A/N Here's the first chapter of this AE. I'll hopefully post again tomorrow, but I know for a fact I won't post on Tuesday, and probably not Wednesday either. I hope that you guys like this one, but I wouldn't blame you if you don't. It's weird to get back into the mood of writing them together after he died. That and I'm very distracted watching TV, so if something doesn't make much sense, that's probably why. R/R!

It was my worst nightmare. No, scratch that, it was a million times worse than my worst nightmare. There was no way that this could happen to me, not here, not now. I close my eyes and lean against the bathroom wall, pulling my knees to my chest, dropping that dreaded pregnancy test. I take in a large gulp of air and then when I finally feel like I won't pass out, I slowly open my eyes and look to my right, at that scary white stick. The one that was going to ruin my life. The one with a pink plus sign.

I lean my head down onto his chest, my body sweaty yet still ready for another round if he was up to it. I smile and kiss his chest, my kisses obviously having an affect on his slightly tired and sweaty body. He moans a little and says, "You're going to make me strain something if you keep this up."

"You're leaving in a couple of hours," I point out, lifting my lips from his chest and looking into those eyes of his that I love. I sigh a little and he sees the upset look on my face. He quickly takes action, wrapping his arms around me and flipping us over so that I'm on the bottom and he's hovering above me. He leans down and softly touches his lips against mine, igniting the fire deep within my body again. I smile, knowing that I had won and we weren't quite done with the night yet.

"Forget that. Me and you are together right now and that's all that matters," he murmurs, pulling away to look into my eyes. He has a mix of emotions etched in his blue eyes; anxiety and desire. The mix makes him look extremely desirable, so I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and pull him back to my lips. Our kisses grow to be very heated and hard, our entire bodies pressed together. His lips move down my neck, to my breasts and I intake a sharp breath of air as he does wonders to my already turned on body.

"Ryan…" I whimper when I need him inside of me. He starts to reach for another condom but I shake my head and pull on him so that he's inside me. He looks at me with confused eyes and I say, "I can't wait." I move my hips, pulling him further into me and if Ryan was going to protest before, then he completely forgot what he was going to say now. He lets out a low, throaty moan and then starts to move inside of me. I pull his lips down to kiss my lips again, enjoying the waves of pleasure our bodies are creating together. We're so into pleasing each other that when he comes, he forgets to pull out.

Afterwards, he collapses on the spot next to me, both of us completely tired. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer to his body. Our legs tangle together and I lean my head on his chest, listening to his rapidly beating heart. It slows after a while, after his breathing calms down too. He looks at me worriedly and says, "We shouldn't have done that…"

I shake my head and say, "You know you liked it."

"Yeah, but the consequences…" He murmurs, looking into my eyes. "Are we ready for something like that yet?"

"I guess if the consequences come, we'll deal with it together," I say, trying to seem completely sure of myself. I couldn't help but wonder though; would I be ready for those consequences if they did in fact come? I close my eyes and try to relax myself, remembering that this is my last night with Ryan and my last night doesn't need to be ruined with consequences we could quite possibly not have to deal with.

Summer finds me in the same spot on the bathroom floor two hours later. I hadn't moved, just kept thinking about my current situation and how it had happened. "Your mom told me that you were upstairs…" Summer says, and then sees my current state of distress and gasps. "What's wrong?" She asks, walking closer to me. My eyes trail to the pregnancy test on the floor and she sees it too. She leans down and sees the pink plus sign and then gasps again. "Oh my God."

I nod and blankly say, "Yep."

"You're….pregnant?" She asks, tripping over the last word.

I nod again and repeat, "Yep."

"As in, with child? Knocked up? Preggars?" She asks, her eyebrows raising.

I nod and one again say, "Yep."

"Say something else!" She demands, staring at me. I wonder if a rage blackout is coming. I wonder if I would even notice.

"I am pregnant, as in a baby is inside of me. As in I'm fifteen years old and pregnant," I say matter-of-factly, even though I feel like I was drowning and there was no way to come up above the surface again.

Summer slinks down to the floor beside me and stares off into space, just like I've been doing for the past two hours. "Wow," She says after a while.

"Yep."

"Have you talked to Ryan yet?" She asks, glancing over at me.

"I don't know if I can. Steve keeps destroying all the letters…" I say with a very big sigh.

"Well, get the Cohens to send something for you," Summer suggests. "I could get my dad to drive you over there if you want. He doesn't mind driving us around. Or I could get one of the maids to do it. They like the chance to drive every once in a while…"

I shrug and say, "I don't know, Sum. It's going to be very difficult."

"Just one tiny letter," Summer points out. "That's all you have to do. Just give it to them, ask if they can send it, and then the problem is solved."

