Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to Lucasfilm. My only profit from writing this story was awakening the force within myself! The entire story is written, so I'll be posting as quickly as I can edit. Please review, fav, or follow if it speaks to you.
Note: This fan fic was heavily influenced by suzezahn's "Into the Fire" and "The Not Quite Love Letters" by limelight (Go read them NOW). And of course the Star Wars films. It was written as part writing exercise and part attempt to process what happened at the end of "The Force Awakens." I was utterly devastated by that ending, completely taken by surprise not only by the obvious but by the huge jagged jump from the original trilogy to that situation. I can now say that I understand it - I've processed it and accepted it through writing this story. To get to that place I had to go back to the beginning. The first half takes place during the original trilogy, and the second half takes place before and during the events of "The Force Awakens". I have never done a longterm project like this for pure pleasure. It has been an absolute joy from start to finish. I hope you enjoy reading it a tenth as much as I did writing it!
Prologue
I learned pretty early on that the only person you could promise anything to was yourself. I tried to make promises when I was younger. To my family, to the spacers guild, to the Empire. But when it all blew up in my face, I had a choice. I could either keep letting them blow pieces off me until there was nothing left or I could blow them off entirely. I think you know what I chose. And it wasn't a bad life.
I promised myself I would never look back. I didn't. I promised myself the fastest ship in the galaxy. I made her. I promised myself the most beautiful women imaginable, and I found them. Sometimes this system would work out better than expected. All I asked for was first mate I didn't want to throw out the air lock, and somehow I ended up with a best friend. Pretty good for a guy who doesn't make promises to people. But then I guess he's a Wookiee.
As I said, it wasn't a bad life. Not at all. I found that if I kept making promises to myself and no one else, I could keep them. I could maintain the delicate balance required for living on the edge. And then I met a couple of dumb kids and everything went to Kest.
Volume I: Leia
Part I - Never Get Involved
That's the secret. If you stay more than one night, a woman might need you. If you share more than one meal with someone, they might think you're a friend. If you park it planet-side too long, you'll find you don't want to leave.
Han repeated these long-known truths to himself as he stared off into the eternal night in front of him. The Princess had flounced off leaving him with a slightly queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"I wonder if he really cares about anything. Or anybody."
Her words hung in the air, reverberating somewhere in his sternum. Damn right he cared about something. Himself. He wasn't stupid enough to get caught up in a doomed war against the greatest power in the universe.
"If money is all you love, then that's what you'll receive."
Fine by me!
"So, what do you think of her, Han?"
The kid was sitting next to him. Han glanced up to see his eager face lit by the glow of the control panel.
"I'm tryin' not to, kid."
Luke turned away, his mind obviously on other, more alluring, things. "Good."
He could see the infatuation laid out like a star map across the kid's face. He would have to learn a better sabaac mask if he was ever gonna make it out there. Han felt a sudden brotherly urge to teach him a thing or two. And a slight itch that pushed him over the edge.
"Still, she's got a lot of spirit," he drawled. The young woman came to his mind's eye, growling at him from across the detention wing, "Well, somebody has to save our skins. Into the garbage chute, flyboy!"
He smirked, truly amused by the fiery spirit of the diminutive royal.
"I don't know whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me..."
"No." The kid cut him off with finality, and Han glanced over to see the shields were finally up on his face. He felt a surge of affection for the boy, almost wishing him luck in his newfound quest for the Princess.
Almost.
Han couldn't help feeling impressed as he gazed at the operation outside the transparisteel of the cockpit. They swarmed like fire ants, rebels of every shape and size from every corner of the universe. He hadn't know there were so many. They were still doomed, but he couldn't help admiring the effort. He'd probably seen more of the dreaded star fleet than any pilot in the galaxy. His life was a constant game of cat and mouse with the Empire. Not many things scared him, but the full power of that fleet did.
"You coming?"
Luke was standing at the entrance of the cockpit, clutching the few belongings he had in the world.
"Yeah, I need to fuel up and collect that reward."
Han laid it out so that neither of them could get confused. He'd get the Falcon in order, find a decent meal for himself, and then fly off with that money as soon as it was in his hands.
The kid gave him a crooked smile and a placating nod.
