Title: Blackmail

Author: upsidedownbutterfly

Summary: "Fifty bucks and I won't tell Elizabeth." Post-ep for "The Tao of Rodney".

Genre: humor, episode tag

Pairings: John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir

Rating: PG

Spoilers: "The Tao of Rodney"

Disclaimer: They're not mine, people.

Author's Note: For Vicky, because I love her.


"Fifty bucks and I won't tell Elizabeth," said Rodney, shoveling another forkful of food into his mouth.

John shot him a bewildered look from across the table. "What the hell are you talking about, McKay?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Need I remind you, Sheppard, that I just concluded an extended period of being able to read minds? I've seen that little fantasy of yours." He gave a little shudder at the recollection. "Multiple times."

"McKay…" John growled dangerously.

"Yes?" came the sing-song reply.

"You wouldn't."

Rodney smirked. "Oh wouldn't I, Sheppard? It's not like it's my fault that you are apparently completely incapable of exerting any sort of control over your thoughts. Besides, I imagine – for Atlantis's sake, of course – Elizabeth would be very interested in knowing that her ranking military officer has a nasty little habit of picturing her tying him to her bed, wearing nothing but a –"

"McKAY!" John barked out, loud enough to cause a number of other diners to turn and glance inquiringly in their direction. Ignoring them, he glared at McKay, his expression holding the promise of one thousand violent deaths, each more slow and torturous than the last. The effect was ruined however by the rapidly rising panic lurking just below the surface.

Rodney said nothing, but his eyes acquired a triumphant gleam, and finally John relented with a groan. "Fifty bucks? And you'll shut up about this for good?"

Rodney cocked his head to the side in feigned consideration. "Actually, Sheppard, I think you'd better make it one hundred."