The night air wasn't the only thing cold that night, but the deep thudding in her chest should hardly count. It was beating and living and warm, just as it was meant to be. Kagome sighed, softly to herself so that she would not wake the others slumbering next to her. Camping again had brought about some age old sorrows, and even though the setting was different, the time more modern, and she had believed herself over the whole escapade, she was still lying here, looking up at the stars curling around her vision while the chilly autumn she inhaled froze her heart piece by piece.
Yes, no need to be melodramatic or anything.
She could still tell the time without any form of clock on her person, something you just picked up after years of being incapable of keeping a watch on your wrist for long without it breaking or snagging or some wayward evil-doer out to kill you ripping it off. And it had been hours since lights out. She withheld the next sigh, instead rolling over as quietly as she could and propping herself up on her forearms. It was useless; she wasn't getting the rest she wanted tonight.
Bracing herself as best she could, Kagome pushed her body up without crinkling the sleeping bag too much, inching out of it slow enough so the gentle snores of the other campers covered her movements. She still had a few hours until daylight. If she was going to be up with only melancholy memories to keep her company, might as well be productive about it.
So she stumbled out of the campsite the others had put together; if Inuyasha had been here, they'd never hear the end of their sloppiness. The fire would never last, and they'd be tracked too easily. Especially with the black fog rising because of the type of fuel they were giving it. The campers were noisy, didn't compact the site enough, and being so loud and large surely something would find them before the end of the night. And to top it all off, they were so wasteful with their supplies.
Kagome smiled wryly to herself. Having a tiny, talking dog-demon in her head was probably not the best remedy for recovering from the past.
She let out the next sigh as loudly as she wanted; she'd gotten enough distance from the group and was soon upon her little patch of grass she'd found wandering earlier in the woods. The nice thing about a hiking and camping trip in one was that they got deep enough into the forest that one could almost pretend civilization didn't exist and that simpler times were upon them.
Although again, not exactly the best thing for her to stop thinking about demons and lords and happy slayers who had made peace for such a short while –
She was not thinking of them.
Kagome sat down on the mossy bed; thankfully it hadn't rained recently and the only risk she ran was getting a little dirty. The stars were more visible here, and she let her head fall back against the trunk of the tree behind her, staring up into a never-ending reality. Was that to be her, living forever in suspended time and never being able to fully accept the world around her again? Simply because when she was young she'd made the mistake of trying to rescue a fat cat and save a scared boy from entering the dark?
Or because she'd tried to recover what she'd lost, stop the demons from gaining so much power that she'd never be capable of helping her friends. Of rectifying the mayhem and darkness that had covered the land, simply because she'd shot with all her might.
Kagome frowned. She was really on a losing streak tonight.
A soft rustling sound made the young woman tense, and she braced herself against the bark of the tree, her head lolling to the side. To a passer-by (although what passer-by was wandering around so late at night and in the middle of nowhere was beyond her) she simply appeared to be looking off into the distance from a different angle.
"Kagome? Is that you out here?"
The slightly timid, but assuredly-confident (the timidity was merely a side-effect from his soft spoken nature) voice made Kagome relax, frowning and smiling softly at the same time. It was difficult, but she managed.
"Yuki?" she called out, turning around a bit so she had a clear view of the silver-haired male. "What are you doing out here?"
The man in question walked forward so that he was standing above Kagome and leaning against her tree. She hadn't found the biggest clearing after all, and there was hardly room for the both of them. He cocked his head. "I should ask you as much. I heard a rustling and thought I'd investigate; the boy's camp is just a few meters that way."
He pointed in the general northwards direction and Kagome cursed. She hadn't thought of any other campsite but her own. Really, these school functions should separate their factions a little better. Any young lovers could find each other for a devious romp in the woods.
She patted the ground next to her, looking up at him made her neck hurt, and Yuki took the seat silently, looking at her vaguely as if the sleep wasn't quite out of his eyes yet. Actually, when looking closer Kagome rather thought he looked similar to how she must be; as if he hadn't succumbed to the sleep at all yet. But what in the world would keep the Prince from resting?
"You heard a rustling noise and just thought you'd investigate? It could've been some wild animal for all you know."
He shrugged. "Didn't occur to me." Although of course, it had. But rats were everywhere, not just sewers these days, and it hadn't been a problem to figure out the human shape disappearing into the woods.
