Just A Kiss Contest
Story Title: And This is the Wonder
Penname: Naranwien
Summary: Wherein Jacob Black wants to touch, is driven a little crazy in his restrained eagerness to do so, but learns from Bella Swan that it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.
Word Count: 9521
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
And This is the Wonder
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life, which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide). And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart). / E. E. Cummings
o*~oiOio~*o
"Ow!" I shot Quil an incredulous look. "What the hell?"
"Stop that."
I frowned. "Stop what?"
He and Embry both looked down, so I looked down, too. Oh. I was bouncing my knee again. Well, I couldn't exactly help it.
Quil smacked me again when my knee resumed its restless twitching. "Jeez, Black. Stressed out or what?"
I shrugged while trying to will my leg to stay still. "Nah. It's been doing that a lot lately. I think it's to do with school starting up again."
"Since when did school bug you?"
Good point. It didn't. Who knew, then? I looked at them and folded my arms. "Does it matter? Just ignore it. I do."
They made some unified grunting noise and turned their attention back to the TV. It was becoming a part of our new routine. We communicated with noises and non-committal gestures now. So, what'd you get up to last night? A mutter and a shrug. How's things between you and Amanda? A snort. Hey, can you pass me a smaller socket? A groan and a sigh. Wanna take the bike for a spin? An affirmative grunt.
We were hormonal. That had to be the only explanation. What else could it be? All three of us would eat our parents out of their houses before Christmas. And if this growing didn't stop, I'd be spending my senior year sprawled on the floor, because I wouldn't be able to fit my legs beneath the tiny desk.
Seriously. It was getting beyond ridiculous. Dad forgot to tell me we Quileutes had Schwartzenegger genes – that jumped generations, anyway. Hormones. That's what it was. Emo-inducing hormones that were turning us into giants. We were all taller than our dads – I passed that notch months ago, but still . . .
(I didn't buy into the legends, no matter what Sam Uley said. People didn't go "poof" and turn into wolves. They didn't. And even so, if there were any truth to it, what could a wolf do against a supposed stony vampire? Did we get a starter kit? Would it come with jack hammers and heavy-duty grenades? And what about the fact that these Cold Ones went to high school and walked around in broad daylight? No. I wasn't buying it.)
So now it was the last Saturday before school started. Back to normal again. Almost. Summer might be coming to an end, and I might not have so much spare time anymore between school work and my job. But the biggest and saddest part about it (yeah, I was becoming a sap and a drama queen) was that after this weekend, Bella would be up to the rez less and less.
Bella. As in, Bella Swan.
The girl who fed me worms, and things I didn't even want to remember, when we were both tiny kids with boogers up our noses. The very same girl who got bossed around by my runaway sisters (they ditched me and my dad; they couldn't stand watching him let himself go after Mom died, so they stuck around until I was old enough to look after myself).
The one and the same girl who got fed up with the fishing trips my dad and her dad, Chief Swan, made her tag along on. (They – my dad and Charlie – had a fallout for a while there, due to my dad's superstitions. But thanks to Sue's intervention, Chief Swan and Harry got to watch my dad throw a tantrum like a little girl at the hospital, thinking he'd get out of treatment if he refused to sign the forms. The old man was as proud and stubborn as they come.)
So this girl stopped coming to Forks for the summer, just as I got old enough to tell the real difference between girls and boys. But luckily she came back, earlier this year, to live with her dad – something about her mom wanting to travel with the boyfriend.
First Beach. That's where I saw her again, for the first time since she'd left. Later, after running back home through the rain, getting soaked to the bone, and bringing the entire Pacific into the kitchen; after slipping on my naked ass in the bathroom because our washing machine bought it after five revivals, and after spending all my savings on a new one, I bragged to Quil and Embry how she'd taken a walk with me.
They still didn't believe me when she showed up some days later with her dad. But then she offered to cook a diabetic friendly dinner for my dad, and I accidentally got an oil-smudge on her face, trying to be smooth. (I honestly didn't mean to. She was reading while the chicken marinated, and I saw an opening to get an excuse to touch her face, because she has a beautiful face, and I wanted to touch. I simply forgot I'd had my hands in the Rabbit's engine, minutes before.)
Bella got me back for it, though. Thanks to my previously mentioned bossy runaway sisters, she had an old piece of (pink) construction paper with girly scribbles on it, saying I was her tag along pain in the butt "sister." (Yeah. My sisters gave me away. But I'm not complaining.) Of course, it didn't stop there, because Bella was just like that; she said stuff without thinking and that was one of the many things I loved about her.
After I snorted soda through my nose, not believing she'd just asked me to prom, she told me I was going to walk into Forks High's Gym with pigtails and ribbons in my hair. Keeping some part of my dignity intact, I told her to show me before I made a decision, and nearly died when she touched my ears while braiding my hair.
So I've got sensitive ears. I can't help it. I was born that way.
We did go to prom, and I did have a ribbon in my hair, but no pigtails, and I totally danced with her, and even if I sucked at it, she loved it. What more, later on, in her dad's living room, she let me dance with her again, but without the music. That didn't matter though.
And that's the day she told me I could keep her, on the condition she got to keep me, too. Jacob Black's not a total idiot, so of course he approved of that compromise.
Yeah. Okay. I might have worried there for a moment that my heart was going to pound its way right through my ribcage, but in my defense: I loved this girl, and it ran deep. Bone-deep.
"Black!" Quil and Embry snapped in unison while I caught the swat of a pillow in my face.
"What?"
Quil rolled his eyes, Embry just laughed.
"What?" I repeated and yanked the pillow from Quil before he decided to assault me again. "Knock it off, already."
