"First thing's first; it's gonna be hard. There will be tears. There will be times when you'll feel like it's not worth it. But I assure you, you'll be happy with your decision." Principle Nicholas Fury paced his office, never taking his eye off of the exchange students sitting before him. Yes, eye in the singular form. Fury's other eye was covered by an old fashioned, pirate-style eyepatch, but this didn't faze the newcomers. Fury didn't trust that.

"Yes, we're very excited about this year," Thor, the elder of the two, said. "Aren't we, brother?"

"Sure, can't wait to see how much it's going to be just like the movies!" the younger said, the inflection in his voice not matching his face. He hadn't introduced himself upon entering and hadn't looked up from his phone.

"Alright," Fury continued, "Here are your name tags." He handed them two stickers with "HI MY NAME IS" inscribed at the top. Thor happily took out a pen and wrote his name in all capital letters, adding a little lightning bolt to the end with a flourish.

"With all due respect sir," the other boy said, "I'm not wearing this."

"With all due respect, you don't have a choice," Fury replied.

"I don't know about—" Fury grabbed the arms of the kid's chair and glared at him. He chuckled nervously. "May I have a pen?" he asked. Fury strolled over to his desk.

"Think fast," he said, throwing a Sharpie.

The kid squinted, letting the marker hit him right between the eyes. He cursed to himself as he wrote his name in neat, albeit small, cursive.

"Well, it's been nice meeting you, Loki," Fury said.

"And you as well," Loki said, walking out the door.

"Oh, and, kid?"

"Yes?"

"Loosen up a little. You'll make more friends that way." Fury struggled on the word friends, like he wanted it out of his mouth as soon as possible.

"Don't worry," Loki said, "that's not something I'm worried about." Loki threw the Sharpie in Fury's face, walking into the incoming herd of students.

"Hey Loki," Thor said, trying to catch up with his brother in the hallway. "What's your first class today?"

"We've been over this, Thor," Loki replied, "It's English."

"No need to be snappy, I was just trying to make conversation."

"Sorry," Loki said, "I just, I don't understand why you're so excited about this. It's an American public high school. It's the dollar store of education."

"Loki, it's a brand new start for us. Plus, it'll be nice to see how the other half lives."

"Congratulations Thor, you've managed to sound snobbier than I," Loki said. They approached the main stairwell.

"Hey, I have to go to the second floor. Have a nice day!" Thor yelled after his brother. Loki just kept walking. "Loki!" Thor yelled. Loki snapped around. "Be nice, okay?"

Loki rolled his eyes. He smiled and waved to his brother, then turned back around. In a few short steps, he was in room 211 for his period one class.

His first impression of the 10th grade English room was that it was an absolute mess. The walls were so covered in posters of comic books, movies, and old projects that he couldn't tell what color the walls were painted. One particular wall dressing that caught Loki's eye was taken from the dictionary. It read, "EXCELSIOR. Latin adverb; higher—motto of New York". It was probably one of those teacher gimmicks where they make a quote sound much more intelligent than it really is, Loki thought. He sat down in the back of the class next to a red-haired girl in a black hoodie. He looked down at his phone.

"Airdrop," it read, "Nat's Phone would like to share a photo." It was a picture of Tommy Wiseau from The Room. Loki looked at the girl again. She was suppressing a laugh and trying to avoid eye contact with him.

"You're clever," he said, "I've never actually gotten that one before."

"Really?" the girl had gotten control of herself. "You're a dead ringer."

"Some people say Gotye in that one video or Kylo Ren. Most say Keanu Reeves. Normies."

"Oh my God, I've never heard someone say 'normies' out loud before," she said. Loki turned a bright shade of red and started looking at his phone again. The girl saw this and tried to laugh it off.

"Hey," she said, "I'm… Natasha." She was wearing that fake smile that's appropriate for when awkwardly making eye contact with a stranger.

"Loki Odinson," he said, reaching out to shake her hand. She took her hand out from her hoodie pocket, shook his, then stuffed it right back in.

"Hey, wait, you're that kid who—" Loki shot her a glare. She raised her arms in resignment. "Sorry," she said, "I get it."

"Thanks," he said. Natasha opened her mouth to speak, but the teacher cut her off.

"Welcome students!" a disembodied voice said, "To the wonders of tenth grade English!" Suddenly, an old man staggered in from the hallway. He was met with thunderous applause from everyone except Natasha and Loki. They exchanged confused looks.

"Ok, for those who don't know me, I'm Stanley Lee, or Stan Lee, yes I'm aware my full name is my first name, or Mr. Lee. Let's see, I taught your brother," he pointed to a girl in the first row. "And I taught your aunt, and maybe even your grandmother," he said to another kid toward the back. "Now, enough nepotism for today. We're gonna do the name thing to start us off." Everyone groaned.

