A/N: Not meant to be even remotely serious or in character, just as a forwarning!

House was bored. There were no new cases, his team had abandoned him in favour of finding more interesting things to do around the hospital, and here he was, sitting in Wilson's office, playing video games for the 6th hour straight. Again. He stretched lazily. "Wiiiiiilson." He moaned.

Wilson didn't even look up. "I'm busy, House."

House rolled his eyes. "And I'm bored."

"You could do your clinic hours." Wilson pointed out, a slight smirk on his face.

"Thirteen's doing them. She's bored too." House sighed tragically. "I'm putting my team's needs before my own."

Wilson snorted. "Isn't this usually the point in time when you'd come up with some sort of ridiculous scheme to harass Cuddy or create a betting circle or make your team do something crazy?" He regretted the statement almost as soon as it came out of his mouth. House's eyes lit up. Wilson coughed. "Or you could do something productive."

House stood up and exited the room, leaving Wilson looking after him in bewilderment.

A couple of hours later, Thirteen looked down as her pager beeped. House. Hopefully that meant they had a new case and she could escape the godforsaken clinic. She hadn't become a specialist to deal with people having panic attacks over the fact that they had a cold. Or that their children were having colds. Sighing, she put down the file she'd been about to pick up, let the nurse know she was leaving, and headed back up to Diagnostics.

Chase was surprised as his pager beeped House's number. House never paged him. The shock was enough to make him want to know what was going on. He made his way to House's office, surprised to see his girlfriend sitting at the table too. "What's going on?" He questioned suspiciously upon entering and taking a seat beside Allison.

"Don't bother, we already tried." Thirteen stretched lazily in her seat. "He won't say anything till Kutner gets here."

"Where is he, anyway?" House demanded.

Thirteen shrugged. "I don't know where you sent him."

At that moment, Kutner jogged into view, looking out of breath. "Do we have a case?" He looked surprised at the number of people in the room.

"Nope." House grinned. "We have something even better." He turned around the whiteboard to expose the plan.

"You have got to be kidding." Foreman announced from his place leaning against a bookshelf.

Cameron actually looked kind of excited. "When are we doing this?" she questioned.

Thirteen and Chase both stared at her.

"I definitely had you pegged wrong." Thirteen announced, getting over the surprise.

House smirked. "Tonight." He announced. "None of you are on shift, so no excuses. New team versus old team."

"I'm stuck with Taub and Kutner?!" Thirteen pouted.

"We're soooo winning." Cameron grinned.

"This is so immature." Chase whined. "What self-respecting 30-year-old would play drinking games?"

This earned him a glare from Allison. "I'm 29 and I don't see a problem." She poked him in the side. "C'mon, it's just a bit of fun!"

"Fine." Chase rolled his eyes petulantly.

House smirked. "Perfect. Be at my apartment at…" he looked at his watch. "Seven. That gives you all an hour after you get off."

"My wife is going to kill me." Taub sighed.

"Your wife is always going to kill you." Kutner pointed out. "What's new?"

Taub shrugged. "Fair point."

At precisely seven pm that evening, Cameron bounced happily up to House's door, towing the much less excited Foreman and Chase.

"Why are you always happy?" House demanded as he opened the door to be greeted with sparkling green eyes. "Thirteen is so much cooler than you."

Thirteen sat on the couch looking bored and already drinking. Taub and Kutner were playing on House's X-Box. Cameron ignored House and pushed past him to sit beside Thirteen and opened a beer. Foreman went and leant against a table. Chase simply sat in a chair and looked nervous, until he noticed that House had Guitar Hero. He went to pick up the guitar, only to have his hand slapped by House. "Later, Chase." Chase went back to his chair and looked petulant.

"Okay, people." House announced. "Rules." His eyes gleamed. "Vomiting, passing out, bowing out or giving up in any way are the exclusion criteria. I will come up with challenges that either involve drinking, or that upon losing, the loser must take a drink. Team with the most members standing at the end of the night wins. Got it?"

Everyone nodded, except Chase, who just looked more worried.

"Good." House smirked. "First challenge: chugging. Whoever finishes last for each team has to take a shot."

Wilson arrived from the kitchen carrying a tray of six beers and two shots. "Everyone around the table, please." He set the glasses down carefully. Everyone moved forward to sit around the table and took a glass in hand.

"Ready?" House asked. "Go!!"

The group started chugging. Thirteen bolted hers ridiculously fast, followed by Foreman. Cameron came next, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend, who was obviously failing at the task. Taub and Kutner seemed to be spending more time glaring at one another than getting through their beer. Finally, Taub took a last gulp and grinned at his friend. "Ha!" Kutner finished seconds afterwards. Everyone turned to look at Chase, who was still lagging.

House sighed. "Not hard to see where the competition lies. Chase, Kutner – do your shots." Chase whimpered, having finally finished his beer.

"Er, why are you dating him?" Thirteen asked Cameron under her breath.

Cameron shrugged. "Surprisingly, the sex is good." She whispered back. "But you can see why we still live separately."

Thirteen nodded "Yeah."

Chase gagged, but made it through his shot.

"Next challenge!" House announced, taking a swig of his own beer. "Flip cup! Team who loses all have to take shots!"

