AN: Hey… So I've never wrote a story on this before and I thought I would being as I've just been watching this so much lately. All my time is basically being taken up watching TWD! I am totally obsessed with Bethyl… If you don't like it please don't bother to read or comment.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with TWD, comic or television series
Chapter One: After the flood
It had been nearly three weeks.
Nineteen days to be exact. Since he had lost her.
Twenty days to be exact. Since he had found himself.
Nearly Twenty one days to be exact. Since he had nearly given up.
Turning to look over his shoulder to his left, his dark eyes assessed the others in the group as he thought once more about what had been happening since that night nearly three weeks ago.
20 days earlier…
They'd burned the shack in the forest to the ground, the smell still stuck to their clothes as they moved almost jovially through the leafy canopies before they had happened upon the walker in the forest. Their clothes still smelled with the stinging embers from the dead of the night, their skin tinged slightly darker from the detritus that had rose from the blaze when they had stood there, like teens, flipping off the structure as it met its demise.
Beth had hurt her ankle after the walker and he had taken her, hiked her up on his back as they emerged into the graveyard and into the daylight that had broken at some point since they had left the shack. Their spirits were better than they had been in days, each of them grasping some new kind of hope after Beth's first drinking experience, after he had broken down and laid on her his issues with the old world and with the new. Between them some mutual understanding brewed and he found himself with some newfound respect for his little companion. This morning he'd shown her to use his crossbow, something he was extremely protective over, but had defaulted in his ways and allowed her to have a go, to protect her by showing him she was no longer the child she had been when he first met her.
They had paused at the grave of a loving father, Beth's eyes appraising the words as she stood here in her solemn moment. It was there he grabbed a bunch of yellow flowers, setting them atop. He knew she was thinking of Herschel, it was impossible not to. His death had been a dark blanket hanging over the two of them as he knew she had wanted some way to mourn but they had no chance. She had only spoke in soft hushed tones yesterday night when she told him of how she thought it would be, how it should have been. Yet she had told him in that moment that she knew it had been a childish fantasy, that things in this world were not the same as the world that had surrounded them two years ago. Things now were dangerous and different, and they should not expect a single thing.
From their private mourning they had moved into the house, circulating the area and checking for what may have been lurking. She had once again spoken of the good people in the world when they had happened upon the clothed bodies and food stacked in the cupboard. He had been wary at first but had to admit that he found some comfort himself in her words, something he rarely did with anyone. He let his guard down a moment and sat there, enjoying their 'white trash' food whilst watching her pick at the food she had chosen. Sighing, they agreed to stay the night in the funeral home, grabbing the bag of pilfered items from the road and fashioning a walker line, the jangle of the wheel trims and other various noise making items clanging in the daylight as he placed them there.
They then sat, down in the chapel as he laid there in the coffin considering what they had been through the past few days and weeks as she sang softly. He sat and watched her, deft fingers gliding over the keyboard as she closed her eyes and murmured with the music. He could see the roll of a tear down her cheek and looked away, as if intruding in a private moment in her mind. He could see the sun setting and knew she would have to stop soon so as not to attract any meandering walkers, but when he turned back and saw another drop sliding down her cheek he had no heart to stop her from dealing with her demons through singing.
With a sigh, he hauled himself from the coffin, Beth not even noticing as he moved out of the room and up into the kitchens. Opening the cupboards he grabbed the cola, and opened his backpack before grabbing two glass pots from within. Setting them down and checking through a spot in the blinds once more in case there were any lurkers around, he retrieved the items before walking down to her.
He stood against the doorway as he analysed her, her body language, her singing as she sang the last few chords of the song with vigour, the tears faster and larger now, rolling off her face and her lips as she finished and put her head into her small hands, blonde hair cascading around her. Without thought, he placed the items on the nearest chair and walked over, bending slightly at the waist to grasp her around the shoulders as she cried. Briefly she stiffened, more from the mild possibility he could be a walker than the fact that it was him, as when she smelled his woody scent she relaxed and allowed her head to droop over his arms once more.
Rubbing her back he moved from her, producing the small pot of moonshine he had brought her with a wry smile and opening it, pouring in some cola to mix in and disguise the taste.
