Hi guys! This is going to be a cute little two shot where Sherlock once again just does not get it. John Watson to the rescue! I wanted to take a break from my bigger stories and write something fun and not so serious! Hope you enjoy! hugs!


"Gay…" Sherlock said barely looking up from his microscope.

"What?" Molly asked staring at him incredulously.

"Oh here we go," John said rolling his eyes.

Sherlock looked up from his work. "I said gay…Tom…your fiancé is gay," he said smirking.

The blood rushed to Molly's cheeks as the anger rose within her. "He is not gay Sherlock Holmes…" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Sherlock, please don't do this again," John pleaded.

"Molly I can assure you that he is. I wouldn't say it if he was not," Sherlock said, looking back into his microscope. "Besides I don't know why this is such a shock to you. When have you ever managed to find a man that actually wanted you for you and not to just use you for something?"

"Sherlock!" John shouted.

"What?" Molly asked in a whisper.

Sherlock looked up from his microscope again and looked at her. "Well let's look at your track record, shall we? What was that fellows name from neurosurgery…the one who was not only being unfaithful to his wife with you, but unfaithful to you with that gorgeous nurse from the cancer wing? I mean, really Molly, what would you expect from a man like him, you would never be enough for him."

"Sherlock!" John shouted again.

"What?" Sherlock asked with a bewildered expression. "I am merely trying to help her see what dreadful taste that she has in men. Now let's see where was I," he said clicking his teeth. "Ah yes, Jim Moriarty…you're lucky you got out of that one alive. He was never interested in you; he only used you to get to me. And didn't you go out with Anderson? I could've told you that wouldn't work out, I mean he was already knobbing Donovan while his wife was away."

"Stop it…" she hissed.

"But there are more men," Sherlock said looking at her as if this was a subject that was perfectly natural to discuss. "And what was that idiot's name that worked as a dentist…Mark wasn't it? Oh yes, he was a real prize. One could only deduce that the massive amount of ice cream that you ate was due to the fact that he couldn't satisfy you in bed and it would certainly explain the six pounds that you gained. And then right after him, you went out with that dreadful accountant and the four pounds that you gained in the first week alone speaks volumes on that train wreck of a relationship."

Molly was trembling with anger, humiliation, and hurt. She stared at him with tears in her eyes, yet he seemed oblivious and continued talking. "And now you have this Tom bloke, who is nothing but a cheap carbon copy of me, really Molly that is quite pathetic, even for you. I mean, he doesn't really even look like me, he only dresses and behaves like me. Or at least he attempts to because he knows that you're only with him in a halfhearted attempt to get over me," he shrugged. "And of course, he is gay…so I guess he feels okay using you to try to cover the fact that he is a sausage chaser since you are using him to get over me."

"You said you were happy for me…that I deserved happiness," she whispered.

"Well that was before I met him," Sherlock said. "Can you seriously not see it?"

Sherlock reeled back, slamming his hand on the metal table to keep from falling backward off the stool. His hand went to his stinging cheek. He rubbed it as he watched Molly storm from the lab.

"Why in the hell did you do that?" John snapped. "I thought you and Molly were friends now…that you both had reached an understanding. She did so much for you. She was bloody instrumental in your survival with Moriarty!"

Sherlock's eyes narrowed. "She deserved it!" he snapped. "She lied to me."

"What do you mean she lied to you?"

"She told me that she had moved on…that she no longer felt that way about me," he said. "She said that we could be "friends"," he said mimicking her voice as best he could, with a sneer on his face.

"She did move on. She met Tom and is getting married," John argued. "And from what I can tell, she's been a bloody good friend to you, even though you have never deserved her!"

"How has she moved on if he is just like me," Sherlock asked, shoving the microscope away from him and sending it to the floor.

"Sherlock, that is hospital property," John said in exasperation, bending down to pick the pieces up.

"She obviously is not over me," Sherlock continued on, ignoring John. "So if she is not over me, then why would she choose this fool to try and get over me…instead of just being with me?"

John dropped the pieces he had just picked up and stared up at Sherlock with his mouth agape. "So let me see if I understand this," John began.

Sherlock sighed and rolled his eyes. "I should've have known you would need further explanation."

"Shut it or I'll shut it for you," John said. "You say she lied to you because she told you that she was over you, but because she is dating a man that has some similarities to you, you think that she is not over you. And since she is not over you, she should just be with you…is that what you're saying?"

Sherlock frowned. "In a rather sloppy way of retelling it, yes that is what I am saying," he said.

John wet his lips and nodded. "Ok…so what are you telling me is that you want Molly with you?" he asked.

Sherlock sighed dramatically. "Well I should think that was obvious," he said.

