A/N: Hey guys! I just want to let you know that if you have any fics that need beta reading, I am now accepting requests! Enjoy the story!


Alec whistled slightly as he unlocked the door to Magnus's apartment. He turned the silver key to the left and pushed the door open.

He started scanning the room for the familiar black locks that were so often gelled into spikes.

After a quick scan that, to Alec's dismay, revealed nothing to signal that his love was here, Alec stated calling out for Magnus.

"Mags! Where are you? I'm back!"

Alec kept his calling up for a minute, but when met with no response, he decided to venture into the kitchen. It was there where he caught a glimpse of the clock that read 3:45 p.m.

Magnus wasnt due back for another hour. Alec had forgotten he had met with a customer who was facing a demon issue. A greater demon, no less.

Alex was scared to death about the possible outcomes this job had in store for his warlock. He had begged Magnus to let him tag along but he was always met with the same answer.

"You know, not every Downworlder fancies Shandowhunters, darling."

He rolled his eyes when Magnus had said it then, but now he was worried about how the Magnus vs Greater Demon match would play out.

He wrung his hands ,made clammy by his worrisome thoughts, together. He could think of nothing to do to sufficiently deflect his attention off of Magnus's meeting, so he settled for the TV in Magnus's bedroom.

He would never admit it, but Magnus had definitely warmed Alec up to Project Runway b

The hour passed smoothly. Alec's thoughts, though never completely derailed, strayed from the previous path they had taken.

Alec visibly relaxed and sorted a beaming smile when he heard the door open and close, although he was upset to hear the door close with an undignified slam.

He frowned at the noise. Magnus always slammed the door when he was angry at his client, or really anything for that matter.

Alec immediately jumped up from the bed, ready to calm down the clearly upset Warlock like he had done for the past couple months.

When he entered the living room, greeted by a tense looking Magnus whose back was turned to him, he placed his hand upon the man's tense shoulder.

His back tensed further, the exact opposite of the usually reaction of relaxation to Alec's touch.

"Mags? Are you Okay?" he asked in a gentle whisper.

Magnus spun in a lightening fast motion, causing Alec to stumble back a few steps.

Alec found himself staring into the icy depth of Magnus's yellow-green eyes that were holding a harsh glare direct toward... him?

No that can't be right?

Alec carefully extended his fingers to Magnus's face, his goal to touch the man's smooth caramel skin.

Half way to its destination, the hand was smacked rather harshly, causing Alec to gasp lightly and retract his hand quickly.

Magnus's lips turned to a scowl and the emotion in his eyes melted into... disgust?

Magnus was disgusted with him?

"Ma-Magnus?" Alec stuttered out, rewarded with Magnus's snippy laughter.

Alec felt his body curl in on itself, retracting in response to his love's blatant act of humiliating him.

Magnus decided now would be the optimal time to speak up.

"You'll never do it will you?" he asked- well sneered really.

Alec recoiled further into himself.

"Do what?" he ask, scared of the answer.

Magnus snorted aloud.

"Come out, tell people about us, tell people about me." Magnus said with a shake of his head.

"We-Well I-I..." he stuttered around his words uncomfortably.

Magnus scowled once more at the slightly shorter man in front of him.

"Y-y-you'll what, Alexander?" he asked, clearly fake stuttering to make fun of Alec.

Alec's face flushed red with humiliation, confusion, and a twinge of anger, but Magnus did not stop there.

"I know what you'll do. You'll put it off and you'll say you're not ready, but the truth is you're scared. Youre too scared of mommy and daddy to tell them that hey, they're oldest son is gay. You'll hide behind you're stupid black shadow hunter gear and your ripped jeans and you're baggy sweaters for the rest of your life. And may I add that none of those things make you look even slightly appealing. You'll keep shoving me to the side and you'll keep ignoring me in front of your parents." Magnus let out a harsh laugh "I'm Magnus Bane who could have anyone he wanted in a matter of seconds and yet, here I am waiting on a closeted Shadowhunter, Shadowhunter, who blushes an ugly shade of red when anyone makes even the slightest innuendo and has pasty white skin and matted hair that looks like a dog with mange's fur."

Alec felt his eyes fill with unshed tears. He was choking on his breath now trying to hold in what he was filling.

"Please, Magnus, please stop." he whispered, begging, voice cracking embarrassingly.

Magnus scoffed at the man.

"You're crying now, really? How pathetic. That's all you are, Alec. Pathetic. Pathetic and hideous. You know, in hindsight, I'm glad you're too scared to tell your parents about us because the less people who know I dated you, a Lightwood no less, the better." he spat the name out like a cuss word.

Alec sniffled, still casting his eyes to the floor.

"Do you really think I'm hideous and pathetic, Magnus?" he needed to know this before he was thrown away by the only person he ever truly loved more than his siblings.

