"Breaking Onwards and Up"

Because we all have been there, and it's never fun, and it's never easy, and love just kind of sucks.


"It's only high school. It's not like anything we do here makes a difference." I cock my head to the side, tongue clicking.

"Always glass half empty with you, huh, Sasuke?" I murmur, picking at the cherry red nail polish, I drop my hand into my lap and look up at him, he smirks at me, "What can I say? My parents are dead. I'm somewhat of a downer."

I'm not in the mood for jokes, "You use that as an excuse for everything. We get it, it's sad. But so are a lot of things."

He's no longer smirking at me. "Breaking up isn't the end of the world, you know." His voice is low and soft. I think of the way his voice sounds when we're having sex, breathy and hot, fanning against my temple.

"I know. It just feels like it." I whisper, looking away.

We're sitting in his silver Silica, and we have been for the past hour, parked outside my home. My body is turned toward his, one leg drawn up to lean against the back of the seat, he's leaned up against his car door, head resting on the cool window. Sasuke sighs, rubbing his palms against his jeans, "Well, what would you rather do? Stay together? Continue making each other miserable?"

I swallow the sting of his last comment, "You never made me miserable." As the words leave my mouth, I taste the underlining point of what he'd just said, "But I make you miserable?"

"I'm not miserable, but I'm not happy."

"Were you ever." It comes out more of a statement, rather than a question. Annoyed, he glares at me, "Sakura...-"

"-No, seriously, Sasuke. Do you even know what it's like to be happy? Have you ever felt anything besides anger and pity for your own damn self?" My words pass over him, his expression unchanging. "See, this is what I mean. All we do is fight."

"No, we also laugh and have fun. Fighting is just the collateral that comes along with dating. You should've known that when you asked me to be your girlfriend. You should've known things wouldn't always be easy, or go your way." I feel the hot tears coming, burning my eyes and blurring my vision.

He looks away, he speaks slowly, choosing his words carefully, "I just didn't know... it was going to be this hard." My jaw drops.

"You didn't know it was going to be hard? You didn't know? That's not good enough, Sasuke." My voice is quick and borderline hysterical.

"You knew this relationship was a stretch. It was never a matter of 'if' but 'when'. You and I are just too different." I swallow the lump forming in my throat with an audible gulp. "So what, you're just going to give up? Just like that? You're not even going to try to fix things?"

Sasuke sighs, running a hand through his messy hair and I mistakenly remember all the times my own hands have passed through his strands. "You like to dress up and go out, I don't. I'd rather stay home and play x-box with my friends. I'm bad at responding to texts and sometimes I forget to call. I'm bad with names, and you get frustrated with me easily because of that. None of your friends like me, any of them, and frankly, none of my friends like you either. You're always hounding me whenever I go out and party with my friends, 'who are you with, what are you doing', it's like I'm not allowed to have fun unless you're with me. You're manipulative and controlling. You always have something to complain about and you're never grateful for the small things I do for you."

It feels like I've run head straight into a brick wall, like all my bones are broken, I can hardly breathe with the weight of his words sinking in all around me. "How long have you felt like that...?" I can barely hear myself.

"For awhile now."

This is where I go berserk. I just absolutely lose it. I breakdown into uncontrollable sobs, lunging across the shifting gears, I pound my small fists against his chest. "Why didn't you tell me! I would've changed! You're my boyfriend, you shouldn't hide things like this from me!" I'm angry. I feel cheated, lied to. I'm hitting him with all the strength I can muster and he's just taking it. Which only makes me more mad. I want him to fight back, god damn it, for once in his life I want to see him fight for something. For me. For anything.

But he doesn't. And eventually I melt into him, still sobbing, and he awkwardly wraps his arms around me. Unconsciously I realize that every physical encounter has been awkward between us, like unmatched puzzle pieces that didn't quite fit right.

Sasuke pushes me away after awhile, "You should probably go now." Unable to reply, all I can do is glare at him. "It's not going to be all bad, Sakura. You'll get over it."

I look away, "You say that as if you already have."


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in the FanFic.

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Abigail