"Again? I try it once and turn into a regular alcoholic…" She whispered, the faintest smile appearing on her pale features.
"I ain't real sure what we got to do round here apart from you playin' that thing, and to be honest Beth we ain't really able to have it that loud when it gets dark… If you don' wan' it don't, just thought it might help…" He said, slightly unsure of the words that were tumbling out of his mouth as he didn't voice the fact that he thought it may help with grief, that he considered it the only way he knew how to cope with difficulties like what she was going through, that he'd seen his parents bury themselves in the bottom of a bottle and that was how he was taught to deal with things.
"I understand… Must be better with a bit of cola anyway." She smiled at him, a genuine smile that reached those clear blue eyes of hers before taking a tentative sip and making a face before sticking out her tongue at him. "Better than on its own I guess!"
He smiled at her and settled himself back into the silken coffin, laying there with his own moonshine held between his hands as she moved to sit in the front row near him. He almost laughed at how if he died at that moment she would very well be the only one who would attend his funeral, hell, she would probably have to be the one to end his life. Sombre thoughts often invaded his mind when he had a drink and he shook himself from letting them conquer his mind as they had so often of late.
"Hey… can we talk?" Beth suddenly whispered, peering to look at him laid in the white interior before he leaned on his side, looking back at her expectantly. Her cheeks suddenly grew a bright red colour and she looked down to her lap.
"What?" His words were gruff as he waited for an answer, he hated when people didn't respond when they'd been the ones to ask a question.
"I just… I mean talk about anything. Never have I ever isn't exactly a good game to play… Maybe we could just learn some things about one another. Real stuff." Her eyes met his once more with a little hope glinting in the cerulean from the mild candlelight that illuminated the two of them.
"What ya' wanna know?" He whispered back, looking at her once more as if he was truly looking at her for the first time, internally notarising the woman she had developed into rather than the boyish figured kid from the days at the farm. He was silent for a moment before she cocked her head to the side, her small pink tongue darting out to wet her peach lips.
"Have you ever been married? Long term girlfriend? Kids?" She enquiries, eyebrows shot up as she asked her carefully chosen question and was met with a slightly surprised look.
"That's what you choose to ask? Nah. None of that stuff fer' me. Always been me an' Merle before this. Driftin' round Georgia… Thas' it really." He shrugged, suddenly feeling quite underwhelmed with himself as he considered all the things that most people his age had done and that he hadn't. Hell, he hadn't even left Georgia. Never had a proper job. Not done most things. Once again he could feel the anger rising in him that he had felt from yesterday when they were at the shack and playing that stupid game. He tried to quell it as he knew she was only trying to get to know him, but he wasn't sure if his anger was at her as per se, or if it was at the knowledge that most people judged him on the life choices he had made prior to the end of the world. Or if it was the fact that he was ashamed of himself, that he had followed Merle so blindly and failed to make anything of himself other than his brothers shadow.
Beth must have sensed this as she froze up a little after he answered, her eyes watching him intently and obviously recalling yesterday when he had made her shoot the walker, when he had brought down all his walls and told her what had truly been on his mind in his frenzy. As she looked at him he suddenly realised, as he attempted a small smile at her.
"So… You've never been in a long term relationship?" She asked, looking at him curiously with her bright eyes before looking up and down him. In her mind, she was quite surprised. Daryl had often worked out when he was at the prison and even at her father's farm, he had shown a tenacity that she knew many of the women found quite endearing. He was gentle at times, as shown with baby Judith, yet he could be fierce and brave and protective. She had found him attractive before he had probably even known her name, yet she was just a stupid kid back then. She had grown over the past few months, matured more into a woman she knew it. She could recognise it in herself, her shedding of her previous childish idiocies and her fantasy world. She found it hard to believe that there had been no-one, even if he had the tendency to be quite the loner.
"No, I ain't, like I jus' said Beth." He growled out, warning her she was treading on dangerous territory.
"What about Carol?" She whispered, looking at him with wider eyes as it slipped out as the moonshine loosened her tongue. Dang, she'd done it now. She had watched them together in camp ever since he'd been the one out there risking his life to go and save Carol's little girl, when he'd come home with an arrow protruding from his body and Andrea had grazed his head with a bullet.
