Okay, so originally, this was supposed to be a smut fic, but it's been sitting in the documents folder for at least a year. So… instead of actually following through with the smut, I decided to end it before my terrible writing of smut ruined the entire thing.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Raven Cycle or any of its characters.
Reckless Behavior
"I'm so done!" Blue cried, crashing through the door to Monmouth Manufacturing. Kicking off her shoes, they sailed over Gansey's unmade bed, landing in the mist of several book towers. Jerking off her socks, she threw them on the floor before flopping onto the bed beside Gansey with a huff of frustration.
Gansey, blinking rapidly, stared through the gloom to the girl at his side. "Why?" he asked simply, glancing out the window to the dark clouds hanging low in the sky. They threatened another summer thunderstorm. At any moment, the clouds could snap and release a torrential downpour of rain backlit by flashes of lightning. The trees were already bending under the pressure of the howling wind. She ran all the way here just to rant?
When his eyes returned to her, his breath caught in his chest as they locked with hers.
"Because I'm so sensible," she growled bitterly, burying her face in his pillow.
Gansey was silent for a long moment. "That is not a bad thing," he finally said.
"All I ever here is 'You're such a sensible teen, Blue', 'You're so sensible', 'I wish I could be as sensible as you, Blue'," Blue mimicked in the voices of her classmates and Calla and Persephone and even Mr. Gray. "But I don't want to be sensible." The edge in her voice had dissipated leaving her sounding tired.
"What do you want to be?" he asked, ignoring the violent buzzing of his cell between them. If it was important, the person would leave a message.
"I want to be normal, a normal psychic, a normal teenager who is able to normally kiss whatever boy she likes without having to worry if she's going to cause his death. I want to not have to be sensible all the time," she said, turning her eyes back to his.
Averting his eyes, Gansey stared at the rafters high above his head, looking for a way to reply. "It's alright, I think, to be reckless every once in a while," he said slowly, thoughtfully. The bed shifted beside him, but he didn't look over.
Suddenly, Blue filled his field of vision, black tendrils of hair framing her face, reaching for him. She wore the most thoughtful expression he'd ever seen on her face. It was devoid of hesitation, filled with insatiable curiosity, with insatiable hunger. She trailed a slim finger down the middle of his chest, following its path with her eyes. "If I told you that I wasn't feeling very sensible today, what would you tell me?"
Gansey's mouth went cotton dry. Swallowing with difficulty, a difficulty he seemed to only develop around Blue on rare occasions, he said, "That would depend entirely on your actions in that moment."
"Did you know that the bellybutton is an erogenous zone?" she asked with far too much seriousness for the type of question. Moments later, she dissolved into giggles, shaking her head against his arm, hand pressed flat against his abdomen.
"No, why do you know that?" he asked, feeling the heat of her palm seep through his t-shirt and the layers of his skin, spreading to his core. He couldn't help but notice that her fingers were uncomfortably close to his bellybutton.
Blue shrugged, trying to suppress her grin. "Reading. School. An interesting tool known as the Internet."
Gansey raised an eyebrow. "We need to have a talk about what you are learning in school and what exactly you look at."
She shrugged again, lifting her head to stare out the window. Curling her fingers, she gently ran her nails along his stomach, moving past his bellybutton and along his lower abdomen, making his muscles spasm and retreat from her touch. She didn't seem to notice as she tilted her head, resting her cheek against Gansey's shoulder.
He sure as hell noticed though. Sucking in his stomach, he tried to shrink away from her hand and further into the bed. Her fingers were heading for a place he wasn't entirely sure he wanted them to go. Wanting a kiss was one thing. This, this was something entirely different. "Jane," he mumbled, heat flushing his cheeks. She had him pinned with her hand and most of her weight resting over his side. There was no way he'd be able to escape. Grabbing for her hand, she simply twisted her wrist out of his damp palm.
"I think… I'm feeling very… reckless today," she murmured slowly without looking at him.
Gansey swallowed again. "Jane, I think it's time that you go home. I can drive you." He made to get up, and suddenly she was filling his field of view once more.
Before he had time to protest, Blue straddled his hips, slipping her hands under his shirt. Beneath the fabric, his skin was heated with embarrassment and something Gansey was trying extremely hard to repress, and was growing warmer with every passing second. Pushing her finger up along his chest, she inched his shirt higher, exposing the tanned skin beneath.
"Jane, stop. You don't want to do this," Gansey said less sternly than he'd planned. "You… you can't do this anyway."
Blue sighed, pausing her fingers over his heartbeat. It was fluttering, beating quickly as if trying to run away from something. "I do actually," she replied, staring down at him, "I won't kiss anyone, but… that doesn't mean other things are excluded."
"But kissing is an integral part of these kinds of things," Gansey shot back, pressing his hands over hers, engulfing them. Of course they'd find some way to start an argument even in a situation like this.
Blue rolled her eyes. "Gansey, please, people have sex without kissing all the time."
"Then that's only for pleasure. Don't you want… something more?"
Dropping her eyes, Blue whispered, "I would hope that… there would be something more. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm not with one of the boys from school." Slowly, she started to swing her leg back over to join her other leg.
