The party had gone better than I could have expected. Aunt Alice had the whole house decorated to the nines, which of course was something that no one could talk her out of. She kept her excuse that I wouldn't be turning 18 ever again. And it was true. I never would, nor would I ever really turn 19. I suppose I could always celebrate the year that had passed, but my body would never show the wear from here on out, so what would be the point. It was funny to think that I was now the age of my parents, physically. Actually, sitting here thinking about it, I was older than my father now. Physically though. I had to keep reminding myself that. He may appear to be a high school student, but no one could dispute that he had been around for much longer than that. Everyone in my family had.
As I sat on the couch the morning after the party, thinking about my family and about the night before, I couldn't help but smile. My family was definitely NOT the norm. We ranged from all different ages, to all different species. I could picture my grandpa Charlie, a human, with a huge smile on his face and he danced the night away with his new wife Sue. They were so happy together, and I was happy for them. Of course this now made me related to Leah and Seth by marriage, but the bond between the werewolves and the vampires had become only stronger since I had entered the picture, and that was all thanks to Jacob. MY Jacob. My protector and my best friend. Strange to think that him and my mother had at one point been in love. And even stranger to think that as I watched him last night, my view of him was suddenly changing.
That is what brought me to the couch this morning, gazing out of the front window. Jacob had always been near me. From the day I was born to, well now. He had only left my side a few times and that was only to take care of his pack. After all, he was the alpha male now, and he did still have a job to do. I had always thought of him as mine, but last night the term mine, had suddenly shifted. As I watched him, I found myself taking in every detail of his golden skin. The way that his dark black hair was cut and arranged into messy spikes. They way he smiled…which last night had made me want to melt. I even noticed how his eyes sparkled when he looked at me. Was this the way that he had always looked at me? How could I have missed that? And I couldn't shrug of the butterflies that formed in my stomach last night when he smiled at me. I chewed absently on my nails as I made my way through all the memories from last night. I didn't hear my mother enter the room.
"Nessie?" My mom sat on the edge of the couch next to me, "Is everything okay? You seem to be in deep thought."
It was then that I was very glad that my father was on an errand with my uncle Emmet. He would no doubt be able to tell right away what was going on in my head. I hated when he read my thoughts.
I looked at my mother, taking in the beauty of her. I would never get over the way she looked. Beautiful beyond imagination. "No mom. I am fine, I think. I was just going over all the details of last night. It was a great party wasn't it? Alice sure does know how to throw one."
My mother smiled casually, "She sure can. That was always the one thing that I couldn't deal with very well. She loves to party…oh and shop." We both laughed at that, remembering all the many times that she had dragged us off to Seattle to shop. "But I can tell that there is something else Ness. You never concentrate that hard unless something is bothering you."
I sighed and let myself rest against the back of the couch, "I feel like a lot of things are changing now. I mean, I LOOK 18, but it's hard to believe that I have only been alive for 7 years. But with those 7 years, I feel like I have grown mentally and emotionally so much that I am much older than my appearance. It's just odd to think about it that way sometimes, and until last night, I really hadn't thought about it." I chewed on my lip, "Plus….I noticed….well I noticed some things about Jacob last night that I have never noticed before."
My mother smoothed the hair back from my face, "I was wondering when you would start to see it." She sighed and then smiled. "I suppose it's time to let you in on something. Now that you are old enough."
I curled my legs underneath me and looked expectantly at my mom. She smiled tentatively, "I wish that your father was here. Then I wouldn't feel like I was breaching some kind of trust. But, you need to know sooner than later, especially before Jacob comes back from hunting." She made it look like she was getting comfortable on the couch next to me, which we both knew was just for show. Mom could sit or stand in any position for hours and it wouldn't bother her. "Nessie, when you were born, well a lot of things happened. We have shared most of it with you and obviously you have shared a lot of it with us. But there is one thing that we kept from you until now." She took a deep breath, "You have always thought of Jacob as YOUR Jacob, and you know that he has always been around you…being your protector and best friend. Well there is a little more to that than you think. See, werewolves have something happen to them called imprinting. It's almost like love at first sight, in fact it's a great deal like it. When a werewolf finds who he should be with, who he is fated to be with, it's called imprinting. It takes over their lives and nothing can shake them from that person."