"Go for a run," Embry suggested, taking pity on my restless syndrome.
I let out a frustrated sigh and got off the sofa. "That means I've gotta take a shower again. Besides-" I picked up another couple of pillows off the floor on my way to the kitchen, and then glanced at them in question. "Hey, what's up with the pillows?"
Quil busted out a laugh. "I told you." He and Embry exchanged a look.
"You were kind of out of it," Embry offered as clarification, all apologetic. "They bounced off you, and we were wondering if you'd fallen asleep with your eyes open."
Huh. "Okay...?"
Quil groaned. "Dammit, Black, you need to get your head checked."
"Right..." Geez. Had I been so caught up in my thoughts, I didn't even realize what was going on around me? Well, Bella did that to me. Or, more accurately, her—well, her choice of clothes?
I was just a guy. Whatever this weird hormonal, or chemical, imbalance in my body was messing with lately made me want... stuff.
It all began with Snoopy. Well, okay. So it began with me and Bella sitting on the sofa, and thanks to the advantage of being taller, I caught a clear view down Bella's shirt. I didn't mean to, but suddenly they were just... there. Covered by Snoopy. It was all his fault, damn it.
Boobs. That's right. Jacob Black had discovered—no wait. I didn't discover them, and it's not like I hadn't seen them before. Boobs, I mean. Not Bella's-
"I'm going for that run," I muttered under my breath and made a beeline for the exit.
"Have fun!"
"Watch out for the big, bad wolf!"
"I am the bad wolf!" I shouted back over my shoulder before the door slammed shut behind me. According to Sam Uley, I would be. At some point. "Moron." Screw that.
I slowed on my way to the garage and heaved a sigh. Again. It was getting to me again and just like that I realized something I hated—truly hated: lack of control.
"Screw you, Snoopy. Black is running this sh..." I stopped dead in my tracks, stuttering where I stood in the mouth of the garage-turned-shed. "...sh—uh, hey, Bells."
She jumped up from the crate and shoved her hands into her pockets so fast I couldn't keep up. Confused, and scrambling a little to figure out how she got here – let alone into my garage – without me hearing her truck, I scanned my surroundings. (The thing – her truck – was a beast, and the engine roared like one, too, no matter how good I was at tuning it.)
"Hi," she said, a little breathless.
"Uh-" Again I looked around. "What are you doing here? I mean, what are you doing in the garage? Why didn't you come inside?" Most of my efforts went toward not staring at her legs, which were totally not covered. At all. She was wearing those tiny shorts again. And then there was that top. What had she called it again? I forgot. Oh well, I was staring again, so it didn't really matter-
"Jake?"
"Huh—yeah, what?"
She snorted a laugh and started toward me. "You're being a little strange," she said, and stopped to peer up at me, through the lashes, just like she always did. Did she know what she was doing to me? Don't look down. Don't look don't look don't look. Whew. Score!
I grinned, proud I hadn't looked, and wrapped my arms around her instead. We both exhaled at the same time and I rested my forehead against hers. "Missed you," I whispered.
"Missed you, too," she whispered back.
I knew she wanted to kiss me, and I also knew that she knew I'd go a little crazy if she made me wait. Not that I minded. Those Fireflies in my stomach, and their buzzing, could cause some amazing things if I held my ground. So that's what I did. Waited for her to give me a sign.
Of course, talking was allowed in the meantime. "So how come you managed to sneak in here without my knowing?" I asked, running my nose up and down the bridge of hers.
Her brows pulled down. "You seriously didn't hear? I even revved the engine when you didn't come outside right away." She sounded like I'd committed some heinous crime, which made me chuckle a little.
"Nope."
She moved her hands from around my waist and let them creep up my chest instead and, of course, since I knew what she was about to do, I almost stopped breathing. "I've been here for twenty minutes probably," she informed me a bit sadly. A dramatic sigh, and then she curled her fingers around the fabric of my shirt. "Jake?"
I swallowed. "Yes, honey?" Please. I'm dying here.
"Kiss me?" She stretched up as she said it, and I met her half way. My hands were on her face like magnets, and her lips gave way to mine as I pressed them firmly to hers.
Bye-bye, Fireflies.
I had an even better reasoning behind blaming the insane buzz in my stomach on Fireflies. When Bella's mouth moved under mine, especially when she was close like this, they kind of popped and the fire leaked into my blood. It explained the heat that moved through me.
And then there was what I found past her lips, which I was a bit more eager to get to now. More than normally. Of course, Bella knew me pretty well, so she let my bottom lip sink in a little, enough for me to feel that wet warmth of her mouth, before she drove me crazy with the tip of her tongue.
I want...
I met her tongue with mine, lightly at first, searchingly and with careful touches. Before long, those turned more into strokes than just movements, and I went deeper, further, until I fully swept along her tongue and knew I had to stop.
In case anyone was under the misconception that guys had it easy, well, they needed to be corrected. I wanted to be able to kiss my girl without anatomy ruining it for me, but that wasn't possible—oh, yeah. Sometimes – not all the time, thankfully – it got very uncomfortable. A little bit painful, too.
More so lately. Please, don't do that. As if I could will it away. Not likely.
Bella sucked in a shuddering breath when we managed to separate. That, too, was becoming more and more challenging. "Wow, we're getting pretty good at that," she marveled in a breathy voice.
I still had my eyes closed. This required focus and sheer willpower. If I failed, it wouldn't be the first time I all but crushed her mouth, but I had this now. Naturally, it was a close call. "Yeah," I finally agreed, and my voice cracked in a humiliating way.