Kagome scowled to herself. Silly humans these days. They had no sense of self-preservation.
For a few moments silence passed over them, peaceful to the priestess, before the quiet whooshing of air and the sudden weight on her shoulder made Kagome turn her head abruptly. Yuki, apparently deciding that since he knew where the danger lay and that everything appeared to be safe, had given in to the sandman. His breathing softened and slowed as the young man slumbered on.
What the hell?
Kagome blushed slightly but left him where he was. If he was tired it was probably best to let him rest. Besides, it wasn't as if she was going anywhere. His insomnia may be easily cured, but tonight hers certainly wasn't. Too much to think about and not enough time in the day to get through it all.
She'd come across the Sohma's shortly after returning from the Feudal Era. Simply put, she hadn't been in the best of shape at the time; mourning the loss of her friends, her home, and most importantly, the place where she'd assumed she'd spend the rest of her life. Suddenly both the past and the future were ripped away from her, and she hadn't coped as gracefully as she'd liked, thinking back upon it.
Of course, time was never one to stand still. She'd returned to school, a different one this time, one a little less costly and a little more conducive to relearning the last few years of curriculum that she'd missed out on. It was something to occupy herself with, but never enough. And then she met Tohru. A delightful little girl who'd gone through her own share of hardships and come out on the other side with a smile. Even if their plights were incomparable, Kagome admired her for this resilience.
And of course, if one knew Tohru, one knew the Sohmas. It was the way they worked; Tohru did live with some of them after all. They were kind, well-mannered, and above all, accepting. Because as many weird things as she had in her past, one that she had yet to divulge, they had in theirs. It was that otherworldly sense to them that she got occasionally that she hadn't had the urge to investigate. Of course she had picked up their aversion to the opposite gender; they were hardly subtle about it. Nor were they inconspicuous about the hushed references to some clan leader. It wasn't hard to notice when you spent most of your time with them.
And she had. Spent all her time with them she meant. She'd needed to cope, and she'd thrown herself into it however she could. They had told her to live, before they'd disappeared from her life forever, and she had been trying to respect the last wish made by her pseudo family from the past. People such as Yuki or Momiji made that a little bit easier.
She smiled a little at the thought of the little blonde boy. He reminded her of Shippo, and once she could cope with that she was dearly grateful for it. She loved the little boy (although he didn't need to know that; didn't want to risk scaring him away) like she had the young fox demon, even if thinking too hard about it made her want to scream and cry and pound her fists into the earth until it decided to rewrite history and give her a second chance.
Kagome slumped a little. It was doing her no good if she couldn't think about the past without wanting to rectify it. What was done was done. She would let herself regret it all she wanted, but she wasn't about to go and let that ruin her life.
The cool breeze started up again, ruffling her and Yuki's hair together. She laid her head over his, letting the wind brush against her cheek and remove the obstructions from her face. It was certainly peaceful out here. She'd never completely be over her love of the outdoors. As much as it was a drug to her, bringing a delightful pain that she constantly sought once she'd found it, it was also a calming influence. It let her relax and think. It let her contemplate the world she was going to make her home in.
Yuki shifted slightly underneath her, apparently not as asleep as she'd assumed. "What're you thinking about?"
She smiled softly, not looking down at him and not lifting her own head off his. "Changes I suppose. Good and bad ones."
The young man pulled away, forcing Kagome to raise her head despite the protests emitted from her neck. Once righted up, he looked down on Kagome; her own dismal height hardly comparable to that of a man's. His eyes were curious, but also tinged with a seriousness that made Kagome look up at him with a start.
"You are thinking about changes in your life?"
She nodded, still looking at him strangely. Maybe it was simply the time of night or the thousands of thoughts running through her head (even she could admit to herself that one of the more uh, welcome changes in her life was the entrance of this adorable individual) but she couldn't help but think that there was something more he wanted to say.
She forced the sigh into a smile, the memories of these last few months running through her mind. Night making her bold, memories making her foolish, Kagome looked away from Yuki and decided instead to lean against him, letting her back rest once again against the tree. She closed her eyes, but spoke quietly still. "Yes, those ones. I don't know if you remember me back when I first returned to school, but I wasn't in a good place. It is an improvement to be here tonight." She laughed to herself at that. "Although of course, it would also be an improvement to get a decent night's sleep too, I suppose."
