I don't own Abby and I don't own Gibbs… as much as I would like to. Last I heard, they weren't for sale, so I borrowed them, and they had a little fun in my imagination, but fear not, they'll be back on CBS on Tuesday. I'm not making any money off this, so don't sue. It isn't nice.
The song is 'It's all your fault' by Pink. Have a listen if you've never heard it.
I got the idea for this on the train one day a few weeks ago, but had a hard time putting it down in words. But here it is.
I like reviews and I also like suggestions for other writings, preferably NOT songfics, I have a hard time fitting stories to songs like this. I dunno, but in reality I like all reviews, comments, suggestions, etc. So do it.
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Gibbs had been hit particularly hard by a recent case. A marine's wife and only child had been killed while he was away in Iraq. Gibbs had handled it like any other case, but inside he felt as if he was re-living his past. He listened to the phone call that let the Marine know his family was gone. It was the same phone call that he himself had received 15 years previously. Two weeks later, the case had come to a close, but they heard from the director that the Marine had killed himself; a single gunshot to the head.
Gibbs tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. He listened as Tony and McGee argued over proper technique in picking up women. He didn't bother to tell them to shut up. He didn't really care.
He caught Ziva's eye. She was looking at him curiously; she knew the recent news of the marines' suicide had hit him hard. The case had been hard enough in the first place. He raised his eyebrows at her and she looked away.
He thought back to his time on the beach after he had successfully hunted down his family's killer. He often wondered what caused him to put the gun down, rather than pull the trigger. He had been thinking about that time more and more often, something deep down inside pulling him back to those thoughts, triggered by the recent case.
A few nights a week he would think about pulling out his gun. Thoughts of both Shannon and Kelly consumed him lately. He felt anger start to grow in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to feel anymore.
I'd conjure up the thought of being gone
But I'd probably even do that wrong
I try to think about which way
Would I be able to and would I be afraid
He sat in his basement like every other night, drinking bourbon.
Cause oh I'm bleeding out inside
Oh I don't even mind (yeah)
He had had hope, for a while anyway. The light in the darkness he called life. Abby. She wasn't like the others that had tried to lift him from his sadness. While his three ex-wives became depressed along with him, until they were able to pull themselves away and divorce him, Abby didn't seem to see the depression. She just kept smiling. She called him 'her silver-haired fox'; it was as close to beautiful as he would ever be called.
It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair
He pulled out his gun and held it out in front of him as he sat on his workbench. He observed the black metal, it was clean from the last hundred times he had cleaned it. It was his own personal weapon, not the NCIS issue one he used, this one hadn't been used in years, but he cleaned it often.
It would be so easy to point it at his head and pull the trigger. He had pointed it often enough, he had just never pulled the trigger.
He thought of Abby. She was out on a date tonight; he had overheard her telling Ziva. Her bubbly personality was at full force as she danced around the lab the last time he visited her that day at work. He had brought her one last Caf-Pow as a reward for speedy results.
"Gibbs! How about dinner this weekend"
"We'll see" He didn't say anymore. He kissed her cheek and left. He closed his eyes. Now he was alone in his basement. He knew he couldn't promise dinner over the weekend. He didn't know if there would be a weekend.
I'm trying to figure out what else to say (what else could I say?)
To make you turn around and come back this way
(Would you just come back this way)
I feel like we could be really awesome together
So make up your mind cause it's now or never
He didn't see the slender hand reach out and take the gun from his hand, but the feeling of the gun lifting caused him to open his eyes.
"Abby?"
Her eyes were brimming with tears.
"Abby, what are you doing here?"
"You didn't say yes to dinner this weekend. You always say yes"
He closed his eyes and sighed.
It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you"
"Well you did. Gibbs, you are sitting in your basement with a gun"
"I won't do anything, Abbs, I'm just looking at it"
I would never pull the trigger
But I've cried wolf a thousand times
I wish you could
Feel as bad as I do
I have lost my mind
"No Gibbs, you weren't just looking"
He couldn't deny it, so he stayed silent.
It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold (I hold) my breath (my breath)
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air (running out of air)
And it's not fair
Abby took the gun and set it on the workbench beside him.
"Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Yes"
"Well…?"
"Well, what? I'm here now, Gibbs. I'm not leaving"
"Abby…"
"Gibbs, I love you and I won't leave you here, not like this, not ever"
"Don't say something you don't mean, it's not fair."
Abby moved in front of him. He didn't look up. She pushed his knees apart and stepped between his legs. When he still didn't look up, Abby wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in close. When he finally looked up she took the opportunity to kiss him.
The darkness around him faded the longer her lips were pressed to his. When his mind was finally clear enough to react to the kiss, he urged her on. His lips parted and Abby ran her tongue along his lower lip. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand tangling it's self in her hair, the other curving into her lower back.
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not (it's not) fair
Gibbs was running out of air, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away from her kiss. He was afraid that if he did, there wouldn't be a second one, and that wouldn't be fair. She was perfect, their kiss was perfect.
Abby was the one that finally pulled back. She was crying.
"Abby…"
"It's all your fault. I can't see anyone else, because all I see is you. Now I finally come to you and I find you like this? I can't take this anymore. It's now or never Gibbs"
"Abby…"
"No, it's now or never" she placed the gun back in his hands "Either shoot yourself and get it over with, or you never think about it again. You either kiss me and tell me you love me, or never again Gibbs"
He knew it was now or never.
He set the gun down. With his next move he pulls Abby close, gently touching his lips to hers and murmurs "I love you" before pressing his lips to hers more firmly.