"What's the name thing?" Loki asked Natasha.

"Oh, do they not do that in Britain? There's this thing teachers always do on the first day of school where they make everyone say their name and a cool thing about them. Mine's been 'I have a dog' since Kindergarten."

"Oh. Yeah, I've never heard of that. I've never been in a classroom with more than two people in it at a time."

"Lucky you."

The students formed a circle around the perimeter of the room, leaving Mr. Lee in the middle. Loki and Natasha stuck together, Loki staying to the left toward the door.

"Alright, who would like to go first?" Mr. Lee said.

"I'll go," the girl on the other side of Loki said. He clicked his tongue.

"Go ahead and tell us your name, your birthday, what you like to do for fun, and, uh, your favorite ice cream flavor," Mr. Lee said.

"Ok, I'm Wanda Maximoff, my birthday is June 26, I do drama, and I'm allergic to dairy."

"Between the two of you, that's a lot of Russian in one room," Loki muttered. "Somebody's gonna start a revolution."

"Yeah, to escape the Brits."

"I'm not gonna deny that."

"Would you two like to share whatever's so funny with the rest of the class?" Mr. Lee said.

"I, I um—" Natasha started.

"I'm just playing. Why won't the next person in the circle go."

"Ok, my name is Loki Laufeyson, I don't know my birthday, I eat the souls of the innocents for fun, and my favorite ice cream flavor is pistachio."

"Would you like to elaborate on… any of that?" Mr. Lee said.

"No."

"Alright then. Next?" Mr. Lee shifted his attention to Natasha.

"Oh, I'm Natasha Romanoff, my birthday is November 22, I hang out with my dog, and my favorite ice cream flavor is salted caramel pretzel."

"Is that one of those new-fangled Jen and Berry's flavors?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess you could say that."

"It sounds really good though. Better than pistachio." A slight giggle grew among the students. Loki rolled his eyes.

They went through the rest of the kids in the class fairly quickly. The only standouts Loki could remember were a kid who played competitive Super Smash Bros. and a girl whose parents had the insipidity to name her Jane Foster. The rest of the class went as usual for a first day; they were given a syllabus listing what they were going to be learning about this year. The books were, of all things, Be More Chill, Hamlet, Lord of the Flies, and The Fault in Our Stars.

"This man is looney," Loki said.

"I don't think you should be saying that about Mr. Lee. He obviously knows what he's doing. He's worked here for over 50 years and he was my brother's favorite teacher," Wanda, who Loki had just realized was sitting at the desk in front of him, said.

"What happened?" Loki replied.

"What do you mean?"

"You said he was your brother's favorite teacher."

"My brother's dead, you ass."

Loki's face fell. He tried to say something, but Wanda had turned away. He caught Natasha shake her head disapprovingly out of the corner of his eye.

The sound of the homeroom bell rang through the classroom. "All you guys have to do tonight for homework is get this syllabus signed by a parent or guardian. Have fun in homeroom! Excelsior!" Mr. Lee said.

"Hey," Loki said, tapping Wanda on the shoulder. "I'm sorry. About what I said. I honest to God didn't know anything about that."

"You seem to know a lot about a lot of things," Wanda said, getting up. "And for the record, I'm not Russian, I'm Sokovian."

"Oh good, you guys are talking to each other!" Mr. Lee came over to Loki's desk. "Loki, this is Wanda, she's our exchange student ambassador. She's gonna help you get adjusted to the new school."

A look of sudden understanding came to Wanda's face. "Oh, you're him," she said, "That explains a lot."

"You kids get to class now, ok?" Mr. Lee said.

"Let's go," Wanda said. She grabbed her bag and stormed out, with Loki trailing close behind. He waved goodbye to Natasha on his way out. "Just because I'm contractually obligated to do so, I'm inviting you to try out for the school musical." Wanda said, not looking at Loki.

"When are auditions?" he replied.

"Wait, you actually want to do it?"

"Yeah, I dabbled in the theater back home."

"What voice part are you, then?"

"Tenor, but I can sing Bari if need be."

"Holy crap, you actually know what you're talking about."

"Actually," Loki mocked. Wanda ducked into a door, almost as if she was trying to lose Loki in the hallway. No, she was definitely trying to lose him. He looked at the room number; it was their homeroom. Loki entered. What he saw was a room full of teens looking at their phones and one big, blonde idiot waving to him.

"Brother!"

Loki sighed. "Wanda," he said, "Where's that sign-up sheet?"