Daryl looked at her a moment before throwing himself back onto his back and looking upwards, a deep swag of the moonshine burning its way down his throat as he contemplated the question. He loved Carol, but not in the way that Beth perceived it. He knew there had been talk at the camp of him and Carol since Ed's death and the search for Sophia, but he honestly just wanted to help. He knew what it was like to be a kid lost out there, and he would have felt comfort all those years ago if he believed someone was looking for him. That's what he had wanted Sophia to know. That someone cared enough to look for her like no-one had done for him. Carol… She reminded him of a sister, her own life greatly reflecting that of his own mother's before her death. He wanted to protect her, he loved her, but those feelings did not cross the line of romance… He just cared deeply for her.
"We ain' like that Beth. She's like ma sister, she… We… I can' describe it Beth but it ain' like that. I ain' attracted to her like that. She's like family you see." He whispered, glancing back to the wide eyed blonde who looked surprised he'd graced her with an answer without blowing his lid.
"I see… I jus' thought…" She whispered, looking at him once more with a slightly nervous smile. She did seem scared of him, he thought, and he felt the anger brewing up inside him once more. Is this what she always thought of him now? That he would fly off kilter and just go mad with her every time she slightly imprinted on a nerve? Hell, he wasn't even that bothered about her questions, it was how she watched him intently like a deer caught in the headlights and it just twisted a lever inside him that made him furious that he had stuck his neck out for her and she was scared of him. Of everything left in this world, she could be scared of him?
"Ya' don' need ter look like that Beth, I ain' gonna fuckin' hurt ye." He said, turning once again away from her as he caught her face switch to embarrassment.
"I'm sorry Daryl… Just… I dunno…" She whispered quietly and his mood soured once more as she failed to explain herself as the words 'because of yesterday' hung in the air between them as tight as the walkers outside did.
"Fuck this Beth… You stay here." He said, sitting up and stuffing the now empty moonshine jar down the side of the coffin as he attempted to stand. He hadn't realised how much of the potent little potion he had drank until he tried to move himself and found that he wasn't as deft on his feet as he usually was and his failure to realise this mood that he had dissolved into was caused not by Beth, but by whatever was in the glass.
"Look I'm sorry just after yesterday, don't go…" She finally let the cat out of the bag and he stood in front of her as she got up, her mostly empty moonshine pot rolling over to rest against the back of the lined up chair beside her, dripping the acrid liquid onto the soft leather part of the seat.
"Jus' let me go Beth. I can't be dealin' with ya right now if ya gonna start these stupid ass games again an' questioning the choices I make. I see ya, lookin' at me like a deer in the headlights every time you let somethin' come outta that mouth o' yers." He said, looking down at the blonde beneath him who had put her hands up to his chest to prevent him moving. Her eyes were sharp and the timid look had dissipated from her face, a slightly anxious one replacing it to prevent him from leaving. Her fingers on his chest sparked fire where she touched, a couple of her fingers having touched his bare skin where his shirt opened up on his chest. He knew it was wrong, hell, she was what nineteen? He was 32. Even if she had matured she was still a kid and he wanted to distance himself from her when the moonshine was fuzzing his brain.
"Don't leave me Daryl, please." She whispered, her eyes looking at him through long blonde lashes. "I just didn' want you to leave Daryl". The twang in her voice wasn't as prominent as his, but he knew the more her accent shone through the less she was thinking about what she said and focusing on making sure she got the words out to him.
He grabbed her forearms and pushed her off slightly, not violently, before turning around and putting his hands on the side of the coffin, looking down into it with his head bowed as he thought.
"I ain' like ya Beth, we both know it. We're so damn different you an' I. I ain' even know what God you believe in with wha' joke he wa' makin' when he left you with me girl. I can' listen to ya questionin' anymore. I can' listen to ya pickin' apart my life like you did las night and I ain' tryin ter scare ya but it just ain' something I'm used to." He held onto the edge of the coffin once more, looking into it and waiting for her to respond.
The goddamn' fuckin' moonshine he thought to himself, his tongue loose as Beth's and his mind fogging slightly. He had told her he was an ass when he was drunk, and here he was again getting emotional like some high school kid.