"Sure, Han. Well, Princess Leia is pacing by the hatchway. She's real eager to..."
"Go get killed with the rest of them?" Han's voice sounded bitter, but he threw the kid a sidelong smirk. "Who am I to stand in her way?" He rose from the captain's chair and rolled his shoulders releasing some of the tension. The kid was already down the hall, no doubt ready to trail after the Princess wherever she went.
"Chewie!" The Wookiee was in the galley, already taking the opportunity to fill his ever insistent stomach. "Stop eating our rations. The least these rebels can do is feed us before we leave." The Wookiee looked ready to argue and then shrugged his shoulders before popping the last gigantic piece of nerf jerky in his mouth.
Han adjusted his gun belt, checking the holster just in case, before rounding the corner to where Luke and the Princess stood by the hatchway. Luke wasn't wrong: she looked more than eager. Energy waves were practically rolling off her like heat off an overtaxed engine.
"Well, Captain, you've certainly kept us waiting long enough. Do you intend to hold me as a hostage until you get the proper sum?"
Han smirked at her. "I have a feeling those rebels are as eager to get you off their hands as I am, your worship. They'd probably pay me to keep that door closed."
"Very funny," she snapped.
"You're right," he said as he hit the code to release the hatchway, "you couldn't pay me enough to do that."
The hatchway lowered with a whoosh. The princess didn't seem to notice as she continued to glare at him.
"Leia!" The overjoyed sound of a male voice immediately dispelled the tension and disproved Han's ridiculous assertion. Someone was happy to see her. The princess turned abruptly and saw whoever had called out to her. A smile of such joy and relief spread over her face that she was completely transformed. Han had seen quite a few sides of the Princess during their intense and narrow escape from the Death Star, but he hadn't seen this. Her icy exterior melted away, and the girl beneath ran down the ramp leaving him feeling oddly bereft.
He followed her with his eyes as she threw herself into the waiting arms of an older man. Something unpleasant slithered through Han's center as he watched their tight hug.
"We thought you were gone! It wasn't until the signal came through that we had any reason to hope. Oh, gods, Leia, your father would be so happy to know that you are safe."
The man made to pull away, but Leia gripped him harder for another moment. He lifted a hand to her hair and mumbled something in her ear. Whatever it was seemed to relax her, and she let him slip away as more rebels rushed into her personal space. As she received hugs and handshakes, Han had a chance to really look at the man who had had called her name.
He was older. Much older than Han had thought at first. If he hadn't mentioned Leia's father, Han might have assumed that's who he was. Hoped that was who he was, a voice whispered somewhere in the back of his mind. It took another second for Han to realize the older man was coming toward him.
He glanced over at the kid, not wanting to get swept up in all of this. Luke looked as eager as Han felt reticent.
"Hello!" The man reached a hand toward Han. "I'm General Rieekan."
Han gripped his hand a bit harder than necessary. "Solo. Captain of this ship."
"Yes, we heard you on the commlink. We cannot thank you enough to for rescuing the Princess. It has been a dark hour for the rebellion, but hearing that she is safe has given everyone some small measure of hope."
Han was truly uncomfortable now. He extracted his hand from the man's grip and gestured toward the kid, "This is Luke. Thank him. He's the hero."
General Rieekan's eyes crinkled in slight confusion, but he smiled over at the young man. Luke held out his hand.
"Luke Skywalker," he said proudly. "I'm a student of Ben Kenobi's."
The General's face changed subtly. The kid probably didn't notice, but Han had grown adept at reading people in the ten years he'd been shirking the system.
"Skywalker." The man's voice was pensive and very interested. He seemed on the verge of saying something more, but then decided against it. He shook the young man's hand vigorously instead.
"Please, accept our most sincere thanks for your efforts. You could not be more welcome among us. You must be exhausted."
"And hungry," the kid supplied with a cheeky smile.
"Of course," the General's good humor showed through his own kind smile, "come with me, and we will see that everything is taken care of."
After they separated from the Princess, Luke and Han were hurried to some living quarters where they were allowed to clean up and change into clean clothes if they wanted. Han wasn't into uniforms, so he kept his garb to himself. Afterwards they were seated at a table with Chewie where a rather terse droid served them a generous meal, nothing fancy but more than enough to satiate the kind of appetite one had after a life and death battle.