When I opened my eyes, hers met mine. In spite of the contradiction – I couldn't explain or make any other comparison – a soft sensation burst in my chest. I was mush. Total mush. I just loved her. So freaking much. I love you. "I- I, uh..." I cleared my throat of the embarrassing scratchiness, and redirected. "I need a drink, want a drink?"
"Sure." She grabbed my hand and pulled me along. "How's Billy?" she asked while we went for the house.
"Grumpy. He's missing a game tonight because of the bonfire, so he went to the Clearwaters to gossip with Harry."
A snort. "I'd offer to tell Charlie to record it, but apparently-" She paused next to her truck (how had I not heard it?) to open the door and pull her backpack out, and then turned to me with an amused expression. "Apparently, according to Charlie, watching a game once it's in actuality played is pointless." She rolled her eyes at this.
"It's a guy thing," I offered sympathetically.
"Obviously," she conceded. We continued up the ramp. "Probably it's to do with the belief that you watching the match while it's on somehow, I don't know, boosts their chances of winning?"
I turned it over in my head. "You might be onto something."
Bella came to a halt and glanced back at me in surprise, both her brows lifted. "Really?" I gave a shrug, but nodded. "Huh. What do you know?" She grinned widely.
Embry and Quil were smirking at me when Bella and I walked into the tiny living room. They exchanged a look while Embry elbowed Quil. "Told him he should go for a run, didn't I?"
Huh? Ah. "Geez—you knew?" They shrugged, and there went the noise and gesture communication. I frowned. "You could've said something."
"Now, where would be the fun in that?" Quil laughed at me.
"They just wanted to give me a head start," Bella joked. "I mean, I was just about to figure out how to dismantle the exhaust when you walked in." She poked my side until I squirmed away from her. Her smile was big and playful. "So ticklish."
"Careful, Bells," I told her with heavy warning. "I'm way stronger than you are."
"Uh-huh. You don't scare me, Jake," she taunted and quirked a brow.
I lifted my shoulders casually and shoved my hands into my pockets. Quil and Embry had expectant (and hopeful – I needed to smack them) looks on their faces as I moved toward the sofa. "Well, that's good," I offered, but rolled my eyes at my friends who took way too much pleasure in watching me and Bella mess around. "Don't you girls have anything better to do?"
Quil stretched and clasped his hands behind his head. "Nah. I'm pretty comfortable-"
Embry elbowed him hard.
"What'd I do?"
"Let's go," Embry said, and got off the sofa. I smacked his head. "Hey! Ow? Jeez. Why do you always have to hit me, man?"
"'Cause it's you." I laughed when he muttered something unintelligible to himself.
Quil stood and looked at Bella. "When they run off together, you know where to find me." He winked at her. Bella laughed when Quil danced away as he passed me, managing to avoid a hit that would've hurt more than the one I gave Embry.
"Crying in your room?" I smirked.
Half way out the door, he turned and wagged his brows. "I'm sure I won't be for long." Bella clasped a hand to her mouth as I went after him. She was laughing, and so was Quil. "Come get it, Black!" he shouted from the bottom of the ramp.
"You're pushing it," I warned in a low voice.
A grin stretched across his face. "Always." Hands sneaked around my waist, and I wrapped an arm around Bella to pull her closer. Quil faked a wince and clutched his heart, but then shook his head before turning. "The offer's there, baby. Anytime."
"You're so fickle, Quil!" she laughingly shouted after him as he and Embry walked down the driveway. Quil just raised a hand in a backward wave without looking. Embry said something and guffawed when Quil shoved him.
I scoffed. "I get why Jared's so pissed that Quil's dating his sister."
"Oh, yes," Bella agreed. "I wouldn't want him near my sister, if I had one."
I turned to look at her and, a bit worriedly, wondered, "And what about you?" With a serious expression, she appeared to think it over. "Ouch. Okay, yeah, I get it. That's nice."
"I'm kidding," she told me, her eyes soft, and then she blushed. "I, um, just want to be near you, Jake."
Aw, man. My heart was literally hurting. Good hurting. I leaned her against the doorframe and, a little playfully, said, "Yeah? That needs some kind of seal, I think. You know, to make it more-" Hello. Bella had pulled me down to press her mouth to mine.
That was unexpected. So far I had been the one making the moves. Mostly. But something was different, changing. Like with the clothes—just little things.
We both knew to keep our tongues to ourselves, unless we wanted to cut it short, but I kind of liked it. The whole forbidden territory sort of thing. That's not to say I didn't cheat, like now, and carefully drew her lip between mine so I could run the tip of my tongue along it. I knew she liked it when I did that.
She had her hands in my hair, and like always, she loosened the tie to have free reign. I loved her touch. Not much could compare to the sensations that shivered up my spine when she combed through, or gently tugged the strands to get closer.
Another thing that happened lately was that my hands seemed to have a will of their own, and thanks to earlier mentioned chemical imbalance (or whatever), I got a little greedy. I still didn't go under the shirt, no way, that would be begging for trouble (and very likely, I'd earn myself a slap; at least, that's what Rachel told me—man, was that an awkward conversation...).
I didn't expect to cross any boundaries, though. I kept to her back, or waist, or gently tracing her ribcage—experimenting, and testing, that was all. Until, just like that, I crossed the line, ran my hands up her sides, and unexpectedly felt my thumbs brush against something round and so soft.
Bella whimpered. The sound all but electrocuted me, jolted my heart and my stomach.
Oh, wow. I couldn't even think, but my mouth worked. And my hands. And... Yep. Time to back off—no. Why would I do that?
This was awesome.
