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Playground school bell rings again.
Rain clouds come to play again.
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind,
Giving you someone to talk to.
Hello.
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Damn that light! Why couldn't they at least provide a fellow with a mask of some kind, or at least give him some kind of warning that the sun is going to sear your retinas? My God, look at everything, at everyone. They all look so haggard. Nothing looks like it should. When I went into this hell-hole, everything was brighter. Well, as bright as it could be, I suppose. But it didn't look nearly so gray, so dismal. There had been some greenery around, a few trees here and there. Now the ground is covered in ash, bodies.
There was a battle here. Not for us, surely? The few of us left anyhow. There's the youngest Weasley and Longbottom. All that's left of my glorious counter-offensive. There had been so many of them before. At least a hundred. A hundred and only the three of us survive long enough to be sent into Azkaban. How long ago was that, I wonder? I can't remember. I don't have my calendar. If I was back in my cell, I could tell. I've been marking off the days since I got in there.
I'm honestly surprised that the little Weasley held out this long. The way her face paled when we stepped inside Azkaban made me think she was going to drop dead right there. The same went for Longbottom. But here he is. Amazing. Didn't think the butterball would stand it.
Look at them all. All of them rushing to them, holding them, crying over them. Pathetic. Don't they remember who would have been in Azkaban if it wasn't for me? Good Lord! Weasley's certainly gotten old looking. Oh good grief, Weasley. Just hug her and stop petting her! She's alive!! That's more than I can say for lots of others, for my task force. Even Longbottom has someone cooing over him. I guess they don't remember. Wonderful. What does Weasley want?
"Hey."
"Hullo."
"So, ah, glad you made it out."
"Yes, it certainly took you lot long enough."
"Well, we had to get up our forces and,"
"How long have I been in there Weasley?"
Oh Merlin, it must be bad. He's wincing. What did the dunce do now?
"About three years."
"Three years!! It took you a bloody three years for you to get up a ruddy task force?! I've been in Azkaban for three years, Weasley!"
"I know, Malfoy! My sister was in there for three years, remember?!"
"Actually, I don't. You tend to forget things when Dementors are sucking the life out of you."
"Then why aren't you dead?"
"Because I'm innocent, Weasley! Because I went into Azkaban unjustly, because I went in there for,"
I can't even speak the name. I still can't believe that after all this time.......well, three years, that I'd done that for him. For that stinking.........
"Because of what you did, Malfoy, we were able to defeat Voldemort. You should be grateful for that."
"Oh, I am. I'm so relieved that I was stuck in there out of the fighting so you lot could be together and defeat Voldemort, just like you always wanted. Always wanted the glory, didn't you, Weasley? You and your glorious threesome. Where's Granger? Isn't she around, or didn't she make it?"
"Oh, she made it, Malfoy."
"Well, thank heaven. I was getting worried. Now you two can get married and have billions of little red heads as smart as Granger and just as obnoxious."
Good Lord, Weasley's such a prat. Look at him, holding himself back from smacking the living daylights out of me. I should taunt him, but I want more answers. I love doing this though. Glad to see that my personality traits haven't faded away from lack of use.
"So did it work?"
I love throwing things at people that they don't expect. It gives me such a sense of satisfaction to see their mouths flop open, like a fish. Ha. Take that, Weasley.
"Yeah, it worked. Obviously."
"Touchy, touchy, Weasley. Tell Granger to get working on that temper of yours as soon as you get married, alright?"
"I'll do that."
"So where is she?"
"Hermione?"
"Of course not, you prat. Where is she?"
Oh God.
"She, she and Harry lead the force against Voldemort. She got hit."
"What happened? Is she wounded? How bad is it?"
"Malfoy,"
"Alright, Weasley, the comment about you and Granger was uncalled for. Sorry. Now how is she?"
"She didn't make it, Malfoy."
"Very funny, Weasley. I know you're just trying to get back at me for those remarks earlier. Well, I already apologized, so I won't do it again."
"Malfoy, why would I lie about her?"
"I don't know! Playing a cruel joke, I suppose!"
"I wouldn't do that, Malfoy! Not about her!"
So she's gone then. Gone forever. And I was stupid enough to believe that I'd be able to speak with her again. What a prat. What an idiot. What a stupid, blathering fool I turned out to be.
"Malfoy,"
"Don't, Weasley. Where are we apparating to?"
"St. Mungo's. We're gonna get you, Ginny and Neville checked out, just to make sure you're okay."
"Whatever."
"I'm sorry, Malfoy."
"Don't be. She wasn't."
Well, it's back to speaking with my mind again. We're on good terms he and I. He was my only company in Azkaban, probably one of the things that kept me from losing my fragile grip on sanity. He was just a substitute till I saw her again. Now...............
I suppose there are worse things I could be doing.
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If I smile and don't believe,
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream.
