My first IchiHitsu fic! Be kind and please review!

Pairing: Ichigo Kurosaki/Toushiro Hitsugaya.

Warnings: Lots of swearing and very OOC moments.

Enjoy!


Matsumoto Rangiku, vice-captain of the tenth division ran as fast as she could towards the first division barracks. Anyone who knew Rangiku also knew that she was a very laid back and carefree person, she never let anything get to her or keep her down.

So when she burst through the doors and into the captains meeting with eyes wild with fear, hand on Haineko's hilt and mumbling incoherently under her breath, people were surprised.

The captains of the Gotei 13 all stared at her in shock and apprehension, well except one captain who was mysteriously missing.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto, what is the meaning of this?" The head captain boomed, making all the occupants wince at his loud voice, except Matsumoto who was trying to catch her breath.

"Captain…he…sick…delirious…scary." Was what Matsumoto managed to pant out. Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of squad 11 was kind enough to voice what everybody was thinking.

"The fuck she just say?" His vulgar language making Captain Unohana sigh and shake her head.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto, would you be so kind as to inform us of Captain Hitsugaya's whereabouts? Why is he not at this meeting?" The head-captain asked decently, trying to get a handle on his temper.

Matsumoto's ears were ringing so all she understood was 'Captain Hitsugaya…is…at this meeting' which promptly made her have some sort of emotional breakdown.

She screamed and dropped to her knees.

"NO CAPTAIN! I'M SORRY, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! NO, NOT THE SAKE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—" Her little breakdown was cut short by Captain Hirako Shinji slapping her around the face.

"Get a hold of yourself woman! Now grow a pair and tell us what is wrong." Matsumoto sobered up immediately, stood up and dusted herself off.

"We have a…code black in progress."

Horrified gasps echoed around the room and so did a shrill lady-like scream, that sounded suspiciously like Captain Kyouraku, when everyone turned to look at him he shook his head and puffed out his chest trying to appear more 'manly'.

"Are you positive?" Captain Ukitake gulped. Matsumoto nodded sadly.

"How bad is it?" Captain Unohana asked.

"It's…the flu." Cue more horrified gasps, and one more girly scream. Captain Kuchiki walked towards her then and patted her shoulder with two fingers.

"You have done well, lieutenant Matsumoto. Now leave the rest to us." He said stoically. Matsumoto nodded and gave Captain Kuchiki a teary smile, then promptly left.

"I'm lost. What is a 'code black' and what does it have to do with Captain Hitsugaya?" Captain Hirako asked, scratching the back of his head.

"It was brought to our attention about 2 years after Captain Hitsugaya became captain of the 10th squad. After an incident with a hollow, alcohol and a banana, Captain Hitsugaya came down with a cold. It is very rare when a soul becomes sick, so it was brought to Captain Unohana's attention immediately. It was while he was in the care of the fourth squad that we began to notice strange changes in Captain Hitsugaya's personality. I'm not going to go into details but, frankly put, he scared the living shit out of the healers, Captains Kyouraku, Ichimaru and Kurotsuchi and Lieutenants Matsumoto and Abarai. When Captain Hitsugaya got better and returned to his old self we created 'code black' secretly and hoped that this day would never come again." Captain Komamura explained.

"So, code black is what you call a sick Captain Hitsugaya? Isn't that going a bit overboard?" Captain Hirako asked. Dead silence followed.

"You're lucky you are new." Captain Kuchiki deadpanned. Before he could retaliate Captain Kuchiki turned to the head captain.

"What should we do?" He asked. The head captain contemplated for a moment before standing up.

"We need a hero." Captain Kyouraku moaned.

"No. We need Kurosaki Ichigo."

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Kurosaki Ichigo stood in front of the captains awkwardly, wondering what the hell he was called here for.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, we have called you here today because we…need your help." Captain Kuchiki forced out. Ichigo blinked.

"You are in a relationship with Hitsugaya Toushiro, am I correct?" He continued. A bright red blush stained Ichigo's cheeks and he sputtered.

"What! No…that's not true…what?" Ichigo stuttered, doing shifty-eyes. Byakuya shook his head and sighed.

"We are well aware of your relationship with Captain Hitsugaya and about the fact that he asked you to keep it a secret." Soifon piped up. Ichigo's eyes narrowed.

"How do you know that?" He asked suspiciously. Soifon cackled evilly.

"Nothing is a secret in Soul Society." Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Sure, sure." He muttered, not believing a word she said.

"Captain Kuchiki spends his free time reading romance novels and writing about his feelings in a pink fluffy diary while listening to Celine Dion." Soifon deadpanned. Byakuya's eyes widened and an expression resembling embarrassment flickered across his face.

"Dude, that's some nasty shit. You got issues." Zaraki boomed, a feral grin stretching across his face. The room seemed to darken and a shadow covered Captain Kuchiki's face. Ichigo barely had time to turn and run before he heard an ominous voice murmur: "Scatter, Senbonzakura."

"Freakin' captains." Ichigo muttered as he made his way towards his little ice-captains division. Whatever they had wanted to talk to him about was obviously not that important if they had time to release their shikai on fellow captains.

"Ichigo? ICHIGO!" Someone yelled and ploughed into him, almost knocking him over.

"Rangiku-san?" He asked the strawberry blond who was currently clinging to his stomach.

"Thank god you're here!" She cried, burying her face into his shihakusho.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked her, trying to gently pull her away.

"My captain is sick!" She said, standing up and wiping away invisible tears. Worry wormed its way across Ichigo's face.

