Days of Insanity
Chapter 1 A Good Party
'Thoughts'
[Inner self]
{Demon}
Disclaimer: I don't own the naruto anime or the characters in that story that are mentioned here. Nor do I own Paralyzer by Finger 11
Rated Mature for sexual content, alcohol use, adult content, strong language
"Hey Kaka- sensei did you get the stuff "Naruto says as he prepares his apartment for his party." Would I disappoint you Naruto" Kakashi says as he shows the boxes of alcohol he had brought." Not really but you were late for when I asked you to come here" Naruto says to him." yeah, but least ill be early for the party" kakashi says to him." true, where should we put that stuff" Naruto asks him as he looks at the boxes." In the fridge, lets wait till midnight before chugging booze, at least sakura will be here to help since she should be here around then" Kakashi says as he and Naruto stock the fridge with the mind altering liquid. Kakashi then puts a seal on the fridge." Let me guess so no one parties too early" Naruto says to him." yep, now all we need to worry about is people spiking what ever drinks are put out" Kakashi says." Yeah, once read a good story that dabbled in that once, a chick drank a lot from spiked punch and later became pregnant with her sensei's child" Naruto says to Kakashi." What story is that from" Kakashi asks him." the adventures of Akira and his one eyed weasel" Naruto says to him." oh yeah I like that story, too bad the weasel died late in the series, but still Akira conceived many kids" Kakashi says to him." yeah, you" Naruto is then cut off as the two hear knocks at the door." Its 5 already" Kakashi says as he looks at the clock." Well they do say time flies when you're having fun" Naruto says as he opens the door to reveal Sakura." Hello Naruto "she says behind a wrapped box." Hey Sakura, im glad you're here" he says as he takes the box and places it in a barren corner." That's not all I got you" Sakura says to Naruto." What else did you have for me then" he asks her. Sakura then pulls out a thick envelope and gives it to Naruto." You can look at them now if you like" Sakura says to him." ok what are they" he says as he prepares to open the thing." Hehe naked pictures of me" she says with a giggle causing Naruto to drop the envelope and Kakashi to stare at Sakura." I'm just kidding those are pictures I gathered over the years of us and the village" Sakura says to him causing him to breath with great relief." If you want the real naked pictures" she says as she shows a much thinner envelope" you need to come get them" Sakura then puts the envelope between her breasts and pushes them down far enough so that you can't see the envelope easily. All Naruto and Kakashi can do is stare at Sakura as she does this." Well, what are you waiting for, if you want them come get them" she says teasingly. She then walks to the buffet table and gathers some food." So you want those special pictures of Sakura" Kakashi asks Naruto." I'll need to think about it" Naruto says to him.
'I hope I can make Naruto happy today' Hinata thinks as she hears the party music form Narutos apartment "Well I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you. I wanna to make you move because you're standing still" the music isn't too loud or soft, but just right. She reaches the door and is welcomed by Naruto" Hello Hinata "he greeted her along with a hug." I'm glad you could make it" he then says to her. The two enter the place and Hinata is almost overwhelmed at the sites. All her friends are at the party, even a lot of the teachers are there, though Kurenai isn't there.' I'm not sure I can do this' she thinks as she feels the movement of the confession letter in between her breasts, she and Naruto have had many dates but though they had both enjoy each others company greatly, Narutos heart still could go to another since he and Sakura were also dating, though Naruto was developing feelings for Hinata as time passed on, and Naruto had equal feelings for the both of them, though he had recognized Sakuras feelings sooner and yet had to recognize the feelings for Hinata, inside the feelings for Hinata where stronger.
But for now wasn't the time for those, now was the time of the party." Well enjoy your self Hinata" he says to her as he then kisses her cheek. She light up instantly. Naruto then walked over to Sakura who was having a chat with Kiba on her right side and Chouji on her left." So Sakura those pics still up for grabs" Naruto asks her, the room fell quite." Like I said Naruto" she says as she puffs out her chest" your going to have to take them"." I know…now boys" Naruto says. Sakura and the room are confused until Kiba and Chouji each take one of her arms and locks them." Ah damn you Naruto, your always unpredictable" she curses at him." I know it's a gift" Naruto says as he takes out of pair of tongs and warms them up a little. The room watches with great anticipation as the events unfold, the guys look at the spectacle with interest and the girls disgust." Got it" Naruto says as he fished out the prize, the crowd in the room all stared at the envelope as Kiba and Chouji released Sakura" hehehe even though im pissed, a woman keeps their word, the naked pictures are yours Naruto" Sakura says to him. The boys auk at Naruto and the girls glare at Sakura, Hinata was semi conscious" YOU DID DO IT FORE HEAD" Ino shouted above the music.