I looked at my mom, eyes wide, "You mean to tell me……" I didn't even know how to say it, "You mean that Jacob, my BEST friend, he….he…..well you mean to say that he imprinted on ME?" I was having trouble comprehending the words that I knew were true.
My mother took my hands, trying to soothe the shakes from them, "Yes Nessie. That is exactly what I am telling you. I mean come on, you were bound to figure it out one day soon. Why would Jacob be around here otherwise? It's not for me, that ship has sailed."
I curled my legs deeper into my chest and chewed on my bottom lip. My mother sat silently, watching me, letting me mull things over in my head. I was half mumbling to myself, but I knew that mom could hear me as well. "Well I guess that makes sense why I noticed things last night. Makes sense why I got butterflies in my stomach…..I just never expected…" My thoughts were interrupted suddenly, as the doorbell chimed. I knew who it was, there was no doubt in my mind. All of a sudden all I could think about was what I must look like. I have never cared before that Jacob had seen me just as I rolled out of bed, but now it took on a whole different perspective. I leapt from the couch, "Mom, keep him busy please. I need to do a few things before I see him." My mother smiled casually and nodded. "Hurry back Ness. He won't want to wait long."
I couldn't believe that I was overreacting so much. This was Jacob. Good, old, best friend Jacob. There was nothing to be nervous about. Yeah right, I thought. I pulled a brush through my dark brown curls, well as much as the curls would allow, and pulled my old ruddy night shirt over my head. What to wear? I pulled open my Alice approved closet and searched quickly though the many outfits that she made sure I had. I knew that Jacob was always casual and so I chose my skinny leg jeans and a slightly red, button up shirt. I left my feet bare and once again looked myself over in the mirror. I applied some toneless lip gloss and sighed. That will have to do.
My hands would not stop shaking as I walked towards the family room where I knew he would be waiting. What would I say? How would I react? I had never been in a situation like this before. It always seemed so natural, to watch the way my mother and father were, but that was them. This was me. Jacob and me. I tried to breathe easily, trying unsuccessfully to calm my wild heart. I heard my mom and him in light conversation. They still acted like best friends, which was a good thing. Made things a little easier on the whole parent part. I took one last deep breath and then crossed the room to the couch where Jacob was sitting.
My mother looked up at me as I entered and then smiling, stood up. "Well I have some things that need to be tended to before Edward gets home. Jacob, as always, nice to see you." She grabbed my hand and squeezed lightly as she left the room. Jacob looked up at me, smiling. My heart started thumping wildly again. How was he doing that to me? Just the other day I would have slapped him five and sat down next to him, today I was just standing shyly in front of him.
He gave me a weird look, "You feeling okay Nessie?" I nodded as casually as I could. "Well then get over here and give me a hug." He grabbed my hands, pulling me towards him until I literally fell on top of him, sitting in his lap. My heart raced. I wondered if he could feel that. He squeezed me tightly in his heated arms and then pushed me back so he could look at my face. "You sure you are feeling okay?" Could he not feel the electricity that pulsed through my body when he touched me?
I let out the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding, "Yes Jacob. I am fine. I am sure." Oh how I just wanted to wrap myself in those big muscular arms. I could not believe the feelings that I was having. I was almost ashamed of myself. Almost.
I pushed myself unwilling away from him and sat back on the couch. He watched me casually, throwing his arm around the back of the couch, but still touching me. My heart stuttered. "Hey you want to get out of here and go for a walk or something?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from stuttering.
Jacob shrugged his shoulders, "Sure. You thinking about doing some hunting? You know that I can still beat you." He smiled, competition lingering in his eyes.
I shook my head, "No I was actually thinking about just walking. You know, like normal humans?" I got up from the couch and pulled my almost 7 foot werewolf up behind me. "Mom, Jacob and I are going out for a walk." I heard no response from her. I looked at Jacob and he shrugged, then walked over to the door, pulling me along.
Once we were outside, I inhaled a deep breath, the smell of nature calming my nerves. We began to walk quietly and comfortably through the trees, heading towards the river. I looked at Jacob quickly using my peripheral vision. If he knew something was up, he was not letting me know. How could I tell him how I was feeling? Was he feeling the same way? And if so, how long had he been feeling this way? All these questions raced through my head.