Irrational irritation coursed through him at the thought of her with one of those boys. Someone who didn't or wouldn't even respect her or her family. Someone who didn't even know her like they did. He grabbed her calf, pulling her back to where she had been. "There is something more here. I don't…" He paused, trying to squeeze the words past his lips. "I don't want you to be with one of them."
Blue's eyes flickered back to his, sparkling with something he couldn't identify. "Are you sure?" A grin threatened to appear on her mouth.
Breathing deeply, Gansey nodded. "I... I want you here."
Grinning, Blue slid her fingers further up his chest, hooking the tips over the edge of his shoulders. "So you won't mind if I..." With one quick motion, she pulled his shirt over his head, chucking it at the floor.
Gansey's eyes were wide with surprise. 'Did Blue just guilt trip me into taking her v-card? What world am I living in?'
Letting her eyes flutter shut, Blue leaned forward. All she wanted to do was to run her lips across his skin, press them to his, but she held herself back, instead pressing her cheek to the place over his heart. "Are you nervous?" she whispered, "You're heart is beating fast."
Her breath slipped across his skin, sending a shiver down his spine. "Yes," he admitted, placing his hands cautiously on her hips, "Wouldn't anyone?" His thumbs found the small strip of flesh between her shirt and drooping waistband, gently rubbing circles into her soft skin. When she didn't push his hands away, he moved them up under her shirt, resting against the curve of her waist.
Really, he had no idea what he was doing. Sure he'd dated, but he'd always been so obsessed with Glendower that it had never gotten to this point. His relationships had never lasted that long, a few weeks at most. If he were honest, he'd never really thought of this before.
"I guess so. You know, you're so awkward," Blue laughed.
"Isn't that supposed to be your job?" Gansey asked, voice wavering.
Blue lifted her head, glaring at him. "Don't gender role me." She pushed her torso upright, staring down at him. Never breaking eye contact, she grabbed the edge of her shirt, pulling it over her head.
His hands on her waist tightened as he stared at the simple purple bra with the small lavender bow between her breasts. This was the most he'd ever seen of her skin. He wanted to see more. He wanted to know what every inch of her looked like, what every inch of her felt like.
Blue's eyebrows rose high, a smirk twisting her lips. "Look who's the blushing virgin now."
Scowling, a little irritated with the taunting and teasing, Gansey took a tighter hold of her hips and flipped her onto her back. Her face flushed a bright, strawberry red as he kneeled between her legs. They stared at each other, barely able to breathe, barely able to thinking. "What do we do now?"
Staring up at him, her eyes wide, Blue shook her head. "I don't know. You think I read or watch porn? No. I was just going off of my gut feeling."
He could only sigh. Unlike her, he had watched some porn simply out of curiosity, but the fact that he knew it was faked and absolutely unrealistic meant it was no help what-so-ever. If Ronan were here… no, he still wouldn't go to ask him for advice. Running a hand through his hair, he thought of what he could do. They were both still wearing their shorts and she was still wearing her bra. After that, he wasn't sure how to even start this, whatever this was.
With quavering fingers, he fumbled with the clasp of her pants. Why the hell couldn't he undo her pants? He couldn't be defeated by fabric and metal! Was every guy this uncoordinated? Frustration flitted through his system.
Laughing, Blue pushed his hands out of the way. Her hands shivered with the amount of nervous energy coursing through her veins, but she managed to unclasp her shorts on the first try. She reached forward, unclasping Gansey's shorts as well, pulling down the zipper. Her lips quivering, she stared at the triangle of blue boxers that was visible.
Gansey hooked his fingers into the waistband of her shorts, slipping under the elastic of her panties, lightly tugging at the fabrics. They slipped over her hips, easily sliding down her legs and off her feet.
Keeping her knees pressed together, Blue let her legs drop. "I think it's your turn."
Gansey shook his head. His fingers shaking just the slightest bit, he slipped them between her knees, gently tugging them apart.
Blue gasped loudly, her body flushing with heat, as the cold air pressed against her. Looking down her body, she noticed his head dipping lower. "Gansey," she said, her voice warning, reaching to stop him.
"This is different than a kiss, Jane, but I'll be careful of the placement of my lips," he said, taking hold of her hand and lacing their fingers together. He waited until she nodded to drop down between her legs.
Breathe shuddering between her lips, Blue whispered, "What's the definition of a kiss?"
Gansey, his fingers tightening on the smooth outer of her thighs, said, "I'd think you'd be more versed in that than I would be."
A tremor rocked through Blue's body as the whisper of Gansey's breath on her, short circuiting her brain. "I-I-I can't think of it. I don't know."
"To touch or caress with the lips as a sign of affection," he supplied, inhaling deeply. He really had no idea what he was doing. "If I do anything you don't like, tell me to stop."
"I don't think I'll be stopping you," Blue stammered, her breath hitching in anticipation, "You are the one you knows what you're doing."
Gansey smiled wryly, looking up her body and her, and what a sight she was. "Actually I don't know what I'm doing Blue. This is sort of an experiment."
