Stiles sighs.
He finally managed to get the whole pack together for movie night, which he will never plan again, thank you very much because that was a serious pain in the ass (though he probably will since otherwise they wouldn't have any organization). He ordered the pizza, so much that he thought the pizza man was going to break his back when he brought them all to the door, and he made sure no one actually killed each other when it was time to pick the movie. Not to mention, he generously volunteered his house for the location, which he will also never do again (Dad will kill him if he doesn't get those stains out of the couch). It took a ridiculous amount of planning on his part.
And here the asshole alpha is sitting in the corner, not even participating, and staring at his phone like he can suddenly use laser vision to melt it into a puddle. What a useless boyfriend. Stiles is pretty sure Derek is posting angry selfies to some emo website. It's totally a Derek thing to do, and after all of Stiles' hard work.
He sighs again.
"Shut up, Stiles, I can't hear the movie over your dramatic sighing." Lydia frowns up at him from the couch and Stiles mutters and apology before sidling away and sitting on the floor a few feet from Derek. Derek quickly angles his phone screen away from Stiles.
"Der-bear, what have I told you about posing angry selfies for all the emo teenagers to see?"
Derek's eyebrows scrunch together and he has this serious pouty lip going on that Stiles would definitely kiss of his face if it weren't for the fact that he was trying to make a point. "Don't call me Der-bear."
"Now, cupcake-" Derek growls. "-don't be like that. You'll give all those poor emo kids the wrong idea."
His eyebrows scrunch even more. Stiles has to nearly kick himself to stop from starting some serious PDA. "Go watch your movie, Stiles."
Stile pouts. "It's your movie too."
"I'm busy."
"With what?"
"None of your business." Derek sounds downright childish. Stiles loves it.
"But you're always on your phone," Stiles whines, and then he throws himself dramatically to the ground. Derek ignores him.
Stiles smirks and his hand darts forward to grab the phone. Derek easily swats him away. He tries again and Derek stops him with a pointed glare. Around the fifth try, Derek tries to uses his foot to push Stiles away, but Stiles uses his own limbs to his advantage (he never thought he'd be thanking genetics for that) and flails around for a bit before Derek gives up. Perfect.
With a mischievous grin, Stiles waits until Derek is distracted by something on his phone before he gets a hold of one of Derek's shoes and starts to tug it off. Derek makes an angry sound and pushes him away, and that seems to be the final straw. Just as Stiles is about to start tying Derek's shoelaces together, Erica leans across back of the couch and smacks him across the face with one of the pillows. Stiles squeaks and falls over and Derek chuckles.
"What was that for?"
Erica grins and looks downright terrifying. "If you interrupt the movie again, I'm going kick your ass."
Stiles, realizing he can't win every battle, nods solemnly. "Very, very sorry."
"You better be," Isaac calls from the love-seat.
Stiles leans to where he can see the movie from between the furniture and tries, really, really tries to watch, but he can't help but notice how intently Derek is still looking at his phone. Suddenly he has an idea. He is a genius. He scoots closer to Derek, who glances up at him with suspicion, and starts running a hand up the inner seam of Derek's jeans.
The werewolf narrows his eyes but otherwise doesn't stop him. Stiles makes it all the way to Derek's thigh before he starts crawling up into Derek's lap, and his boyfriend slowly sets his phone down -out of Stiles' reach- as he responds, pulling Stiles closer and closing the gap between their lips. Aware that he's in a room full of werewolves, Stiles tries to keep the noise-making to a minimum, but Jackson's disgusted growl and Scott's world-weary sigh pretty much tell him they know what he's doing.
Screw them, Stiles has a plan.
One snakes between them and under the hem of Derek's shirt an the other presses down between his thighs, and Derek grips him by the hips and pulls him forward and arches into his touch. Stiles smiles against Derek's lips because his plan is freaking amazing and it's working like a charm. He bites down on Derek's lip and earns a soft moan, and it would be so easy to forget about the phone right now.
Isaac coughs and Stiles realizes he needs to act fast. He puts everything into his last chance, pushing the heel of his palm between Derek's thighs and biting down hard on his bottom lip again, and he uses the split second of distraction to lunge for the phone which Derek has long forgotten. Derek doesn't even realize what's happening until Stiles is already off his lap and he doesn't move nearly fast enough to stop him and yes! Stiles rolls away with the phone in triumph and opens the lock screen to finally see what horrible, horrible things his hot, but emotionally constipated boyfriend has been doing and-
Okay, he was not expecting that.
"Oh my god, Derek, are you serious?"
"Give it back, Stiles."
"Wow, just… wow."
"Stiles."
Between the phone and Derek's disgruntled expression, Stiles can't hold in his laughter anymore. He snorts so loud, he feels like his brain is coming out through his nose and someone nearly falls off the couch in surprise.
"What the hell, Stilinski-?" Jackson starts.
"I can't believe it," Stile chokes out between bouts of laughter. "This is what you've been doing the whole time?"
Allison pauses the movie and Erica leans over the back of the couch. "What are you talking about?" She asks, looking like she's really close to nailing him with a pillow again. Stiles doesn't let her get any ideas and holds up the phone, reveling in Derek's expression of pure humiliation and Erica's sudden onslaught of laughter.
"What is it?" Scott asks, looking like he's not sure whether to be amused or mortified.
Erica catches her breath just long enough to bark out, "Derek's been playing that Kim Kardashian game," before promptly falling off the couch. It takes a second before the whole living room is filled with laughter.
Completely satisfied with the result of his crusade (even if this means Derek will probably kill him after movie night), Stiles leans back and shoots Derek his biggest pumpkin grin.
Derek growls and puts his hands over his face. "You're horrible," Stiles hears him say from behind his fingers. "I hate you."
"I can't believe I'm dating someone who plays Kim Kardashian : Hollywood."
Stiles leans in until they're almost chest to chest and pulls Derek's hands down. He plants a kiss on Derek's nose. "You're unbelievably adorable."
Derek snorts. "Shut up, Stiles."
"Make me."
Yep, totally worth it.