Don't try to fix me,
I'm not broken.
Hello,
I'm the lie living for you,
So you can hide.
Don't cry.
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How long do they have to poke and prod me like this? It feels like it's been an hour since they started. I'm fine! I've just been in Azkaban for three years! I'm just dandy. After all, everything's fine. I'm fine, she's fine. She didn't die. She's probably just in a coma. Weasley probably just exaggerated like usual.
Maybe I'll ask for a sedative, then I'll probably wake up. Yes, that'll do it. I'll wake up back at home. I'll order the houselves to get me a butterbeer and some chocolate frogs and I'll practice skewering the witch and wizard cards with curses. That's what I'll do. It'll all be a dream. Voldemort will still be at large, but not around. He won't have taken over the Ministry, the wizarding world. Azkaban wouldn't be under his thumb. I wouldn't have gone there......
"Well, you're underfed and your muscles are out of use, but that can be cured easily. Get out in the sun and eat. You're a bit pale as well,"
"I've always been pale, you git."
"Of course. Sorry. You're done now. You can go."
"Finally."
Merlin! Is that my face? I, I look like a skeleton! Why did that prat doctor have to move out of the way of that mirror. I'm so pale, paler than I ever was. And my bones are sticking out. When did this happen? I never noticed this. The mirror must be enchanted. That's it. The doctor just wants to get more cash after his patients see themselves worsened because of a really lame mirror. Well, he won't be getting any money from me. But then again, if that were the case, then why can I feel my bones when I feel my wrist? Why.......
There's no point in focusing on outward appearances. There's always time for that later.
"Malfoy,"
"Weasley, what do you want?"
"I just wanted to tell you that you have a visitor."
"Weasley, that's not funny. You know my Mother's dead and hopefully you lot killed my Father. I don't have any other relatives."
"I didn't say it was a relative."
"Whatever. Where is this person?"
"He's waiting for you outside the hospital."
"Shy is he? Well, alright then."
What a git. Waiting outside for me. What? Is he afraid to be seen with me? Well he should be. I'm not the most pleasant person to be around. I pride myself on..............
Why is he here? Why? There's his stupid wild hair and that stupid scar and his stupid face just sitting there waiting for me. Bloody hell! Why is he here?
"I thought we agreed never to see each other again, Potter."
"Hullo to you too, Malfoy."
"Look, Potter, this isn't time for 'hullos'. Why are you here?"
"Came to talk to you."
"Obviously. You're awfully dense for being the savior of the world, Potter."
"I'm not the savi-,"
"Oh, shut up with your whining! What do you want?"
"I wanted to thank you. Voldemort never saw it coming."
"It wasn't my decision."
"Ultimately it was. You didn't have to do it."
"It was the perfect plan. My plan. You didn't have anything to do with it."
"Of course."
"Are you mocking me, Potter?"
"No. It's true. It was all your idea, as much as you refuse to admit it."
"Now, don't let's get hasty. It was the only thing I could come up with at the time."
"I know, and it was brilliant."
"Don't expect me to thank you for that, Potter."
"I don't."
"Good."
"Why'd you do it then?"
"Because. I didn't choose to. It was a matter of having to. I had to do it. Didn't want to, but had to. Potter, I didn't choose to come over to your side. If I didn't, I would have gotten killed for sure. I owe nothing to you guys."
"Right, you owe Dumbledore for showing you the difference between right and wrong."
"Shut up when I'm trying to talk, Potter! I didn't choose this fate. We were at the end of our ropes three years ago. I knew Voldemort was going to make a move on you. Everyone depends on you, not me, so all the more reason to get you out of there. It was only logical: Take polyjuice potion and spread a rumor that the wonderful, famous Harry Potter was leading a force against Azkaban fortress. Only it wasn't the famous Harry Potter. It was the traitor Draco Malfoy, the only survivor of that battle besides Ginny Weasley and Longbottom."
"At least you survived."
"Yes, in Azkaban, while you were in hiding, waiting to surprise Voldemort at the last minute."
"You know, till the end, he believed that I had been in Azkaban. He never saw it coming."
"I'm sure he didn't. Dictators tend to be obnoxiously pigheaded about such things as their downfall."
"We owe our survival to you."
"Please, Potter. Don't say things that you don't mean."
"I do mean it. I wouldn't be, well, alive if you hadn't come up with that plan."
"Damn straight."
"So,"
"So."
"Where are you going now?"
"Who knows? Where is she buried?"
Potter blanched. I honestly think that at one point in time, he had a thing for her. But that could just be my jealous side speaking up. He could have easily. She was a Gryffindor and he had easier access to her than I.
"We made a burial plot in Godric's Hollow. All of us who've died in the war are buried there."
"Everyone?"
"Everyone."
"Thanks."