I ignored my own unwanted reaction, and decided to push my luck and trace those soft curves again. I had to hear it one more time; I just had to. And she hadn't stopped me yet, so that had to mean everything was cool.
This time, Bella's whimper caught on its way out when I moved my hands to cover more ground. When her tongue slipped past my lips, on an urgent search, she caught me completely off guard, and I just responded instinctively. Somehow I had moved closer; I knew, since I could feel all of her with all of me. I was also dipping deeper into her mouth with firmer strokes.
When she pressed herself against me, not only did I know yet another line just got blurred, I also knew I'd have to explain myself somehow, but that fell away pretty fast. My brain decided to die when she found the very thing (yeah: thing) I'd been hoping to hide.
Someone made a noise, and it didn't sound like Bella. Oh, that would be me.
Time to back off. Come on, Jake. You can do it. We were both pretty breathless when I managed to extract myself.
She stared at me, eyes wide, and her lips looked assaulted and were parted and my brain just wouldn't... "Bells," I tried. My voice was all weird and rough. I cleared my throat. "I- we should probably..."
Bella nodded vigorously. "Yeah," she breathed. "Uh-huh."
To prevent a relapse, I picked up her bag and walked (awkwardly) inside. Geez, life was unfair—a guy's life, anyway. I started down the narrow hallway. "I'll put your bag in my room, okay? I'm just gonna go- I'll only be a minute!"
Silence. And then, "Okay!"
I muttered to myself and cracked open the door to my room to throw Bella's bag on my bed; hopefully there was nothing fragile in there. Oops.
With the door locked, safe at last in the bathroom, I leaned back. "Jeez, Jake, get it together." We really did just cross a line, didn't we? Like—the line. Man... Sweet. But just because we had, it was one of those times, when it wasn't just uncomfortable. It kind of was a little beyond the normal painful.
Right. Kill or cure? I glanced at the shower and cringed like a girl. Taking care of it would be less obvious (and fast), a cold shower would sound suspicious. But I just didn't feel right about hiding away in the bathroom like a pervert while my girl was right out there.
Yeah. It wasn't so easy. But... I was already hiding.
A quick check—whoa.
The fast solution would be super fast, so I opted for that . . .
o*~oiOio~*o
For being the Olympic Peninsula, summer had been pretty warm this year. With current company in mind, I could only count my blessings.
Bella was born in Forks, but her mom took off with her when she was only a baby so, really, she grew up (mostly) in Phoenix. The sun would play peek-a-boo here on the best of days, but down there they had just about constant sunshine. Burning kind of heat. So, naturally, they (the girls anyway) wore tiny, barely-covering kinds of outfits.
Now Bella had a barely-covering kind of outfit on.
When I said it was Snoopy's fault, I meant that. And I had a reason for trying not to stare at... them.
Ever since the day Bella caught me staring down over her shoulder while we were cooking (oh yeah, I cut my hand, too, because I got distracted), she started peeling the flannel off. I honestly had nothing against the flannel; it was so Bella, and it was cute. But off it came.
She did ask me that day, when she caught me ogling, if I wanted to touch them, because I was a moron and joked that at least I was only looking, right? And not groping her. Of course, I'm an honest guy (for the most part; I wouldn't admit to the things I do while thinking about her at night—okay, never mind), so I admitted to wanting to touch. (I had been caught staring; denying it would have been a dumb thing to do. Bella wasn't stupid.)
Well, she sort of went, "I guess we'll see how that works out for you, won't we?" or something. And now—well, now it was as though she was deliberately testing me. What else could it be? Fair enough, the outfit she wore today was, sort of, knocking all the other ones out of the ballpark a bit, and I couldn't stop looking.
The worst torture: I had never wanted to touch her so badly. I mean, not only those, but her skin was just—oh, man. I was so done for.
Someone slapped my back. "Hey, man, you're all weird tonight."
"Huh? Wha—oh, yeah... Wait, what? Nah."
Embry sat down on one of the logs next to me. He chuckled. "What? Yeah? No—yeah, Jake. Trust me, you're starting to scare me."
I snorted, but then I shrugged. "Yeah, okay, so maybe I'm acting a little strange lately, but—come on." I gestured toward where Bella sat with Jared's sister, Amanda, and some other girls I knew from school but couldn't think of their names right now. Embry was cool to talk to about this stuff, but I wouldn't ever discuss it with Quil.
Embry lifted his chin a little, understanding dawning on his face. "Ah."
"You see my problem," I agreed, sounding like a pouty toddler. Grudgingly, I added, "Adolescence should come with a warning label, or at least I should've gotten, like, a Surviving Puberty One-O-One when I hit thirteen. Guess they messed up and gave me Rach and Becca instead."
Embry took one look at me and burst out laughing. "Don't mention that to your sisters." He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Looking at Bella and the other girls, he informed me matter-of-factly, "Girls should come with a warning label."
I shook my head. "Nah. They're pretty harmless. Well, if you disregard the whole-" Again I gestured, but more up and down. "-uh—whatever." I slumped forward, too, copying Embry's posture.
We were pulling a Bella. Like in that one picture from the last fishing trip she went on before she stopped coming back. The one where she sat off to one side on a rock, moping. The only thing missing was a prop (a book, in her case).
And then, out of the blue, there she was. Standing right in front of me. In her bikini—tankini! That was the name of it. Duh...
"Hey, Jake. Are you okay?" She hunched down with her hands on my wrists, for support, and tilted her head to peek up into my face.
"I'll catch up with you later, man." Embry shook his head and walked off.