Blue laughed, her body shivering beneath his hands, "Oh, that sure is reassuring." She could feel the conviction, determination, and bravery she'd entered the room with returning to her full force. "Just remember that this will probably be the only chance you get to do this. So make it worthwhile. I don't have the hankering for being reckless often."
"That's not fair at all, Blue. If I'm good, will you let me do it again?"
Blue laughed harder than she had before, her entire body shaking from the force of it. She pressed a palm over her scarlet cheeked face. "That sounds like something Ronan would say." She looked down her body at him, the entirety of her flesh flushing from the heat that raced across her cheeks. "We'll see."
"That is a dangerous sport you're playing, Blue."
"My life is a dangerous sport. I just deciding to finally join the offensive."
…..
The air around them was thick, sticky and humid with their breath and the storm outside. Rain pounded the windows, reaching for Blue, but stopped only by the thin sheet of glass that stood between them. It pounded against the window mercilessly, looking to break through to her.
"What are you doing?" Gansey mumbled, wrapping a blanket around her bare shoulders as lightning flashed across the dark sky.
She shrugged. "Thinking."
"About?"
Blue was silent for a moment. "Everything is changing, isn't it? Everything that happened with Ronan and Kavinsky, Mr. Gray and my mom, Calla and Persephone, Adam and Noah, you and Glendower, will all change everything. Everything is going to change faster than we can blink."
"You too,"Gansey told her, watching the hills through the downpour, "You're as much a part of this as the rest of us."
Sighing, Blue turned from the windows, a flash of lightning back lighting her. "Maybe you should check your phone. Someone's been trying to call you this entire time. I don't think your phone has stopped vibrating this entire time." She crawled back into the bed, tossing his cell onto his pillow.
"If it's important, they'll come and find me," Gansey said, following her back to the bed and sliding his phone onto his discarded shorts.
…..
"What the fuck, Gansey? I've been calling you for the past two hours," Ronan shouted as he slammed through the door into Monmouth. He stomped across the room towards Gansey's bed, stepping over Blue's clothing without wondering why they were there. "What the fuck have you been doing…" His voice trailed off as he came up to the edge of the bed, staring down at the small body curled beneath the covers there.
Blue lay on her side, her head resting close to Gansey's hip. Her fingers were loosely laced with his. The sheets were pulled up beneath her arm. Her chest moved slowly and evenly, undisturbed by Ronan's sudden entrance.
"You've been doing her," he said casually, as if he wasn't internally screaming with surprise. "Did you kiss her?"
Gansey sat beside her, his elbows resting on his thighs, his face cupped in his free hand. "Could you please not yell? She's sleeping. And if you must know, no, I didn't."
"She doesn't seem to mind," Ronan said, brushing a messy strand from her face. "Why do you look like you want to throw yourself off of the nearest bridge?"
"I shouldn't have done this," Gansey muttered, self-hatred soaking his words.
"Why? I know that all of you have wanted into her pants since the beginning, but Noah is dead and Blue didn't want Adam's dick," Ronan said, smoothly excluding himself from the love square. "If she wasn't drunk and she was willing, there should be no problems."
Gansey shook his head, sighing loudly. "She wasn't thinking straight. I should have told her to go home and sleep." He paused. Well, he had told her to go home, she just hadn't listened. "I should have made her go home."
Ronan frowned, still staring down at the girl his three friends were pining over. "What? Was she high or something? If she was, then yeah, you should have just taken her home."
"No!" Gansey snapped, jerking his head up towards him, "She was upset. Do you really think I'd take advantage of a drunk or strung out girl?"
Ronan dropped onto the edge of the bed. "No, I don't. So what's the big deal? Why are you going all Mary Sue on us?"
Gansey groaned. "Because it's wrong."
"How? She was willing, you were willing. You both wanted it. I don't see the problem."
"You know, I hate you sometimes?" Gansey asked without malice or conviction.
From between them, Blue spoke up, "You know, I hate you both right now. Can you shut up? I'm trying to sleep. You can agonize over your life choices silently. You don't even have a reason for why you think it was wrong." For someone who'd just woken up, she was rather coherent and demanding. "Ronan, if you're not going to shut up and lay down, go away."
"Fine, Princess, I'll get out of your way and let you screw your damsel in distress," Ronan said, standing and walking back towards the door. He did not want to be there if those two were going to be naked in the next room. He'd probably end up at Parrish's trying not to spill the new developments to him anyway.
"Thank you!" Blue shouted sarcastically, throwing her arm across Gansey's chest as the door slammed, dragging him back to the bed. She rested her chin on his shoulder, wishing again that she could kiss him. "Can you please stop freaking out over this?"
"But it was-"
"Please?" Sighing, Gansey nodded in resignation, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. "Thank you." They were silent for a few moments, listening to each other's steady heartbeats. "Do you think he's gone to tell Adam?"
"Definitely." They sighed, settling into their combined warmth. Outside, the rain was beginning to let up, but the storm had only just begun.
Well, this ended up a whole hell of a lot longer than I'd originally meant it to, even when I was planning for it to be smut, but whatever. There it is. It was actually a lot more fun to write without having to worry if I was making the sex worth reading. I'd love to hear what you guys thought!