When we got to the river, I stopped and sat down on the ground, letting the cool water run through my fingers. Jacob plopped down next to me. "It sure is beautiful today." I nodded in agreement. He continued, "Of course it's even more beautiful with you by my side." My head jerked up in surprise and I stared at him bewildered. He smiled and my heart melted.
I tried not to stammer, "How long…..well when did you…..how did you…." I couldn't even get my words out. I felt foolish and looked away from him.
He softly took my hand in his. "You mean how long have I felt this way, or how long have I known?"
"Both," I whispered, still not meeting his gaze.
He sighed and then looked out over the river, "Ness, I have know since the day that you were born that I would never leave your side. I wanted nothing more than to protect you and keep you safe. I would have done anything to ensure that. But I swear to you that I did not feel romantically attached to you until last night. It was like day and night at the party. One minute I am looking at you, making sure that you are having a good time and then the next minute…" His voice trailed off. His hand tightened around mine. "I was always aware that this was going to happen. I guess I just wasn't prepared for it. You took my breath away last night. It took all myself control last night, not to tell you how I was feeling. Or show you for that matter." I glanced up at him, "I wanted to be sure that you felt the same before I said anything. And then when I came over this morning…." He shook his head, "Your mom can't keep a secret very well." I gasped and gritted my teeth. I should have known better than to say anything to her.
I shook my head in disbelief. I was having a hard time forming thoughts into words. I wanted to tell him so bad how I was feeling. I looked up to meet his gaze, staring at me intently. It was there, in his eyes. There was no denying the love that he felt for me. I knew it to the bottom of my heart that he loved me. He didn't even have to say anything. "Jacob….I…it's just…."
He looked at me for a moment, seriously and then his perfect lips broke into a lopsided smile. Leave to him to break the moment. He laughed heartily and then putting his other hand in the water, splashed me. I gasped at the shock of the cool water on my face. I glared at him a moment and then started to laugh. "Look at us. We sure are a pair. Can't have a serious moment if our lives depended on it." I pulled my hand from his and cupping both hands in the water, let him have it. Laughing he lay back onto the moist ground surrounding the river. "Thanks Ness, that felt great."
I giggled then lay down next to him. I found his hand and intertwined it with mine. We stared up at the blue sky for a few minutes and then Jacob flipped onto his side, once again staring at me. "Ness, look at me." My heart started to thud against my chest. He placed his warm hand on the side of my face and gently turned it until I was looking at him. "You mean everything to me, you know that? There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. Ever."
I smiled hesitantly, "I know that Jacob. I really do know that." My free hand traced the outline of his chiseled face. He closed his eyes sighing and leaned into my hand. I wanted him to kiss me so bad. Did he know that? Could he feel that as my shaking hand traced his gorgeous features?
After what seemed like an eternity, Jacob moved himself closer to my quivering body. He traced his hands slowly around my face and then hesitantly on my lips. My heart was racing, threatening to jump out of my body. He continued to trace lightly down one arm and up the other, sending waves of shivers through me. Couldn't he just do it already? Just kiss me!! As if he was reading my mind, I watched as his face came closer to mine, suspending in air as his lips got near to mine. I was barely breathing. He slowly intertwined one of his hands into my hair until he found the nape of my neck and then softly started to pull me towards him. "I love you so much Ness. More than you will ever be able to comprehend." He breathed out. Before I even had time to respond that what he had said, he pulled me to him, our lips meeting halfway.
So this is what it feels like to die and go to heaven? The electricity that pulsed through our bodies was amazing. My whole soul was on fire. I pushed closer to him, wanting and needing more. My hands fisted in his hair. He moaned into my mouth. His mouth was eager and hungry on mine, taking more and more. As my tongue dipped into his hot, moist mouth, I could feel both of our bodies quiver. This is what I had been waiting for my whole existence. For this moment right here. To be needed and wanted more than the desire to live.
As the fire still burned between us, Jacob started to slow his kissing. I tried to pull his head again to mine, but he grabbed my hands, pulling them out from his hair. He finished the kiss gently and then pushed himself up to where he was looking down on me. "Ness….that was…..wow." He smiled, his dimples bigger than I had ever seen them.