" Yeah, I did, I wasn't backing out of the dare you set" Sakura said to Ino. Ino then slumped quietly into the corner." Well Naruto are you going to look at them now or later" Sakura said to Naruto. Naruto then sweat dropped." Shino, you mind checking these out for me" Naruto asked him." why him why not me" Kiba then barked at Naruto." Well for one Shinos the most asexual guy we know and I'm timid to touch this after its been in Sakuras breasts" Naruto says to him." good point but you know Shinos not asexual; he's saving him self" Kiba says to Naruto as Shino steps toward Naruto." That's enough Kiba" He says as he takes the envelope. Shino then opens it and looks in it. Then he closes it and stands still. The tension in the room fills. Then to everyone surprise Shino makes a turn to sprint out of the apartment only to be caught by Kiba and Chouji." Oh damn you narrator this is good shit here, why did you have to do this to me man come on" Shino screams at me." Hey man I'm doing my damn job here, don't yell at me man, why are you arguing with me you got to see Sakura sexy body naked, sort of" my voice is heard from no where." Well its not enough man, and stop trying to play god with us, it pisses me off" Shino yells at me." Shino, listen, right now, I am like you god, though it's no use to worship me, I'm a story teller of sorts, though I have control over you in a way" I say to Shino." Well your story sucks, if I can't get material for a mid night release then it shouldn't be worth reading" Shino whines." What's that, did I hear that someone wanted their testicles to spontaneously combust" I say to Shino. Shino then has a panicked look on his face" NONONONO, let's just get on with the story" Shino says quickly." I shall" I say to Shino. Shino is released from the clutches of the two after Naruto takes back and wipes off the envelope on shinos coat." It was a good try Shino" Kiba says to his team mate." Then why did you aid in my capture" Shino asks him." Naruto told me and Chouji he'd give us each a naked picture of Sakura if we helped apprehend her" Kiba says to Shino." I see, well I would have done the same thing if I were you" Shino says." So Naruto when…" Kiba then stops and looks around for Naruto." Where did he go" Kiba says." I'm right here Kiba" Naruto says as he walks out of his Kitchen." Just looking at the merchandise" Naruto says." I must say Sakura, I didn't take you for one to do beaver pics" Naruto says to her. Ino gapes at Sakura." You didn't" she says shocked." Well I wasn't but when I started taking the pictures, I said to my self, "ah fuck it" when all the way" Sakura says to Ino. Ino again left breathless at the boldness of Sakura.
" Hehehe these are good Sakura, they better views of you then when I got to the women's bath, oh shit" Naruto then covers his mouth at his slip. All the girls stare at Naruto.' Naruto peeps at us in the bath house' Hinata thinks to her self, blushing more." What was that Naruto" Sakura asks venomously." Ah well, might as well tell, sometime ago, I've figured out the prefect way to get into the women's bath" Naruto says to her." You mean you found the prefect way to peep into the women's bath" Tenten asks him." no Tenten, I found out a way to get into the women's bath without getting caught" Naruto says to her. The room is quite for a few moments until Kiba breaks the silence" um Naruto can you show me that way some time" He asks Naruto." Maybe Kiba" Naruto says to him." so Naruto" Ino says questioning" 1 how often do you go into the women's bath,2 have you seen any of us there naked, and 3 who do you think is the best look female there from what you've seen" Ino asks him. The room stares at Ino for a bit." What, any of you would probably ask those questions to him" Ino says out loud with the room nodding." Well Ino 1 surprisingly not often it gets boring after a while, 2 I've seen all the kunoichi in here in there, even Tsunade baa chan and shizune a couple times" Naruto then shivers a bit" and from what I've seen the winner of Naruto's sexiest naked female award obviously goes to" Naruto then turns and faces the female" Hinata" Naruto then says.
' Naruto's seen me naked again, and he thinks I'm the sexiest, don't pass out, don't pass out, don't pass out' Hinata repeats in here head." Why her Naruto" Sakura asks Naruto confused." Well Hinata has great curves, a great fleshy rear, ample but firm breasts and a great smile" Naruto lists off. Hinata then faints from Narutos description of her." Ah man" Naruto says as he sees Hinata passed out. He then picks her up from the floor and carries her to his bedroom" Naruto if you do anything ill" Kakashi says to him." im putting her on my bed so she can rest" he says as he then enters the room." Oh ok, now everyone" Kakashi says as he takes out some beer" who wants booze" he asks the crowd. Then a few mintues later Naruto leaves his bedroom with a crimson face." You ok Naruto" Kakashi asks him." Naurto then shows Kakashi the 'thing' he found when transporting Hinata." Wow, choose wisely Naruto, you know what might happen if you don't" Kakashi warns Naruto.' Yeah I know' Naruto thinks as he walks to give Kiba and Chouji their pics and get him self a drink.' I think I love you Hinata' Naruto thinks to himself.