"Daryl it's okay you know. I jus' wanted to know more about you…" Once again he felt her arms around his back as she laid her head upon it, her blonde hair ticking the exposed skin slightly on his arms. He sucked in a breath as her warmth invaded his and inside the haze of moonshine he felt himself relaxing slightly, turning around to hug her back, her head laid upon his chest.
"I'm sorry Beth. But there ain' tha' much to tell ya if I'm honest and you know… It ain' really like it matters no more is it…" He whispered, tucking her head under his chin as he realised what it felt like to want to comfort another being. Even if it was just as friends, it was nice to know that she cared enough to want to know about him.
"Daryl… I…" She began, suddenly looking up to him with a newfound vigour in her eyes as she began to assess his angular face and high cheekbones. He cocked an eyebrow and wondered what she was about to say before she shook her head and buried it back in his chest, her arms tightening around him once more.
"Let's get more moonshine…" She whispered, looking at him who shook his head.
"Nah Beth, look at us. We ain' fit for more of that stuff tonight. Were' turnin into a pair of kids with this stuff." He whispered, looking back down at her before removing her from his embrace and turning around.
Nodding, she yawned and rested back onto the chair behind her. Looking at him once more she wondered if he still thought of her as a child. A few days ago, when they entered the golf club she had been very much aware of the fact that he would rather be stuck with anyone but her, he probably pegged Judith as more useful than her. Then last night, what had transpired had changed her feelings of him, given her some level of understanding of him at least. She had warmed to him very much since last night, before he had been something to look at with a few redeeming qualities, but now she felt very much like she knew who he was underneath, yet she didn't know anything about him. She wondered how he was feeling with his discoveries about her.
It was driving her insane also, as this newfound discovery about Daryl had opened up doors in her mind that would have stayed firmly shut previous to that night. This side of him that made her understand him also ignited a small fire within her when she looked at him that she was having trouble stamping down when mixed with the moonshine and his muscular arms mere inches away from her. Sighing, she looked up and down him as he stood there, unaware of her roving eyes taking in every small detail of him before she subconsciously licked her lips. Realising what she had done, she turned bright red as she took him in once again before he turned around.
He raised an eyebrow at her colouring but did not say a word as she struggled to meet his eyes. "Whas' wrong girl?" He said, looking down at her and waiting for an answer.
"Is that what you think of me?" She whispered, looking back up at him and using his loaded words from yesterday.
"What do you mean?" He looked at her quizzically, his eyebrows lifting up into his hair.
She looked up at him with wide eyes, before narrowing them once more at him. "You called me girl. You still think of me as some 'girl'? Some kid?" She said, enunciating her words as she did so.
Daryl for his part looked startled by her comment and backtracked inside his mind. He was in habit of calling her these things, as he had done nearly as long as he'd known her. He didn't think of her as a child anymore, he knew she'd grown up and that she'd matured as much as the rest of them.
"I ain't mean nothin' by it Beth. You know I don't think of you like that no more. It's just a habit." His eyes searched hers for her understanding before she nodded.
"So what do ya think of me?" She whispered, looking up at him and wetting her lips out of habit, immediately drawing his attention to them before he sharply looked back to her face.
Daryl's mind overloaded for a second as the inner workings of his mind began to panic. What did he think of her? She was mature now, more than she'd been before and he could see that from the inner workings of her mind that he got glimpses of as well as from her outside. He looked at her once more as if truly seeing her for the first time and considered the slight smile adorning her porcelain features, riddled with slight dirt from her fall earlier. She had large blue eyes and dainty a nose and lips, eyes travelling further down as he continued to appraise her. Catching himself he suddenly turned red and coughed as he took in the curve of the top of her breasts, realising he had got lost in his moment and feeling entirely like a peeping Tom. Looking up he caught her looking at him with a grin on her face, her cheeks tinged pink.
He opened his mouth to speak and excuse what had just happened, opening and closing it much like a goldfish swimming around it's bowl. Suddenly she stood, reaching over him and looking him directly in his eyes. Confusion mounted inside him and inside her the only feeling was this sudden desire as in her ears a crescendo of blood pumping around her body began.