John's brow creased as he pondered what his friend had just said. "And since you're obviously irritated that she is with a man in more than a friendship capacity, I can only assume that when you say that you want her with you…you also want her with you in more than a friendship capacity?" John asked trying to come to the point, which was not easy to do with Sherlock's roundabout way of saying things.

"Yes John," Sherlock said with an impatient huff. "Finally you comprehend the point."

"So you like Molly…" John asked in disbelief. "As in, like her like her…as a man likes a woman?"

"Yes," Sherlock snapped.

"In a romantic way…as in holding her hand, kissing her, and touching her?" John asked skeptically.

Sherlock glared at him. "Yes, yes, kissing, touching, knobbing…all that," he shouted. "What is so bloody difficult about this?"

"I'm sorry, but did you just say out loud that you wanted to knob Molly?" John asked with a mixed look of amusement, confusion, and pride.

"YES!" Sherlock shouted. "I WANT TO KNOB MOLLY HOOPER! Good Lord John, what is wrong with you?"

Sherlock and John both turned around and looked when they heard a throat being cleared. Mike Stamford stood quietly by the door with a flushed face. "Um…yes…well…I just wanted to bring you these lab results Sherlock," Mike said laying them down quickly on the table. "I'll just pop off then…" he said turning and leaving the lab as quickly as he came in.

Sherlock glared at John. His entire face and neck was tomato red. John bit his lips trying unsuccessfully to hide his amusement. "Okay…so let's talk about this Sherlock. You have decided that you are romantically interested in Molly and find her physically appealing?" John asked, clearing his throat.

Sherlock swallowed hard and sniffed. "Yes," he said simply.

"I see, and when did you discover this?"

"When I was being beaten to a bloody pulp in Serbia," Sherlock said smiling.

John blinked. "Um…care to elaborate?"

"It's perfectly simple, my dim witted friend," Sherlock said with an affectionate smile. "After about the 3rd day of being deprived of water, food, and being kept wallowing in my own filth, I was dragged out of my cage, hung up by my arms as they were stretched to the point of being ripped from their sockets. Then as I was being beaten repeatedly with a metal pipe, I began to contemplate the events that brought me to that point."

"I can't believe you were able to contemplate anything at all," John said softly, truly wondering what all his friend had suffered trying to take down Moriarty's network.

"As I was being hit about my back and shoulders, I of course thought that I would be beaten to death, so my life flashed before me John. I thought of you, Mrs. Hudson, my parents, my impossibly obnoxious know it all brother…"

"Pot meet kettle…" John said under his breath.

"Who is telling this tale, John?" Sherlock snipped. John held up his hand in mock surrender. Sherlock continued "As I was saying, I even thought about Grant and how…"

"Greg…" John said interrupting him again.

"What?"

"His name is Greg Lestrade…not Grant. I don't even know who that would be," John said.

"Fine Greg," Sherlock said waving his hand. "I thought of you all and how all of you would never know…if I died that day…you would never have known because all of you, except for my parents and Mycroft already believed me dead. But you would never have known how I feel…what you all mean to me," he said suddenly becoming self-conscious. He turned away from John to gather himself while John resisted the urge to hug him.

Sherlock turned back to John and swallowed hard. "But the person that kept coming to my mind…even more than you John, was Molly. She knew I was alive, but if I had died in that hole, she would never have known that she mattered. She would never have known just how much she mattered. It would've been a great injustice to her to never know what she meant to me…what she does mean to me," he said. "And then when I came home and saw what you had with Mary. I realized that sentiment, while it might be painful sometimes and time consuming; it is not such a bad thing. It's rather a good thing. I thought maybe I could have that with Molly…what you have with Mary."

John nodded. "Okay, but if you feel this way, why did you just devastate her like that?" he asked.

"Because she lied to me and I was angry," Sherlock fumed. "She told me that she had moved on from me. Then she brings that ridiculous man to my flat and I see what he is. She's not over me."

"So you hurt her feelings because you're mad at her because you think she lied to you?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Sherlock snapped. "I don't think she lied, I know she lied."

John shook his head, sighing deeply. He ran both his hands though his blonde hair. "Okay, you don't deserve it, but I'm going to help you save this with her. First of all, I'm going to tell you what a colossal jackass that you are, and then I'm going to explain to you why everything that you just said and did was some of the worst possible things you could have said and done to a woman. Then, I'm going to tell you how to fix this," he said.

"I don't need you to help me…"Sherlock began, but John put his hand over his mouth.

"Just shut up Sherlock. Shut your stupid mouth and listen to me," John said. "Because if you do not listen, then you will never get to see if you could have with Molly what Mary and I have together."


Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading and giving it a shot!