I gawked at him, his hair messier than usual and his cheeks flushed with more color than was normal for him. "If it was that good, why did you stop?" My breathing was starting to return to normal.
He snickered, "I don't think that your father would be very pleased with me. And we both know that we can't keep our thoughts from him." He shook his head, "He's not going to be very happy with what little happened just now anyways."
I sat up, pulling bits of grass and leaves from my curls. I let out a huge sigh, "You are right. Can't keep anything from him." I curled my nose in disgust. Leave it to my dad to ruin everything. I heard Jacob laugh and I looked up at him.
He has risen to a standing position and pulled me up to meet him. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck, breathing deeply. "I meant everything I said. I do love you. So. Much." He lightly grazed his lips over my neck, sending shivers up my spine.
"I love you too." I linked my hand with his and we made our way back to the little cottage in the woods.
If my father had any hint of what had gone on a few days ago between Jacob and I down by the river, he made no comment on it. Fact was, I KNEW he knew what happened, I just couldn't figure out why he wasn't saying anything. It almost made for tense conversation with him, trying not to think about Jacob's feverish lips against mine. We hadn't been alone since that day due to the fact that my father seemed to be everywhere I was, so I knew he knew.
I was in my bedroom listening to my music, mulling this over in my head, when I thought I heard a knock at the door. I didn't have to open my eyes to know who it was, and of course dad didn't wait for me to let him in. He sat down on the bed next to me, hardly making it move at all. I toyed with the idea that maybe if I didn't open my eyes, that he would just disappear, but I knew that would never happen. I slowly opened my eyes and deliberately took my time taking my headphones off. Finally when I could stall no longer, I looked at him and smiled, weakly.
"Hi Dad. How are you?"
He smiled mildly and looked deeply at my face. Please don't let him read my thoughts, please don't let him read my thoughts. "Ness, I can read your thoughts." He chuckled slightly. "Listen, I'm not here to lecture you or tell you what you can and can't do. I have known that this day would come and as much as I don't like the idea of it, I have grown accustomed to it since you were born." He stood up and walked over to my bookshelf, running his fingers a long the titles. "I know that you love Jacob and that he loves you. I can see it in your eyes when you look at each other. I can't even say anything about that, because I know it's the same way I look at your mother. I need you to promise me one thing though…" He glanced in my direction and then turned back to the books, "Please do not do anything foolish. Actually think of it this way. Do not do anything that your mother and I didn't do until our wedding night."
I couldn't believe this was happening to me. My own father, in my own room, trying to give me the SEX talk. Oh what could possibly be next? I cleared my throat, "Um dad, that really isn't something that you have to worry about. You know that I have been raised better than that, and I wouldn't do anything that I know would disappoint you and mom." I looked away. Oh please just let this conversation be over.
My father looked as if he wanted to say more, but only nodded, "Well I guess that was all I wanted to say. Just be careful." He walked over to where I was sitting tensely on my bed and kissed my head, "And don't forget that your mom and I love you." He smiled and then opened the door, brushing past my handsome, muscular, lovely Jacob.
I sighed at the sight of him. My heart twittered and all I could do was stare. He was dressed in a pair of tweed, black pants and a button up blue dress shirt. His hair was styled into the messy spikes that I just loved to get my hands stuck in. He smiled and his dimples popped out on his cheeks. "Hey beautiful! Why aren't you dressed?" He took two steps, was at my bedside, and tracing his fingers down my face.
I smiled up at him, "You aren't supposed to be here for another hour. So don't blame me for not being ready." I jumped off the bed and threw my arms around his neck, nuzzling him gently. I breathed in his musky, forest scent and nipped my teeth on his ear.
His breath caught in his throat, "You better behave yourself. You dad is still out there and I am in no hurry to ravish you in front of him."
I laughed and planted a gentle kiss on his lips, "I have missed you so much."
He pushed me back until he could see my face, "I was with you until you fell asleep last night, even past that point."
"I know, but I still missed you," I said, smiling sheepishly. I pulled myself away from his long arms and drug my feet across the floor to my closet. I started pulling dresses out and putting them in front of my slender figure. Jacob had settled himself on my bed, waiting for the fashion show to begin. "I love you," I mouthed. He smiled, and my stomach somersaulted.
