It was late out, very late. I, Regulus Black, was sitting there, in a pub, preparing myself for what I had to say. Two tables down, his face hidden in a cloak much like mine was, was Remus Lupin. The known member of the Order of the Phoenix had probably gotten out from his work mere minutes before this. They were straining themselves. Why? Because the wrong side, Voldemort's side, MY side, was winning.

Swallowing my last bit of firewhiskey, I made my way over to him. Now or never, I told myself. As I paused at his table, he glanced at my cloaked figure in alarm. Of course, who would be in disguise but a Death Eater.

"Lupin, I need a word," I muttered, keeping my voice low. He looked shocked as he stared up at my hidden face. Then, probably believing he would contact his friends about a Death Eater being with him, he nodded sharply. "Thanks," I mumbled, losing some of my courage.

"Who are you?" he demanded, but I shook my head.

"You'd never listen to what I need to tell you if you knew.". He frowned, recognizing the fact that I WAS a Death Eater.

"Wand on the table," Lupin said harshly. I nodded once and dropped my wand in the middle. Lupin grabbed it off the table and stuck it into his pocket. "Now, talk!" he ordered, clearly not trusting me.

"I became a Death Eater at sixteen, but I had no idea what it meant. It - it's terrible. I feel as if I'm losing myself... It makes me so - so angry because when I was young, I had someone try to teach me what was right. Yet, I was wrong back then - young and foolish. I - I didn't listen, but I should of..." Lupin listened to this in faint shock. He had learned that Death Eaters were trained to feel no emotions at all. Now, he was with a Death Eater who actually appeared to regret his decisions.

But... Who was he? This mystery Death Eater wasn't begging for help, so they must have decided on some way of hiding from it...

"But then - I found out Voldemort needed a house elf and was forced to give him mine. My house elf is more of a friend than a servant ever since HE ran away. I ordered him to return home after. When he did, he was nearly dead. V - Voldemort had forced him to drink a potion that nearly made him go insane with thirst and - and guilt. He saw horrible memories... Then Voldemort left a - a locket under more of the vile potion and left Kreacher there to die!" I pounded my fist against the table. Across from me, Lupin flinched at my fury. Then I realized my mistake. I had called Kreacher by his name... If Sirius had ever mentioned him...

Lupin frowned, he had heard that name before. Kreacher... but where had he heard it... And how did it fit into the mystery of this repenting Death Eater's identity? Also, who was 'HE'? Who had run away?

"He told me what happened, and I know what I need to do now. I found out the locket is a horcrux, and I need you to inform Dumbledore that he has made more than one." I shook my head angrily. "He was stupid. Voldemort has been leaving hints for a long time about them. He never thought any one would pick up on them.".

Lupin looked at me in shock. Perhaps it was the way I insulted Voldemort. Maybe he actually knew what a horcrux was unlike most wizards. It proved to be the first when Lupin asked,

"What is a horcrux?" Closing my eyes tightly, I answered,

"It - it's a piece of Voldemort's soul... He's making himself immortal. If he would die, then he could come back." Lupin looked as horrified as I felt. I continued on with my story,

"I'm going to steal it. Kreacher'll take me to the lake where the locket is hidden. I'll switch it for a fake. It's obvious I'll die, but at least I won't be a coward for once." Lupin looked into my shadowed face. I could see his horror, his fear. The Dark Lord - no, Voldemort, for I no longer respected him enough to call him that - was immortal.

"Who are you? We can help you!" Lupin said. He had decided to trust me, perhaps because I was talking so nonchalantly about my death.

"I doubt Sir - my brother - would be happy if I showed up," I chuckled, without humor, harshly.

Lupin mentally noted the mysterious Death Eater's almost slip. There was another key to this Death Eater's identity. He had a brother...

"We could. You have important information, and Dumbledore needs more inside information." I chuckled once more at the thought of being a spy.

