Disclaimer: If we owned Twilight we would be writing Breaking Dawn. If we owned High School Musical, we would be eagerly awaiting the Disney Channel Premiere of HSM2 and not posting this story. Clearly, we own nothing of much interest
"Bella, love, can you please just tell me straight out. Why won't you marry me?"
I sighed in exasperation. It felt like we had been having this conversation very often since our return from Italy. "I told you. I'm only eighteen and Renée-"
Edward interrupted me, his eyes, as always, dazzling. "Please, Bella. You and I both know that isn't the real reason." I tried to look away from his smoldering eyes, but it was too late.
"Fine! But it's not my fault that you can't fish!"
"Well, if it's that important to you-"
"NO!" My mind flashed back to my darker past. I hadn't shared these memories with anyone, not even Edward.
I was seven, fishing with Rachel and Rebecca Black on one of my summers in Forks. Rachel was pulling up her line while Rebecca and I waited with baited breath. From the corner of my eye I caught a flash of movement from the end of her pole. I froze. Obviously expecting me to be pleased, Rachel held the wriggling fish right up to my face like a present. I was revolted.
"AARGH!" I screamed, terrified by the tiny catch.
"But Bella, it's just a minnow. I mean, it is a pretty big minnow, but…"
Suddenly Rebecca screamed "Look out Bella! A SHARK"
Quickly, I raised myself from my reverie. I didn't even want to recount my reaction to that. The memory faded into the next, much more satisfying one.
"Bella, honey, have you seen…ummmm… Demon the fish?" The look on her face showed all too clearly that she regretted allowing me to name the family pet. My nine year old self tried to look innocent, knowing that once she opened her mouth the game would be up. "I went to feed him, but I saw that his bowl was empty," Renée continued. "And…have you seen the steak knife?"
As I looked up from my walk down Memory Lane, I was again grateful that Edward couldn't hear my thoughts. However, from the look in the face I realized that he might have discerned the gist of the memories. I suddenly remembered telling him about the three pet fish I had killed. Uh-oh. I opened my mouth to explain, but Edward cut me off, hoping not to distract me any further from our original conversation.
"Okay, I don't even think I want to know. Is there anything else I can do?"
"Well… Charlie has always had a strange obsession with musical theatre. And you and I both know that he is the least supportive of our relationship, so…."
Later, at the Cullen House
As we walked into the house, Alice greeted us with a smile that seemed, as usual, just a little too knowing. Edward waited for the rest of his family to assemble before beginning. "Bella and I have an announcement to make," he began. Silence fell across the room. "We have decided to audition for the play High School Musical at the Forks Center for the Performing Arts."
The quiet was shattered as laughter broke out amongst the Cullens.
"And we would like you to audition with us."
Silence again. I glanced at Edward, wondering what everyone must be thinking. From his expression, I gathered that it was not good.
"But it's the only way that Charlie will let Bella and I get married. Don't you want her as a part of our family?" Edward pleaded. Amidst the chorus of yes's, I thought I heard Rosalie mutter a "no." Edward shot her a glare, and Carlisle quickly intervened before things could get messy.
"Explain this to me," he said to me, his forehead creased with incomprehension. "Musical theatre and you and Edward getting married. How do they relate?"
"Well," I began, taking in the looks of confusion on the faces around me. "It all began one day when I woke up earlier than usual. I heard the most peculiar sound coming from the direction of the bathroom. I eventually realized that it was Charlie…singing. Or, at least, trying to. Through the horribly off-tune screeches, I could barely pick out any words at all. Eventually, I recognized a familiar line-"
"The Phantom of the Opera is there- inside my mind."
Looking up at them, I noticed that the faces of everyone except Edward wore a horrified expression and were noticeably paler than usual. Edward, however, merely said "I was wondering why Charlie was always thinking about musical theatre as 'cleansing to the soul'."
"I found out later that that was his personal motto," I said as I continued with the story. After a long conversation with Charlie, I deduced that his undying passion for musical theatre equaled that of his fishing and sports-watching pastimes. And if we want Charlie to agree to let me marry Edward, we need to get on his good side."
"But I don't get it," said Jasper. "Why do we have to humiliate ourselves singing? Can't we just go fishing with him or something?"
"NOO!" Edward and I shouted in unison. Everyone stared.
"Sorry," I said. "I just have this unexplained pathological fear of fish. I don't really know why." This did nothing to alleviate the stares.
"Okay, let me get this straight. You get one little paper cut and we uproot our entire family. But you can't go on one stupid fishing trip for us?" asked Jasper. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not so I decided to play it dumb.
"Ummm…yep. That's pretty much it. So glad you understand though, Jasper."
"Well why can't we just watch sports on TV with Charlie. That doesn't sound too bad," said Emmett.
"NOOO!" Carlisle, Alice, Edward, and I all shouted. We then looked at each other in surprise.
"Been there, done that," I explained
"Me too," added Edward.
"I had a vision," Alice said shakily, sinking into the nearest chair.
"Ooooh, what?!" Emmett asked eagerly.
"I'll just give you the basics.
Hour One
"Everyone was cheering and yelling excitedly, dressed in team colors and painting stripes on each others faces.
Hour Two
"There was silence except for the constant 'GO TEAM!' and 'HEY REF…WHAT WAS THAT CALL!' from Charlie and an occasional 'Pass the chips.' from Bella, who was sitting in a pile of empty soda bottles…and Emmett, who, as we all know, doesn't even eat chips.
Hour Three
"Jasper's screech of 'Hey, is that the mailman I hear?' brought everyone to their feet and running to the door until we were called back with a 'C'mon guys. Extra Innings! YES!' from Charlie.
Hour Four
"Everyone stared off into space, looking anywhere but the TV, occasionally banging our heads against the wall in frustration. Charlie, wrapped up in a hockey game, didn't even notice.
Hour Twenty-Four
"'Touchdown.' Emmett moaned in what he obviously hoped was an excited and enthusiastic voice. 'Emmett, for the last time, this is tennis - not football,' Charlie said disapprovingly. 'What are you thinking Emmett,' said Edward, with a rather dazed look on his face, though he was clearly trying to impress Charlie, 'It's clearly basketball.' 'TENNIS!' screamed Charlie.
Leaving
"As the door shut everybody cheered. I said that I thought it went 'just fabulously,' while Jasper wondered why we couldn't have just eaten Charlie and saved ourselves the trouble because he was just a mortal and would have died anyway."
At the conclusion of that story, Esme turned to Carlisle. "Why did you scream?"
"I just felt kinda left out," he said before quickly changing the subject. "But I guess that leaves us with musical theatre!"
"NOOOO!" shouted Rosalie, all alone