The Princess was no where to be seen. Han didn't know what he'd thought would happen once they arrived on base, but her disappearance hadn't been part of it. It annoyed him. Immensely. Was she too good to eat with scum like them? Like him? Or was she avoiding him because she knew he'd be demanding the price he was owed for saving her hide?
Most likely both, his darker side muttered.
Well, she couldn't hide from him forever. He'd find her, get that money, and get the Kest out of here before the hammer fell on all their sorry heads. That thought made him feel a bit frantic all the sudden. He pushed out from the table and tossed his napkin on the plate. Luke glanced up at him questioningly.
"I'm gonna go find the princess," Han said in a gruff voice, "She's got a bill to settle."
Before Luke could voice a protest, Han was out into the nondescript corridor. He glanced back and forth having very little idea which way to go. With a grunt of frustration, he turned right and headed toward the sounds of voices coming from down the hall.
"Han!" The kid's voice rebounded down the corridor. "You know I don't really think this is a good time..."
He caught up to Han as they rounded a corner, and both were surprised to see the crowd of rebel fighters filtering into a room down the hall. The two men looked at each other, making the silent decision to check out whatever was going on. As they approached the group, a voice called out behind them.
"Captain Solo, Skywalker, you found your way to the meeting," General Rieekan strode up to meet them. "I was coming to get you, but the service droid told me you'd gone."
"What meeting?" Han asked, suspicion lacing his tone.
"Our team has analyzed the data from your Artoo unit," Han almost corrected him but let it slide as he saw Chewie round the corner. They'd be gone soon enough.
"Please," the General gestured for them to go in ahead of him.
Luke bounded in like a baby banta immediately looking like he belonged. He greeted the other pilots, sticking out his hand and chattering happily. Han took in the room as he slinked toward a back corner. He couldn't help the spike in his curiosity. This was the heart of the rebel cause - the last place in the galaxy he ever thought he'd be. But, while he was here, he might as well enjoy the show. Besides, there was a good chance the Princess would be a prime player.
As if summoned by his thoughts, her Worship glided into the room at the last moment. She was conversing with yet another older man. He wondered what she'd been doing for the last hour because she obviously hadn't changed. Had she eaten? He shook his head dislodging the fleeting concern. She paused for a moment searching the room. Her eyes first fell on Luke about to take a seat in the middle of the group. He waved at her and she smiled warmly. Han didn't know why he kept watching her. He didn't care if she sought him out. But as her eyes continued to scan, he willed them to land on him.
They finally did, and he felt a strange jolt as they locked on their target. He bowed his head ever so slightly, smirking at the Princess. He didn't receive the same warm smile, but rather a visible intake of breath and a slight, curious frown. The man who was with her touched her arm and gestured for her to move down to the front. She turned just in time for the speaker to step up to the front of the room.
It didn't look good, that was for sure. The data showed a very small chink in the Empire's armor. A thermal vent that was vulnerable to attack. But, the chances of any of these green pilots hitting a mark like that was one in a million. And they knew it too if the nervous swell of voices had anything to say about it. He glanced over at the Princess. So, that's where she'd been: coaxing this information out of the little droid. She glanced over at him and he quickly diverted his eyes.
He had the stupidest idea. And, the more he tried to will it away, the stupider it got.
The meeting disbanded as the leader said something rallying about the Force. Not these nimrods too. No wonder the rebels were running headlong into a suicide mission. They believed some ancient magic would swoop in and save the day. Not likely.
He kept his eyes on the Princess, now for a very clear reason. She was the one who could get him his money. She seemed to have resigned herself to this, waiting for him by the door.
"For a moment, I thought you might actually be planning to help," she said cooly.
Han frowned at her, "How do you know I'm not?"
Where did that come from?
She gazed at him for a moment too long. "I can see the credit signs in your eyes."
He let a out little laugh. "Well, Princess, I guess you really are a politician."
