Chuck stood there watching Cece be put down into her grave he was holding Serena tightly in his arms. She was sobbing uncontrollably and even though he was never good at consoling people he knew he had to be there for her. She was his sister and Chuck Bass was not going to let her go through this alone. He remembered how he felt when his father died and his heart drop to the floor. He couldn't help but look away. Chuck decided that it would be better to stare in another direction; he didn't think he could handle the pain of reliving that memory.
In the opposite side of the grave stood Dan and Blair. Chuck quickly moved his eyes from the couple and simply concentrated in consoling Serena. After Cece was buried he took Serena's hand and quickly started walking towards his limo. Once they were inside he didn't know what to say.
For the longest time Serena just sobbed and Chuck just stared out the window. Then he broke the silence.
"Serena, I don't think I can stay in New York anymore…" he said as his voiced cracked. He was broken. He had been broken his whole life and just when his love for Blair had start to put him back together it all fell apart in front of his eyes…not once but many times.
Serena quickly looked into his eye and removed the tears from her face. She grabbed his hand and held it tight.
"Chuck, you are a good person. I know I have not always believed in you but I do. You have been an amazing friend to me all these years and now you have become an amazing older brother. I don't want to lose you but I understand if you need to get away. I will never judge you or believe you gave up. Chuck you fought hard. You fought for her like no one ever did. Someday she will regret losing you."
Chuck felt the tears start running down his face and for the first time with tears in his eyes he stared right into Serena's eyes.
"I love her. I love her more than anything and anyone Serena. Watching with Humphrey has been the most painful experience of my life. I know I have been a horrible person. I know that I hurt her, but I changed for her. I changed because I love her. Because I wanted to be the man I can be for her. " As he continued speaking he completely broke. Serena was surprised she had never seen Chuck cry like this. Then she remembered she had never seen him cry before. Naturally she just held him in her arms, like had he had held her at the funeral. He continued sobbing "I can't stay here and watch her with him. I know he is better than me. He probably deserves her Serena. I should have never made myself believe I had a chance at happiness. I should have known better. People like me do not get happy endings. Bad people can't have happiness"
"I…Chuck….Chuck you are not bad. Chuck you are wonderful. You need to believe in yourself. So what if Blair doesn't believe in you anymore. I believe in you. My mother believes in you. Cece believed in you. Nate believes in you. We will always believe in you." She hugged him tightly and said "I think you should move to England. Take some time away from New York. From this world. I can come with you for a couple of weeks while you set up? You can move Bass Industries there"
He remained silence for a while waiting for the tears to stop flowing from his eyes. Chuck continued to stare out the window. Simply watching the city lights pass by. Maybe she was right. It was time to leave this city to leave all the pain behind and to move on. From his childish behavior, move on from the ghost of his father and Blair. It was right then that he decided that enough was enough. It was time for him to let her go.
He suddenly gave Serena a weak smile and said " Thank you sis. You are clearly worth getting less money after Bart died." Letting out a small chuckle.
Serena got out of the limo and gave him a tight hug. When she stepped out she saw them. Dan and Blair going into her penthouse. She sighed and looked at Chuck. He gave her a nod and another weak and empty smiled. She responded with the same gesture and went in, but before she went she turned around…"Chuck…would you wait for me? I will just pack my essentials and I would like to move back to my mom's…I mean we need to plan your new life in England! It will be fun. We will throw a huge go away party for you. I am sure that is the way Cece would have liked it" she said giving him a genuine smile.
He chuckled and nodded.
Serena went in and saw Blair in her room changing. She knocked on the door and Blair turned around and ran to her and hugged her.
"Blair..I…I am moving out. I am going back to my mother's. Before you say anything it has nothing to do with you and Dan its just I am helping Chuck with some plans and I will need to see him a lot and I don't want to put him in this situation. He has been hurt enough and I will try my best to protect him"
Blair just stood there and flinched. She knew she had hurt Chuck like no one else. She had given him so much hope for a future with her and so many " I love yous" and then completely taken them back when her feelings were confused with Dan. Truth was she didn't know if she loved Dan, but he loved her and he felt safe. She needed safety.
"I ..I understand Serena. I am sorry. Tell Chuck I am sorry please" She said with tears filling her eyes.
Serena gave her a sad smile "Blair…Chuck doesn't regret loving you the way he does. So don't apologize. But please don't look for him or talk to him. Let him go. If you are happy with Dan and if you love Dan…just let Chuck go and move on ..for his own good"
Blair sat there in tears. She didn't know what do. What would her life be if she never spoke to Chuck again? If she never saw him again? She didn't know what to say or do so she just nodded. She figured she could live without seeing him until she figured out her feelings. She could only hope it wouldn't take her that long.
Serena hugged her for a couple of minutes until Dan entered the room. Then she awkwardly in silence left the room and went into her room to get a few essentials ready. When she finally went back into the limo Chuck seemed a little calmer.
They drove in silence until they reached Lily's penthouse. In there Chuck told Lily about his plan. He would leave for England Sunday and once he had found a decent loft and a building he would move Bass Industries there. She cried and wept saying that she would miss him.
It was then that Chuck grabbed her hand and kissed her "Lily you have been the mother I never had. The mother a man like me never deserved. You have been my rock and at the times my only supporter. I love you unconditionally. You, Serena , Eric and Nate are my family. It doesn't matter how far apart we are I swear I will carry you in my heart"
Lilly smiled and Nate put his hand in Chuck's shoulder and simply said "Chuck Bass there are few things I consider sacred…and your friendship is one of them. It will always be. I love you man"
Chuck gave him a sad smiled and looked around the room. Almost everyone he truly cared and loved was there, except her. He looked down and put his hand in between his hands and thought to himself that from now on maybe this would have to be it. He would have to get use to not seeing her anymore.
The week went by and it was finally the day. Chuck's going away party. The most prestigious families in the UES were invited and the board of Bass Industries was there to show the young Bass that they believed in his talent and his determination. Chuck looked around and felt dizzy. There were so many people and suddenly him leaving New York was finally becoming a reality. He just wished he had the courage to tell her goodbye. He wished he was strong enough to give her a goodbye in person, but he couldn't …he knew that if he saw her he would beg her to love him back. He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't let her see how much her choosing Dan Humphrey had broken him.
The party was a success and he finally got to give Lily, Eric and Nate his goodbyes. As him and Serena were getting into the limo someone snapped a picture.
Back at the Waldorf penthouse Blair was sitting in her bed. Trying to piece together her life. Confused out of her mind. She loved one man. Maybe loved another one but was married to the wrong one. The buzz of her phone woke her up from her thoughts and what she saw made her heart break. Her face went pale and as she finished reading the message and seeing the picture tears were blurring her vision. She couldn't speak. She couldn't believe it. She felt her whole world fall apart and there was nothing she could do to stop it. To put it back together. To fix it.
She let her phone drop while tears kept falling down her pink cheeks.
"Look at who we have here…S and C running away. Rumor has it these bad siblings have hit rock bottom and have decided to leave our beautiful New York City for a misty London England. B, this is one is just for you. For we all knew C decided to leave and is never coming back, but we didn't see you at his going away party. I guess C has finally given up on you. Maybe the day he decides to come back he will be back to being our Dark Knight and not the little destroyed boy B left when she ran to Lonely Boy.
As for you C, this is our official goodbye. Until you decide to return to the Kingdom you are abandoning. Too bad you left it Queenless. Looking forward to day you return with a Queen by your side.
Xoxo,
Gossip Girl"
