. It hadn't occurred to him that the staff wouldn't be present over the summer holidays. He managed to find Hagrid, though, who gave him Harry's address.
While running through the Scottish countryside, he realized how extremely thirsty he was. He happened to come across a Muggle, and decided that it wouldn't hurt to have a few sips. After leaving his dead body on the side of the road, Cedric realized that this probably went against some Muggle Relations law. Oh well, he thought, No one has to know....
Cedric finally reached Surrey after nightfall, and it didn't take him long to find Number 4 Privet Drive. He found that it was quite easy to jump into the second floor window, from which he heard the unmistakable sounds of Harry snoring.
He crept over to Harry's bed. His snowy owl hooted in alarm in the corner of the room. Cedric shook Harry's arm.
"Harry?" Cedric whispered.
Harry moaned, muttered something, and rolled over.
"Harry," Cedric said a bit louder, shaking Harry's arm again.
"Shut up, Ron," said Harry.
"Harry!" Cedric said.
"Five more minutes, Aunt Petunia," said Harry.
"HARRY!" Cedric yelled.
Harry's owl hooted, and Harry awoke with a start. He caught sight of Cedric, and began screaming loudly.
"Harry, shut up and listen to me!" said Cedric.
"But-but...you're dead," said Harry.
"Well, I was," said Cedric, "But now I'm alive again. At least, I think I'm alive....Maybe I'm just undead...."
Harry stared at him.
"I saw Voldemort kill you," said Harry.
"Yeah, he did kill me," said Cedric, "But then I was bitten by a vampire. So, I'm a vampire now."
"I think I'm dreaming," muttered Harry.
"No, your not," said Cedric.
"You'd say that in my dream," said Harry.
"I swear, Harry. You're awake. And I have a question to ask you," said Cedric.
"What?" said Harry.
"What happened to my wand?"
Harry thought about it for a second.
"I really don't know," said Harry, "I wasn't very concerned about your wand at the moment. I was a little preoccupied with Lord Voldemort."
"Yeah, I guess you were, weren't you?" said Cedric, "Thanks for dragging my dead body back, by the way."
"Your welcome," said Harry.
"Well," said Cedric, "I guess I'll be running along. I'll go to Ollivander's and get a new wand."
"See you," muttered Harry, sinking back into his pillow.
Cedric realized his dilemma when he reached London and attempted to get into Diagon Alley. Without a wand, he couldn't tap the brick....He made his way to the Leaky Cauldron, where he asked Tom the bartender to let him into Diagon Alley.
Cedric entered Ollivander's shop.
"Hello," said Ollivander, looking at Cedric in that creepy way of his, "What are you doing here? You already have a wand!"
"Yes," said Cedric, "But I...lost it."
"You lost your wand?" Ollivander looked furious.
"Er...yes," said Cedric, "You see, I was killed by You-Know-Who, and then brought back as a vampire. I'm not sure what happened to my wand during that time."
Ollivander stared at him.
"I am forbidden by the Ministry of Magic to give you a wand," said Ollivander, "Vampires are classified as non-wizards, and non-wizards aren't allowed wands."
"But I'm still a wizard!" said Cedric, "Just an un-dead one!"
"You do not see ghosts with wands, do you?" said Ollivander.
"Well, no," said Cedric, "But that's different. Ghosts are, you know, transparent. They couldn't even hold a wand, could they?"
"No," said Ollivander, "But that's beside the point. What about centaurs? They do not have wands."
"Well, they don't want wands, do they?" said Cedric.
"You do not see trolls with wands."
"Well, no, but–"
"Nor giants."
"But-"
"Nor house elves."
"Okay, maybe not. But what about werewolves? They have wands. Professor Lupin, he taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he was a werewolf. He definitely had a wand."
"But you are not a werewolf, are you?"
"No!" said Cedric desperately, "But what's the difference in being bitten by a werewolf and being bitten by a vampire? Nothing!"
"There's a huge difference," said Ollivander coldly, "And you are not getting a wand."
Cedric left Ollivander's, grumbling. He was completely unsure of what to do. It would be humiliating to live in the wizarding world without his wand. That Carlisle guy had seemed nice enough. Cedric decided to go back to live with him.