She beckoned for him to follow and led the way out into the corridor. Chewie would be waiting for him back at the Falcon. He let his eyes rest on the very female form in front of him as she made her way through the hall. Though her robes were not what he'd choose, they did lend a certain appeal to the wearer. They swayed and danced, not completely opaque, giving glimpse to the curve of a hip, the shape of a calf.
Stop it, he told himself. If you're gonna do what I think you're gonna do, you better stop looking at her like that.
She turned down another smaller hallway and arrived at a door. Punching in the code, she let it slide open. It was obviously a safe of some kind. Han found himself a little surprised. He didn't really think it would be this easy. Particularly since he knew that rebellions cost money. But, it looked like the Princess really was going to pay him what he'd asked.
Demanded is more like it.
"Your reward is there, Captain. After we got the information from Artoo, it was my first order of business."
She pointed to a modest pile of armored boxes. From experience, Han knew they contained more credits than he'd seen in a good long while. Now that he had what he came for and without any sort of funny business, he couldn't help but feel a bit abashed for his gruffness.
"Well, Princess, I gotta say, I'm impressed."
She stiffened at this.
"Organas always pay their debts."
She spat out the last word like it was poison.
"Then I guess you're an Organa."
She paused then looked slightly pained.
"The last of them." Her words came out much quieter and softer than any before.
He wanted to say nothing. He wanted to take his money and go. Instead, he found himself one step closer.
"Then let's keep it that way, Princess."
Her eyebrows knit together as she looked at him questioningly.
"Look, you're young. No matter how high and mighty you are, you can't have seen as much as I have. This ain't gonna work."
He gestured widely encompassing the whole base and the whole sad effort.
"That weapon is gonna train its sights on this moon. And then that lucky break that you got," they both knew the one he was referring to, "is gonna be for nothing."
She looked like she was about to argue, but he held up a hand.
"I'll take you away from here."
She couldn't have looked more surprised if he'd kissed her.
"I'm sure you got some family somewhere. I know you royals are famous for all that intermarrying. I'll take you to wherever you want to go. Just give Chewie and me a chance to load up…"
"Captain Solo. That's quite enough," her royal coolness was back. "I'll admit, I had some hopes that you would stay. We could certainly use a pilot like you. But, now that I know how you really feel about our efforts, I think it's best you take your leave."
He stared at her. Why did he think she'd have chosen any different? She'd been pretty clear about her feelings towards him from the first word. With more effort than made any sort of sense, he nodded at her and turned toward the beautiful boxes of credit.
These babies never disappoint.
Her voice was so quiet, he almost missed it amid the clamor of voices and machines reverberating through the hallways.
"Thank you, Captain."
By the time he'd processed this and turned around, she was gone. The only remnant of her a faint scent of femininity and a vague feeing of emptiness.
Once again, he was staring into the night. The Falcon had left just before the official deployment. They broke through the atmosphere like a knife through blue butter and hurtled away from the little moon. Han couldn't help the feeling of immense relief as he flew from the doomed rebel base. But, the feeling was fleeting as the faces of his new…acquaintances swam before him.
They'd be dead soon. The thought was chilling and final.
He'd gone through the plans in his head over and over, like a tongue probing at a sore tooth. There was no way that little band of fighters was going to survive the sheer numbers and resources of the Empire. This was their prize weapon, the center of their efforts. They wouldn't leave it unprotected.
So first it would be Luke. Maybe he'd go down in a blaze of fire. Maybe it would be a simple, well-placed blaster bolt. Why hadn't the kid taken him up on his offer? He knew the Princess was a long shot, but he really thought the kid was just looking for some adventure. He could easily have gotten that bounding around the universe on a smuggler's freighter.
But Han had been off the mark again. The kid really was married to the idea of being a hero. Even if it killed him. And after he was gone, how long would it be until the Princess was too? He looked at the chrono on the dash. Precious seconds flicked by as he glided away from the planet, the moon, and that horrible star.
Damn it all to Kest.
"Chewie! Turn around."
The Wookiee looked at him disbelievingly.
[What are we doing?] he bleated. Though Han had a good idea he already knew.
There was a split second in which he could change his mind, in which he could keep cruising forward into the anonymous unknown. But this new kind of gravity was just too strong. With a sigh he cut a look to his partner who was already setting their new course.
"We're getting involved."