"She fought bravely, you know. She told me to tell you that, well, that it was brave, what you did. She knew you didn't have to. She wanted me to thank you for that."
I didn't answer him. I disapparated and as I did I tried to conjure up her voice in my head, tried to make her say those words to me, tried to make her speak from her place among the dead.
Draco, I know you didn't have to do that for Harry. I know how you feel about him, how you, well, rather loathe him. You didn't have to do that and it was brave of you to do it anyway. Thank you. Whether you realize it or not, most likely it will be not, but you saved us all. You saved Harry so he could live. That's an incredible sacrifice for one that you dislike. Thank you, Draco. Thank you for sacrificing yourself so we can live.
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Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping.
Hello,
I'm still here,
All that's left of yesterday.
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So this is it. It's rather gloomy. Lots of overhanging trees and such. Stupid things, they're almost hiding the burial grounds from view. Figures that Potter would have the plot be in Godric's Hollow. They say that's where his parents died. I wouldn't know. I never cared to listen to Potter whine about his parents' deaths. My parents died long ago and I never whined about it. Bodily they weren't dead, but in soul they were dead to me.
Well, I'll say one thing for Potter, he certainly picked big walls to enclose the cemetary. Just like a cemetary wall. It's covered with scary looking moss. Again, probably Potter's contribution. What's this? A brass plate on the pillar.
Dedicated to all those who paid the ultimate sacrifice for their friends and family and those unknown to them: the future.
Nice, I suppose. As much as I don't want to go in there, I will anyway. I have to. She's waiting.
Merlin, so many gravestones! So many people I actually knew!
Hannah Abbot, Lavender Brown, Argus Filch, Minerva McGonagall, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil, Dean Thomas, Blaise Zabini, even Cedric Diggory. Potter must have had his body moved here. Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, even Slytherins. So, I'm not the only one who changed colors. Happened after I was gone, most likely. Couldn't face up to me, I suppose.
There it is.
Hullo, love. Glad I found you. Didn't think I would with all these bloody trees and leaves. Stupid really, to put so much greenery around here. Some people might actually want to read the tombstones. Probably Potter's idea. Alright, I'll stop ripping at Potter, but you've got to admit, love, he can be a bit of a git sometimes. Sorry I didn't make it back in time to talk to you again. I know I promised. I'm sorry I left in a huff. I didn't mean to argue.
I just didn't want you to make me out to be some sort of hero when I wasn't. I didn't care about Potter. I did it so that the magical world wouldn't fade out. I could care less about Potter. You know I never have. But see, the magical world is all I have. I could never resort to living like a Muggle. Can you imagine me as a Muggle? Don't laugh. I can't. There's a lot of people here, love. So many. You won't be lonely, that's for sure. Even that old bat, McGonagall croaked.
Not much point to my visit. I just wanted to tell you that I made it. I survived Azkaban. Now everyone can chalk me up there with Sirius Black. I survived it, of course, Ginny Weasley and Longbottom did too, but that's something completely different. I made it. Me, the one everyone thought wouldn't make it. So I suppose I just came to brag. That certainly is lame, but it is me after all.
I'll probably come see you some other time. Right now, everything's all mixed up in my head. I've just got to let things settle down, I suppose. Give it time, that's what you always said. Give it time and things will get better. They always do. That's right. I remember. Aren't you proud? I'm sure you are.
But anyhow, love, I'm still here. I'm one of the few that's left. Of course the wonderful threesome made it out alive. I'm sure you're glad that they did, though I can't feel the same joy. Of course, if any of them had died it would only have given Potter something else to whine about. But truly, love, it's odd. I'm all that's left of the world before, of the Slytherins anyhow. I've still got my old prejudices, my old pride, my old thoughts. I haven't changed.
I'm all that's left of those days. Potter will change. Weasley will change. Granger will change. But not me. Never me. I'll never change.
Never.
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A/N: All song credits go to Evanescence, "Hello". I decided to address the issue of the "She" that Draco refers to and speaks to at the end of this story. Basically "she" is whoever. You honestly don't think Draco would tell us, even in his mind? She was a Gryffindor, that's all he'll reveal. Some of my older reviewers may connect who she is, who they think she is. She could be a character from my story "Harry Potter and the Master's Mirror", and she might not be. It's basically up to you, the reader. You fill in the blanks. And to those of you who HAVE read "Harry Potter and the Master's Mirror" and think that "She" is a certain character from that story........don't worry. This isn't going to be the fate of Draco or "She" in that series. You think I would give away as big a plot bunny as this before posting the actual story?? Don't you know me at all. ;-)
I sincerely hope you all enjoyed this story. It was very depressing and sad, yes, but a nice little ficlet to write over an afternoon. I hope I captured a suitable Draco for you all and that I captured all the other characters as accurately as could be portrayed in a ten page story. Thanks for reading!!
T.H.