"Beth wha-" She cut him off as she pressed her lips against his, raising her small hands to bury into his hair and keep his head in place as she did so. He froze, his arms at his sides as he attempted to register what was happening, what she was doing, why on earth she was kissing him all of a sudden.
These thoughts suddenly careered to the back of his mind as she pressed herself against him and he leant back against the coffin, her kiss suddenly becoming deeper and his body finding no other alternative but to respond to her as her fingers ran through his hair, clutched to his face, her body flush against his as he felt heat rising within him.
Their tongues danced with one another suddenly, as they both began to fall into the kiss, each of them forgetting the world that had come crashing down around them over the past two years, forgetting their roles in the lives of the others from their camp, forgetting everything but the two of them.
Beth felt her breath leaving her and her hands began to explore, going from grasping on to dark brown locks to carefully moving down his shoulders, those biceps, across his chest. He groaned into her, anything else in the world completely forgotten as they lost themselves in one another. No thoughts processed, no words exchanged, just the two of them with all boundaries well and truly broken.
The kiss became more furious as she let out a slight moan when his tongue massaged hers further, and she carefully divested the winged jacket off his shoulders that fell with a slight bump to the floor, forgotten in their moment. When he heard it, he jerked away suddenly, looking at her with unaltered lust in his eyes but a slight fear upon his features.
"Beth… I… We… Can't…" He was breathless from her kiss, looking at her with wide eyes as he realised he could not step back or escape from her.
She looked at him, too, with wide eyes as she assessed the situation between them. "Daryl… Why not…?" She whispered lightly, searching his face for the regret she was sure would be present.
"You're… Ya' you Beth, an' me… This ain' right…" He whispered, bringing a hand up to her pale cheek which was flushed pink from their ministrations of one another. Instead of being upset, her face contorted with rage at his insinuation.
"Because I'm so young?" She whispered, her hands refusing to move from their position on his chest, the buttons of his shirt somehow undone further down toward the top of his belly button.
"Yeh… Beth we can' do this. I can' do this with ya, we won' stop." He groaned, putting his face in his hands and palming his eyes as if the realisation of what this meant had suddenly fallen upon his shoulders with staggering weight.
"You don't like me?"
"You know' it ain' that Beth… You know I do…" He kept his face in his hands, mind reeling at what he'd just done.
Daryl Dixon was a man with a code. Never get involved with a woman, women only break hearts and stamp on feelings. Daryl Dixon was not a man for feelings. Sure, there had been women when he was drifting around pre-apocalypse but not serious women. Not women who would get attached and possibly mean one or both of their deaths in this world. Feelings messed things up, got situations rather… Precarious. Beth was also so damn young… He'd watched her grow into a woman and despite the fact he knew she was a woman now, it haunted him what the others would think if they found out they'd been alone and he'd practically been pawing at her. Daryl Dixon was a man with a code. A man who'd broken his own code.
"Daryl! Look at me! I'm not a fuckin' kid no more!" She shouted suddenly, pushing off him with a renewed vigour and fire in those crystal blue eyes. He started at her outburst, looking at her as if unsure what to do.
"Look at me Daryl! Do I look like some fuckin' kid no more?" Her voice raised octave after octave and he became nervous that any passing walkers would hear her. Suddenly, she grabbed the dirty cardigan from around herself and threw it to the ground, reaching up and suddenly divesting herself of the dirtied yellow shirt as well.
"Beth! Th' fuck!" He said, shielding his eyes as she stood there in only her bra and jeans, not wanting to look through his fingers as much as he knew he wanted to. A man with a code. A man with a code.
"I'm not a kid Daryl! You have to accept it. Why can' we just do this Daryl? You know we could die tomorrow and I've never… Never…" She whispered, tears filling her eyes as she realised that this was her rejection. She had thought that he liked her, briefly, when his calloused hands had collided with her blonde hair and his lips had moved against hers. She had wanted, in those moments, nothing more than Daryl Dixon to teach her everything that she didn't know, everything that she may never know unless that moment allowed her to know. "Please Daryl…" She whispered, looking at him with searching eyes as he looked at her with renewed conflict.
"Beth, I ain' sure what you' thinkin' there but that wasn't about to lead to…." He broke off, unable to finish the sentence that had been on the tip of his tongue. Now she brought it up, now he thought about it, it had awakened some kind of fire in him for the girl but his inner turmoil would not allow him to waiver on this.
