1. the angel has horns: luka


"Everyone, line up single file until you're on the bus. Please try your best to keep your excitement to yourself."

The teacher droned on and on about the rules and school regulations, even though no one was paying any interest to her.

In front of Rin was Luka, who looked a little green in the face. She swerved dangerously to the right, her eyes large and glazed over.

"Unh aghh… " she mumbled something in an unknown language, and proceeded to take a shaky step forward.

"Um, Luka? You okay?" Rin asked.

"OH LORD."

"What?"

"OH LORD, SAVE OUR SOULS."

"…you've finally lost it."

Rin caught her as she stumbled, and pushed her up as she ascended the little bus stairs.

"Rin I hate camping," Luka confessed, shaking as they searched for an open seat.

"Hah," she laughed, "is that it?"

"No."

Deciding to take the seat across from Lola and Leon, Rin pulled down the window, hoping it would cool down the bus's temperature.

"Okay, then spill. What other reasons are there? Camping's fun. The fresh air. The sound of nature. The beautiful lake. The beautiful guys you get to see strip as they swim in that lake—"

"No, look Rin," Luka cut in. "That sounds great and all, but nature's just not my thing. I don't want to sleep outside on a rock-covered floor, I hate the bugs, I hate the dirty lake, which I'm DEFINITELY not swimming in, and worse, the the-forest-is-your-limit bathrooms!"

"That's exactly why," Rin said, grinning, "the port-a-potty's the most brilliant invention ever!"


(At the camp).

.

.

.

"MEIKO IS SUCH A MAN-LOVING WHORE. PERIOD."

"But-"

"LALALA. I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Miku, shouted, giving Meiko's back death glares.

"How dare she get all friendly with MY Kaito?"

"In case you haven't notice, he isn't yours," Luka reminded her. "Neither of you have confessed."

"WHAT'S THAT? MRS. WATANABE IS CALLING ME?"

She looked at her skeptically. "Really? Because I don't hear anything."

"Nope. I'm positive. See ya!"

Miku gave a backwards wave, and ran off before Luka had a chance to say anything.

Sighing to herself, she decided to find some other companion to stick to. Miku had obviously run off to stalk Kaito; the campsite was actually in the opposite direction.

Her friends were idiots.


Text msg.

Receiver: (555)-555-****

From: Kamui, Gakupo

12: 00 pm - Friday, March 26

Luka, I am sad to inform you that I have lost the eggplant I was going to bring on the trip.

I know how much you were looking forward to it; I apologize.

If you by chance happen to find it, I would appreciate it very much. - Gakupo

;_;


Text msg.

Receiver: (555)-444-****

From: Megurine, Luka

12: 08 pm - Friday, March 26

I AM NOT SAD AT ALL.

Please get a life you egg-plant loving freak.

.

.

.

I'm in love with you.

- Luka


At least that was the message she wanted to send. Instead the message looked more like this:

Text msg.

Receiver: (555)-444-****

From: Megurine, Luka

12: 08 pm - Friday, March 26

Okay.

- Luka


"AUGH WHY AM I SUCH A NICE PERSON?" Luka thought aloud.

She had just agreed to search for a nasty, purple vegetable like it was some lost child.

"Beats me."

A very bored-looking Rin appeared, holding out two pieces of paper and pencil.

"Can you believe it? We're suppose to be camping, yet Mrs. I'm-still-an-eighty-year-old-virgin over there is handing out worksheets, like this is school or something. This is stupid!"

"You're lucky," Luka whined. "You and Len have your twincest thing going on, and what do I get stuck with? THE EGGPLANT FANATIC. He wants me to search for his eggplant with him."

Rin thought about that for a moment, a naughty smirk forming on her face.

"What size is his eggplant?"


Kaito entered the blue and white port-a-potty, ready to… do his thing.

It looked unsanitary, and he didn't like the idea of using it much, but he had no choice. Just aim and shoot, right?

Entering the small, enclosed space, the first thing he noticed was a strange, lumpy object hidden in the corner. After inspecting it closer, it began to take the shape of a large, purple vegetable.

He noticed that scribbled on it in big, capitalized letters, was the message:

IF LOST, PLEASE RETURN TO GAKUPO

THANK YOU

:)


AN: EDITED: This was one of my first fanfics on this site. I recognize the spelling and grammtical errors.

I hope you still enjoy the story regardless, and I hope it produces a few cracky laughs here and there. Thank you!

R&R!