"Later, Call." I caught my dad looking at me a bit strangely, the way he did so often lately, and then, finally, I looked back to Bella's face. "Hey," I said, and gave her a smile, hoping it would erase that worry line between her brows. To be on the sure side, I reached up and rubbed it with my thumb. "Quit worrying, Bells. You'll have gray hairs by the time you're twenty."
She rolled her eyes at me. "Jacob."
Uh-oh. Jacob. That only came out when she meant business. "What's up?" Bella sighed, smooth and soft, setting my stomach into a buzz, her leg rubbed against my hand as she pulled herself up to sit next to me. I folded my arms, sat up and gave her a light nudge with my arm. "Aw, don't be like that."
Bella shrugged and peered at the water suspiciously. "Do you think it's too cold?"
I chuckled. "By my standards, or yours?"
"Yeah..." Again, she sighed. Louder and more hopelessly this time. In a sudden movement, she jumped up, her eyes bright, and grabbed my wrists. She pulled until my hands unclasped, and hers slipped into mine. "Up," she ordered. "Come on."
I stood, hesitantly, and gave her a puzzled look. "What's happening?" I wondered.
"Can you swim in those," she pointed to my cargo shorts, "or do you have something under...?" She faltered and blushed. "I mean, um, well you know what I mean." I laughed. "Jake," she pleaded.
"I do," I confirmed, holding back on the laughing. "Are we going for a swim?" I sounded like a kid at Christmas at the prospect.
She nodded minutely. "If you're with me, I won't be so cold, 'cause you're—well, you're really warm." The last part came out as a mumble.
"Sure, sure." I could do that. I wouldn't mind keeping her warm. Not at all. Bad boy. I coughed. "Uh, okay..." Why was it suddenly such a weird thing to take my pants off? I had only been doing it for the past decade – at least – without a problem.
"Need help?" she teased. As if it just dawned on her what else it could have meant, her eyes grew large like saucers and then she blushed a bright pink. So not fair. Help me. Please. "Um... I'll check if it's, um, the water, I mean, I'll go—okay, take your time." She turned and walked off, stumbling a few times, but caught herself, as she went for the waterline.
There she went, and I was shamelessly staring at her... Bad—bad Jake. I let out a soundless whistle. "Whew." Jacob Black needed a smack. Several. I settled for pulling my shirt over my head and stepped out of the cargos. Remembering something, I dug into one of the pockets and got out a tie to pull my hair back.
Bella stood with her feet in the swell, but half turned when I came toward her. Some strange expression passed over her face, and I saw her hug herself as she quickly turned back to look at the water. Huh?
I stopped behind her, hesitated, and then gently placed my hands on her shoulders. She shivered. "Cold, Bells?" When she gave a little nod, I trailed down her arms and wrapped mine around hers, hugging her to me. She exhaled, which made me smile. "Better?" I asked, and dipped my nose into her hair.
"Much," she said quietly.
Sensing that something was up, but not sure what it might be, I wondered instead, "Want to give it a try?"
She stirred the water with one foot. "Yes. But, um, you have to promise not to let go. Okay?"
I tightened my arms around her. "I won't." I could do this. Sure, she would get all wet and be so very close, but I had this. Suck it up, Black, and take it like a man. I took a deep breath. "C'mon."
Bella let out a surprised squeak when I bent down and hooked one arm behind her knees and scooped her up. "Jacob Black!"
I laughed. "That's my name." Her arms were around my neck in an instant, and she literally clung to me when I walked out into the water. "Hey, hey—honey?"
She nodded into my throat. "Uh-huh?"
Quietly. "I've got you."
After a few gulps. "Yeah," she breathed. "Okay. Yup." I felt her tense up, and realized I was already in the water up to my waist. Well, that was weird. It wasn't cold at all. A shudder ran through her. "It's r-really c-cold."
"Yeah?" I studied her face skeptically when she pulled back to look at me in an accusatory way. "What?"
"This is so not fair," she half grumbled. "Not only are you all warm, but you can't feel the cold now, either?"
A chuckle vibrated in my throat. "Aw, Bells—but you've got me, right? I'm not letting you go."
"You better not," she threatened, but then she glanced around until, finally, she peeked into the water. "Um, so... if I scream? You'll pick me back up again, right?"
"Yep."
She took in a shuddering breath, and bit down on her lower lip. "Okay. You can let my legs go—wait, wait!" I paused. "Slowly or quickly? Which is best, you think?"
I rolled my eyes. "Bella."
Laughingly, she agreed, "Okay, I'm a wuss." Before she could stall it any longer, I just let her legs go, but I had my other arm around her to make sure she didn't go under completely.
Oh yeah. I felt her shriek. Maybe that was a dick move, but I was soon reassured when she burst into a hysterical giggle-fit.
"Honey?"
"Oh God, it's freaking freezing!" Still she laughed, but I believed her. I had never heard her talk like that before; the water must have made an impact, all right.
"Want me to pick you up again?" I asked, a bit worried she might get too cold and get sick.
Bella shook her head, but pulled herself right up against me with her arms around my neck. "Go further out," she whispered to my ear. I was momentarily immobilized. I could feel... everything. But when I thought my patience couldn't be tested further, she added, "Come on, it's not that bad now. Further?" and then steeled herself by clinging to my neck and wrapping her legs around my waist.
The most mortifying thing happened: I lost my balance and we both went under. At least we were in the water. There was always that.
Coughing and spluttering, Bella broke the surface, while pushing her hair back from her face. She blinked at me in shock. I didn't mean to, I really didn't, but I busted up. "Yeah, laugh. It's fine. I'm okay." She folded her arms.
"Aw, geez—Bells? I'm sorry, I- oh man." While she searched my face, hers suddenly relaxed, and then she was just looking at me. Still chortling, I asked, "What?"