He seemed as if there was more to add on to that, but gave in with his own soft laugh. One that quickly faded into the silence of the night. Kagome kept her eyes shut now with more determination, resisting the urge to look the man as he shifted against her.
He cleared his throat a little, not precisely nervous, but something along those lines. "I recall. You had eyes that led nowhere."
Before she could catch herself, Kagome agreed with a tinge of bitterness. "Well I have been told my eyes are a window to my soul."
The body next to her tensed for a moment, allowing the quietness of the night to wash over. Truly, the sky was beautiful now, and Kagome couldn't resist cracking an eye open to gaze up at the stars. Were these still the same ones she had looked at so long ago? An arm wrapping around her waist drew her out of the thought. She looked up at Yuki with surprise. He was looking off into the distance with a sad look.
His voice remained steady though. "Is that what you truly believe?"
It took Kagome a moment to figure out what he was talking about, but she just laughed when she had. "Oh Yuki. I don't mean anything by it. I certainly hope I don't look like that anymore."
She damn well better not, Kagome thought with a vengeance, for she had worked hard these last few months to socialize and breath the life back into her soul.
He shook his head, scattering silver hair into her eyes. It looked like moonlight with the way the stars shone upon it. Liquid silver. She never thought she'd be able to see a color even resembling the one she looked back upon so fondly, not without cringing.
She allowed the grip around her waist for now; the Sohma boys all had some odd fascination with hugging her, although generally it was always in the essence of friendship or comfort and for these reasons Kagome let it slide. As best she could she understood the odd relationship within the family and she'd been around enough outcasts and adults who'd grown up without another living creatures touch or love to know that it was as much as she could do for the family that had saved her.
Yuki sighed, drawing her attention once again back to reality. She went off daydreaming far too often to be healthy. Of course, by her internal watch it was almost five in the morning. She was surprised Yuki had made it up this late.
Allowing herself a concession (she'd been on her best behaviour as of late; no wanton hugging or touching, not when the memories were resurfacing and other thoughts started creeping up in her head, ones that had little to do with the past and much more to do with the now and the liquid moonlight) she snuggled in deeper to Yuki's side. She spoke her words on the edge of a sigh. "You and your family are much of the reason. I am very grateful for the hospitality you've shown me." She'd closed her eyes again, speaking to the darkness.
It was almost a testament to how far along she'd come to let her barriers drop that Kagome could feel the smile Yuki gave her. "It has certainly been our pleasure. You are a wonderful influence on the household."
Kagome shook her head against his chest. "Nah, Tohru's got that all taken care of. I just kind of wedge myself in here. Any help I can give I'm happy to, but you all have been more help to me then you realize."
Thankfully Yuki knew Kagome well enough to let the issue slide. He'd press her again when she was more…conscious. "And yet, here you are, in the middle of the night. Wandering in the woods."
The school had gone on a trip, three days and nights, and it had been everything for Kagome to not venture out the last night. If she did not get her rest tomorrow night she'd faint by the third day, and that'd be no good. She'd needed this one moment of peace to let the pain wash over her.
And Yuki had shown up and brought her out of it. She was never at risk of drowning in her sorrows; not with her faithful swarm of friends. But however could you communicate to the people you had come to love that you had a past that wouldn't stay where it needed to, and some days the one she needed the most protection from was herself?
She made a half-truth instead. "I couldn't sleep very well. And it's so pretty out tonight."
He nodded. "It is."
With the words that kept slipping out her mouth however Kagome realized she could learn to hate the half awake, half asleep train of thoughts that she was incapable of stopping. She opened her eyes, looking at him gently "And of course, you're here."
He pulled her closer to him. As if he thought nothing of her admission. After all the emotions she'd shared in the past, and the consequential heartache, wearing her heart on her sleeve was simply a task she wasn't up to. She could barely tell Tohru that she enjoyed her company.
"Yes, I am. So get some sleep."
She smiled at that. "And what if someone finds us?"
He matched her grin for grin, and it was the last thing she saw before she shut her eyes. "Then we tell them I'm saving you from bears."
She didn't bother telling him there were no bears in this part of the forest. The silver moonlight of his hair burned into her eyes, and Kagome drifted off into a pleasantly blank sleep.
So I know, I know. Another story. Ahahah. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. I swear, I at least have the next two chapters typed up. I'm just editing.
I'll finish one. Mhmm. Eventually .
Feedback is always appreciated :)