As the dawn peeled the darkness of night off the village of Konoha, a blond ninja woke up not in the best condition.' Ah, I don't know what pounding is worse, the one in my head, or the one in my nuts, ah too much booze, lucky I have the day off, I think I'll go to the hospital and get a check up' Naruto thought to himself as he lay awake on his floor, the place was oddly clean, and from what Naruto saw, an untouched pile of presents still in the corner he put them in' well least I'll have something to look forward to when I get back home' Naruto thinks as he exits his door.
Tsunade is making some rounds at the hospital to get away from her desk and Shizune' well its not the work she wants me to do but work none the less' Tsunade thinks to her self as unknown to her a nurse walks toward her." Ah Tsunade sama, there you are" she says to Tsunade as she gets close to her." What is it" she asks the nurse professionally." Well a few hours ago, a young man had entered for a non appointment checkup and had complained about a hanger over and pain in his genitals, at first we let one of the male nurses examine him, assuming he was messing with us and being a pervert, but then the claims of his genital pain were then found to be legitimate, and we can't make heads or tails of this situation" the nurse informs her." I see and the patients file?" Tsunade asks her. The nurse then hands her the patients file.' Naruto, heh heh this is a first, well I can give him some pills for his head but I'll need to examine his genitals, hehehe I bet Jiraiya wishes he was Naruto right now' Tsunade jokes in her head.
'Well this seems odd' Tsunade thinks as she examines Naruto's testicles, which had some difficultly since Naruto kinda twitched around as she held then.' The pain the pain the pain the pain the pain ahhhhh' Naruto thinks as Tsunade continues to examine them. Tsunade then lets go of Naruto and removes her latex glove then disposes it." Well Naruto, I think I have a diagnoses for the problem with your family jewels" Tsunade says to him." yeah tell me what is it so I can stop the pain" Naruto says quickly as he slows puts his pants on." Your pain is the resulted of excessive ejaculation over a very short amount of time" Tsunade says to him. Naruto nods understanding" so basically its overuse" Naruto asks her." Yep" she replies as she jots down notes on her clip board." You serious, I've had days were I have had nearly 20 or more ejaculations and I didn't have this kind of problem, some arm ache and other masturbation related problems but never this" Naruto says as he gets up Tsunade is astonished at what Naruto had claimed." Well I guess you had more then 20 or more ejaculations last night then" Tsunade says to him." possibly, but I don't remember last night, Chouji and Kiba had me do a beer bong then I blacked out and woke up on my living room floor" Naruto says to her in a bit of a panic." Maybe you had a lot of sex with someone Naruto" Tsunade says to him to try and calm him down a bit. At the mention of the word sex Naruto pauses for some thoughts, and after a few moments he had a look of panic and doom in his eyes." Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god what have I done, I've betrayed her" Naruto says as he falls to his knees with tears in his eyes. Tsunade then goes over to the crying Naruto." Betrayed who Naruto" the busty blond asks the tearful one." Hinata, I fell in love with her and then did all those things while she slept, ah Baa chan please kill me" he looks at Tsunade tearfully." Tsunade quickly steps back from the nearly hysterical male." The fuck Naruto, calm down I'm sure it wasn't that bad you'd would want to die and not have her know" Tsunade says to the teen." Oh but it is baa chan it is" he crys to her." Ok Naruto tell me what happened that you would rather die then face Hinata will" Tsunade asks him.
A nurse strolls by carrying medical files." ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NARUTO UZUMAKI, YOU LITERALLY DID THAT "Tsunade screams in the office. Naruto gazes at the woman in all her furry with no fear for that void is already filled with guilt and shame." Yes Tsunade, I did" Naruto confesses from the bottom of his heart again to the woman. Tsunade paces the room for a little bit." Ok Naruto, what do you plan on doing next" Tsunade asks him." I don't know Tsunade sama" Naruto says weakly to her." Ah Naruto" Tsunade says gruffly.['hahaha opportunity'] the demon brooded in his prison.[Naruto, are you sure that those girls weren't around their monthly vistor, aye Naruto] the fox says slyly to the teen. As Naruto hears this from the kyuubi no yoko new fear is spawned in his mind and soul about how he had hurt Hinata more." Tsunade sama" Naruto says darkly to the woman scaring the shit out of her."y-y-y-yes N-Naruto" fearing the words ushered by the teen." Listen very clearly, I'm going to give you a list of the females I had…relations with, I want you to do pregnancy tests under the disguise of a physical" Naruto asks her." Naruto, you can't order me to do shit, but for various reasons I will do what you ask, and besides, most of the kunoichi are late for a physical anywaayyy" she is then tackled by the teary eye teen." Thank you Tsunade baa chan, you're the greatest" he says to her with tears still in his eyes. Her arms then snake around Naruto as she holds him into a motherly embrace" you're welcome Naruto" she says to him kindly.
