Morgan Freeman: So, it has come to my attention that you all need therapy. Like, really bad.
Zep: NOOOOOOO
Hoffman: Shut up bitch, it's not a big deal. Sheesh.
Amanda: *whispers* I love you John
Morgan Freeman: Umm…ok-ay. I will start by asking a question and we go around the room answering it. First question-
Lawrence: Wait!
MF: What?
Lawrence: …I have to go to the bathroom.
MF: Fine. Go.
(Lawrence leaves then comes back)
Lawrence: There's a body in the bathroom…
Amanda: JOHNNN!
*John walks in*
John: Sup.
MF: Okay, now that we're all here, first question- Confess something you feel you need to obsess less over.
John: Bathrooms.
Amanda: John…
Hoffman: The Earth loves me man…*starts to play the bongos* (singing) Earth is my mother
Adam: Was that a yo mamma joke?
Tapp: Alright you two.
MF: What? When did you get here?
Tapp: Shut up. You're just jealous because my voice is more awesomer than yours.
Adam: More awesomer?
James Earl Jones: Wrong. My voice is Awesomest.
MF: …He's right.
Tapp: Yeah.
MF: Okay, next question. Tell us a little bit about yourselves.
Adam: I was born a poor black child…
Zep: Shut up man, no one gets your references!
Adam: Hey! I thought I killed you with a toilet!
Zep: You did…*holds fingers in two interlocking circles, puts behind head, brings them out separated* ooohhh..
Adam: Whoa!
John: I wrote a song…
MF: Wonderful! Let's hear it.
Song: Jigsaw and I know it. Written by DARWIN51 performed by John
Yeah Yeah
When I walk on by, people be like "shit I'm gonna die"
I always wear a pigs mask or targets on my cheek Yeah.
That's how I roll, with my reverse bear trap outta control
Ahh… girl look at that handsaw
…you saw your own foot off
Try and find my key…
I-I-I ride a trike!
Ahh…Just look at Adam
…He's in a bathtub
He kills Zep with a toilet…
I-I-I hide keys!
When I walk in the room (yeah)
This is what I see (okay)
Everybody points all their guns at me
I got a twisted sense of fun and I aint afraid to show it
Show it show it show it…
I'm Jigsaw and I know it…
Bitch I'm Jigsaw and I know it
-fin-
Adam: That was very revealing.
Lawrence: I told you I wasn't Jigsaw!
Tapp: Damnit. You're under arrest.
John: Wahhh! Morgan, he can't do that!
MF: Now now, we can't arrest people for sharing their feeeelings here.
Tapp: Stupid bitch
MF: Anyways. Lets continue. Our next activity is to admit your deepest fears.
Adam: Deep? The ocean.
Hoffman: The ocean is our friend, brother *plays bongos again*
Zep: Will you cut that out? *grabs bongos and breaks them, throws them out the window, pours gasoline out the window then lights a match , drops it, and watches the bongos explode* How do ya LIKE me now bitch?
Hoffman: It's okay, brother. We are like twin bears swimming upstream against the current of life.
John: Hoffman, I told you to stop smoking crack.
Amanda: Crack? Where!
John: *facepalm* have I taught you nothing?
Adam: Um. I..I…
MF: what Adam? You can share anything here.
Adam: I need a tampon.
Everyone: *facepalm*
Yes I wrote the parody and I'm damn proud of it.