"Put Chase at the end." Cameron murmured to Foreman, who nodded.

Amazingly, their team won. Apparently the other team lacked coordination even more than Chase.

"Challenge number three: beer pong!" Wilson arrived again to set up House's table with plastic cups.

By the end of the challenge, everyone was starting to end up on the drunk side of tipsy. House grinned. "Now the fun begins. We're playing Twister!" Wilson laid the game out on the ground. Kutner groaned. "For the next few challenges, your teams will be as follows: Thirteen vs. Cameron. Taub vs. Chase. Kutner vs. Foreman." He eyed them all. "Kutner and Foreman, go!"

Thirteen and Cameron returned to the beers they'd been sipping prior to starting the competition, neither seeming overly concerned about alcohol content.

This game ended with Chase, Kutner, and surprisingly, Thirteen taking shots of tequila. Cameron looked triumphant. She knew working out everyday paid off!

This time around, House looked particularly jubilant. "Now for the hooking up part of the competition. Whoever ends the kissing between partners loses." He waggled his eyebrows at Cameron and Thirteen.

"But…but…" Chase looked very upset. "She's my girlfriend." He pointed at Cameron.

House nodded. "Yes Chase, good job!"

"I don't want her to kiss someone else."

"It's another girl, Chase. It's hot!" House exclaimed. Chase was still pouting. House rolled his eyes. Cameron and Thirteen were sizing each other up, evidently having no issue with the challenge. He smiled smugly. Girl on girl between two of the hottest women in the hospital. His dream come true. "Okay, let's go." he rubbed his hands together. "Go!" All the male members refused to participate, even if it meant them all taking shots. Besides, watching Cameron and Thirteen was much more interesting, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Ten minutes later they were still watching the blonde and the brunette going at it, mouths open in awe. They hadn't been expecting anything this good. Suddenly taking shots of tequila seemed like a good idea, competition or not. House reached for one, shooting it back and shaking his head violently, never taking his eyes off of the two women. Chase was sitting in the corner rocking back and forth. Everyone ignored him, their concentration elsewhere.

Wilson arrived with more shots of tequila and got distracted too, starting to take them rather than put them down on the table. He'd never realised the power two women hooking up could have on men before. Now he understood. The sound of Taub retching and running for the bathroom distracted Cameron and Thirteen and they broke away from one another, noticing the empty shot glasses and the group of men watching them.

"Why didn't anyone stop us?" Cameron asked, blushing.

"Why on earth would we do that?" House looked at her like she was stupid. She shrugged, her eyes drifting to find Chase rocking in the corner and she sighed.

"Look what you've done to Chase." She said admonishingly, picking up her beer again.

House shrugged. "Whatever" he looked around briefly. "So we've lost Taub and Chase. I guess it's up to you four to continue the challenge."

"We took way more shots than them because they kept making out" Kutner whined.

"Oh, grow up." Thirteen rolled her eyes and grabbed a shot of tequila, shooting it back.

"Both you and Foreman were taking shots?" Cameron asked. Kutner nodded. "Well, that's equal on each team then."

"Cameron makes a good point." House concluded. "But I think she needs to take a shot to be equal to Thirteen."

Cameron sighed in frustration and took a shot just to shut House up. "The rules of this game seem suspect to me." She grumbled.

"I'm in charge – why did you think they wouldn't be?" House questioned.

Cameron shrugged. "What's the next challenge?"

House scratched his neck. "To be honest, I didn't get much beyond you and Thirteen making out."

At this point Kutner keeled over onto the floor.

Thirteen rolled her eyes. "Well I guess that solves the problem of which of your teams has better alcohol tolerance." She pointed out to House. "Which is good, cause I want to go clubbing."

Cameron's eyes lit up at this. "Can I come?" Thirteen nodded.

"Its okay, Thirteen, you still hold my respect." House informed her mock solemnly.

"Whatever." She started to locate her purse.

"I'll make sure Chase gets home." Foreman told Cameron.

Her eyes slid to her boyfriend, still rocking in the corner. "You might want to leave him in his corner; he's kind of difficult when he gets like this. I usually just leave him alone for a bit."

"I don't want him!" House whined. Cameron sighed.

"Don't worry about it. Go have fun with Thirteen." Foreman's eyes drifted dreamily over to the other woman.

"Thanks." Cameron smiled at him and went to join the other woman at the door, grabbing her stuff on the way.

"Don't come into work hung over!" House called after them.

"Fine!" Two female voices called back.

"They're so going to hook up." House said in an over-exaggerated whisper to Foreman, causing Chase to whimper.

Kutner came to, sitting up. "What happened?" he questioned, disoriented.

"You lost." House informed him, not turning around.

"Oh." Kutner lay back down and closed his eyes. "That sucks."

"Wilson!" House called.

Wilson emerged from the washroom supporting Taub. "Yes?"

"Nothing."

Wilson rolled his eyes and set Taub down in a chair. "I'm going home." He announced.

"Okay. Everyone else can clean up." House grinned.

'Everyone' groaned, except for Chase, who just stayed in his corner rocking.

Wilson chose that moment to make a quick exit.

Foreman sighed. How did he get into these situations?

A/N: Should I continue? Let me know!!