Jacob had the door on Carlisle's Mercedes open for me as I came out the front door, trailing my mom behind me. She looked over at Jacob, "Now be sure that she is home at a reasonable hour. We aren't setting a curfew, but we don't want her out all night either."
Jacob rolled his eyes at her, "Now Bella, I think I am smarter than that. You KNOW I am smarter than that. She will be home at a decent hour."
"You better hope she is," my father growled as he came through the front door and stood on the front step. Again Jacob just rolled his eyes. I gave mom and dad a quick kiss on their cheeks and then carefully positioned myself in the passenger seat of the Mercedes, making sure that my pale, yellow sundress was tucked into the car. Jacob carefully got in the driver's seat and the engine roared to life. We were free at last.
I wrapped my hand around Jacob's as we drove at a remarkable speed through the little town of Forks. I was so excited to finally be alone with him again. Even though it had only been 2 days, it had felt like an eternity. I couldn't help but wonder, after the little episode at the river, what tonight would bring with it. We were on our way to Port Angeles, the only town remotely near by that actually have things to do. It had been Jacob's idea to do something nice for once, including dressing up. A big step for my casual werewolf. I smiled as I thought that. He was mine. All mine.
I felt Jacob's hand squeeze tighter and he looked at me for a moment before looking back at the road. "You were smiling and I didn't even say anything. What are you thinking about?"
I looked over at him, letting my eyes once again take in every detail of his remarkable beauty. I shrugged slightly, "Nothing that you need to be concerned about. I'm allowed to have my little secrets." I skimmed my fingernails down his jaw line, feeling him quiver at my touch. "I think I may have to have some fun with this."
Jacob looked quickly over at me as I leaned closer to him. I nipped at his ear and ran my lips down his jaw line. I could hear his breathing getting thicker and I smiled at this. I lightly kissed my way down his neckline to his collar bone and then back up to his earlobe, gently caressing it with my tongue. He let out a half moan, half whimper, "Ness, unless you WANT to be in an accident, you better get back to your side of the car." As I continued my routine I felt the car lose speed until it finally came to a stop. I lifted my head innocently and tried to gaze out the window, trying to get a sense of where we were.
Jacob pushed me forcefully back onto my side of the car, keeping me at arms length. "Hey what the…." I stuttered as I looked up into his eyes. I could see the fire in them, the passion no longer hidden. Before I even had time to think, he was on my side of the car, pressing my body against the door. He crushed his lips to mine and the heat that they held made my body explode with desire. I met his kiss, deepening it, tasting the inside of his mouth. He pulled me lightly away from the door and switched his position so that I was straddling him. His arms wrapped around my waist tightly and he pulled me tighter, fitting our bodies together as much as he could considering the clothing in the way.
I grabbed his hair in both my fists, tilting my head back so that the sensitive skin of my neck was exposed. His hot mouth left mine and I shivered with excitement as he trailed his tongue down my neck, nipping and biting as he did. I moaned in pleasure, focusing on the fire that enveloped my skin. I had never felt like this and this was something that I never wanted to stop, even though I knew it would have to. I had a promise to keep.
Letting out a low growl, I started to pull away, "Jacob….we need to…" I let another moan escape as he tongue traced lightly over the hollow of my neck and then up to my ear. "We need to stop." I could feel him shake his head no. I pulled his head back from me and looked at him hard, trying to get him to focus on my eyes. "We.Need.To.Stop."
He let out a growl and laid his head on the headrest, "I know, I know." He ran his long fingers over his face and a sigh escaped his lips. "I'm sorry Ness. I need to have more control than that."
I shook my head, "No, no. That was entirely my fault." I licked my lips, "I never should have…" I trailed off, tasting his flavor on my tongue. "I shouldn't have started teasing you. But I don't regret it for a moment."
He chuckled and then pulled me off his lap, unwinding himself from my legs and making his way over to the driver's seat. He leaned over and kissed my gently, "We better get to dinner. Don't want to lose our reservation…" He glanced up at me, then flashed a mischievous smile, "Or maybe we do."
"No we better go." I focused my eyes out the window and tenderly ran my tongue over my slightly swollen lips. I stifled a giggle and nodded, "Yeah we better go." The engine purred to life and we maneuvered onto the highway, once again focusing on our destination.
