A/N: To avoid confusion in the storyline of this fic, no Akatsuki members are dead and Sasuke is not in pursuit of Itachi.

June 9th

Today is Itachi's 30th birthday. I've already told him happy birthday and given him his gifts. I even baked him a small birthday cake. He doesn't eat much these days because of his condition. But I don't want this to be depressing so let's move on from that.

I've been writing in this little book for so long now. For him. He wants me to make it like a memoir of our lives together that contains my thoughts and feelings as well as things that have happened. It's just in case we forget so that he can remember it when he can finally see again and read all of this. I have obliged. Today is also our anniversary so I'll add a little extra to my entry today.

Back when he and I were still going on missions regularly I would get to see the power of the Sharingan eye to an extent that never failed to both astound and frighten me although I would never say that outloud. Before we became partners I had heard a lot about those eyes but I hadn't seen them in action really. They are truly amazing but I am very glad that I do not carry the burden of possessing them. They come with a price of course.

Itachi would often use them to make our missions go by as swiftly as possible. I eventually started to see the toll it was taking on him.

"Don't overuse those eyes of yours, Itachi. Don't wanna go blind do you?" I would say jokingly with just a touch of actual concern in my voice.

He would always give me a response like "Right," "Hn," or "Whatever. Let's go."

I knew he had really messed up when he actually tripped and fell one day. We were walking through a dense forest because he didn't want to go through the trees branches above us. I didn't think anything of it because my legs were quite tired and I don't know if I could have handled propelling myself from tree to tree. I assumed this was the case for him as well. We were walking side by side and suddenly I saw him faceplant out of the corner of my eye. It stunned me a little and before I had even looked over at him he had already gotten back up and gotten himself together. I raised my eyebrows and stared at him.

He didn't even look at me and kept walking. "What?"

"Did you... fall?"

"No."

"Yes you did I'm pretty sure I sa-"

"You saw nothing." he snapped at me.

I took this as a sign to just drop it. There were no more incidents for a while. The next one happened a couple of years later after we had formed a romantic relationship and were sharing a room. He came into the bedroom that night after taking a shower and was about to sit down next to me on the bed but he completely missed the bed. I watched him turn around and then sit down right down next to the bed as if he hadn't seen it. He ended up falling onto his butt on the floor with a quiet grunt. I scooped him up and held him on my lap, he refused to look me in the eye. "Itachi, what's going on with you?"

No response.

"You've been a little off lately. If something is wrong with you then you know you can tell me," I said quietly. He still didn't say anything. I had formed a theory and I decided to bring it up.

"Is it your eyes? I notice you haven't been using them very much lately."

He tensed up at this and squirmed off of my lap to crawl into bed.

"Itachi..."

"Goodnight, Kisame," he mumbled as he pulled the blanket up over his shoulders and turned away from me.

This behavior continued for several months. Something would happen involving him falling or bumping into something that should have been easily avoidable. Especially for him. To make things worse, I caught him taking some kind of medication. I came into the bedroom one day and he was putting some pills into his mouth. When he heard the door close he quickly tried to hide the bottle and swallowed them with some water. It turns out that he was suffering from an illness that affected his respiratory system. He had been secretly taking the medicine for years to sustain his health.

I was hurt that he had kept it from me. So now he was not only going blind but he was very very ill. I now have to be his eyes as well as his makeshift nurse. He was no longer fit to go on any sort of mission so he was of no use to the Akatsuki. He could have been killed but I pleaded with our Leader to let me move out of the hideout to care for Itachi and in exchange I would perform missions for a lower amount of money. He agreed. I found an abandoned house not too far away and I fixed it up for us. We've lived here for almost ten years and he is now completely blind.

Itachi's respiratory condition has gotten so much worse since we moved away from the Akatsuki hideout. He's bedridden and rarely wants to leave the bedroom. I carry him to the bathroom and I bathe him every night. I even feed him. It's extremely heart breaking to see him this way but at least he's alive. That's so selfish of me but I can't help it. He's everything to me. He's my world. He's too young.

When he looks into my eyes and I look back into his cloudy white ones it's like he can really see me. But I know he can't. He reaches up and touches my cheek and that automatically let's him know approximately where my eyes are. He runs his fingers over all of my facial features as if he's seeing me with his hands. He speaks very softly since he usually doesn't have much strength.

"My big, strong guardian warrior. How can I ever repay you for taking such good care of me?" he'll say sometimes. I'll smile slightly and kiss his cheek before replying "With all the love you can possibly give me." After that he would smile and close his eyes while nodding slowly. Nearly everything exhausts him. Even speaking just a few words is enough to make him winded.

I've had few scares where I though I had lost him because he would stop breathing but I would perform mouth-to-mouth CPR and he would eventually start breathing again. I hadn't cried since I was a child but when I walked into the bedroom one evening with his dinner and saw him lying in bed with his eyes closed and his chest unmoving I dropped the food and nearly panicked as I tried to make him start breathing. Once I had gotten him taken care of I buried my face in his neck and cried so hard. I think I may have frightened him a little since he had never experienced me being like that. I pulled him into my arms and held him for a while and he gently nuzzled his face against my chest.

I think the worst part of all of this is waiting for the day when he stops breathing and never starts back again. It's inevitable. As for now, I'll just cherish him as much as I can.

For when you're able to read this, Itachi, I love you very much, my dear. I always will. You're my heart. You're my soulmate. Without you I truly am incomplete. I am no longer self sufficient. I depend on your existence to remain sane. I will not give up on finding the eyes that you told me about. I'll find them and we'll get Sasori to do the operation then you'll be able to read this entire book. I promise, I'll find them.


June 12th

He's gone. My Itachi has left me. He passed away the day after his birthday. He was oddly energetic on his birthday and the next day he was nearly unresponsive. It took me a long time to wake him up and when I finally did he looked up at me and reached for my hand. I sat down on the bed next to him and held his hand in both of mine while looking down at him. He squeezed my hand gently and whispered a nearly inaudible "I love you" before his eyes closed again and not long afterwards he stopped breathing and his grip loosened. He looked different this time. It wasn't like the other times when he would stop breathing. Something told me that this time he was gone for good. I wouldn't be able to breath life into him again. His time was up. I laid my head on his chest to listen for a heartbeat but it never came.

I gently kissed his hand with trembling lips and told him that I loved him too. I tried to hold back my tears but seeing the man I love laying lifeless in front of me was just too much to handle. I felt like my heart was being squeezed and I grabbed at my chest as I allowed myself to be swallowed up by grief. The only person in the world I had ever truly grown to care for had just been taken from me. I suppose this is my punishment for the life I chose to live as a criminal. Perhaps it's just fate. Or maybe it's both. I'll never know.

I'm so sorry that things have turned out this way, my love. I am sorry that I failed you. I didn't get your eyes quickly enough. Perhaps now you'll be able to read every single page of this little book from where ever it is that your soul resides. I know it's somewhere nice because you were such an amazing man. You went through so much in your short life. Always doing things to try and help your village even if it involved a task that many people condemned you for. I'm happy that you had a cause to be dedicated to instead of becoming a bitter person like I was before you helped me change. You melted barrier of ice that surrounded my heart. Thank you for the years of happiness and love that you provided to me. I will continue writing in this book everyday for you. I know you would've liked that.

I'll always love you. Rest peacefully, Itachi.