"I don't think Ryan would really like to open a letter from me that says, 'sorry for not writing sooner, but I think I'm pregnant…'" I sigh.

"Well, tell him to call you. I'm sure he can do that," Summer says, still throwing ideas out there. "And he would love to talk to you also. I've seen that boy and how much he loves to hear your voice." I blush slightly.

"Yeah…well…" I say, still hesitant.

"What else could be holding you back?" she asks with a sigh, not understanding me. She doesn't know the whole story though, and I don't know if I really want to tell her it.

"Well, I don't really know who the father is…" I admit after a while.

"What do you mean? You and Ryan…" She says, the last part more of a question than she intended it to be.

I nod and say, "Yeah, we've…" I give her a look that tells her that we have in fact had sex before. I go a little red at the thought of her knowing so much. It's one thing to tell her we're going to do it, but another thing to actually talk about us doing it.

Summer doesn't seem to notice my embarrassment and asks, "Then why do you not know who the father is?"

"Well…"

It was my first night without Ryan in weeks. I couldn't sleep, so I just settled on staring at the ceiling, counting to myself. One, two, three…

I heard a noise in the room, but didn't look up. I wasn't all that surprised that he was here. Of course he'd take advantage of Ryan being gone, and why waste the six months he has? Four, five, six…

He climbs onto the bed, straddling my waist. I think of Ryan, of the way his body felt pressed up against mine and suddenly have the urge to cry. I want to scream out his name and have him come save me once again, but I know it's not going to happen. Not this time. Seven, eight, nine….

"Little girl…" he murmurs, and I hear a zipper pull down. Ten, eleven, twelve…

His hand comes over my mouth. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…

"This will only hurt a bit…" Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen.

Afterwards, he walks out of my room. Five hundred, five hundred one, five hundred two…

Summer's eyes are wide and disturbed. "Has he…did he…was he…is it…"

I nod and say, "He's done it before. There is a very big chance that it might be his…"

Summer lets out a breath and says, "Oh my God."

I nod and close my eyes once again. "Tell me about it…"

"You still need to talk to Ryan. There's still a chance that it's his…" Summer says, trying to seem upbeat and positive. "In fact, I bet it is his."

I shake my head and say, "I'm not that lucky."

"Well…you need to go to the cops. Steve shouldn't be able to do any of this to you," Summer says, starting to stand.

I sigh and say, "I don't want to do anything until I talk to Ryan."

Summer smiles and says, "The Cohen's house then?"

I nod and say, "Yeah, let's go."

Dear Ryan,

I know I haven't been writing, but I haven't been able to. I don't really want to go into it now, but you and I need to talk. Don't worry; I'm not breaking up with you, not even close. Just…call me and we'll get this all figured out okay? It's really important and I really need to talk to you. Call me on my cell, please? I need you.

I miss you more than anything,

Marissa

"What do you think?" I ask Summer after reading her the letter.

"I think it's simple and to the point," Summer says with a nod of approval. "All the 'I love yous' and stuff will come on the phone when he calls."

"Assuming he'll call," I remind her.

She rolls her eyes and says, "This is Ryan Atwood we're talking about. That boy would look for any excuse to call you."

I laugh a little and think of Ryan. "Yeah, that's true."

"So let's go," She says, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from my room and out of the house, on our journey to go give the letter to the Cohens.

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Later that week, I get a call on my cell. It's Ryan's cell number and I wonder why I never thought of calling him on it before. "Hello?" I ask quickly, hoping that it is in fact him and he didn't lose his phone or leave it with the Cohens or something.

"Marissa," he breathes into the phone, and I immediately feel my body react to the sound of his voice. My heartbeat speeds up, my stomach gets fluttery, my palms start to sweat, I feel completely content with everything. "What's wrong? What's so important?" he asks, the worry evident in his voice. "Why haven't you been writing to me? What's going on over there?"

"It's…I…Steve…" I manage to get out, figuring the moment I say Steve's name, he'll start to understand.

I hear heavy breathing on the other line and I know that he's trying not to get upset. "Steve," he says through clenched teeth. I hear the tension in his voice. "Did he….did he…" He doesn't finish. He doesn't have to.

"Yeah…" I say, my voice tiny and weak. "He did."

"That son of a bitch," I hear him growl into the phone. "I'll kill him… I swear I will, Marissa. I'll go over there and fucking kill him."

I don't tell him not to. "But that's not it…" I say softly.

"What else has he been doing to you, Marissa?" He asks, his voice tense, but also now a lot softer and more soothing. I could tell it was hard for him to keep his cool when he was so angry, but he didn't want to make me feel upset or scared. He still wanted to protect me. "It's okay, you can tell me," He murmurs into the phone.

