Paradise Lost

She sat with her head on his shoulder, tears running freely. It felt so hard to breath and she felt ashamed but she could not stop the tears. She tried to tell him that she hurt so bad because they had just lost Daniel but in the back of his mind he knew. He knew the real reason this hurt so bad.

She had lost him again. Not to just some planet where they knew the people and knew they were kind. But she had lost him this time somewhere where she could not find him. Where she could not follow. Where she had no idea what so ever on how to get him home. And it hurt her – hurt her so bad that he wondered if her heart would ever be whole again. If the tears would ever stop coming.

He held her and heard her whispered words, just loud enough that he really did not know if she knew he could hear them. It was not fair and he had often stated that. It was not fair that two people that loved each other the way O'Neill and Major Carter did, could not be together. Her whispered words caught in her throat as she whispered how she loved him, loved him more than life itself. Needed him more than trees needed oxygen. She wanted him – wanted him more than a junkie wanted a fix. God, she could not go through this again.

O'Neill had explained to Teal'c why they could not be together but it still made no sense. Would it not be better for them to be together and be able to express themselves then for all their aggression and anger finally break out and someone get seriously hurt. He had watched her with the scientist and how she had almost lost it because they had exhausted all means of finding O'Neill and it hurt her so much more because she could not tell them why she strived so hard to find him. She could not tell them that without O'Neill she would not be able to live another day.

He said nothing but continued to hold her, knowing that he would do the same for O'Neill if it should ever happen. Had done the same for O'Neill when Major Carter had been seriously hurt or when O'Neill had to save the base from the entity. He had sat and watched both of his friends hurt over the pain that the one they loved went through – knowing they could never show it to the public eye.

He pulled her closer to him and whispered in her ear -so only she knew what he said. And she looked up at him with renewed strength as his words hit home. Words that she needed to hear but could not say herself. Because they had agreed to leave it in the room.

"Do not worry, Major Carter. O'Neill knows how you feel. He knows that you will do everything in your power to bring him home. And because he knows this – he will stay alive just so he can see you again."

"Really Teal'c – you really think so?"

"Indeed"