Her eyes moved over me, like she hadn't seen me before, and it made my heart do weird things. "You're really beautiful," she finally said, matter-of-factly.
I felt my brows pull together. That was a new one. With a wary glance at the water, I wanted to know, "How much of that water did you swallow?"
Bella rolled her eyes at me, but came closer. "I'm serious, Jacob." She sure was. Huh. "You really, really are," she reconfirmed and stretched to touch my face.
I swallowed, but reached up and cradled her hand. "If you say so, honey." She nodded, and when I turned to kiss her thumb that brushed my cheek, her breath caught. I was going to repeat the kiss, but noticed all the goosebumps that had broken out all down her arms and shoulders and chest and—duh.
My eyes quickly averted to James Island, just over her shoulder. Apparently, it was really cold . . .
"Jake?"
"Uh-huh?"
"C-can we g-get out of the w-water?" she stammered.
Wake up. "Geez. Sorry, Bells. Of course." I scooped her back up, keeping my eyes on her face as I did so, and then on the bonfire and the crowd on the beach, while I walked her out of the water.
Back on the beach, I handed her a towel from the bag we had brought and helped wrap it around her. I hugged her tightly and rubbed up and down her back.
"That feels really nice, Jake," she mumbled into my skin.
"I shouldn't've dropped you in the water, I'm sorry." I kept dropping light kisses on her hair. "You better not get sick," I ordered, feeling a little worried.
A soft snort. "Now who's worrying?"
"That's my prerogative as your boyfriend, isn't it?" She nodded and burrowed into me. I might have melted. Just a little.
"Hey, Black!" I looked toward the voice. Quil was waving at me. "Quit making out and come get some food before I eat it all!"
"Jealous, Ateara?" Quil made a throat-slitting motion at me and jerked his head discreetly to his right. Somewhere among the girls sitting in a circle, some paces away, I think I spotted Amanda. Oops. "You had it coming!" I laughingly shouted at him. Quil sent me a dark scowl. "I'll get us some food," I told Bella and kissed her forehead. "Back in a minute."
"Like earlier?" she teased.
Uh... What? "Eh... No."
"Okay. 'Cause you were gone longer than a minute."
I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Uh, yeah. Dropped the soap and then it kinda went behind the toilet and—well, you know? Slippery lil' sucker..." Pervert.
Walk away, Black. Walk away.
o*~oiOio~*o
Clouds. Tons of them rolled in and darkened the sky above even more, and while I kind of felt like No. No don't do that, honey. Not the hoodie! Damn. (Well, she still wore those tiny shorts.) It still made it a little easier to focus on other things. More important things than ogling my girlfriend . . .
Yeah, who was I kidding? I liked the view and now that the hoodie stood in my way, it became my second-worst enemy. Second, because the only thing worse than not being able to look, was not being able to be close to her. I had Quil and Embry on either side where I sat, which messed that up for me. I was being a jerk, I knew, but the day after tomorrow Bella would go back to school, and I wanted my girl close. As much as possible.
I could go over to her, but she was laughing and smiling and that kind of was number one, overall, so it was a bit of a catch twenty-two.
I want...
Quil pulled me out of it. "So, Black?"
"Yeah?" I still kept glancing her way. She was still the most beautiful thing in my world, even all covered up. I admitted to the flannel fetish, didn't I? (Okay, so not a fetish, but still...)
"Guess what Amanda told me."
"That you're a jerk, and then she dumped you?" Embry offered.
Quil laughed once. "Ha. Funny... No."
I shrugged. "Don't know, bro—what?"
He leaned in with a conspiratorial look on his face. "Wolves, man. She heard a wolf howl in the woods behind their house last night."
I let out a frustrated groan. "Please. And now you're gonna tell me you think Uley's right? Don't—just don't even." I shook my head.
Quil looked offended. "Jeez, man. No? I'm just saying." He scooted forward a little. "Okay, look. Maybe they're going a bit cuckoo 'cause there are wolves out there, and you know how old people get with their cynical side, yeah? Like my Gran, she read in the paper that mushrooms cause cancer, right? And now she refuses to eat anything with mushrooms in it. Even soy sauce."
"Soy sauce is made of mushrooms?" Embry asked and pulled a face. "Gross, man." Both Quil and I looked at him. "What? I don't like mushrooms, okay? They're slimy and have the consistency of a booger."
Quil snorted a laugh.
"You would know," I told him, and busted up when he tried to smack me but missed.
He sulked. "I haven't chewed on boogers since diaperhood, all right?"
"Sure, sure."
Quil and Embry quieted down. Bella was coming toward us, hands in her pockets, and shoulders pulled up to her ears. She looked at us incredulously and came to a stop a couple of feet away.
She shivered. "Jeez, aren't you guys cold?" We looked at each other, shrugged, and looked back to her. Bella rolled her eyes at our silent admission. "Freaks," she teased.
I half stood and grabbed for her hand to pull her to me. "Come here," I said, and she stepped between my knees to rest her arms on my shoulders. With Quil and Embry there, I was (grudgingly) thankful for the hoodie when I wrapped my arms around her. "How's this?"
A small smile crept onto her lips. "Warm," she quietly admitted.
"Guess you better stay here, then, huh?"
Bella snorted and playfully tugged my ponytail. "Smooth, Jacob. Very smooth."
I shrugged, but grinned. Of course, it didn't escape me that I had her—those, uh, things practically in my face. I could behave. I would behave. I'm innocent. I hoped I looked it, too. That's right. I was a good boy.
I want...
Someone cleared their throat. "Keep it PG-13, Black." Quil sniggered.