"Do you really think that I, who is terrible at Occulmens, would stand a chance as a spy? I've already decided, Lupin. In truth, I think I'm ready to die as long as I don't have to kill anymore or maim or torture."

Lupin looked shocked at the Death Eater who was so clearly done with the Death Eaters. The Death Eater who was just ready to die rather than do it anymore.

"I suppose one of the reasons I want to do this is because I know Sirius would be proud of me if he ever found out..."

Sirius? What does Sirius have to do with this? Lupin wondered. This - this man... Was he Regulus Black? It made sense... Sirius ran away... He has a brother... According to Sirius, Regulus had always wanted people to be proud of him. Then again, according to Sirius, Regulus was a complete coward and cared fully about blood.

"Regulus..." Lupin trailed off. I only sighed in answer. Then I reached up and lowered my hood. Lupin seemed surprised when he saw the dark circles, which obviously spoke of many sleepless nights, under my eyes.

"Don't ever repeat this conversation to Sirius, Lupin!" I snarled. I didn't want to make Sirius feel guilty or make him distracted. If he wasn't at his best; he would be killed in a duel.

"Don't let him know you aren't a completely bad person?" Lupin repeated. Then he sighed, not understanding my reasoning.

"Wasn't, Lupin. I'm practically dead now. The Dark - Voldemort - ordered me to kill someone. Someone in the Order of the Phoenix. And someone I cannot kill; I'd rather die." I laughed bitterly, thinking of the many reasons for my decision.

"Who?" Lupin muttered, looking horrified. I stared at him with dead eyes.

"Sirius."

Lupin jumped in shock. Sirius? No. Why was Voldemort ordering Death Eaters to kill Sirius?

"Why -."

"Think, Lupin! He's an auror and a bloody good one at that!" I exclaimed, my patience thin. "Blood supremacy is crap. Maybe if the pureblood families had some new blood in the mix, then they wouldn't all be insane!"

Lupin made a curious sound, something between a gasp and a surprised snort. I suppose the fact that I had just insulted my entire family was shocking.

"I mean, look at us! Bella's fucking psycho, Narcissa can't think for herself, I'm clearly an idiot for becoming a Death Eater, Andy became pregnant at sixteen, and you can't tell me Sirius is completely sane!"

Lupin opened his mouth to defend Sirius, but before he could, I said,

"If you can deny it then you have never seen Sirius truly livid." True. In fact, though Lupin had seen Sirius annoyed and angry many times, had he ever seen him truly furious? Once. On that dreadful night in fifth year that Lupin had tried so hard to forget. Sirius had been angry enough to do something completely insane: tell Snape how to get past the Willow. He knew I was right. Lupin stayed silent, so I continued to speak,

"Even I have only seen him go that far a couple times. One, when we were children, and Bella almost killed me. And - and the night he ran away. I cannot truly hate my brother for much, Lupin, but I can certainly hate him for that night.

For the things he said to my parents, to me.

For beseeching our family name like that.

For leaving me."

Lupin had no idea how to respond to that; who could? I knew it was time to leave. Sighing once more, I looked at Lupin. He seemed horrified.

"You don't have to do this, Regulus. You could go to Dumbledore..." he reasoned, but I shook my head.

"Tell Sirius you found out I'm dead. Do not tell him about this conversation, Lupin. Tell him I was a coward and got cold feet, so I left, and they killed me for it." With that I stood and accepted my wand back. Then I spun around and exited the scene as quickly as I had entered.

The lake loomed dark and black yet calm as I took the first sip of potion. An hour later, all was calm again.

Lupin sat there, silent. In truth, he was shocked over what had happened. Regulus Black had finally come to his senses, but he didn't want Sirius to know about it.

The next time Lupin met Sirius, they exchanged news.

"Actually, Sirius, I did find out something. It's about your brother..."

"He's a Death Eater. I don't care about him..." Sirius muttered.

If only he knew how wrong he had been...

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