Title: The Itsy Bitsy Spider
Author: Mademoiselle Juko Pax-Prime
Rating: K+
Summary: Sam and Dean can take down vampires, werewolves, demons and malevolent spirits, but a tiny wolf spider eludes them. Go figure. :Utter crack, based on a dream I had.:
Content/Warnings: Complete idiocy, some language.
Feedback: YESSSSSS. I love feedback. Please, review. PLEASE. Constructive criticism welcomed; flames will be redirected to the underside of a bus.
Spoilers: None. I haven't even finished the second season of the show :T
Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Supernatural. This was made purely for fun.
—
"Come on, Sam, just let it go."
"There's only so many places a spider can hide in here, Dean, I'll find that sucker sooner or later."
Sam was perched on the edge of a bed in a run-down hotel, glaring at the floor. He held a tissue in one hand, a flashlight in the other, and he scanned the tan carpet for the eleventh time. There was no sign of movement, but he was sure it was there. Dean sat on the other bed with a rolled-up magazine, watching for the spider as well (but with much less enthusiasm).
"It's just a spider. There are worse things in life," said Dean. "Like, gee, demons? Evil spirits? Possessed girlfriends? Remember those?"
"I know, Dean," Sam replied. He had lost count of how many times he'd said that in the last hour alone. "You're breaking my concentration." Dean snorted, and tossed his magazine aside.
"Okay. You have fun hunting a stupid little wolf spider."
"I will," Sam muttered under his breath. He clicked the flashlight on, and shone it into one of his shoes. Nothing, as far as he could see. He checked the other shoe, then put the flashlight aside.
Several minutes passed with no sign of the spider. Sam began to wonder why the arachnid was bothering him so much. He wouldn't have even noticed if it had run across the floor a second later. But, he had seen it, and now he was determined to catch it and squish it. Dignity and Dean be damned. He was going to find that little eight-legged brat and—there!
Sam lunged at the spider, intending to catch it. Instead, he fell off of the bed and knocked his head on the nightstand. Swearing under his breath, he sat up, blinked, and looked around for the spider again.
"There you are, you little…" Sam reached out and caught the wolf spider in the tissue. He stood up with a satisfied grin, and crushed the spider. Dean raised his eyebrows.
"Feel better?"
"As a matter of fact, I do. No thanks to you," said Sam. He dropped the tissue in the little wastebasket underneath the nightstand.
It was quiet for a second, then Dean started to laugh. "I can't believe it took you an hour and a half to kill that thing, Sam. It takes less time to give an exorcism."
"Shut up, Dean," Sam said. He turned around to head to the bathroom.
"I'm serious! You were such a little girl about this; you should—son of a bitch, Sam! There is the mother of all spiders crawling up your back right now!"
"Yeah, right," said Sam. "Nice try, Dean."
"I'm serious! That thing must be the size of Australia or something!"
"Not possible, and you're a terrible li—" Suddenly, Sam felt something big, hairy and eight-legged crawl onto his arm.
