Title: Tattered
Spoilers: None. Set in no specific season.
Summary: Olivia often wondered how much she had left to give.
Disclaimer: If only I did own them... if only.
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As soon as Olivia locked the door behind her she was shedding clothing on her way down the hall. Jacket, top, tank, all littered the floor like breadcrumbs to her destination, the bathroom. She turned the tap on the shower to full hot, and then finished removing the last of the garments.
The stream battered her weary form, biting at her flesh like dancing flames. She stood still like that for a long time, with her forehead resting against the dripping tiles on the wall. Each case thrust to her very core, their jagged tips tearing away another piece of her soul. Olivia often wondered how much she had left to give; when passion would be snuffed and replaced by mere duty. It was a day she both hoped for and dreaded, for one way or the other it would be the day her suffering finally ended.
Kelly Markson was thirty-four. With mid-length brown hair, sparkling green eyes, and unblemished skin kissed just the right shade of tan by the sun, she had been striking. A brick had made quick work of that. Her left cheek had been crushed, and the reconstructive surgeries she had undergone in the weeks since the attack had only gone so far. The woman was forever marked, and would have to live with the permanent reminder of her assault.
Cragen had finally pulled them from the case. They were spinning their wheels, getting absolutely nowhere. Evidence at the scene had been nonexistent. Kelly had been pulled into a dark alley, with some sort of bag pulled over her head. The brick seemed to be a weapon of opportunity, left in the alley with the victim. Despite that, the perp had enough forethought to wear gloves, and a condom. And was smart enough not to toss the condom into the nearby garbage bins. Olivia was torn between whether this guy was organized or just plain lucky.
Their canvassing turned up nothing definitive either. An ex-boyfriend who may have been disgruntled enough, but whose alibi was air tight. The attack was just deliberate enough to be premeditated, but the random factors were also strong enough to suggest that anyone would have done.
Knowing this perp would probably attack again given enough time was not comforting.
Some cases they just couldn't solve. It went with the job. And, as frustrating as that was, Olivia had learned to deal with it. Mostly. This time wasn't so simple, because Kelly had been so damn thankful for their efforts the whole time. Never had she raised a negative word towards the squad. It would be easier if she had, rather than thanking them for their apparent ineptitude. Kelly deserved to have the barest comfort that came with knowing her attacker was serving justice. Now, she simply got to live the rest of her life wondering if he'd ever come back to finish the job.
Olivia couldn't tell how long she had been sobbing, or when the spray of water had turned to ice. It was only as the tap was turned off that she realized either. She still didn't move as the body stepped into the wet tub, still clothed. Gentle hands grabbed her reddened shoulders, pulling her in. Olivia found her arms wrapping around of their own volition.
"She doesn't deserve this," Olivia said between sobs. Hands stroked her back.
"I know."
Olivia squeezed, desperate for all the comfort she could manage. The frayed edges of her soul started to weave back together. A small repair, but it was a start. It gave her hope.
Maybe, just maybe, that day wasn't so inevitable after all.