I just shook my head, and without taking my eyes off of Bella's face, told him, "Shut up, Ateara. Go away."
"Come on, bro," Embry said to Quil. "Let's go see if there's any food left."
"Hey," Bella said, looking at Embry. "You don't have to leave." She turned back to me. "They don't have to go—do they?"
"It's okay, Bella, I don't mind." Embry paused. I took my eyes off of Bella, just in time to catch a funny expression on his face. He turned a bit sheepish. "Because those who mind don't matter-"
"-and those who matter don't mind," Bella cut in and grinned at Embry. "Nice one," she complimented.
"Bro, what the hell was that?" Quil demanded.
Embry just hitched a shoulder and looked a bit awkward. "I like to read—lay off, all right?"
Suddenly Bella's eyes brightened and she lifted one leg over mine to lean behind the log (where her bag was). Okay, when I wanted a view, I meant I wanted it for myself, and not for Quil and Embry to witness, too. But Bella, clueless as she was, didn't seem to realize, at all, the display she put on. One (totally blunt): her ass was, well, viewable by whoever wanted to see. And two: her hoodie hiked up and gave me way too much skin within touching range.
I want to touch. I have to touch.
I cleared my throat. "Uh, Bells?"
"Yeah? I'm just getting this—shoot. Where is it? I swear I packed it..." She leaned over a little more, and that was my breaking point, right there: her leg wedged right up against-
"We're going for a walk," I announced, and grabbed her waist, making her lose her balance momentarily, but I had her. I grabbed her hand and shot Quil and Embry a look of warning.
She looked nonplussed. "But I was-"
"Just—please?" Yeah. That was it, right there. Was I supposed to sit around and just—when I wanted to touch, I had to touch. End of story.
While I pulled her along, she glanced over her shoulder and shouted, "There should be a book in that bag somewhere—go ahead, Embry, there's nothing girly in there!" Bella tugged on my hand a little. "Where are we going?"
Good question. "Uh." I looked at her, shrugged, but kept walking. "I, uh, just wanted some alone time with you, Bells, and-" Why the beach? I needed something—anything. "-and... I just thought we could try to find some of those signs, you know?"
Bella's face was blank. "Huh? What signs?"
"Star patterns," I corrected a bit awkwardly. "Like Orion's Belt and stuff." I was making a complete idiot of myself.
"Um." She tilted her head upward, and then back to me. "That's really sweet of you, Jake, but—and I hate to say this—but, um..." In a careful voice she informed me, "There's kind of a massive cover of clouds in the way."
I looked up—not that I needed to, since I knew very well there were clouds there. I coughed and cleared my throat. "Huh... Well, look at that." Yikes. There was no way I was getting myself out of this one without (somehow) coming clean.
Bells, I'm just dragging you off 'cause I can't take it anymore and I have to touch you or I'll die. Maybe not. A little melodramatic, even for me. Honey, I love you and- No. That was not the way I wanted it to come out. Very manipulative and creepy. I nearly cringed like a girl again.
Bells, can I touch you? Please. Oh, sweet—no. What was I? Five? A little voice told me I was reliving the terrible twos, right this very moment.
"Jake?"
"Just a sec, Bells," I almost begged. "I'm thinking..."
"Okay."
Her hand squeezed mine. It was such a gentle gesture, and my heart was already beating so hard, but it took off even more and I really was dying to touch and kiss her, so I just couldn't take it.
I stopped.
Bella continued forward, but before she realized, I pulled her back, acted on want alone, and put my mouth on hers. But then I think I shocked her, since she gasped when my hands somehow were moving up her back, but under the clothes this time. No more fabric. No more materials. Just her skin under my searching fingers. I wasn't rough, but I was very needy.
And she was so soft. And felt so awesome. But I still had to ask.
"Bells?" I didn't care if my voice was cracking and weird, while I pressed lots and lots of tiny kisses across every contour of her face. "Is this okay? Can I—the touching, I mean—can I touch you like this?" Wow—but maybe I should-
"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, you can—oh. Yes, that's okay, too," she added when I moved down her waist and lightly brushed over her stomach before moving back up again.
I paused and searched her eyes. "You'll tell me if it's-"
"I want it, too," she blurted, and before I caught onto what was happening she had her hand on my hand and moved it right up—holy... Bella's fingers linked through mine before she pressed down on my hand with the heel of her palm and up—wow. "See?" she said, a bit breathless.
I tried to swallow twice before it worked. "Uh-huh. Well, I can't see," I joked, "but—Bells?" I was confused, not only because she had put my hand on her boob, but now she moved it away again. When I realized what she was doing, I sputtered. "Honey? You don't have to... Hey, keep it on, it's—okay, that's cool." My eyes were glued to the fancy contraption that came into view. "Nice."
Bella had the hoodie off completely. "Um..." I forced myself to look at her face. Aw—so much blushing. She was killing me. "Jake?" she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"It's a little cold..."
Duh... "Sorry." I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her. She started giggling. Man. I had absolutely no idea what was going on, except that I had most definitely touched Bella's boob, and now she wore nothing, waist up, apart from the bra.
"Jake," she mumbled into my shirt while I moved my hands over her back. So amazing. If I was dreaming, whoever woke me up was in for an earful. "You're so sweet."
I was? "I am?" What did I do?
"Yes." She shifted a little and when I loosened my arms, she grabbed my shirt and stretched up until I felt her lips move across my neck. My breathing got a bit weird from that point onward, and she didn't stop exploring. When she said, "Mm, Jake?" it made her mouth vibrate against my skin.
Please. I want so badly... "Yes, honey?"