Magnus looked at the boy ahead of him with no remorse. "Yes, I do. Hideous, pathetic, repulsive, and everything else in between. Now put the key on the table and get out."

Alec felt the tears drop from his eyes and a sob escape his lips, but nonetheless, he still nodded.

"O-okay." he said, fishing for the key in his pocket.

When Magnus saw the tears fall and the sob leave Alec's mouth, it was like something in him snapped.

He was completely clueless as to why Alec was crying or why he was shielding his face from him.

Magnus raised his hand to try and comfort the sobbing boy.

Alec flinched at the raised hand, believing a blow to the face was next in line for him on the list of pain Magnus will inflict upon him in a single 30 minute period.

Magnus caught the flinch, and felt his own eyes water. Alec... Alec thought he would hurt him?

"Al-Alec?" Magnus said in a very out of character timid voice.

Alec didn't make a move to lift his downcast eyes dripping with tears as he shuffled toward the kitchen table and sat the key down on the wood.

Magnus may hate him but Alec still loved him. He didn't have a reason why he still felt that way even after he had all of this thrown at him.

Still looking at the floor, Alec raised his hand to wipe the tears from his dripping eyelashes.

"I'll, uh, I'll go now." Alec felt that the last goodbye warranted a look upon the warlock's face. Alec needed to take a few seconds to memorize every detail.

He looked up at Magnus through his eyelashes and Magnus looked... guilty, regretful? No, definitely not.

He took a second to prepare a little speech in his head. This had to be good if this was the last time he was to see Magnus.

He walked to the door, trying in vain to stop the water flowing from his eyes, and opened the door to the loft.

"Magnus, I-I'm sorry. I, um, I didn't know you felt that way. I'm sorry I made you go through that. So, I'll ,uh, leave now and I w-won't come back. Goodbye, Mags." his voice unceremoniously cracked several times within the course of that sentence.

Magnus was near panicked at the movements and words that Alec was authoring. Why was he leaving? Why was he crying? What did he mean 'I didn't know you felt that way'? What is happening? Watching Alec's movements he quickly pieced together what was happening. Alec was leaving and never coming back.

"Alec, Alexander, please don't do this." Magnus's voice was almost sobs as he fought to keep in the tears.

Alec shook his head. Magnus doesn't get to sound like the victim. He should be pissed beyond measure but he couldn't find it in himself to overcome the sadness that was drowning him.

He was thankful that he never worked up the courage to tell Magnus he loved him. He did love him. By the Angel, he loved him so much and he thought the feeling might be reciprocated. He was actually happy that his confession had the chance to get shot down. He didn't think he could deal with that type of rejection.

Magnus felt his eyes prick with tears. He can't lose Alec. He loved him. In fact, he hasn't loved anyone as much as he loves Alec in all of his 400 years.

Magnus tried again to get Alex to stay. He knew his time was limited and he had to say something to make Alec stay.

"Alexander, don't leave...I-I love you."

Alec felt what was left of his heart shatter. He's lying now. He feels pity for Alec. Alec felt his anger raise up at that. He didn't want Magnus's pity but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want his love.

Alec whipped around to face the caramel skinned man.

"You don't get to say that." he spat at Magnus, who in turn gave a flinch.

"You don't get to say all that crap to me and then turn around and say you love me, which might I add, it is painfully obvious that you in fact do not." Alec sighed a heartbroken sigh. He wished Magnus meant that he loved him but that didn't change anything he had said just moments before.

"You don't get to. You don't." Alec was back to his broken, cracked voice.

Magnus reached a hand up to grab Alec, make him stay, make him listen, hold on and never let go.

Alec was having none of that. He casted his eyes upon Magnus, tears unshed.

Magnus was taken aback by the utterly heartbroken look in the boy's blue eyes. What happened to Alec?

"Magnus, look, I'm sorry you've been feeling that way and I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier. You won't have to see me again, I promise."

Magnus shook his head fervently. He didn't want to never see Alec again. Frankly, he wanted to see him everyday.

A single tear dribble down Alec's cheek. "I promise." he whispered, sounding like he was talking more to himself than Magnus.

With that he left the loft, shutting the door on Magnus and leaving his heart with him. He ran. He ran all the way to the Institute not stopping for anyone.

He threw the door open with a clang and shot up the stairs, not bothering with the elevator. He knew if he stopped a break down would not be far behind.

He flung the door to his room open and flopped himself on the bed.

He clutched the pillow tight, wishing it was Magnus. Wishing Magnus was here and wishing Magnus still loved him.


Magnus stared at the door after the boy had left.

He had no idea what had hurt Alec and made him leave, but he was going to find out.

He sat on the couch staring unseeingly at the blank TV screen.

He saw the water drop on his hands before he really felt himself crying.

Soon the sobs could not longer be contained and Magnus was clutching at his chest, trying in vain to reach the pain within.

The sobs were harsh and ridged, cutting his throat with each passing noise. How was going to get Alec back?