"Fine Daryl… But you know… If we die tomorrow, remember this." She grabbed her shirt off the floor, leaving the cardigan strewn on the floor and stalked out, grabbing the near empty moonshine pot with her as she made her way up to the kitchen.
Sighing, he threw himself back in the coffin, palms once again in his eyes as he groaned loudly at what had just transpired. How was it that things could get like that so soon? How was it that this could happen?
Despite the aspersions he had cast upon the validity of what just happened, he knew that when she had pressed her lips against him his insides felt a flame licking them and a spark ignited deep within. He knew that he had wanted her kiss, her, that smile that she had been throwing round at him the past couple of days and the words of comfort that she had used to cradle his ego and memories. That small nose and mouth, that skin… He was in deep already.
"Fuck…" He grabbed himself and stood from the coffin once more, stalking up to the kitchen to look for his blonde companion.
"Beth…" He whispered, finding her in the kitchen, hands against the table as small sobs wracked her body. She turned, not exactly startled by it being him, but surprised that he had come after her after her outburst. He knew, in that moment, that he was well and truly screwed. That blonde hair and those eyes, the dishevelled look of her and the warmth of her body. Daryl Dixon was a man with a code. A code that was well and truly fucked because he knew he felt something for the girl in front of him that made him care that she was crying, that made him want to keep her safe, that attracted him to her. Failing to see any other reason, he grasped her face between his hands and his dark eyes met her light ones, before smashing his lips onto hers in a fierce kiss.
Her response was immediate and she grasped onto him tightly as if scared he would leave her again, scared that he would suddenly come to his senses and reject her. But here they were, two polar opposites together in situations that neither could have imagined, with neither person that they would have imagined, but they were together surviving and in need of shedding the loneliness that had settled in both their hearts.
The next day came with the break of sunlight and both of them knew of the moonshine induced shift in their relationship as they came to terms with the night before, spent chatting and snogging like two teenagers. But it was nice, and both had come to terms with the fact that they felt something for one another, even if no finger could place what exactly this was.
He carried her upstairs jovially, smiling and laughing to one another as they settled down to more light cola and pigs feet for breakfast. The dog had come to the door and they had laughed, Beth even joking about wanting to keep it before Daryl brought up the serious conversation of trying to stay at the little funeral home to see who would return, if they could live together. She had smiled and nodded, reminding him there were good people in the world.
It was not until later that this had all come crashing down. They'd spent the day out in the graveyard, fashioning more arrows out of wood and teaching Beth more basic survival before the night had fell and in between their laughing and kisses, which had come easily to both of them after the night before, it had happened.
She had been taken in the night when the walkers came, her pack strewn across the gravel. All he could do was chase after the car, all through the night and up the road until daybreak. Yet in his mind he knew that she had been right days earlier. "You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon".
Try as he could, he didn't find her. He had followed the train tracks and lost sight of her, until he had come across some people he never once thought he would see again.
Michonne.
Carl.
Rick.
They'd been there, stood like some bandits by the road, Carl wearing the hat like his father once did, Michonne there with the katanas out in front of her as if he himself was a walker. He felt something close to hope blooming in his chest as he saw them, even finding himself enveloped in a hug of some fashion with Rick whom he had grown so close to over the past couple of years. Yet when he asked them if they had a car, they had denied seeing one since the fall of the prison and he felt dread drop inside him as he told them the story of Beth and her kidnapping, and he had told them he needed to find her.
Memories of the hunt for Sophia were fresh in his mind as he told them about her, and considered how she might be, as her sister had phrased so long ago 'walker bait' by now. He couldn't allow it to happen. Not after the sweet smiles and fiery kisses, he needed to know where she was.
Which lead him to nearly three weeks after she had been taken. Nearly three entire weeks and he knew the chances of finding her alive if at all were getting slimmer as the seconds ticked by. Yet Daryl Dixon was a man with a code, and he needed to find Beth Greene because those hours that they had spent alone together had changed something inside him and caused his yearn for something more that only she could provide.
AN: So that's the first chapter. Its basically a rehash of the episodes that have just aired but with a twist. But now the really fun bit can start!