Somehow she managed to reach my ear. "Touch me," she whispered and reached for one of my hands. I let her guide it to wherever she wanted to have it.
Feeling her move me up along her ribs, I turned my face so I could kiss her. It wasn't fair that my neck got more from her lips than I did. All I found was her hairline, though, but I trailed butterfly kisses all along it, down her forehead and nose until she tilted her head so I could press my mouth to the corner of hers. With light nips I went along the upper curve, trying to tease her enough to make her kiss me back.
"Please," I whispered. "I want your lips."
She gave them to me, and also grazed mine with the tip of her tongue. I was just about to respond when she moved. She looked at me with a playful little smile. She was so mean and totally unfair. "Here," she instructed, and pointed to her neck.
I couldn't help myself. "You got it all backwards, Bells; I'm the wolf, remember? Not the vamp."
She grinned when I lost focus a little, what with my hand shaped to the silk-wrapped swell again. "Well—wolf, kiss my lips, then."
Sure.
I leaned in, but redirected and pressed an open-mouthed kiss just below her jaw. She shivered under my hands that grew more confident, and the wet trail I left all the way down to her shoulder raised goosebumps on her skin.
I had to regain some dignity.
"Okay," she breathed. "That was—can you do it again?"
"Anything you want," I promised into her shoulder, but followed her collarbone this time before I moved up her throat. Pushing my luck a little (had to do that), I flicked my tongue over her skin. Her breath hitched, making me smile, and I repeated it a few more times until I reached her bottom lip.
"You"—her tongue lightly touched my lips—"are really"—and I met it with mine—"good at that." She let out a stuttering breath. I closed my mouth over hers and pushed into the wet warmth to stroke along her tongue, over and over, until every single Firefly in my stomach had popped.
I think I was literally on fire, and my heart hurt so much—the good kind of hurt. Each touch added onto another pain, too, that was not so nice, especially when (without my really approving first) I pushed Bella's bra up, in one firm shove, and cupped her in my hand.
Sweet, holy—whoa. Bella totally arched into me with one of those electrifying whimpers, and I thought I would die right then and there.
Ouch—ouch—go away.
I'm not really sure how it happened, but in one moment she was fumbling with something behind her back (and asked me to help take it off, Jake), and in the next I was on the sand with Bella in a heap on my lap, giggling almost hysterically.
She was moving around and squirming to sit up, and it was so very difficult to think. "Bells—honey? Bells"—I made some noise—"please," I begged. I was going to die if she didn't stop.
Finally she did stop – thank you, God – but now she was staring at me, eyes wide. Right, uh, okay? She was still right there (her legs on either side of my thighs), but at least she wasn't moving. Until she grabbed my face and (yeah—wow) crushed my mouth.
I wasn't going to discourage that, and responded with equal enthusiasm. (Of course my hands were back on her boobs. I couldn't help myself.)
But then she tugged at my hair, rubbed right against that very achy and painful part, and my brain died again. I think I made some very embarrassing noise too, but I couldn't be sure, because Bella interrupted what tiny capacity to process information I had left when she, again, rubbed against me. She made the most awesome noises I had ever heard, and I was on top of the world.
And dying at the same time; I was going to totally humiliate myself if I let her continue.
"Bella," I managed to choke out. "Please, honey. You've gotta stop."
She sat stock still, and our breathing was pretty ragged. "Don't—you—want-"
I cut her off quickly. "I want you—I mean, I do want... to—to, I want to, uh..." Geez. Duh... Still no brain function for coherent speech. I took a deep breath and rested my forehead against hers.
"Okay," she whispered. "Okay, good, 'cause I want you, too." She sucked her breath in and exhaled in a shudder. Her cheeks were bright pink and she was so beautiful.
I searched her eyes until she dared to look at me. "You're amazing," I told her. She was. I wasn't making any sense, but she got me anyway. That was pretty amazing, so that made her amazing. In all kinds of ways. I love you so, so very much. I touched her face with both hands, and plucked some hair out of it before placing a light kiss to her lips. I stayed there a while, just our lips moving.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her as tight as possible.
"Jake?" she mumbled against my mouth.
"Mm?"
"I really meant what I said earlier," she told me quietly, and then she hid in my neck. Okay—earlier? Great. She had said a lot today. Done a lot, too—current position was proof of that. And, naturally, I wasn't complaining.
"I'm sorry, Bells, but my brain's dead. You'll have to refresh my memory."
A soft snort blew her breath over my skin, and I tightened my arms around her when she burrowed into me. "You," she said, so quietly I barely heard her. "I only want to be near you. Never anyone else—ever."
I was going to burst. It wasn't possible to get this lucky or to feel this good. "Well, that's good," I said, and my voice cracked for the thousandth time today. I still didn't care. "'Cause I'm not letting anyone else have you—ever." I kissed her ear, and she shivered. "I mean, I got to keep you... right?"
Bella nodded. "Yes...," she whispered, and then added, "Can I sleep with you tonight? I- I mean, we don't—not like that, just... Can I?"
Slow down, heart. "Sure, sure," I agreed casually. "We'll work something out."
Bella... In my bed... Wow, just—wow.
Not so wow for that other part I thought I was rid of but seemed to, just like my hands, do stuff without consulting me first. Maybe I should have thought that one through before agreeing to it—oh man.
Ah well. I was a guy, and she'd figure some stuff out sooner or later. Sooner, a part told me. Later, I responded back.
Jacob Black was a good boy. That's right. Even if I really needed to take care of some... stuff. Before Bella and I had—went to, uh, sleep. Yeah. Sleep...
Pervert.
o*~oiOio~*o
