Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom.
Dreams.
According to her professor, there were several explanations for dreams and where they came from. Dreams, he said, were composed of various things. Sometimes, dreams were a mosaic of memories, experiences, desires, and wants that floated around in the subconscious and appeared during REM sleep. There was truth, her professor said, in the saying that dreams were one's subconscious giving a message. However, he also said that not all dreams should be interpreted as such. Sometimes dreams were repressed memories or experiences during the day that the brain noticed, filed away, and then reviewed.
Her professor also noted that there was also reasoning behind the old saying that if you had a problem the solution was to sleep on it. He said that the brain worked even while sleeping, and that during sleep, the brain gave the answers to the problems in the form of dreams.
That was the scientific viewpoint of dreams. Unfortunately, her current dream experiences defied the scientific explanations, and it was ticking her off, big-time.
But thinking back on it, they didn't actually defied it. No, in fact, her dreams actually fit into every single one of the categories. But she didn't want to accept that. Because if she did, then that would mean that something really, really, wrong was happening to her.
And Jasmine Fenton never did like it when things went wrong.
Was the dream just a bunch of memories thrown together with no apparent order? It was possible. But then again, why would those particular memories be the ones showing thru? It made no sense.
Experiences? Well, of course she had experienced the things in her dreams. Well, some of them at least. The more intense ones had yet to happen to her. The same held true for the mellow ones, the soft and – dare she think it? – romantic moments she had shared with that person. But the others, the times she had spent with that person, she had surely experienced those. Then perhaps the dream was…
No.
Her dreams couldn't… wouldn't… didn't…
It was not her subconscious desire to be with that person! It was wrong! It wasn't proper, it wasn't right.
But the frequency, regularity, and intensity with which she experienced with her dreams was telling her more rational mind something else. Freud would smack her upside the head with his book on dream analysis for blatantly ignoring what her dreams were telling her. Heck, it wasn't even a subconscious message anymore. Her mind was practically screaming the fact at her.
But acknowledgment of the fact was dangerous. She wasn't… wouldn't allow herself to acknowledge that fact. Because that would mean that she did like that person that way, and going down that road would just lead to nothing but a truckload of trouble.
Maybe if she just tried to ignore it, it would go away…
She shook her head and laughed softly to herself. She was thinking like a child trying to convince herself that there were no monsters under the bed.
Perhaps, she thought as she climbed into bed, perhaps she could accept what her brain was telling her. After all, just because she accepted the fact, didn't mean she had to accept it, right? And then maybe she could start to just enjoy herself in her dreams.
After all, wrong though it was, she had to acknowledge it that the dreams were extremely pleasurable, and it wasn't just the more erotic dreams either. The imaginary walks, the talks, the moments they shared, were so sweet they would give a bee a toothache.
She could enjoy that at least, couldn't she? And who knew, if the Buddhists were right, and there was such a thing as reincarnation, then perhaps in the next life they could be together that way.
But for now, for the present, dreams were all she had. She felt a yawn coming on and didn't even try to stifle it. Most nights she would try everything in her power to not fall asleep. But tonight she embraced it gladly. Dimly she remembered that she had eaten chocolate after dinner tonight. A smile graced her face as her eyes closed.
And as her eyes opened again in the dream land she had created for herself and her lover, she felt the smile grow even bigger. He was there, waiting for her, sitting on their dream couch and looking at her. He patted the space beside her, encouraging her to sit. She strode over to him, wrapping her arms around him before she had even sat on the couch. He returned the embrace and gave her a peck on the cheek.
"Hey." She greeted him. He smiled at her.
"Hey princess. This is a different greeting than what I usually get. So does that mean you're accepting what you feel for me?" She nodded, and his smile grew bigger.
"After all," she said, "dreams are all we have right? So I might as well enjoy myself. Who knows, maybe in the next life, the fates will deal us a better hand and let us be together for real. But for now…" She traced a pattern on his chest as she leaned into him. He tilted her head up to face him.
"Jazz…" He murmured before giving her a soft, slow, sensuous kiss. She melted into it, eagerly opening her mouth when she felt his tongue demand entrance. They kissed passionately for a while, and then he slowly broke away and began trailing kisses down her neck. She moaned. Through half-lidded eyes, she threw him a flirting look.
"You know, I had chocolate for dessert tonight." She felt, rather than saw him smile against her neck.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Know what that means?"
"No. What does it mean?" She suddenly broke into a feral grin. Grabbing her by the shoulders, she pushed him down on the couch and straddled him.
"It means, this." She muttered before kissing him hotly on the lips again as her hands began to feverishly yank off his clothes. He chuckled, and began to return the favor.
Some time later, when they were finished and were merely cuddling against each other on the couch, she resumed tracing patterns on his chest.
"I wish we could stay like this forever…"
"Careful what you wish for, princess. You never know who might be listening."
"I know… but still…" He shushed her.
"I feel the same way, princess. Perhaps in the next life, we might be together. But not in this life, not now. It would cause others too much pain. It would cause us too much pain. This," he gestured at their intertwined bodies, "is the best we can do." She sniffled. He gave her a sad smile and used his thumb to wipe away the lone tear that tracked down her face.
"There, there, princess. Don't cry. Now that you've accepted the fact that you love me, I'll visit you more frequently." He stopped, and then cocked his head as if listening for something. He closed his eyes and sighed. He broke away from her and stood up. "I'll be leaving now. But I'll be back. I'll always come back until we can be together for real."
He kissed her softly on the lips, and then turned around and walked away. She tried to get up to follow him, tried to tell him to come back, but suddenly she couldn't speak, or even move. She became aware of something nudging her shoulder, and she tried to swat it away. But the nudging continued. She closed her eyes, tears falling freely now…
She opened her eyes again to look into her brother's worried green eyes.
"Jazz? You okay? I was coming back home from my patrol and I heard you crying…" She smiled at his concern.
"Thanks. It was just a dream. Sorry for worrying you." He smiled in relief, and was about to go to his own room when she stopped him. "Wait." He turned, and she hugged him and gave him a peck on the cheek. He blushed.
"What was that for?"
"Oh, just wanted to thank you for your concern." She smiled at him again and wiped her tears on her blanket. "But if you tell anybody you saw me cry I will kill you." He laughed at that.
"Don't worry. It'll stay between us." He went intangible and phased thru to his own room. She lay back down and hugged her pillow while staring at the ceiling, playing back the dream she had just had in her head.
She loved her dreams… After all, they were all she had. She felt another yawn coming and smiled softly. She was falling asleep again. Closing her eyes once more, she reopened them to find him smirking back at her.
"Told you I'd be back."
A/N: Hm. Why is it that whenever I write about Jazz, she always ends up in a T rated scene? Tsk... Anyway, here's a little something for all of us Jazz lovers out there. You pick the guy she was seeing in her dreams. I have my own preferences coughDannycough, but to each his own. Oh, and for the ones following it, I'll try to update MHD in time for Christmas...