I lay back on the bed and say, "Sometimes he hits me. He won't let me write to you. I had to give the letter to the Cohens to send."

I hear him breathe on the other end, but he doesn't say anything. Neither do I. I just close my eyes and pretend that he's breathing close to me, that he's right next to me and we're not talking over the phone with states separating us. Finally he says, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I say, trying to console him. "You never knew that his would happen, none of us did."

"But I still should've never left you…" he said, his voice suddenly so tired. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that it was okay, that we would be okay together, but I knew that's now what he needed right now. Not to mention the fact that he was so far away.

"Ryan…" I say hesitantly, knowing that there isn't any other way around this. He needs to know. He deserves to know.

"Yes?" he asks, still sounding so tired.

"I'm…well…remember that night when you left? The last time that we were together…we were so urgent…"

He laughs a little and says, "You were so urgent."

I roll my eyes and smile a little. "Fine, I was so urgent…"

"Yeah, I remember," he says, his voice holding a smile in it. It makes my heart soar that I put that smile there.

"Well…I don't really know how to say this…" I admit, stalling a little. "But I need you to know something…"

"What is it? You can tell me," He soothes.

"I…it's something I found out the other day. And I really didn't think that you should read it in some letter because it means so much more than that…" I start, not noticing that I'm slightly rambling.

"What is it?" Ryan asks, trying to get the answer out of me.

I sigh and say, "Ryan…I'm…." I trail off, not able to say the last word.

"You're…" He urges on, giving me a gentle push with his words.

"Pregnant," I whisper.

He's silent for a minute and then he asks, "Pregnant?"

I nod, even though he can't see me and say, "Yeah.."

"We're going to have a baby?" he asks, his voice not even a whisper. I imagine the look on his face right now; shock, fear, confused….

"I don't know if it's yours," I say, my voice breaking.

"Of course it's mine," He says, and I imagine him waving it off with his hand. "Who else's would it be?"

I roll my eyes. He could be slow sometimes. "Steve's?"

"Right," he says, his voice sarcastic. I furrow my eyebrows, not understanding this man on the other side of the phone.

"He did it that night, the night that you left," I inform him.

He still doesn't seem phased by that. "Come on, you can't seriously think that it would be his and not mine do you?"

I sigh and say, "I don't know Ryan, it's just as possible…"

"It's mine," He says firmly.

"It might not be," I point out gently once again.

He sighs and says, "It is mine. I don't care what anyone else says, it is my baby. Our baby." Was it just me, or did his voice sound slightly…happy? "Have you told the Cohens?" he asked, moving on before I could argue.

"No, I thought you deserved to know first…" I say.

"You should tell them. I want you to tell them everything, okay? They'll take care of you," he says, his voice concerned. "I don't want to come home this December and see that you've been hurt with me gone."

"Okay," I say, a little happy that I could go with the Cohens. I knew Ryan was right, they would help me.

"Look, I really don't want to, but I have to go," Ryan says with a long groan. "My phone is about to die…."

"Can you call again?" I ask, my voice tiny. I needed him to be in my life, at least his voice. Writing was nowhere near as great as hearing his voice.

"Of course," He says, the smile back in his voice. "I'll call you tomorrow?"

"I'll be waiting," I say with a smile of my own.

"Love you," he murmurs.

"Love you too," I say, and then we both hang up.

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The next day I went over to the Cohens house. I got Summer to come with me for moral support. Sandy opened the door with Kirsten right behind him, both obviously had seen it was me walking out of the car. I smile and they smile back. If only they knew what was going on. "Marissa, come in!" Sandy said, his voice loud and happy. I nod and smile at him, then walk into the house, Summer in tow. "And you brought a friend…" He smiles warmly at Summer. She smiles back uncomfortably.

"Yeah, that's my friends Summer…" I say, and then stop right in the entrance, knowing I needed to get this over with. "I need to tell you guys something, and I need you to not say anything until I'm done." Sandy and Kirsten stare at me for a long time but nod. "I'm pregnant.." I blurt out without a second's hesitation, finding it so much easier to say after talking to Ryan. Their eyes widen, shock evident. I sigh and then say, "And there's a chance that it might not be Ryan's…."

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Some questions that were asked:

Captain Oats: It depends on the chapter. Some chapters take me a couple of hours to write, some take me a little less time. It depends on the content and how long it is, plus if I'm not inspired it'll take me a whole lot longer.

Sailaway: haha, my dad gave me his old laptop. No fruit baskets for him though, we don't like him much. About the elevator sex…my grandpa was the elevator operator back when they had those. They didn't have a camera in that elevator yet. He stopped the elevator so that they would be able to…finish…what they were doing. Odd conversation to have with your grandma, but it wasn't awkward at all. Real life Marissa doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut.