Summary: Daniel tells Jack about Janet's death. Missing moment from part 2 of "Heroes," season 7.

Heartache
PenPatronus

In some state of mind between sleep and wakefulness, Jack O'Neill realized that he was in the SGC infirmary. He felt the sheet beneath his chin and the tubes in his arms and nose. His body felt heavy, crushed, like he was trapped under two or three Teal'cs. And then he heard Carter's voice, followed by Daniel's.

"Has Woolsey interviewed you yet?"

"You mean interrogated? No. I'm scheduled to meet with him right now, but I'm staying here."

"I'm leaving to go tell Cassie."

Jack forced his eyes open. Through the curtain of his lashes he saw Carter and Daniel standing at the foot of his bed. She was in a thin sweater and jeans. He was in a blue uniform, his brown hair still wet from a recent shower.

"You're going right now? Someone should go with you. Sam, I can leave for-"

"Both Teal'c and General Hammond are coming. You should stay with the colonel, Daniel. He might wake up soon."

"Sam..."

Jack pried his eyes open further. His vision was blurry and dizzy. He watched as Daniel took Sam in his arms and hugged her tightly.

"Daniel," Sam hiccupped after several moments, "I'm sorry that I only say this when—when things like this happen, but I-"

"I love you, too," Daniel said.

Jack watched Carter cry for a moment, then she wiped her eyes and forced a smile. "I'll probably be with Cassie all night. Call me when Colonel O'Neill wakes up?"

Daniel nodded. "Give her a hug from me."

After Sam left, Daniel collapsed into a chair beside Jack's bed, raised his face towards the ceiling and sighed. Then he took his glasses off, set them on the bedside table and put his face in his hands. He sat completely still for so long that Jack thought he'd turned to stone. Then, suddenly, Daniel reached out and wrapped his hand around Jack's wrist. Even though the heart monitor was beeping loudly and consistently, Daniel felt for Jack's pulse. When he found it he leaned forward and rested his forehead on the edge of the bed. He closed his hand around Jack's wrist and left it there. Then he released a single, wet sob of grief.

The sound woke Jack out of the last of his stupor. Adrenaline flashed through his veins and he woke up completely. Jack flipped his arm over and slid his wrist out of Daniel's grip, and his hand into it. He squeezed Daniel's fingers and whispered, "Danny-boy?"

Daniel raised his head, wiped his eyes and put his glasses on. "Jack?"

Jack gulped a deep breath of air and gathered his strength for a sentence. "What's going on?" he whispered.

Daniel jumped up, turned toward Jack and immediately kneeled beside the bed so that he was face to face with him. "Oh my god, Jack." Daniel cupped O'Neill's face with both of his hands. "How are you? How do you feel?"

Jack tested his body by wiggling. He wiggled his toes, knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, hands and head. "I feel…" Jack squinted his eyes and winced. "I feel…ouch…Daniel, my gut hurts like hell…"

Daniel smiled slightly. "I know."

"What happened?"

Jackson licked his lips and sighed. "We were on P3X-666, remember? You got hurt: staff blast to the stomach and chest. Your surgery lasted six hours."

Jack frowned. "Surgery? I don't…I don't remember getting hit. Daniel, if I got hit there by a staff blast, I should be dead."

"You have Dr. Lee and his team to thank for that. This was the first field test of the new vest inserts. If you'd just had Kevlar, you'd be dead."

"Then I take back every nasty thing I've ever said about the guy. Well, almost every nasty thing…" Jack winced and shifted his weight to a more comfortable position. "Still feel pretty beat up, though…"

Daniel folded his hands under his chin and rested his arms on the mattress, his nose only six inches away from Jack's. "You're gonna be ok. Full recovery."

"Grand. Swell." Jack tipped his chin at the door to the isolation room. "I heard you and Carter. Is something wrong with Cassie?"

Tears bloomed out of the corners of Daniel's eyes. He bit his lower lip and looked away. "Jack, you're exhausted. You lost a lot of blood. You need to rest."

Jack tried to turn onto his side, but the pain was too great. He released a hiss, then said, "Daniel, what's going on?"

"I really don't want to tell you until you're stronger." Daniel wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "You're going to be ok, Jack, but—"

"Daniel," Jack snapped.

Daniel pursed his lips together. His chin quivered slightly before he set it again. "Janet was killed."

Jack released a forceful exhale that briefly fogged up Daniel's glasses. "What?"

"During the rescue mission. We were on the planet, stabilizing Wells, the SG-13 kid who was wounded. One of the Jaffa got off a lucky shot. She died instantly."

Jack observed the deep lines of anguish in his friend's face. He had seen a version of the look in Daniel's eyes before, when he busted into a tent and found Daniel lying beside Sha're's body. O'Neill whispered, "You were with her?"

Daniel nodded. He didn't bother to wipe away the tears anymore. "We were both leaning over Wells. A foot to the left and the blast would have hit me instead of her. Sometimes I wish…"

"Don't say it," Jack whispered. "Don't even think it."

Daniel looked up at the ceiling, then down at the floor, anywhere but at Jack. "She's dead," he whispered.

"She's dead…" Jack repeated. "Aww, Doc…" He shut his eyes.

For a long moment the two men sat in silence. Jack kept his eyes closed and his expression a permanent frown. Every few seconds his brow wrinkled in either pain or emotion. Finally, Jack opened his eyes and said, "She was great. She really was great."

Daniel sniffed. "Yeah. Yeah, she was."

"Cassie…Cassie! Oh god, what about her?"

"Sam will take care of her until things get settled. And then…then we'll probably try to find someone else to adopt her. I don't know…I haven't been thinking that far ahead." Daniel sighed. "I feel for her. I lost my parents, then went from foster home to foster home. I'd hate for Cass to have to go through the same thing."

Jack mimicked his sigh. "We'll get her taken care of." He stared at Daniel for a long minute, studying him. "More?"

Daniel coughed away the remaining emotion in his voice. "More what?"

"There's more. Something else happened. Wells?"

"Wells is fine."

"Teal'c?"

"Fine."

"Is Hammond being investigated?"

Daniel snorted slightly. "The NID is here talking to everyone."

"And?"

Daniel's eyebrows hopped up. "And?"

"Daniel, we've been friends for a long time. Best friends. I can tell when you're upset about something, and not telling me." Jack rolled his eyes. His strength was waning and he took a deep breath to focus his thoughts. "I'm not going to get anymore rest until you tell me what's wrong."

"Jack…" Daniel's nostrils flared. He sat back, rotated his shoulders, then leaned forward again so that the two men were looking straight into each other's eyes. "After we retreated…I carried Janet's body through the Gate…and when I got to the SGC, there you were lying on the ramp, bleeding. Sam was sobbing, calling your name. You were coding. Your heart had stopped."

Jack's only reaction was a slow blink.

"I'd just seen Janet die, and I thought I'd lost you, too. I thought we were going to have two funerals. My heart still hasn't stopped beating double time."

Jack nodded and whispered, "Yeah. That would've been my reaction if I'd seen you."

Daniel's Adam's apple bounced. He nodded, and looked away. "I'm glad you're going to be all right."

Jack nodded, then closed his eyes. He was quiet for a few minutes. Daniel thought he'd fallen back asleep, but then he said, quietly, "I'll miss her."

"Me, too." Daniel took Jack's arm.

"You'll be here when I wake up?" Jack whispered, his eyes still closed.

Daniel squeezed his hand. "Promise."

Before he fell asleep, Jack remembered what Sam had said before she left the room. "Daniel," he whispered, "I'm sorry that I only say this when things like this happen-"

"I love you, too," Daniel said.

The End