"I was just on my way to see him, is he okay?" He asked worriedly. Rangiku shook her head.

"He's refused to come out of his office. Ichigo, you need to take care of him. But just… be careful. Address him as Captain Hitsugaya, don't make direct eye-contact and for the love of god DO NOT ask stupid questions. Good luck!" And with that Rangiku ran off, leaving a confused, startled and slightly apprehensive Ichigo behind.

When Ichigo arrived outside the captain's office, he noticed a clear bottle sitting alone on the ground. Upon further inspection Ichigo noticed it to be some kind of flu medicine. Ichigo made a face, he hated that liquid stuff.

Mentally preparing himself, Ichigo slid open the door and walked inside.

"SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR!" A voice screamed at him making Ichigo yelp and jump back.

"ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF YOU MORONIC TWIT! SHUT THE GODDAMN DOOR!" It screamed again and with the speed of a ninja Ichigo slid the door the shut. A relieved sigh was heard somewhere in the room.

Ichigo openly gaped at the scene before him. The normally open and bright office was now stuffy and dark, no natural light entering the place. Paperwork scattered the floor and some kind of alcoholic drink was spilt across the floor. But sitting in the middle of the room with a blanket wrapped around their body and head, was his baby dragon surrounded by mountains of tissues.

"Toushiro! Are you oka—"

"IT'S CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY IT BEFORE IT SINKS INTO YOUR THICKHEADED SKULL, KUROSAKI!" Toushiro screamed and Ichigo swore he saw steam come out of his nose.

Now Ichigo had seen an annoyed Hitsugaya, an angry Hitsugaya and a downright enraged Hitsugaya but he had never seen this! This…thing was just a downright fucking beast! Swallowing his fear, Ichigo cautiously made his way over to his sick boyfriend.

When Toushiro just stared at him suspiciously, Ichigo kneeled down opposite him.

"How are you feeling?" Ichigo asked softly. Toushiro bared his pearly white teeth.

"I feel like I've got rainbows shooting out of my ass HOW DO YOU THINK I'M FEELING YOU IDIOT!" Toushiro yelled and karate chopped Ichigo on the head.

"Owww, what the hell was that for?" He scowled and glared at Toushiro.

"That was for asking a stupid question you mind-fucked piece of shit!" Toushiro hissed. Ichigo had never heard Toushiro swear this much ever! He was never this vulgar.

"What the fuck do you want, Kurosaki? And make it fast, I've got a very important 'date' with my lieutenant." Toushiro said mysteriously, stroking the hilt of Hyourinmaru threateningly. Shaking his head and trying to be understanding since his lover was no doubt very ill and in pain, Ichigo forced his anger down.

"I'm here to take care of you." Ichigo murmured. Toushiro's eyes softened slightly at the warm look Ichigo was giving him.

"I don't need to be taken care of." He muttered, making Ichigo chuckle and peck his cheek lightly. Toushiro then noticed the vial of liquid that Ichigo was holding in his hand, the temperature of the already cold room plummeted down rapidly. Toushiro scrambled to his feet and stumbled over to his desk.

"Get the fuck away from me with that liquid of death, Kurosaki!" Toushiro threatened. Ichigo stood up and sighed.

"It's not that bad, Toushiro."

"It tastes like ass." He spat, glaring at said 'liquid of death'. Ichigo realized that things would go nowhere if he kept going like this.

"I'm afraid that you have no choice. You will have to drink this, Toushiro or I will make you drink it." Ichigo warned and thanked his lucky stars that Hyourinmaru was on the ground next to Ichigo's foot and not in the delirious captain's hands.

But Toushiro was currently very confused and frightened because he picked up a pen and pointed it threateningly at Ichigo.

"Like hell you will. Sit upon the frozen heavens, Hyourinmaru!" Toushiro yelled, swinging around the pen. When nothing happened Toushiro held up a finger and glared daggers at the object.

"Hyourinmaru…" Toushiro growled. Ichigo cleared his throat and when Toushiro glanced at him, looked pointedly at Hyourinmaru next to his foot. Hitsugaya had the decency to look sheepish.

"Well that was embarrassing." He muttered.

Ichigo saw his chance when the ice captain let his guard down, he pounced. Ichigo tackled Toushiro to the ground, making sure to cushion the small captain so not to hurt him.

"RAPE! RAPE!" Toushiro screamed and using Ichigo's momentary shock, wiggled free and dove for Hyourinmaru.

"Toushiro, don't!" But Ichigo was too late.

"BANKAI!"

Ichigo, being the moron he is, dove forward and shoved the vial in Toushiro's mouth, forcing the liquid down his throat. Toushiro sputtered and gagged as the disgusting medicine travelled down his throat.

"You….bastard!" He growled. Ichigo was hoping that the medicine would break Toushiro's concentration and shatter his bankai but he was terribly wrong.

"You will pay for that, Kurosaki!" He yelled and with a battle cry, charged forward.

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The captains of the Gotei 13 felt the reiatsu of both Hitsugaya's and Ichigo's bankai even from the 1st squad barracks, halfway across Seireitei.

"Do you think Ichigo will be okay?" Shinji asked.

"Probably not. He's going up against a delirious Hitsugaya no doubt doped up on medicine with a bloodlust the size of Zaraki's hair. Kurosaki is fucked big time." Kyouraku deadpanned.

Everyone couldn't help but agree.


I kinda rushed the end, sorry.

Sorry for any mistakes, I am currently going half blind from tiredness.

Please, please review!

Nighty-night.

ZooperDooper.